Orienteering and Rudimentary Survival Skills
Disclaimer: Spoilers up to and including 3.15 Origins of Vampire Mythology. Which I don't own, by the way.
"All right, Greendale students! Everyone gather over here, please!" The Dean's voice calls out across the forest clearing. Jeff and Annie join in with the small crowd of orienteering students as they huddle around waiting for instructions for the day.
"Here are your maps and coordinates," the Dean announces as he hands out sheets of paper to each team. Jeff immediately hands it over to Annie to examine. "Now, this should take you about three hours, although I suspect some of you more strikingly athletic students-" at this point the Dean's gaze snaps to Jeff, who shuffles uncomfortably "-might manage it in a bit less."
"Now grab your backpacks and get started!"
Jeff easily hefts his light backpack onto his back. Beside him, Annie drags at her backpack and Jeff doesn't miss the grimace as she hoists it onto her shoulders.
"Geez, Annie, what have you got in that thing? Textbooks?" he asks.
"I did consider bringing our orienteering textbook, but considering it's just been written by the Dean and every second chapter is an excerpt from Dean Dangerous, I didn't think it would be worth bringing. I've just got basic survival supplies in here."
"Annie. It's a three hour course. I hardly think we're going to need survival supplies."
"And I'd agree with you if this was any other school than Greendale or if the class was being taken by anyone other than the Dean. Don't you think it's strange that he takes orienteering?"
Jeff ponders this for a moment. "Well, I figured it was just an excuse for him to wear his Pop and Lock-tober fest outfit again." He jerks his head in the direction of the Dean, who is wearing lederhosen and a feathered cap.
"He has made it a bit more Alpine Hiker, but I think he might have shortened the hems on his lederhosen. And put in some side slits. Ew." Annie points out with distaste.
Jeff successfully resists the urge to check and instead shrugs off his backpack and holds it out to Annie. "You may have a point with needing the supplies. But we want to win this and you'll slow us down if you're lugging that bag. So switch."
As he slides on Annie's bag, Jeff wonders whether she's lying about not bringing the textbook, because the bag is heavy.
"Which way?" he asks. Annie is busily examining the map and coordinates and fiddling with their compass. She taps at the compass glass a few times and gives it a shake.
"That way," she points. "I think."
"You think?"
"That's the way the compass tells me. We could switch jobs and you could navigate, you know."
"Annie, you know I don't read maps."
"Can't, you mean." She mutters under her breath as they start off at a light jog. Jeff chooses not to dignify this with a response.
He was surprised when Annie was the only one in the study group to join him in his orienteering class. She didn't strike him as particularly athletic, and he'd actually thought Troy or Abed might have taken him up on the suggestion. However, the scheduling for orienteering clashed with Troy's dance class with Britta and Abed said he needed to dedicate extra time to his film class.
Annie had been moderately offended at Jeff asking whether she realised it required a fair bit of physical activity.
"I'll have you know I jog every day." She'd huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and raising her chin. "When I lived above Dildopolis I figured I should keep my fitness up in case I ever had to out run a rapist and I've stuck with it."
Jeff still can't believe she lived at that slum for over two years by herself. He's angry at himself for not insisting she move as soon as he found out where she was living, but he also realises that it was her only choice and she would have moved in a heartbeat if she'd been able to find somewhere safer and as affordable to live. Plus, he really didn't want to have to act like her dad and order her to move. Sure, there are times when he's itching to put Annie over his knee, but for reasons that are completely and utterly not fatherly.
"Is that the control point?" Annie's voice breaks into his ruminations and Jeff peers at where she's pointing. They've been jogging along silently for about ten minutes, occasionally pausing so that Annie can double check their progress against the map.
"Are we due to see one soon?" Jeff asks.
"Well, yes, but they're supposed to be orange or something…is that a Dalmatian?"
It is indeed a Dalmatian; a plastic figurine about a foot high. Annie reaches out to check its collar for the code word they need to write down onto their map to verify they've found the point, but Jeff tugs her back before she can touch it.
"That obviously belongs to the Dean, so I wouldn't recommend actually touching it. I'll do it." With a grimace of distaste, Jeff leans over and flips the collar's tag to reveal the word SPOT.
"There are wipes in the front pocket of my bag, just let me get them." She hussles behind him after she writes down the word, and then passes Jeff a wet wipe.
"Hawthorne Wipes?" Jeff asks as he thoroughly scrubs at his hand.
"Nope, Red Dragon. I stopped getting Hawthorne's after they kicked Pierce out."
"How loyal of you."
"There's a reason I'm his favourite, Jeff."
"How many more control points?" Jeff asks, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. It's still relatively early in the day, but the sun is beating down fiercely.
"Nineteen. We'd better get going."
They take off at the same easy pace they've made and Jeff automatically adjusts his stride to Annie's shorter one.
"I'm really glad you decided to do this class with me." He says.
"You mean once I proved that I could keep up with you and you realised that I could read maps?" she says wryly.
"That and because it's nice to spend time with you."
"Really?" she asks, and the degree of incredulity in her voice makes Jeff feel a stab of shame that he doesn't let her know more often how much he enjoys being with her.
"Really. Now let's find the rest of these markers."
They're almost halfway through the course and Annie is doing a quick check of their position against the map. The markers have been almost impossible to spot unless they're right in front of them, and Annie is busily checking their position against the map and compass.
"Shouldn't we be right on top of the next one?" Jeff asks, scanning around. They're on a rocky outcrop, with a steep drop to one side and thick forest on the other.
"We should, but either there's an error in this map or the compass is playing up." Annie responds, tapping at the compass more forcefully. She then turns in a circle and carefully watches the compass needle the entire time.
"Uh, Jeff?"
"Annie?"
"This compass is broken. I have no idea where we are."
Jeff blinks stupidly for a moment. "Don't be ridiculous, you've got a map."
"Which is useless if I don't know whereabouts on it we are." Annie's got a furrow of concern between her brows as she examines it more closely. "We should be around here somewhere," she says, circling a section of the map with one finger.
"I don't suppose part of your survival kit includes a new compass?" Jeff asks hopefully, shrugging off the backpack.
Annie's eyes widen in disbelief. "That would be cheating, Jeff! You're supposed to use the equipment issued."
"Yeah, equipment issued by Greendale. It's probably something the Dean found in a cereal box. Well screw this; I have an appointment with my hair stylist at 5pm. Pass me my bag."
Annie slips the straps off her shoulders and hands Jeff the backpack. He rifles through it and lets out a triumphant HA! when he pulls out his Blackberry.
"Jeff! You know you're not supposed to bring along a phone!"
"Well it's a stupid rule. Urgh, the reception here sucks." He raises the phone up and waves it around a bit, then starts walking up and down the path.
"Be careful, Jeff, that path isn't the greatest." Annie points out anxiously as Jeff steps precariously close to the edge of the bank.
"It's fine, ooh, there's a bar! If I lean out a bit more…" He leans out further and a few small rocks crumble beneath his feet and bounce down the steep bank below.
"Jeff, seriously, you need to take a step back." Annie's voice is rising as he continues to lean out. She takes a step closer to him as more rocks start loosening from beneath his feet.
"Nearly got the GPS up, Annie, give it a second." He's waving the phone more energetically and the extra momentum shifts more rocks.
"Jeff!" Annie screams, lunging at him to try and grab his shirt as his footing finally gives way.
"Jeff! Are you okay? Jeff, you need to answer me!" Annie's voice is being muffled by a ringing in his ears. Jeff opens his eyes and blinks at the bright light and tries to lift his head. He groans at the resulting flash of pain that shoots through his head.
A few pebbles bounce down around him and over the ringing he can hear Annie sliding and slipping down the bank to his side. She drops to her knees by his side and he can just make out the blood on her hands and knees from where she scrabbled down to him.
"Annie? What the hell?" he mumbles. She throws herself at him and presses her mouth to his in a fervent kiss. For once in his life, Jeff doesn't immediately return the kiss because he's so dazed. Annie pulls back and smacks him in the arm.
"You fell down the bank trying to get reception on your stupid phone, you stupid, stupid man! I thought you were dead! And it looks like your leg is broken." Annie sits back on her heels and lets out a sob. She's crying and the tears and sliding down her face and leaving a track in the dust that has settled there.
"Oh my God," Jeff tries to get up, but the pain in his head stops him. He can't think straight. Did Annie really just kiss him? What was that she said about his legs? "Are they okay?"
"No, I already told you I think it's broken."
"Not my legs, my jeans."
"Jeff! I just told you your leg might be broken and the only thing you're worried about is your jeans?"
"Legs heal. These jeans are hand stitched and individually treated to distress them. They're irreplaceable."
Annie mutters something under her breath that sounds to Jeff like a very unflattering character assessment and then she gets to her feet and starts scrambling back up the bank.
"Hey! Where are you going?" he calls out, panicking at the thought that she might be leaving him here without letting him know the condition of his jeans.
"I'm getting the backpacks. You're covered in gashes and I need to do something about that head wound. And before you ask, yes, you have blood through your hair."
He reaches up to pat his hair and brings his fingers in front of his eyes. Sure enough, his fingers are sticky with bright red blood.
"But what about my jeans?" he bellows back at her, wincing at the sudden flare of pain behind his eyes.
A few minutes later, a shower of small pebbles and dust falls on Jeff and announces Annie's imminent arrival. Her heavy backpack slides down first and lands near Jeff's side, followed by Annie wearing Jeff's lighter bag. She slips off the bag she's wearing, tossing it to one side, and immediately starts rifling through hers for supplies. She works on his head first, cleaning the gash with some clean water and applying a pressure pad before wrapping it in a length of gauze.
"It doesn't really go without your outfit, Jeff, but it should stop the bleeding. I'm going to try and prop you up now, okay?" Jeff nods and only feels the briefest flash of dizziness as Annie helps to drag him upright and against a large boulder at the base of the bank. Finally Jeff can see his jeans and it's not good. They're covered in rips and blood and completely ruined. Then he notices that his lower leg is looking kind of funny from the knee down.
"Wow, you weren't kidding about the leg." He comments, feeling strangely calm. "Shouldn't it be hurting?"
"I think you're in shock," Annie says worriedly. "It'll probably start to hurt soon and I don't have anything stronger than aspirin in my bag."
"What? Why the hell not? I hardly think aspirin is going to take the edge off a broken…" Jeff trails off as he looks at Annie and remembers why she's unlikely to be carrying a mini pharmacy around with her. "Shit. I'm sorry, Annie. Of course you wouldn't want pills around you. I'm such an ass."
"It's okay, Jeff." Still, she's stopped looking through the bag and is sitting with her hands in her lap.
"I'm still an insensitive jerk."
"Yeah, but you're getting better." Annie replies. She gently feels his leg and then glances up at him.
"Jeff? You're not going to like this, but I think I need to cut away the leg of your jeans so I can check out your leg." Annie bites the corner of her lip and waits for Jeff's reaction.
"Is that necessary? I mean, someone will start looking for us once they realise we haven't finished the course." He sounds oddly calm and Annie is relieved that he hasn't started hyperventilating or taking a log of wood to fend her off with to keep his precious jeans safe.
"They should start looking for us. Or at least the Dean will start looking for you. But that could be hours away. And I have no idea how far off course that stupid compass got us."
Jeff glances down at his jeans. True, they're pretty much ruined but he wonders whether or not he could pull off the trashed and torn jeans look. The blood stains might be a bit much, but with some pre-treatment those should come out in the wash. Plus, he's Jeff Winger. Is there any outfit that he can't pull off?
"If it makes the decision any easier, I'm pretty certain I saw the Dean wearing a pair of the same jeans a few weeks ago." Annie lies, crossing her fingers behind her back.
"Cut them off."
Nearly an hour later, Annie has cut away the leg of Jeff's jeans to just above the knee and cleaned up the various cuts and scrapes before making a makeshift splint. Not for the first time, Jeff's impressed with her nursing abilities and tries not to think about what she may have had to do with while living over Dildopolis.
His head feels clearer and he suddenly recalls how Annie kissed him when she realised he hadn't managed to kill himself.
"You kissed me." He says slowly.
Annie glances over, her face turning slightly pink. "I was just so relieved you were okay. I thought you were dead, Jeff. Watching you fall like that was horrible and then you were just laying there…" her voice trails off and Jeff reaches over to squeeze her hand.
"You're so important to me, Jeff. I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you."
Jeff's heart feels like it's swelling close to bursting in his chest. He's known there was something between he and Annie since the time she kissed him to win the debate, but he denied it at first because she was too young and then because he wasn't good enough for her. The whole time he's been working with his therapists this year Annie's been in the back of his mind and he's been working towards deserving her.
"Come here," he commands gruffly. She slides over to him and he drags her up onto his lap and into his arms.
"Jeff! Your leg!" she squeals, batting at his chest.
"My leg will be fine for a few minutes, Annie. Now keep still." He leans over and captures her lips with his. There's a moment's hesitation on Annie's part before her lips part and she allows him to deepen the kiss.
After a few blissful minutes, Annie puts her hand on Jeff's chest and pushes back, breaking the kiss. "Jeff, wait. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep having these…moments with you and then pretending nothing's going on."
She's looking at him with her eyes filled with sadness and her fingers are curling into his tshirt and Jeff feels like the world's biggest asshole.
"I'm sorry Annie. Not for this," he hurries to add when her face drops further and she looks down at where she's clutching onto him. "For all those times I brushed you aside or denied this thing between us. I've been working so hard this year to be better so that I could even start to deserve you. But after that thing with Blade at the carnival I realised that I had to stop wanting to get better for you and start wanting to get better for me. Then I'd finally be in a place where I could tell you how I feel."
Annie looks up and Jeff sees an overwhelming hope in her eyes. "Are you…are you in that place yet?" she asks almost shyly.
"I think I finally am." He says and he's telling the truth. This year has felt like the darkest of winters and sitting here with Annie in his arms he finally feels like spring is coming and he's stepping out into the sun.
"Annie, you're the most important person in the world to me. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I think…no, I know, that I love you and that I'll always love you."
Annie lets out a soft gasp at Jeff's words and her face lights up. She unlatches her fingers and wraps her arms around Jeff's neck, burying her face against his cheek.
"I never thought I'd get to hear you say that," she murmurs. "I've wanted to hear it for so long."
He raises a hand to her face and turns her back towards him, kissing her again. This time she responds eagerly and doesn't draw back.
Jeff feels like he's on fire. Sheer exhilaration is coursing through his veins at the knowledge that he's finally told her how he feels and knowing that she feels…hang on.
It's Jeff's turn to pull away. "You haven't told me whether you feel the same."
"Seriously?" Annie asks. Her lips are swollen from their kisses and there's a hint of colour high on her cheeks. "You really need me to spell out for you how I feel?"
"It'd be nice. And only fair considering I just poured my heart out in an incredibly meaningful way."
She rolls her eyes playfully. "Jeff, you know how I feel. I think I've loved you since you stood up for me against Simmons at the debate that time. You were the first person to be on my side in a long time and that meant a lot to me."
"Debate, hey? I thought the pool match would have been the turning point." Jeff teases.
Annie blushes bright red at the memory of Jeff playing against Coach Bogner. "You're just fishing for compliments now."
"Well unless you can think of a better way to pass the time until we're rescued, you showering me with compliments - or as I like to refer to them, facts - wouldn't be so bad."
Annie giggles and draws his face back to hers. Kissing Annie is the best feeling in the world and Jeff forgets that they're lost in the forest and that his leg is broken. That is, until Annie shifts so that she's straddling him and grinds her hips against his pelvis.
"Jesus!" he gasps against her mouth. His hips thrust up involuntarily against her and he knocks his injured leg against a rock.
He swears loudly as the pain shoots through his leg and Annie quickly jumps up.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Jeff! Are you okay?" She's wringing her hands in guilt as Jeff grits his teeth against the pain. "I really wish I had something I could give you to take the edge off, even some alcohol would do."
Suddenly Jeff remembers that he always carries a small flask of scotch in his backpack for really boring classes or when he needs a quick nip to be able to put up with Pierce.
"My backpack," he grunts, "check my backpack."
Annie scurries over to where she'd tossed Jeff's backpack after sliding down the hill and rifles through it. As she does, a flash catches her eye from the nearby bushes.
"Jeff! Your phone's here. And it looks like it's still working." She quickly brings the phone and flask over to Jeff. He unscrews the flask lid and takes a swig of scotch, relishing the familiar warmth that flows down through his body.
"I think I can get a couple of bars reception if I hold it up here," Annie says as Jeff continues to sip at the flask. "I'm going to try and send a message."
"Just not to the Dean, ok?" Jeff manages to say. "I really couldn't deal with him carrying me out over his shoulder."
The wait is agonising, particularly as Annie refuses to return to his lap in case he hurts his leg even further. Jeff tries to tell her that he can't really feel anything after drinking most of his flask of scotch, but Annie remains unmoved.
Eventually though, they hear voices calling their names and Annie bursts into happy tears as she sees a group of their classmates looking down over the ridge, led by Troy and Abed.
Within an hour Jeff's being treated in a hospital and Annie is recounting the story to the rest of the study group, minus a few pertinent details that she wants to keep close for a little while longer.
After an agonising wait, they're allowed to see Jeff and the group can't help but notice how Annie's face glows when she sees that he's ok, or how Jeff grins like an idiot when Annie perches up on the bed beside him.
"I can go home tomorrow." He explains. "I'll have the cast on for about six weeks, but I'm pretty certain it's a look I can pull off."
Shirley immediately promises to deliver meals and Troy and Abed promise to bring over DVDs from their small collection that is approved for borrowing by a select group of people. Pierce offers Jeff the use of his electric wheelchair and Britta announces that she'll bring over her cat to visit because she's heard that pets can be soothing to people that are sick.
Jeff barely hears any of this as Annie quietly whispers that she'll be over to perform sponge baths. Luckily the rest of the group are too busy arguing amongst themselves about who has to drive Jeff to and from Greendale each day.
Shirley eventually ushers them all out when Jeff's eyelids start to grow heavy. Annie walks out with Troy and Abed, who are excitedly planning a movie night in honour of Jeff and Annie's brush with the wild.
"We have to start with Alive." Abed announces. Troy nods in agreement.
"Guys?" Annie stops walking and the boys turn around to look at her. "I forgot…something… in Jeff's room."
"Well let's go back so you can get it."
"No, Abed, it's okay. You two keep heading out and I'll meet you by the front entrance. I'll just be a minute."
She hurries back along the hallways and lightly taps on Jeff's door. He's laying back with his eyes half shut, but he smiles warmly when she slips into the room and over to his bedside.
"I just had to come back and do this." She whispers, leaning over to gently kiss him. He tries to deepen the kiss but Annie pulls back.
"No way, Daniel Day…Lewis. We obviously can't do anything while you're wearing that cast so we should keep this strictly PG-13." Annie announces.
"But you promised me sponge baths!"
"Only on a professional basis, mister."
Jeff chuckles. Annie's got a lot to learn and for once he might actually be able to teach her something.
The End.