Jacob POV
10 Things that will not happen in breaking dawn
Edward dies his hair blue and becomes a hippy
He then joins a hippy club and falls in love with their mascot: hippy dawg!
Bella finds out this and commits suicide by eating herself piece by piece.
Esme blames Carlisle for this and leaves him to become a whore for the queen.
The queen does it with Esme and finds out she is a lesbian
She tell the whole country and her parents roll in their grave.
The queen has Esmes's babies and they have lil' royal vamp babies.
The royal vamp babies kill one of their mums, the queen and take over the country.
They make everyone eat bird droppings for 6 meals a day and everyone dies.
they take their dead army across the world and scare people with the dead people's pong