Scones
By MarqueeMoonGirl
---
On a grey morning, 2D woke up and glanced at his alarm clock. 'Only 6 AM? No one's gonna be up yet.' Yawning, he rolled over underneath his purple blanket to go back to sleep.
In mid-yawn, the singer stopped and shut his mouth. He could faintly smell something baked wafting in from underneath his door. 'Scones? Wot ?' His stomach gave a very displeased growl, reminding 2D that he hadn't had anything to eat since lunch the day before.
Giving in to his hunger, he quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt over his y-fronts and went up the lift. Unsurprisingly, the aroma of freshly made scones seemed to be coming from the kitchen.
"'ello?" He asked, opening the door. On top of a counter was a large mixing bowl, a spoon, and a can of shortening. The counter and most of the surrounding area was covered in white flour, the bag lying nearly-empty on its side.
There was a thudding noise, a muffled Spainsh swear, and the sound of someone dropping something metal on the floor. "¡Mierda!"
"Murdoc?" 2D asked curiously. "What're you doing?"
Slowly, a scowling Murdoc stood up from behind the small island in the center of the kitchen, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. "Sod off, 2D." He growled.
The threat would've been more effective had the singer actually been listening to Murdoc instead of staring at him like he was now. Clutched in the bassist's other hand was a metal baking sheet "Er. Are you...bakin' somftin', Murdoc?"
Murdoc's eyes bugged out in horror when he saw the baking sheet, and he stiffly hid it behind his back. "Erm. No. Don't be daft, man. Now get the fuck out 'fore I toss you out on your arse."
"But I'm hungry, Murdoc." 2D said. "I just woke up." He glanced inside the mixing bowl in front of the demon bassist. "Oooh. Is that dough? Can I lick the bowl?" He asked eagerly. "Can I?"
The singer's finger was about a centimeter away from the dough when Murdoc wisked the bowl away, the baking sheet once again hitting the ground. "Nonono, I haven't put the bakin' powder in that batch yet!"
2D grinned smugly as the bassist realized what he'd just said out loud. "Fuck."
The singer patted his back. "I never knew you could cook, Murdoc." 2D said. He sniffed the air. "And actually, whatever's in the oven smells pretty good. Mind if I have a look?" Not waiting for an answer, he opened the oven door.
Behind the singer and too far away to stop him in time, Murdoc's face visibly paled to a very light shade of greenish-yellow.
The singer's head and shoulders quivered for a second, and then he turned away from the oven, laughing hysterically. "The scones are shaped like little swans!" 2D choked out between fits of laughter. "Little swan scones!"
For once, the bassist was at a loss for words.
Still laughing, 2D looked at him, near tears. "You're a regular Martha Stewart, aren't you Muds?"
Murdoc's cheeks flushed red, the bassist watching the bad boy image he'd worked so hard to attain vanish like it had never existed in the first place. "Shut up." 2D just laughed harder as a well-hidden timer dinged and Murdoc pulled the scones out of the oven.
"Look, are you hungry or aren't ya?" Murdoc poked the singer's ribs with a rolling pin. "Don't make me hurt ya, man."
Grinning widely, 2D reached for one of the cooling scones. "Don't we have any jam, Miss Niccals?"
With a low growl, Murdoc reached into the cupboard and then chucked the glass bottle of raspberry jam at the singer's head. The bottle collided with his head and shattered once it hit the ground. 2D's black eyes rolled back as unconsciousness took him and the tall man fell over with a loud thud, taking the pan of scones down with him. "Little fucker."
Russel, who had sprinted down from his room to the kitchen once the banging and breaking noises began, now was standing in the doorway, still dressed in his nightshirt. Silently, he surveyed the carnage. "What the hell have you two been up to?"
His devious little mind racing, Murdoc smirked and said, "The dullard was makin' scones." From the floor, 2D groaned. The bassist gave him a little kick. "Isn't that right, 'D?"
2D groggily sat up. "Wot?"
"You woke up early to make scones, didn't ya?" Murdoc said, leering at the singer.
Understanding at last what Murdoc was trying to do, 2D violently shook his head. "No, I wasn't!" He pointed a long finger at the bassist. "Murdoc…he was the one makin' the scones!"
Murdoc rolled his eyes and snorted. "Yeah, right. Like I can cook. And even if I did want to make scones for some bizarre reason, do'ya think," he bent down and picked one of the discarded scones off the floor, "that I'd make 'em in the shape of cutesy-wutesy little swans? Christ. That's about as saccharine as you can fuckin' get, man."
The corners of Russel's mouth quirked upwards into a small smile, then he slapped the skinny singer on the back. "Nice try, 'D. Could've picked someone better to pin the blame on, though. "
"B-b-but…" 2D stuttered. "He did make them."
Watching the exchange between 2D and Russel, Murdoc just smiled and bit into one of the scones. He looked thoughtful as he chewed. "Not bad, 2D. A little dry, perhaps."
2D yelled in frustration. "You were the one who made it!"
"Oh, relax 'D. We won't tease you about it." Murdoc grinned again. "Too much."
END
MarqueeMoonGirl SEZ: I got 'Slow Boat To Hades' a few days ago. It's got the complete Webbys interview as a hidden extra, where Murdoc says that, instead of New York, he and 2D meant to go to Canada. 2D then says they're going to open up a scone shop up there, and Murdoc interrupts, saying 'We're gonna make swan-shaped scones!" Then they both laugh hysterically. Murdoc making little swan scones? This was just too good an idea to pass up, so I tweaked it a little to fit in within the Gorillaz canon.
Oh, and please leave a review. I like reviews, oh yes I do..