Phil woke up in his cheery room, the bleak sun dripping into his room. He got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, where he began making his cereal.

It was another fall day in London, and Phil had planned to make a challenge video with Dan.

He sat down with his bowl and turned on the television. It wasn't long until his friend joined him. Dan walked in with a yawn, before greeting him with a, "mornin'."

For some odd reason, Phil got this sense of butterflies in his stomach. He tried to reply casually, as he did effortlessly every morning, but today, he choked on his words.

"Did you not get enough sleep? Can't process your words or something?" His flatmate questioned.

"Well…uh, I mean, we never get enough sleep, anyways." Phil shrugged, secretly feeling very relieved that he got a sentence out correctly.

Why do I feel this way?

Dan walked over and sat beside him, with a bowl of cereal in his hands. "Oh yeah, the next box of cereal is on you. Payback for you eating MY whole box!" Dan teased.

Phil remained silent, zoning in and out of reality. Every single time he looked or heard Dan talk, it was fascinating. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized how often he thought of this. It wasn't just today that he had butterflies, it was also yesterday, and the day before, and the day before. He'd always felt this way, but only now was it recognizable to Phil.

"Hey, don't take it seriously! I was just kidding around," Dan put his hand on Phil's shoulder, staring directly into his eyes. The blue-eyed boy became isolated, and felt his forehead get hot.

"Um, hello? Phil? Are you even on this planet anymore? Have the aliens abducted your soul in your sleep?"

"Oh, s-sorry! I just have something on my mind," Phil sighed.

"That's fine. Do you wanna talk about it?" He offered.

Phil itched his neck, awkwardly, before shaking his head, "Not now."

The two boys usually sat on the couch together in the morning to watch some anime, or re-watch Buffy for the billionth time, but Phil couldn't stand being around Dan anymore. He slunk away to his room and curled up on his bed.

"Phil!" Dan's muffled voice called from the opposite side of his closed door.

"Yeah?"

"I'll be out for a while, Cat wanted a shoot a video with us later, but I wanted to see if you were up for it?"

Phil closed his eyes, he didn't want to see anyone right now. He needed a couple hours to sort out his odd feelings. "Uhm, you can go by yourself if you want, I know we haven't seen her in while. I don't feel so good, so I think I'll stay."

"You need anything from the store before I go?" Worry could be easily detected in the boy's voice.

Phil smiled, "No, I'll be fine. Thanks, though. Have fun."

"Okay, hope you feel better! See you!" Dan left, and shortly after his footsteps faded away, Phil heard the door shut.

It took him hours of thinking. Constantly moving around his room, finding different sitting positions, until the cold, hard, obvious truth lit up in his mind. He liked Dan, in a different way. It was totally obvious, and that was the one thing he was afraid of. Loving someone he knew he couldn't have.

This answer kept him still for another hour. Laying on his back, on his carpeted floor, staring up at the ceiling. For one full hour. He didn't want this answer to be true. He didn't want to love Dan in that way, but he did. There was no way to turn himself away from that bubbly feeling inside his belly.

After overthinking stuff, he reached over for his phone and opened Twitter. Dan was posting pictures of him and Cat. An odd amount of them. One after another. Phil was confused, Dan didn't usually post so much in one time. He ignored it and slowly pulled himself up. He shut his curtains, making the room dark, and he crawled into his bedsheets, trying so hard to fall asleep.

"Phil! Phil, Phil, Phil! Guess what?!" Dan barged into Phil's room, jumping onto his bed with a camera in his hand.

He rubbed his eyes, blinking them open slowly, seeing his friend looming over him. Phil stared deeply into his beautiful brown eyes, and his soft hair that he longed to have between his fingers.

"What?" He questioned softly.

"Okay, so Cat and I went out for lunch, and….and we kinda, confessed to each other! You know, I liked her, and she likes me! I guess we're an 'item' now," he chuckled to himself.

Phil's heart beat so fast, that he literally felt it shatter in his chest. He forced a smile upon himself, "That's great! H-how come you never told me you liked her?"

"I don't know, I just realized today that I've felt this way about her for a while!"

I wish I could say the same.

"Oh, well, that's really great for you-" He broke out mocking a cough attack, and grabbed the tissue box on his dresser, "Sorry, I think I have a cold. Maybe you should come back later, I don't want you to get sick."

"C'mon, Phil. Do you really think I care about getting sick?"

He stayed silent.

"Okay, I guess you need some rest. I'll leave you to it, then."

Phil rolled onto his side, grabbing the sheets and pulling them over his lips. He felt warm tears rolling down his cheek. Why did this happen to him? He couldn't do it. He can't live around someone that he loves, who's going to grow out of him and move away with someone else. He's going to watch Dan leave him for someone else. Just thinking about that made his heart ache.

But there was nothing he could do about it.