Warnings: This could get super dark late in the fanfiction. And there is a 90% chance that this will end with Sebastian dying.

For those that read 'Eat Your Words', the characterisation of the same characters here are a little different. Hope it's interesting though. I know it says no pairing decided yet, and from the looks of this chapter, it's like it's going into a Sebofsky angle, but that's mostly for characterisation. Because nicer Sebastian doesn't know how to say no to Dave, so that's mostly why it's going that way. There's a huge chance that there's going to split, and it's not like it's going to be Sebofsky heavy (at least that's not the plan, unless other people think it should be).

There is really two major planned parts so far. Most of the first part is pre-diagnosis and it's going to be Sebastian building relationships with people.

Summary: AU after "On My Way." Kurt and Blaine are more than surprised to see Sebastian really attempt at being nice. His supportive parents feel relieved that Sebastian has gone off his rebellious phase. The Warblers become close friends with their semi-decent captain. Nobody thought it was suspicious… not until Sebastian has a seizure. Apparently, brain tumours could change your personality? No pairing decided yet.

The Curse of Miracles

Chapter One: Seeing Dave in the Hospital

Sebastian Smythe rolled the sleeve of his honey-coloured plaid shirt up, and then leaned back against an old hospital chair that was currently giving him a mini prostate exam (kind of a bonus. What? He was a gay. He liked things that poked at his prostate). Sebastian couldn't wait until he was eighty and had a huge prostate. He bet getting fucked would be amazing. He'd trade a good orgasm for the ability to take a piss. Plus, didn't you orgasm better with a full bladder? Come on.

"Earth to Sebastian?" Dave Karofsky, the guy that he was visiting for the past week, tried to take him out of his trance.

Sebastian was busy trying to imagine having a prostate exam by a Puerto Rican doctor that spoke with a heavy accent. He was only bought back to reality with Dave's husky laugh penetrated (ha, he wished) the room and probably caused an earthquake. Sebastian could feel his chair vibrating, which was not helping him, or his overactive imagination.

"What kind of sick fuck gets a boner in a hospital?" Dave Karofsky asked. Normal people would start blushing when their hard dicks started straining against their pants, but Sebastian had a big dick. He was proud of showing off. "Seriously? Is your mom proud of her little ickle Sebastian getting off in the room of the guy that tried to kill himself?"

"Hey!" Sebastian just crossed his arms over his chest. "I didn't get laid this week, okay?" he explained. "Sue me."

"This week?" Dave asked him incredulously. "A week is all you need to start wanting to hump yourself against a chair?"

Sebastian just rolled his eyes. He hadn't gone a week without sleeping with someone since he'd started actively having sex when he was fourteen. His mom had to drive him to the STD clinic at fifteen. Which he probably shouldn't tell the bear cub in case he'd faint. Sebastian didn't feel like lifting two-hundred pounds of grizzly with his lacrosse sticks. Especially not when he was really trying to fight this pulsating boner that almost took his mind off the fact that he could still smell Kurt Hummel's girly guy cologne from last week. If he closed his eyes long enough, he could still hear the horrific click-clock of his size baby goose feet. Gag. It was like a gay stereotype solidified into a person. He'd say fuck him, but the idea made Sebastian reel because he might as well be banging pussy if he was going to slide into bed with the princess.

"It's a good chair," Sebastian tried to argue, leaning back against it. "It's not my fault you can't help but check me out."

Dave was just smiling at him. "You know… you were cute before I realised how much of an arrogant asshole you are."

Sebastian smirked, beaming at Dave's pale face. "I'm arrogant?" he feigned a look of shock. "Would an arrogant asshole such as myself be helping you not fail math? Would an arrogant asshole like myself let you use his calculator?" he gestured towards the immense spillage of material around Dave, including Sebastian's cheap calculator that somehow survived three drunk nights out and being thrown into a toilet (yes, Sebastian did fish it out. He couldn't afford another one.)

Dave groaned and then leaned back against his bed. Sebastian thought he was going to (yet again) mention that they should ban math for anyone that was in the hospital for more than three days. The pile of homework sitting beside him was intimidating to Sebastian, and he had a report he had to hand in next week that he was supposed to be working on now. Instead of humping a chair in a guy's hospital room. The guy that he told should stay in the closet.

Yeah, you're right, Dave said a few hours back when they mentioned that. I ain't that good at dressing up.

"This thing makes me want to hang myself," Dave said, rolling his eyes. Sebastian paled. "Oh! Sorry. I forgot."

"You forgot that you tried to hang yourself?" Sebastian mumbled, rubbing his tired green eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

Dave went red in the face, and then cleared his throat. Sebastian had been visiting Dave for a week now, and they were supposed to have discharged him like forty-eight hours after they made sure that he didn't croak. But apparently, he had a weird thing in his heart, so they strung him down with heart leads. Sebastian was pretty sure that Dave's heart just raced whenever he saw him (yeah fucking right, Dave said when Sebastian told him that. I'm not that desperate, horse face).

Sebastian felt Dave reach over and squeeze his arm. "Hey," Dave's voice was as smooth as honey. Fitting since he was a bear cub. "I get it. I was a dick too, remember? I'm not holding anything over you. You are."

"Very philosophical," Sebastian said, but he knew that Dave was right. Of course, there was no way that he could know that. Ever. "Last I checked, the guy you were pushing around didn't try to kill himself and then try to joke about it."

"You were not pushing me around," Dave rolled his eyes. "You didn't wanna go out with me and you were mean to my poor delicate heart by telling me I was a million pounds overweight and that I should stay in the closet. You were so mean that it made me so sad, but like you could push ME around. I'd punch back, princess. I don't know who told you that you were intimidating. Sure, you're taller than most guys, but it don't count if you look like you haven't gone through puberty. Did you ever look at yourself in the mirror? Your hair just screams my-dad-hit-me-as-a-kid-for-spilling-lemonade."

"I said a hundred pounds overweight," Sebastian snorted. "Don't put words in my mouth, Dave. It ain't nice."

"Are you sure I can put anything with all the shit that comes out of it?" Dave asked, and Sebastian was just thinking about what he would prefer to be in his mouth. Obviously, because usually when people thought of his mouth, they didn't think about all the effortless bullshit he could spit out of it. Was Dave even sure that he liked him? "Alright, Smythe, I'm actually going to get into a physical altercation with this book if you don't actually help me with this homework."

Sebastian leaned over Dave's bed and sighed. "You suck at this." Jesus Christ, how could one person be so bad at math?

"Thanks," Dave rolled his eyes. "Do you expect me to find it insulting that you think I'm dumb?"

"I didn't say you were dumb," Sebastian leafed through Dave's homework and cringed. Seriously, how did Dave pass elementary math? How could he be the best at anything when he had his ass whipped by a triangle? "I'll help you."

"But don't start screaming bloody murder like last time," Dave told him.

Yeah, he wanted Sebastian's help, but Dave had to lay down the law and tell Sebastian that he wasn't allowed to tell him that he must've lost all a million brain cells after getting tackled in football.

"You turned nicer," Dave finally thought to tell him. "Did anyone tell you that? Because I thought you were going to tell me off for not knowing this stuff and that if I just stopped day-dreaming about you so much, I'd be able to solve this."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You said it," he picked up one of the Dave's pencils. What happened to mechanical? "Not me."

He sucked at tutoring Dave because he had the worst patience. For some reason, that day, he didn't have to try so hard not to commit a felony. He was able to talk Dave through his algebra problems without nearly choking him to death, which was unusual. Dave was just joking around about him being nicer, but Sebastian was sure that he was nicer. Of course, he didn't say it out loud in case someone thought he was auditioning for a Disney special about the power of friendship.

An hour later, and fifteen questions solved pristinely, Dave looked impressed. Which Sebastian would usually prefer to the other thing that he did with his hands besides getting them calloused from old pencils. Pencil callouses were not hot.

Oh, and yesterday, one of his teachers looked at him suspiciously after he opened the door for her and waited a whole five minutes for her Parkinsonian ass to get inside. He even said that he hoped she felt better. Sebastian was sure the nerd that was already in the room had a stroke when he heard that. Sebastian didn't cut into lines in the cafeteria anymore and it had been two weeks since he bitched at the lunch lady for trying to feed him her gloppy plastic mashed potatoes.

"You are nicer," Dave repeated, after they were done with his homework. "You didn't yell at me once."

"Yeah, well…" Sebastian just shrugged. "This is a really convincing chair." When he said that, Dave just playfully pushed him by the shoulder because Sebastian totally bought that copy of the jock gay guy code when he joined the lacrosse team.

Dave feigned a look of pain. "Am I not a convincing enough reason to be nice? I thought you cared about my feelings."

"You're not convincing for shit. You're stuck in the third fucking grade," Sebastian snorted and then in the most annoying, almost Hummel-esque pitch voice, he said, "Mom, Sebastian is so mean to me but I'm glad that he still helps me with my math homework because OBVIOUSLY, I lost all my brain cells playing football. By the way, lacrosse is so much better because they don't purposefully look for attackers that are over two hundred fucking pounds. You get way less shoulder dislocations!"

"I take that back about you being nicer," Dave rolled his eyes. "And hey, if I'm your proverbial bear cub, you should really consider pouring a little something sweet on me." Sebastian mock-gagged and Dave snorted. "Yeah right."

"I don't jump guys that are connected to a heart monitor," Sebastian just said, smirking. "Sorry."

"What about when I get discharged?" Sebastian didn't expect Dave to say that. Now, he was stuck in a weird situation where he couldn't say no because that would mean that he was the biggest asshole on the planet, and he couldn't exactly say yes just because he didn't want to hurt his feelings. Where did Dave get the confidence to ask after the first time? "I don't want to take away from your ritualistic hourly ass pampering, but what do you say about dinner?"

"Depends," Sebastian folded his hand on Dave's. "Can we split the bill without you busting out a calculator?"

Their face was just inches away from each other and Sebastian almost felt nervous, because he obviously didn't usually get asked by a guy that almost died just a few days ago. Should Dave be dating right now, or did he need like… therapy to cope with the whole 'I guess I came out as gay' thing? But it was just a date, you know? It wasn't like they were getting married. Besides, Sebastian felt a little flattered—and hotter than molten lava cake. Come on. You'd feel like hot shit too if you just got asked out by a guy that almost killed himself because of something you said. That meant that Dave must really like him. So, Sebastian had to do something he never did, you know, just so that Dave knew that they were on the same page.

"I guess that you can come pick me up at my place," Sebastian said quickly, before he lost his nerve. Yeah. Place. Because it wasn't a house. He lived in a shoebox apartment. But he couldn't tell Dave that yet. No way.

"You don't live in Dalton?" Dave sounded a little surprised. "I thought you like originally lived in France?"

"Yeah, I just fly over from France every time I feel like wasting my time listening to my ninety-year-old biology teacher talk about how he has carpel tunnel from all the fucking papers he had to grade," Sebastian rolled his eyes. Suddenly, he wanted to retract his offer. If he was surprised that Sebastian didn't have a dorm, he'd love seeing his mom yell at him for not even attempting to take the stain out of her pan. The fucking thing said it was stainless steel.

"I mean… I thought you lived in a dorm," Dave just shrugged. "How long have your parents been living here in Ohio? Do they need help with adjusting to a new place while still trying to take care of the world's brattiest sixteen-year-old?"

Sebastian went red. "Um… yeah, about that…" he began, "They have been in Ohio for a while. Like fifteen years a while."

"Seriously?" Dave went white, and then he burst into laughter. The kind of laughter where he sent spit flying everywhere and it was kind of gross. Sebastian was not that funny. "So much for the French guy that lived his whole life in Ohio!"

"Hold up your horses there, big guy," Sebastian explained. Sure. He fibbed a little about when he left France, but that didn't mean that he lied about being French. "My parents could still fucking map the whole country out like they just left it yesterday because they'd been living in France since before dinosaurs started roaming around. But I obviously don't remember anything about the place. Cause, you know, I didn't do much sight-seeing at six months."

Sebastian really did drink expensive French wine it like mother's milk, because his mom used to drink a lot when she lived there, and she breast-fed him. So gross. The only time he'd ever be anywhere near a chick's tits. It made him wonder if that was aversion therapy. But hey, it was hard not to love the liquor when your mom conditioned your palate to three-hundred bottle wines. Yeah… his parents used to be classy, you know, before his mom's uterus died after delivering six babies.

Speaking of moms… "Hey, Dave? I didn't see your mom come visit you?" Sebastian mentioned. "Is she not around?"

Dave looked surprised that Sebastian bought this up. "Yeah," he said. "She's still alive. She just doesn't care."

Sebastian nodded his head and felt his throat ache a little bit. "Sorry," he said, and he weirdly enough meant it. Because he couldn't imagine how it was like to have a mom that didn't drag your weary ass from bed at six in the morning, gave you black coffee, chided you for sleeping at two am and at the same time, asked you if you wanted pancakes for breakfast.

"It's okay," Dave nodded his head, and then cleared his throat. "Shouldn't you be heading home?"

Sebastian looked at the clock. If he left now, he'd have maximal jacking off time at home after he finished his million reports. "Yeah," he cleared his throat. When he got up from where he was sitting, he looked back at Dave, feeling his throat swell a little bit. Was he nervous? Seriously pathetic, because he was asking this guy a question, not giving a fucking presentation. "Hey, big guy? When you come to my house, can you not tell my parents you want to suck face with me?"

Wait, were they actually going to suck face? Sebastian sort of just assumed.

"Seriously? What's up with that?" Dave looked offended. "Are you like ashamed of bringing home the prize hog? You want to make sure your parents know you're not going to get tapeworm from making out with me?"

"Ha ha, you're so funny," Sebastian rolled his eyes, and then felt a little jittery from where he stood. Sebastian wished he knew how to tell Dave that he looked fine, but he didn't know how to say that after the whole hundred pounds and waxing eyebrows comment, you know? "No. Look…I've never bought a guy home exactly."

You'd be the first was the obvious translation. "Really?" Dave's voice was soft. "So… why me?"

"I guess I want to try something new that's all," Sebastian didn't want to give Dave this vibe that he liked him nearly as much. "I feel like I got to change. I owe you that much, you know? And I owe it to me too. I know it's a big ask. It's not like we're going out. I just thought that maybe this'll be a little different, you got me?" Sebastian never had been upfront with a lot of people before about stuff like this. He hoped that it wasn't going to blow up on his face because he didn't feel like dumping a guy that had already memorised his coffee order. "But you don't have to come."

"Oh. Sure, man. I just didn't… I didn't expect this," Dave's face softened. "Drive safe, okay?" Sebastian nodded and left.

On the day that Dave was going to be discharged, Sebastian was going to ask his mom to make honey cake.