I Bruise Easily, a casualty fanfic

The long never ending day following the sleepless nights. Returning from work, I dreaded the return back home, my territory which I now knew would give me nightmares. Watching people pass along the pavement as I sat in the car in complete gridlock in the hustle and bustle of the town. No-one knew. And with my determination, they wouldn't find out. Smoothly turning the wheel as I reached the suburbs of Holby, my eyes caught the sight of home that belonged to my husband and I. Trying so hard to hold back the tears that I refused to shed since that night. His car resided in the drive beside an empty space, where I soon parked mine. He was home. Stepping nervously out of the car, I pulled out the keys to our house. Reluctantly pushing it into the lock, I twisted it, closing my eyes in fear. The door swung open, the sweet aromas signified that he was indeed in the kitchen. From the delicious smell, I could instantly tell that he was cooking one of my favourite dishes. Tempted to follow the smells of Spaghetti Bolognese, I kicked off my heels, leaving them in a neat line with the rest of the shoes which resided by the front door. I slowly made my way into the lounge, leaving my bag on the table behind the couch as I slumped onto it. Closing my eyes, my mind slipped into the past. That eventful night, the night that changed my marriage forever.

The new "super" Darwin ward. Everything was a little wobbly to begin with, but I was sure things were to improve. Not only for the hospital's reputation as a centre of cardiothoracic excellence, but for the patients who were to be treated. Striding across my newly refurbished territory, I made my way to the office, closing the door behind me. Letting a sigh of relief as I looked at the clock on the back wall by my desk, I then decided to call it an early day. It was only six, but I felt that everything that I'd planned for the day was successfully accomplished. Michael had had the day off at home relaxing, I felt the need to spend some quality time with him, for we rarely had time recently. Shutting down the computer for the day, I picked up my belongings and made my way to the car outside. The weather had kept itself under control; the clouds were slowly building up into dark smog covering the light blue skies.

Approaching the house, I pulled up onto the drive, making the gravel splash out as the tyres of the car delved into it. Opening the door, I wondered what he had got himself up to. A lazy day in front of the television didn't seem to be his cup of tea. As I entered the silent hallway, I realised he wasn't downstairs. It was like I had entered a derelict house, no signs of life existed. I led myself through the usual ritual of kicking off my shoes and then removing my coat, before making my way quietly up the stairs. Almost certain he decided to have a late afternoon siesta, noticing the bedroom door was closed confirmed my assumptions. Feeling that I should make an appearance to him, before embarking on an attempt to cook him a meal, my fingers curled themselves on the door handle, before pushing it down to open it. The sight that lay before my eyes was enough to make anyone cringe. I didn't know what to say, what to do let alone what to feel.

He lay there in complete shock, as he was already facing me, with a familiar blonde with her back to me. Her hair had been pulled out of the usual bun I was used to. Ruffled about by the obvious activity that had occurred in my absence, my mind clicked to who the identity of my husband's mysterious blonde. Unable to believe that he had got his leg over the hospital bike, anger raged across my face. Feeling the heat boiling through my veins, his face turned from a face of pleasure to a face of shame. I remained standing by the door, completely unnoticed to the female that resided on my side of the bed. It was obvious he couldn't find the right words to say. He wasn't expecting me to be back for another couple of hours. He watched my in complete humiliation, for no man wanted his affairs with other women to be interrupted by his own wife. "Connie." The single word from him made the blonde's heart skip a beat, her head turned around, her eyes meeting mine. Not a single look of remorse. Just embarrassment. She pulled the white sheet over her, not that nothing that was showing was what I had seen already. She reached for her clothes that lay in an untidy pile by the post of the bed on the floor. Pulling the sheet with her, leaving him underneath another sheet, she picked up the rest of her clothes, slipping past me, without a word. Not even an apology.

After hearing the front door slam a few minutes later, he began to pour out with all the excuses that anyone would think of, if they were in the same situation. "Connie, it's not what you think…" was the first words he spoke. What else could it be apart from having an affair? All I did was stare at him, in complete astonishment that he could say such a thing. Totally hurt by his actions, our argument continued until I could take no more. Grabbing my bag on the way out, I didn't look back as he tried to chase me, begging me to come back. Driving away seemed the best idea at the time. I drove back to the hospital, spending a restless night on the couch, thinking about nothing except the atrocious visions of my husband with another woman.

My skin is like a map, of where my heart has been
And I can't hide the marks, but it's not a negative thing

My senses were awoken by his appearance before my knees. I had slowly drifted into a light slumber for about half an hour, due to the complete lack of sleep for the past few days. I returned home the following night, finding the house empty and a note from him telling me he had gone to get a few days away from it all, just to sort his own head out. And now he had returned. His head may be sorted out, but mine still remained in complete shambles. His eyes gazed into mine, I could see he was truly sorry about everything he had done wrong, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to forgive him. He took my hands into his, as I attempted to look away. He used a hand to turn my face back towards him, before cupping my cheek gently. He smiled falsely, failing to grab any of my attention.

"Connie…talk to me" he began, holding my hands tightly. I knew he wanted me back; there was no way he'd ask Chrissie Williams to see him again, especially after I'd walked in on them in the act. Loneliness was what he was starting to experience. I was the only woman in his life that he knew loved him, but he knew it'd take more than a verbal apology for me to forgive him. It would take the rest of what's left of our marriage to mend the hole that had been made in my life. My heart. My reputation. No-one knew about any of this at the moment, but sooner or later, someone would discover what has happened and I would be the talk of the hospital. The complete humiliation. His face was the same as it was that night when I opened the bedroom door. A face of shame. Ashamed at himself that he slept with another woman whilst being a family man. Ashamed that he was found out. Ashamed that he was found out by me, his own wife. "Please…" he continued, still on his knees, just like when he proposed to me in the high class restaurant. Romantic at the time, but right now it resembled nothing of the sort.

So I let down my guard, drop my defences, down by my clothes
I'm learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow

"Why?" I finally replied. He looked up at me, still holding my hands. He stroked my cheek, I turned away, telling him to stop his attempts to seduce me. He pulled his hand away and released my hands from his grip. Getting up from the floor, he sat beside me, still trying to retain eye contact, but I refused. Unable to face him right at this moment in time, he continued, "I want to know how you feel…I'm sorry"

"How can you not know how I feel?" I looked up at him, the tears threatening to flow. He knew I was right and he knew exactly how I felt. My love for him was shattered the moment my eyes set eyes on him sleeping with another woman. "Not as sorry as I am." I continued before getting up from the sofa, and heading anywhere where he wasn't. His presence had begun to disgust me, every time I set eyes on him, I could only visualise him having sex with the hospital bike.

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree

I moved into the kitchen, catching sight of the scrumptious spaghetti presented on the table. Wisps of steam could be seen emerging from the food, signifying the freshness. I passed the table, standing at the kitchen sink, looking out onto the beautiful garden. Still light outside, I could see the colourful flowers decorating the garden. He trailed in a few minutes later, still full of remorse for his wrong doing. He approached me slowly, I watched him through the reflection on the window. His arms slid around my small waist. His warmth bringing life back to my back, crippled from the sleepless nights on the sofa in the office. He began to kiss my neck softly. I pushed his head away from me, allowing him to still hold me down below. "I'm not asking you to forgive me…" he explained. I turned around, his arms still around me. My fingers travelled up his chest, getting used to stroking it again.

I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

A slight smile appeared across his face as I did so, one of his hands lifting my chin up, so that I looked into his eyes. His sparkling blue eyes were enough to charm anyone. Was this what Chrissie saw in him? I wasn't to know, but from now on, I doubt she would want to set within 3 feet of him ever again, unless it was necessary on professional terms. One of his fingers brushed against my cheek softly. I continued to look sternly at him, knowing he knew I wasn't ready to say anything on the matter. He glanced over at the dining table on the other end of the open plan kitchen. "Hungry?" he asked. I nodded, before he led me to the table, pulling out a chair for me to sit on. He served me some pasta, spooning spoonfuls of Bolognese sauce on top of the small portion, before placing it before my eyes. He smiled as he retrieved a bottle of wine, opening it and pouring two glasses, handing me one of them.

I found your finger prints on a glass of wine
Do you know your leaving them all over this heart of mine too
If I never take this leap of faith I'll never know
So I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow

I soon cleared the plate, my stomach filled for the first time for a week. I had been gone for days without a decent meal and I was surprised he didn't notice my figure hadn't changed in his eyes. He finished his plate too, before watching me through his wine glass as I downed the whole glass. He filled up my glass yet again, only for me to empty it again. As I placed the glass back onto the table, I got up, without a single word. I headed up the stairs, as he picked up the dishes, stained with tomato sauce and the odd bit of mince from the Bolognese. I approached the bathroom, once inside, I ran a bath for myself, in an attempt to wash the thoughts away. As bubbles were created on the surface of the warm water than ran into the bath, I undressed myself, leaving the clothes that I had worn on a chair that resided by the door. Stepping in, my muscles released the tension I had built up over the past few days. I leant back, closing my eyes, thinking of nothing but dreams of the future and what I wanted in my life.

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

After a quarter of an hour, I pulled myself up, wrapping a white fluffy towel around and picking up the clothes, before heading into the bedroom. I turned on the bedside lamps, the one closest to me, illuminating the space where another woman once lay. I opened the chest of drawers nearby, pulling out a cotton nightie. Removing the towel, before throwing it on the bed, I pulled the nightie over myself. Hiding the curvaceous figure he once knew, he reappeared behind me. Spotting him in the reflection in the mirror, I cleared the bed, throwing the garments of clothes and towel into the laundry basket. Looking back at him, he smiled reassuringly. He then disappeared momentarily, returning a few minutes later. He undressed himself simply down to a pair of boxers. I lay myself lightly onto the bed, as he slipped beside me. We both lay there for a few moments, until his hand found its way to my hands, his fingers trailing up my arm, teasing me.

Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
Anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you

It was soon to turn into something else, as he shuffled closer to me. Turning my head to face his, I leant closer to him. We kissed softly. We pulled away slightly. We paused for a moment. Before either of us knew it, we were over each other again. Rekindling our passion. Rekindling the lust for each other. He may have been unfaithful, but we still had that spark in our marriage. His hands roamed my body, caressing every inch of skin possible. My hands trailed up his spine, sending shivers down it. He pulled the nightie over my head, his eyes set upon my torso. I closed my eyes in delight as he slowly caressed my breasts, kissing down my chest and down to my lower abdomen. He kissed around my navel, the skin tingling at his touch.

So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle

He travelled lower, down to the warmth below. His warm tongue delved into me, causing me to moan deeply with lust. Alternating between quick flicks and generous sweeps, he continued by swallowing every drop as I came. Clawing at the sheets as he refused to stop, I cried out in pure ecstasy as his tongue reached in deeper within me. The feeling hadn't been experienced in a long time, but he knew how to make it appear every single time. He travelled back up me, before meeting my lips once more, letting myself savour my sweet flavours.

He still lay beside me, as we continued to reacquaint with each other, showing each other our real feelings that we had hidden. I pulled him on top of me, as he began kissing at my neck. The pleasure was inevitable. As he slid into me, he couldn't show anymore of the lust he had already given me. As his thrusts got more frequent and stronger, the more my nails dug into his back, causing him to yell in pain. He eventually slowed down, then following my shrieks of pure pleasure as I came again. When he finally stopped, he collapsed in utter exhaustion beside me. Pulling a sheet over the pair of us, I rested my head on his chest, as if it were a cushion, so soft as it soothed me into a light slumber.

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I woke up several hours later, just about recovered from the events earlier. He was still asleep, as I looked on. I kissed him on the fore head, causing him to stir from his gentle sleep. He glanced up wearily at me, smiling as he saw my face. He had run out of energy completely, but he knew that both he and I had thoroughly enjoyed the immense amount of pleasure. With just about enough energy left within himself, he pulled me closer to him, holding me in the passionate embrace that I always appreciated. Kissing each other again just the once, we lay in each other's arms, as the moonlight shone onto the bed and our naked bodies.

I bruise easily
I bruise easily

Making up. The first stage of rebuilding our marriage, and by far the best.