I can do this, I can resist the urges running through me, I can totally be around people and not want to rip their throats out. The bag of crimson liquid came closer to my face, I bit my lip hard as I felt the blood rush into my eyes and my fangs, as I followed the bag with my eyes. Damon Salvatore smiled at me proudly as he moved it farther away and for once in a week, I did not run after it and him.
"Very good Blondie, I'm proud of you." He replied, and I couldn't help but blush and smile at him. Okay, yes he tried to stake me a few weeks ago, and he did all those horrible things to me when I was still human, but he's also the only one who will bother to help me try and control my urges right now. Less than a week on the bunny diet, which was not going so well cause ewww! And Stefan freakin walks away from me saying he has Katherine/Elena problems to deal with. Durr! Like we don't all have them! The crazy bitch killed me to get even with Elena for god sakes!
The scent of blood hits the air and before I realize what I am doing, I am snatching the open bag in his mouth from him and speeding into the living room. A sigh and he's after me, pushing me down onto the sofa, crawling on top of me to wrestle the bag from me and I am not giving it up. Suddenly my hands are pinned above my head on the cushions and I feel his weight on top of me completely and I shiver at the contact and how intimate this has gotten. His eyes go darker for a moment and I am so sure that he is going to kiss me,or bite me...and I'm not sure what would happen if I let him do both. I stare into those dark eyes and I feel myself becoming lost in them yet again. No compulsion this time, something else. An irritated clearing of a throat breaks us out of our moment? I guess it was that, no idea and we look up to see a very irritated Elena and a very confused Stefan standing in front of us. She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at us. "Is this part of the vampire training? Cause it looks more like sex ed to me." I tilt my head at her, biting my tongue. Seriously, you already have a Salvatore, the one standing right next to you, what should you care what it is? Damon grins wickedly at me before insolently staying where he is. "And if it is?" He replies wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at the couple. Stefan has thankfully kept silent. Mortified, I lightly hit him until he climbs off me, sitting up, I run a shaky hand through my tousled blonde hair and stand up and walk with human speed into the kitchen to throw away the now empty blood bag. Of course Elena follows me.
"What the hell was that Caroline?" She asks me putting her hands on her little hips. I stare all wide eyed innocent at her. "What was what? Damon was teaching me control with the blood bag keeping it away from me, I failed, grabbed it, he wrestled me for the bag, he was too late, I landed on the sofa, he fell on top of me, you walked in and got all inquisitional, which by the way, how are you and Stefan doing? You know, YOUR boyfriend?"I spit back at her, my hackles are rising and I don't care, you don't accuse me of something when I've done nothing wrong and expect a meek reply. Not me, not anymore. Her doe eyes widen in hurt and she cocks her hip to the sound looking clearly defensive. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asks me as if she didn't know exactly what it meant. Sighing, a human trait I refuse to give up cause come on! So much can be said with that little annoyed breath, things that I would so get in trouble for. I walk around her and back into the living room and of course, she follows me. I plunk back down on the sofa, closest to Damon, and she sits practically in Stefan's lap and I can tell Damon's hurt by the display, but he doesn't show it much, absently, he's playing with the ends of my hair as we all discuss what to do with the latest Katherine development; we know that she's a bitch and she's up to something, that's about it.
Finally it's time for Stefan and Elena to leave for school, and I am both so jealous and so relieved to watch them go. Damon doesn't think it's such a good idea for me to be going back there just yet, and he's keeping the school officials compelled so I do not fail any classes or am even missed when they take attendance. He promises to teach me how to do better compulsions, but for now I have to get that blood lust under control. I'm almost there, I can feel it, but almost isn't good enough for being out among humans just yet. Including my very human, now ex boyfriend, Matt Donovan, I asked for space so that I could learn to not kill him and he gave me plenty and said we were over. Elena's just relieved that her ex boyfriend and I are no longer seeing one another. I love her and Bonnie like a sister, but I have always been closer to Bonnie. Was, then I died and came back and now life just sucks for now, literally. I must have a look on my face that matches my thoughts because suddenly my head is in his lap and he was stroking my hair gently.
"I know things are rough right now Barbie, but they'll get better, I promise." He whispers to me just before I drift off to sleep.
My dreams are beautiful, I'm out in my favorite yellow sundress sitting on a blanket on the hill where daddy used to take me on picnics before he decided he loved Steven more than us and went away. I can feel the sun on my skin and it feels amazing, I have no fear of burning to a crisp if my daylight ring fails. The sky is the bluest I have ever seen it, not a cloud in the sky, and all my friends are sitting right there next to me. Elena and Bonnie are smiling warmly at me while they drag me up to dance with them. It's exactly how it was between us before I died and before all the supernatural stuff started happening around here. A gentle hand brushes over my face and not evening bother to open my eyes, I kiss the palm lightly and whisper. "Thank you, for that, I needed it."Then I open my eyes, and he's got a genuine smile for once, no smirk or trace of snark. He closes his eyes and shrugs at me, looking down for a moment before those blue eyes are right back staring into mine. "I figured you could do with some happiness for a change."He touches my cheek gently as I get up and stretch, not even caring for once if my hair looks a mess or if my clothes are rumpled. I grin back at him, running a hand over my sleep filled eyes. "You were right, but dream Elena is much preferable to real Elena right now, like what's up with that?"I ask him genuinely curious about what the man who is not so secretly in love with my best friend is thinking about this recent turn of events. He shrugs once again, standing up to pour himself a drink from the crystal brandy decanter on the table by the fire. "No idea, I mean she's all about Stefan this, and Stefan that, but anyone of a female persuasion turns any attention towards me and she gets all possessive, it's actually really annoying right now." He comes back, and I know my mouth is hanging open in shock, speechless for once, but he wordlessly hands me a drink and I take it sipping slowly. It only takes me a few minutes to find what to say before I turn to him. "So what if she comes through that door right now and says 'Stefan and I broke up, I want you,' what would you do?" At first I was just asking because I'm the one that puts things like this out in the open, but I find myself genuinely curious for his answer. He's about to either give me hope or break my heart when Elena runs through the door with tears running down her cheeks. For one instant I am terrified my scenario is about to come true when she looks right at me, completely ignoring Damon.
"Katherine's witch just attacked Bonnie, she's in the hospital!"