Warrior Kitty: *bashes head with baseball bat* How...can...I...forget?!
Yoshi: Uh...what's going on?
Pichu: She had an idea for a chapter with "Life with the Authors". However, being her horrible memory self, she forgot about it and only remembered it just now. So, that's why she's deciding to just turn it into a separate story instead.
Warrior Kitty: *bashes head really and goes unconscious*
Pichu: ...Oh great...
Tails: *walks in* Why am I even here? I'm not a part of Smash Bros.
Pichu: Your appearance will explained in the one-shot.
Yoshi: Why is Warrior Kitty even making this idea a one-shot? Why can't she just save time and make it a chapter in "Life with the Authors"?
Pichu: Because it's right at the end already, so it wouldn't make sense to put this idea at the chapter right then and there. Plus, the story is at a touchy point, so putting this humored chapter will just ruin the atmosphere.
Tails: Actually, it wouldn't make sense to even bother writing this idea out at all. "Life with the Authors" is at it's end. Warrior Kitty and the other four have left the mansion and gone home. So either making this a separate one-shot or just a chapter is irrelevant.
Pichu: ...*takes bat and smashes him with it, knocking him out as well* Well, anyways, we should get started-
Yoshi: You didn't have to knock him-
Pichu: *smashes Yoshi with bat as well* Let's just end this long author's note intro. You readers know what it's about and why it's happening now. So let's get started! Enjoy!
Super Smash Safari
"Did you find it yet Kirby?!" Pichu shouted. Kirby, who was currently sifting through a cardboard box, looked out and faced the pokemon.
"No." He said.
"Man, where the heck is that camera?" Pichu said aloud with narrowed eyes, scanning around the closet. Suddenly, the box moved and Kirby hopped out, holding a camcorder in his hands...stubs...things.
"Found it!" He announced. Pichu smiled and scampered up to him, taking the camcorder. Just then, the closet door opened wider and Yoshi walked in. He spotted his friends and approached them.
"There you guys are! What are you two doing? We have to help think of a way to get the others back to their homes!" The dinosaur said. As he finished his sentence, Tails entered the closet with them. You readers are probably confused as to why the twin-tailed fox is here and who the supposedly "others" that Yoshi mentioned are. So, here's what happened.
(FLASHBACK)
Many things were thrown across the room as Light the Mega Absol looked through a drawer in Snake's, Sonic's, and Mega Man's room. In the corner, Rush was busy chewing on a bone that Light had given him to keep him quiet and Lilac stood by the door to the room, keeping watch outside. "Light, did you find any of them yet?" The buneary asked nervously. "It's only a matter of time before any of them come and out what we're doing."
"Just a minute..." Light responded, throwing out one of Sonic's socks out of his drawer. She sifted through it a little more and pulled out a blue journal with letters on it saying "Sonic's Diary." The mege absol snicked and held on to it, many future evil plans buzzing through head for it. She looked a little more and finally found what it they were looking for. "Ah ha!" She smiled and pulled out a cyan colored Chaos Emerald. "Found one!"
Lilac turned to her with an excited smile and hopped over. "Great! Now all we gotta do is figure out how to use Chaos Control and we can do something else with it like last time." She then paused and put on a questioning look. "So...how Blaze show us how to use Chaos Control that one time?"
Light scratched her head. "Can't remember that much. I think we just have to concentrate the energy or something." Using her words, she closed her eyes and enclosed her paws around the emerald. Concentrating really hard, the Chaos Emerald began to glow brightly. However, she concentrated a little too hard...
Instead of them teleporting away, a portal opened up above the two and Lilac looked up in alarm. "Uh, Light-" She didn't get to finish her sentence when suddenly, Princess Daisy, Sailor Dee and Bandanna Dee, a Zoroark, Tails, Birdo, Ilia and the Ordon kids, and Jeff, Paula, and Poo all fell out of the portal and on top of each other in a piled mess. Apparently instead of teleporting them, Light had brought some characters from the other Nintendo worlds there.
Lilac looked at them with wide eyes while Light was still concentrating with the emerald, not noticing the new arrivers. In the midst of the character mess, Tails blinked open his eyes and looked around in alarm. "W-Where am I?" He asked aloud. He then turned around and met eyes with Lilac, which his eyes only widen in horror. "You again?!"
Just then, Epona fell right out of the portal and on top of the characters, squashing them all painfully. The portal finally disappeared and Light reopened her eyes, looking around excitedly.
"Did it work?" She asked.
(END FLASHBACK)
"Don't worry, Master Hands figuring that out right now." Pichu responded and began to tinker with the camcorder. Yoshi raised an eyebrow...if he had one...and looked at her suspiciously.
"What're you up to?" He asked cautiously.
"I thought up of a brilliant idea." Pichu responded. "Since we know how those five authors act around here, we can make a little documentary and secretly video tape them behaving 'in their natural habitat'. Plus, I just think it'll be hilarious and I need something to do. Since Tails is here, we can use his nerd skills to help us."
Tails scowled at the little pokemon. "Nerd skills?"
"You're a nerd, it's the truth." Pichu said to him bluntly.
"Are you sure about this?" Yoshi asked.
"Why do you sound so worried? We're not planning on pranking, torturing, or blowing up anything. We're just recording Light, Warrior Kitty, Lilac, Mighty, and Frost just doing what they normally do. As much as I hate to admit it, but, this is the most harmless thing I've ever decided to do."
Yoshi thought about what she said and started considering it. "By what you've told me and by what I've experienced here on Valentine's Day, she's right." Tails said to him and gave a small smile. "And I actually kind of agree with her. As weird as it is, this could be interesting." Yoshi looked from Tails, to Pichu, then to Kirby and sighed.
"Alright, we can do it." He said.
Pichu smiled. "Good to hear. Now come on! We have authors to documentize!" Tails turned to the little pokemon and gave her a strange look.
"Uh, documentize isn't a word."
Pichu gave him a blunt look once again. "Nerd."
(Page Break) (Imagine this part of the story and on from a camera point of view)
The camcorder flickered on Kirby's bright eyes were looking right into it. "Is it on?" He asked.
"Is there a red dot in the corner?" Tails' voice asked. Kirby turned the camera around until it showed the rest of the mansion's hallway.
"Yep! I see a red dot!" He said.
"Then that means it's recording." Tails said, walking into the camera's view. Pichu then came up and and stood before the camera and faced it.
"Welcome all. This is Pichu's Super Smashin' Author Safari." She said with a smile. "Here, you'll be experiencing wild authors in their natural habitat. How they behave and what they do on a regular basis. But not just any authors, but authors from the real world. Let's begin, shall we?" Yoshi then moved into view, but he was too close and his but took up the camera's view.
"So, what're we doing first?" He asked.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH! FULL MOON!" Kirby shouted and moved away abruptly, causing him to drop the camera, having it land on the ground on it's side. Yoshi, Tails, and Pichu, which looked like they were standing sideways, looked at it and the pokemon pace-palmed.
"This outta be fun..." The fox mumbled.
(static) ('static' means that it shows the camera footage staticing, indicating a transition)
Pichu, Tails, and Yoshi were shone walking down the hallway. "So first, we have to locate the authors." Tails said, looking back at the camera. "But we have to be careful when doing so. Some of the authors can tend to be dangerous, so you have to keep your guard up."
"Sh!" Pichu suddenly said and held out her paw, causing them to stop. "I found one." They all ran forward and peeked out of the hall and into the living room. Sitting on the couch was Light, who was playing "Left 4 Dead" on the tv. "Here we have a wild Light." Pichu whispered to the camera.
"Lights are very energetic and random." Yoshi added. "They're mostly very friendly, but they can be crazy, and I mean crazy."
"They can also be very sadistic and can get very dangerous when angered." Tails explained. "But even when not angered, they're still dangerous to game characters with their random and crazy behavior. So if you encounter one, be very cautious."
"However," Pichu said with a smirk. "They're crazy and fun personality is also a good source to distract them." She then pulled out a laser light and pointed it at the ground in front of the couch. Immediately, this caught Light's attention and her head snapped down to look at it.
"Laser light!" She shouted in excitement and dove down after it. But she lifted her paws and saw that it was gone. Light raised her head and looked around in confusion but soon spotted it a little ways away and pounced at it again. Pichu had her fun by moving the laser around and having the mega absol chase after it. After a while, she pointed it at the tv and Light dove for it. But the mega absol tripped on the wire to the game controller and it fell off the couch, causing her character on the game to move and spook a Witch.
Seeing the zombie on the tv literally right in front of her face, Light yelped in surprise and scurried away. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! IT'S COMING FOR ME!" She shouted in fright. Pichu now burst out laughing and rolled on her back with Kirby laughing as well behind the camera.
(static)
"Up next, we have a Warrior Kitty." Yoshi whispered as the group crept up and peered in the entrance to the kitchen. Said sylveon was sitting on a stool with a mocha coffee beside her and she was watching something on her phone.
"Warrior Kitties are docile creatures." Tails explained. "They're friendly and not seen as dangerous, so if you were to encounter one, don't be afraid, for they won't hurt you. However, there are only two three occasions that they can be dangerous."
"One, when they're with friends and unleashing her imagination." Pichu said. "Two, when you tick them off."
"Warrior Kitties may be calm, but they have low patience." Yoshi added. "So don't get one mad or else they can get just as dangerous as an angered Light, which is not good."
"And thirdly, when you take their coffee, they get pretty fierce." Tails said. To prove his point, Fox then appeared at the other entrance of the kitchen. He glanced at Warrior Kitty and saw that she was distracted by her phone. Slowly and quietly, Fox crept toward the fridge and opened it. In there was a pack of bottle mocha coffees with a sticky note on it saying "Warrior Kitty's. Do NOT touch!". Licking his muzzle, Fox reached in a grabbed one. Immediately, Warrior Kitty's head snapped up and she glared at the pilot, snarling. Fox yipped and turned to run with the mocha, but the sylveon used her Quick Attack and tackled him to the ground and began to beat the shit out of him.
The group of kids watched as this happened with frightened expressions until Tails turned to the camera. "See? That's what I mean."
(static)
"Mightys are very harmless too." Yoshi explained as they watched the vulpix sniffing around the hallway they were currently in, seemingly looking for something. "They're mostly pretty innocent and they use their cuteness to their advantage to get what they want."
"But, be careful." Pichu warned. "Mightys don't always roam alone. They are watched over by the fierce and cocky Falco." The camera then turned around to show the said pilot watching tv in the living room down the hall. "Falcos are very protective of Mightys and will attack someone viciously if they were to harm one."
"Another interesting trait about a Mighty is they can be very curious." Tails said to the camera while in the background, Mighty had found the door she was looking for and opened it and walked in. "So be sure to keep any dangerous object out of their reach or they will most likely to either destroy it, destroy something with it, or destroy something with it and destroy it as well."
Suddenly, an arwing busted right through the wall behind Tails, causing him to yelp and jump. The arwing proceeded to fly through the hall and finally through the wall and into the sky outside. The kids stared at the hole in the wall in complete shock until Falco's voice was heard.
"Ah damn it, Mighty!"
(static)
"Frosts are very lone and grumpy creatures." Pichu said as her, Yoshi, and Tails were shown crawling along the ground. They kept crawling until they reached a doorway and looked inside the room to see Frost sitting on her sleeping bag, reading a book. "They strong fighters and are pretty dangerous, especially when angered. However, despite this tough exterior that they have, they can be very caring, especially toward their friends and loved ones."
"But one a flaw that Frosts possess are clumsiness and recklessness." Yoshi whispered. "Those are their downfalls and can leave destructive as well and also vulnerable."
"But besides that, Frosts don't really get that interesting." Pichu said. "So let's move on, shall we?"
(static)
"Now Lilacs are troublemakers." Tails explained to the camera. "They're energetic and very excited, quite like a Light. But just not...crazy."
"They usually don't listen and they love to have fun." Yoshi said. "So if you were to encounter one, keep your guard up, because you don't know what kind of stunt they'll pull."
Pichu then popped up in front of the camera with a pair of glasses. "Fun fact. Lilacs can also tend to get cocky in fights. So expect to get very ticked if you were to somehow end up facing off against one." Suddenly, Epona ran right past the group with Lilac riding on her back with a large smile.
"This is awwwwweeesssoooooooommme!" The buneary shouted as she disappeared down a hall bend.
"Lilac!" Link shouted and ran after her with Ilia following behind. "Lilac! Stop before you run over something or someone!" The kids watched as the two disappeared as well.
"Further proves our point." Yoshi said to the camera.
(static)
Tails and Pichu were now walking into the mansion's living room. "Why am I being the camera guy again?" Yoshi's voice asked from behind the camera.
"Because Kirby went to go get something to eat." Tails reminded.
"Shut up, we're still rolling." Pichu said to them and faced the camera. "And there you have it. Real world authors alone are pretty interesting creatures. However, there still is one thing. When authors are put together in a group, they become the most dangerous and horrifying things ever to haunt a game characters' nightmares. So if you were to come across a group of authors, by all means run fast and far as possible if you value your life."
Tails' and Pichu's ears perked at the sound of shouting and they turned to see the front door opening and Mighty ran in with an arwing steering wheel around her neck. Falco then ran in after her, looking very pissed. "Mighty! You're in a whole lot of trouble!" He shouted.
The vulpix continued to run until she ran into both Frost and Light. The gabite was pushed over and she flailed her arms with a yelp, causing the tv to knock over on top of the mega absol.
"AH! THE WITCH HAS FOUND ME! I'M NOT SAFE HERE!" Light shouted and struggled to squirm out from under the tv. Mighty got up from the ground, but when still in fright when Falco lunged for her, only to have Lilac ride in on Epona and trample the pilot into the ground right as he was in front of the vulpix. The group watched the madness in silence.
"Jeez, weren't you right." Yoshi mumbled. Kirby then walked up to them from the kitchen.
"Hey guys! I found this game and a really good drink!" He said brightly and held up a half drunken mocha coffee and a copy "Sonic Unleashed". Tails turned to face the puffball and a look of alarm came across his face when he saw what he was holding. Pichu noticed this too and gasped.
"Kirby! What're you doing! You're gonna attract a Light and a Warrior Kitty to us, and I guarantee you, they won't be happy!" She snapped. Tails then began to pull the game and the mocha from the puffball.
"Hey, I found them first!" Kirby snapped defiantly and tried to pull the items away.
Tails glared at him. "Kirby, stop being difficult and give me the game and the mocha!"
"No!"
The two continued to play tug-of-war until finally, the mocha bottle slipped from their hands and broke on the ground and the "Sonic Unleashed" game case snapped in half. Tails looked at the half in his hand and tilted it to show the broken dish slid out. He gulp in horror. "Oh no.."
"WHO IN THE HELL STOLE ONE OF MY MOCHAS?!"
The group froze on the spot at the sound of the sylveon's voice and Light looked in their direction and saw the broken game in Tails' hands. With fire burning in her eyes, she threw the tv off of her and glared death at the kids.
"YOU LITTLE MUNCHKINS ARE DEAD!" She snapped. To go along with things, the kitchen door burst open and Warrior Kitty stood there, looking ready to rip someone apart. She saw the broken mocha bottle on the ground and she snarled at the kids. In unison, both the mega absol and the sylveon ran toward them with roars.
"Great Kirby, you provoked them!" Tails shouted in panic.
"Run!" Pichu shouted and she, Tails, and Kirby took off running past Yoshi and the camera.
"W-Wait! Don't leave me!" Yoshi shouted desperatel. He saw Light and Warrior Kitty run toward him and he began to run backwards with the camera still facing them. "No! STAY AWAY!" He shouted. Finally, Light and Warrior Kitty pounced on him and the camera went staticy.
And that readers is the documentary of real world authors in their natural habitats. Thanks for reading!
THE END!
Pichu: Man, that was wild...
Yoshi: I will always remember that painful moment for the rest of my life...
Warrior Kitty: Now that I'm feeling better and back to consciousness, I'll finally talk. Yep, that was an idea that I had, had forgotten, remembered now, and it is now a one-shot. Remember, this event happened some time during the time "Life with the Authors" took place, obviously. Just..before the whole "Growing Bonds" arc. Some where around there.
Well, thank you all for reading! I hope you all got a good laugh and don't forget to leave a review! See ya!
Warrior Kitty, out!