Additional note: This will be written from a first person point of view. Pretty much absolutely zero plot. Aside from small details that I want to be noted, you can imagine literally whatever you want. A bit of fluffiness since I'd been writing some otherwise dark sort of works lately. Separate headcanon for Colress in this one, don't be surprised. Short oneshot. *Originally posted to ao3.
Aether Paradise: Alola!
It was my first time having traveled to such warm locations, but particularly Aether Paradise. That was where I had been accepted and employed as a botanist, often working in the conversion area. The place of sanctuary for pokemon that needed to be protected. I heard about it, even from my home country, Kalos, and decided on a split-second decision that I wanted to further my career by working in a place just like that. What wasn't to like? I never knew such a place could exist, a place opening its arms to accept and protect pokemon from poachers and natural predators, for any reason at all. So with my partners vileplume, scolipede and jumpluff, I departed for my journey, leaving the life I'd always known in Kalos behind.
I'd always been a solitary person, never had many close interpersonal relationships or close friends, really. People made me anxious. Often, I worried much of what they thought of me. To avoid potential judgement, I opted to just stay by myself and pour myself into what made me happy: plants. Grass types, bug types, I loved them all. Persisting after this path, I stopped putting any effort into my appearance, allowing my naturally very big and very curly, dark locks to become free, the length having grown over the years, as I was nearing my late-late twenties. Tying it back or attempting to tame the wildness wasn't worth it anymore, so why bother?
Adorning the usual Aether Paradise employee uniform, except for the cap, I hung around the alolan flora with my vileplume for a while, inputting botanical data on a flat device each of us could easily share and compare information with and making sure the environment was stable, and as usual, it was. Of course all employees own personal pokemon were allowed to roam this area and I never hesitated to hang out with my partners. I love them dearly, after all. My employment was nearing about the three year mark, having arrived to Alola in my mid-twenties. And it was quite lovely, I had to admit. I could resume my life in anonymity, no one in Alola knew anything about me. I was another face among a large staff and that was all.
The branch chief, however, always got on my case about the uniform, whenever he visited or happened to find me. And I was easy to spot. I tended to, well, be a bit of rebel, in that way. Leaving a button undone, especially leaving my cap on my bed stand. He was quite a "rule hound", as I liked to call him. He was a bit slightly taller than I and so, so thin, even his uniform clinging to the form of his body and large, bulbous green glasses on his face. I wondered if those even served a purpose or not. They looked like giant lima beans. And he frequently enjoyed towering over others that weren't as close to his stature. It made me nervous, many a time, even if I might've nearly matched it.
"Azael. Where is the rest of your uniform?" he'd inquired in a displeased tone upon arrival as his eyes swept over me.
"I, uhm. My, uhm, s- scolipede..." I tried to explain, but the branch chief was too close to my personal space. I couldn't focus. I wanted to keep a straight face with my fib, hoping he'd buy it if I blamed it on my pokemon, but then felt immediate regret for it and couldn't follow through.
"I'll... It won't happen again," I sighed, after the brief, imposed silence.
"It won't happen again, what?"
"Sir."
"Right. I'd appreciate it if you'd arrive on time, first of all, as you've been tardy quite a bit more often than others. And for you to wear the correct uniform as specified for your employment here, do you understand?"
Internally, I screamed. Faba was not subsiding in his criticisms and too close for comfort. Did he watch all employees so closely? (Rumors in the employee quarters said: yes, he definitely did). I just wished he'd stop hounding me, but this was the type of person I was. I could hardly ever stand up for myself or speak out against something I disagreed with. I was too afraid. I could stand out of line but couldn't utter a word of it. It wasn't that Faba was a particularly threatening person, but he was more than enough for me to back down from if he barked loud enough. And somehow, I felt like he enjoyed it, never passing a chance to advertise his own importance to the foundation.
With my head down and eyes averted from his person, Faba actually went silent while I had been lost to my own. Realizing that he was no longer speaking to me, I peered up to see another even taller man was standing next to Faba, a gloved hand rested upon the slender man's shoulder.
"Are you bullying your underlings, Faba?" the man chuckled kindly, to which Faba seemed rather flustered, something I'd never witnessed before.
"Bullying, Colress? What are you implying? Her uniform..."
Faba began to detail every which thing I wasn't doing correctly as the man named Colress seemed to just listen, because Faba was that type of overly-critical person, and I winced visibly at his choice of words. Overly-critical, but didn't pay that much attention, apparently. Golden eyes were watching me instead of Faba, I noticed when I tried to sneak a gaze at him. Quickly I averted to stare at the floor once more.
He was a strange looking man. Another blonde, also bespectacled, a bit above average height, a large lab coat and a device I couldn't recognize attached to one of his sleeves. But the strange part was the long, singular blue lock that defied all gravity and wrapped around his skull. It was obvious he was scientist. I'd never seen him before then, but I never explored further than where I was allowed to go, in fear of being reprimanded.
"Oh, come now. Faba, allow your employees to do their job without hovering over them. Isn't there better tasks you ought to be giving your attention to?" Colress suggested with a friendly smile. And it seemed to have worked, Faba deciding to finally relent and exhale a short, exasperated sigh through his nostrils. Turning toward me, Faba gave me a final reminder that my uniform needed to be correct from then on and that he wouldn't allow it to slide if he had to bring it up again. I merely nodded without looking up, to which he rolled his eyes, but digressed, Colress following after him as he departed.
I wanted to thank him, but perhaps another time. Staring at the scientist's back, I was surprised when he'd turned his profile just slightly enough to catch my gaze. It spazzed me out, so of course I looked away and tried to remember what exactly I was doing before I was interrupted by the insufferable branch chief.
I wanted nothing more than to seclude myself to my own quarters.
Some of the employees, those who had come from other regions, were offered living spaces to accommodate just how many individuals worked there. It was no different for me. I hadn't the funds to afford a place on the alolan islands, so for the years I worked at Aether, I lived on Aether. I suppose I had gotten rather comfortable, since I became a bit leisurely toward the rules. I had a little tiny bit of tenure, couldn't Faba just allow the cap to be dismissed?
As I readied in a changing room at the end of my shift, an item in my pocket folded on a bench began chirping with rapid beeps in sequences. It was my ACD (advisor communication device), an item given to all employees at Aether Paradise for upper management to reach any individuals if need be without searching for them. Convenience for a large island with hundreds of employees. Unfortunately, the branch chief's specialized ID came up, prompting that I, specifically, was to stay later than my time slot in punishment for not adhering to the uniform guidelines. I groaned.
The specific task he gave was to take one of the flashlights, head to the northern most part of the paradise and to collect all the data of the overgrowth of the plants. If the growth was too out of control, I was advised to "take care of it". With a heavy sigh, I begrudgingly began to reassemble my uniform, loosely. It was rather...stuffy for such a heated environment.
The fresh evening air felt cooling, however. I wanted to bring my pokemon, but I had fed them already and dropped them off to roam around my quarters or sleep, if they wished to. I'd been in their company all afternoon. All to my own lonesome, for now. Sometimes, I enjoyed the solitude. Rather than doing what I supposed to do, I sat on the edge of the white borders behind some of the overgrown flora, hoping I'd remain unseen. The ocean was absolutely breathtaking, white waves rolling to lick the edges of paradise. In the far off distance, I could see a couple of surfers on their mantine, small specks out on the waves, from my position. That looked so fun. I wished idly that I could go try it.
I was a bit afraid of the ocean though, I'd never been around it so much in my entire life, having only really lived in Laverre City. Certainly wasn't the biggest town, but there was how my love and adoration for plants grew, having tended to Valerie's personal garden myself, as so appointed by her. I missed her sometimes, she was one of the kindest people I'd ever met. She was so exuberant of true benevolence and helped me to feel utterly accepted, despite anything I shared with her (which was a lot). I wondered if I wrote a letter to her, if she'd visit Alola, someday. I really missed her, much more than I thought I did.
"Oh, what a view! Hiding, are we?"
The voice completely startled me, lurching forward and whipping my head around to see none other than the scientist that assisted in sparing me of Faba's criticisms earlier in the day. My hand had gone to my chest subconsciously, the heart beneath beating so rapidly I'd thought it might explode. Colress seemed genuinely apologetic though.
"My apologies! It wasn't my intent to alarm you," he informed me with an amicable smile turning the corners of his lips, keeping himself at a safe distance.
"It's...uh, it's fine," I stammered in response, inhaling a deep breath as I turned away. Having been delving into such private thought, he really did give me a shock appearing without warning, out of nowhere, seemingly. What was he doing in this location? I thought I'd just be alone, for a while.
"Avoiding your duties again though, I see," he observed idly, stepping through the brush to join my perch at the ledge. Swung his legs over and leaned back on his hands, golden eyes staring out over the surface of darkening waters. It was odd seeing that he just readily had himself relaxed, but it was a beautiful spot, after all. Perhaps he appreciated the scenery...?
"W- well, yeah, haha, sorta," I agreed, but I really wanted to ask why he was here and why at the same time I was. Maybe I was overthinking it.
"Do you fret over the way Faba approaches you?" he asked suddenly, and I wondered, if perhaps that was his aim to find the answer to said question to begin with.
"Uhm."
I wasn't sure how to respond. Did I really fret over it? I didn't like it, that was for sure. I especially didn't like it when Faba tried to tower over me and constantly stood much too close. Faba was that way with everyone though, so it wasn't that it was particularly singled out on me. The branch chief liked order. I...felt inclined to step out of line, at least for things I wasn't scared of. It was the only way I felt that I could have any control over anything in my life. Colress waited patiently.
"I don't think so," I finally concluded, tugging the long white gloves off of my arms. They weren't comfortable and I quite disliked wearing them, but... it was also being watched... No, not so much watched, but observed, by this person next to me. I felt like I needed to do something, anything. "I, uh. Uhm. Why do you ask?"
"It seemed that you may have been distressed earlier," he responded, his head rested a bit on his own shoulder. He was so perceptive that it was a little bit frightening. But that was how I always reacted, to everything. I was always distressed when thrown into any sort of conflict. Though, something particular Faba said really did get under my skin, it wasn't something I'd hold any type of grudge over. That's just how it was. It happened all the time.
"I'm kinda always like that," I added just for safe measure.
"You appear to be fine, now," he pointed out, smiling at me again.
I began to feel floored, unable to figure out how to continue socially talking without becoming incredibly awkward, as I tended to do. Why was he hanging around and randomly talking to me? Why was he outside, on this side of the island, right in the exact vicinity that I was in?
Well, it turned out that this wayward encounter with Colress wouldn't be my last. That night, he was polite and thanked me for allowing him to bother me for a moment, even though he didn't, and said he had to resume his own duties before the evening was set. Bidding me a farewell, he went on his way. I wondered if perhaps he was just a very friendly person, because to me, it seemed to be the case.
Whenever I managed to catch glimpses of him during my shifts, which became more and more frequent I noticed, it appeared that he was quite affable, other employees would just walk up to him and chat for a moment. He never seemed to mind it at all. Colress was always completely cordial, but it never felt forced or like any interaction was faked. A genuinely nice human being. And so, that was how I perceived him from then on. A fellow data analyst, well, in different ways. Co-workers, perhaps even friends. That was fine with me. I enjoyed his company and apparently, he enjoyed mine. And truly, it was nice to finally have a friend at Aether, as sad as that sounds.
After a while of briefly having exchanges if one of us so happened to pass the other, it just seemed as if Colress had business at the conversion center, every single day. So every day, we saw one another. He'd always call out to me if he saw me, much to my chagrin. It made others aware of my existence, all of a sudden. Fellow employees came up to me and started conversation at random it felt like, even though I stuttered quite a lot, no one seemed to mind. Sometimes thoughtless others used unfavorable words around me occasionally, but I was used to it, so it wasn't a huge deal.
Months continued in such a way, and somehow, I found myself feeling a bit happier while working through my shifts. Of course there could be a base happiness to be considered, since it was more or less like a dream job for me, but there were things that could be less than desired. That was life, putting up with inconveniences. But I had plants to tend to, to study and inspect and allowed to hang out with my partners at the same time. And then, Colress, who somehow made it all a little better.
It was probably over a year and a half and our companionship continued to grow, even more, so much that it felt incredibly bizarre. Meeting Colress was a daily routine, deciding on lunch, brunch, talking about anything and comparing notes (was the most rewarding). I felt at ease in his presence and it was welcomed. I usually felt so guarded around others, I never realized how exhausting it was. Letting the iron wall become lowered wasn't that horrible. Maybe it hadn't needed be there to begin with. I often wondered if I'd actually be happier without it.
Summer sure was a force to be reckoned with in Alola. Each day was simmering with heatwaves. The summer uniform was much more breezy, but sweat still poured out of me. The long, thick nest of hair helped with nothing as it had grown quite a bit longer and was unbearable to leave on my neck in the heat, so I attempted to try and ponytail it. Or bun it up. But it'd been so long since I'd really attempted it, I couldn't quite figure it out, my fingers fumbling around dumbly with a hairband I borrowed from my neighbor. Fortunately, as I was in one of the break rooms in front of a large horizontal mirror, I saw Wicke, the assistant branch chief, start to approach my direction.
Uh-oh. Maybe I forgot to do something?
"Would you like me to help you, dear?" she offered sweetly, pushing her pastel spectacles back into its rightful place as she stood beside me. Wicke always looked extravagant, especially her big hair, the way she decorated herself within the limit of a dress code. I wondered if she styled it all herself and she answered my question before I had a chance to ask, as I literally just stared at her with my mouth agape. Harsh internal intimidation from other's beauty was common for me. Looking at her, or Valerie, or the President, they were all so beautiful. A part of me longed for that beauty as well.
"Oh, I used to be a hairstylist, I know how to do a simple bun," she reiterated with a broad grin, so I gathered my conscious enough to at least nod, letting my heavy thickness of locks past fall below my shoulder blades and handed her the band.
With ease, her fingers skillfully twisted my locks into a loose bun atop my skull, explaining how to do so since I could see her in the mirror. It shocked me how easily she was able to work with my impossible hair! I merely nodded though. She was gorgeous and I was shy. Once she was finished, it felt strange, since I usually never ever put my hair up in any kind of way. But I thanked her for her offered kindness and especially for showing me how to do it so I might be able to attempt it by myself.
As she departed, I found myself wishing that she was the branch chief instead of Faba. Wicke was much more understanding and kind, unlike Faba, who enjoyed mostly gloating about his position. Miss Wicke would suit the role much better.
After a moment of admiring Wicke's work to my locks, I departed as well, ready to take on my shift for the day.
It was uneventful, though Colress, whom usually started making a habit of stopping by more than once during my time on the clock in the conversion area, hadn't today. I assumed he was just busy and most likely had much more important business to attend to. He was a scientist after all, certainly one of the top ones in the facility. I was still glad he still wanted to be my friend though, even after getting to know me. He was a very kind being and never made me feel inadequate or bad about myself.
Maneuvering toward the lower arena in the embellished area of flora and greenery near the end of the clock, I released my jumpluff from her capsule as I hid beneath one of the exquisite, pristine walkways. It was intended for pokemon to feel as if they had areas unreached by humans, but I liked being there too for the same reason. There was only a half hour left anyhow, I felt secure in not being caught underneath there, scratching the chin of my partner. She purred a little, rubbing her face against my fingers. It made me smile. I had overwhelming love for my pokemon, so much, even if I wasn't a particularly skilled trainer when it came to battling, they still were happy to be in my company and that was more than I could ever ask for.
Beeps from my ACD startled me; I'd forgotten to mute the device while in my little hidey-hole. Quickly I took it out of my pocket, opening the screen.
C Where are you?
Me ?
I felt confused and somewhat scared for my own wellbeing, instantly regretting having sent a response. I wasn't sure who "C" was or who it could be. And typically, if employees were caught using the ACD as a means of regular communication, each member involved would be severely punished for doing so. It's only use was for admins to locate employees they needed for certain tasks, even though, employees could locate one another too, for convenience sake, but the telecoms were heavily monitored. I felt afraid and muted the notifications, but before I put it away for good, I waited. Another message popped up on the screen.
C Do not be afraid. You are safe. Please, what is your location?
The breaths came quicker than I'd have liked, slight panic overcoming me as my jumpluff nuzzled her head against the back of my hand. A consuming tightness in my chest, unsure of what I should do, but I felt a little comforted by my pokemon. It crossed my mind then that perhaps it was Colress attempting to reach me, but what for? He hadn't ever done so before, it was against the rules. Anyone's name could start with the letter C. But… wasn't he also considered as an admin, of sorts? Mmmmaybe?
Me under…the east walkway
I sighed, unsure of what to expect. I really hoped it wasn't a ploy. My horribly overactive imagination nagged at my eyes with images of Faba, showing up to start yelling at me about how I waste the foundation's time and resources, or worse, relieving me of my position with a few weeks of no-pay. That'd be arguably worse.
Sitting in my anticipation, I heard heavy footsteps walking above me after a while. I sincerely hoped to anything that it was not Faba or someone else who was going to tattle on me. It was quiet again.
"Now, what's so interesting about being underneath here, hmm?" a familiar voice came from the left side as I turned to meet with soft golden eyes.
"Colress," I acknowledged in a bit of surprise, my jumpluff bouncing over to where he stood, floating gently to rise, eager for pets, to which he obliged. "So it was you after all."
"It was," he said with a gentle grin as he gave my needy pokemon as much attention as she wanted. Beckoning my partner to follow, Colress ducked underneath the walkway and sat himself next to me. Jumpluff nestled on his lap as soon as he did, making small purrs of content, a gloved finger stroking her side. "Were you wary, receiving the messages?"
"W- well… A little. We aren't supposed to use it for this purpose," I admitted with an embarrassed laugh, realizing that I couldn't hide behind my hair when it was pulled up. It was strange, I felt a little exposed from such a small thing.
"There isn't anything to fear, Azael. I was the one that created the ACD system," he revealed as he faced my direction, that smile ever so present as it always was. He was so skilled at consolation. "We won't get in any trouble, I can assure you that."
I smiled in return, feeling a bit more at ease. He must be highly intelligent, to not only be a researcher and scientist, but so useful that he amassed technology for the paradise alone… it was amazing. Though, I didn't understand why he decided to bend rules for only me. Unless he didn't do it for only me, that would make much more sense probably. I was always too afraid to break rules, often forgetting that others tend to do so more often than not.
"May I ask you to accompany me, somewhere?" he asked abruptly, interrupting my thoughts.
"O- oh, sure! Uhm, I still need to punch my time clock though."
He then gave me directions to the place he wanted me to meet him at. He also suggested changing attire, which was… quite a different request. Perhaps the uniform wouldn't be practical for whatever he had in mind. After finally clocking out from my shift, I hurried to my personal room to drop off my pokemon and find something… cute to wear.
Colress was only a friend to me, a very wonderful friend. Something though, made me feel like maybe I wanted to try and impress him, maybe just a little bit. Only because Wicke made my hair look lovely. Something quite feminine but comfortable, that'd be okay. I knew nothing would ever come of this. It simply could never be. And I accepted that. It's okay to look cute for your friends, isn't it?
It turned out, this adventure was going to become much more than I would have ever expected.
In fact, I had expected nothing. When Colress asked for me to meet him down by the docks, I imagined we would find a way down to the very minuscule shoreline and walk along what was available, just to be near the sea instead of far above it. Or perhaps even just sitting out on the docks, I would have quite enjoyed that. Really, it wouldn't have mattered were he wanted to take me, because I would've liked any place as long as he was there with me.
When I arrived, he wasn't wearing his usual attire either, but completely casual clothes. It wasn't anything too unexpected of him, a nice button-up, trousers, a strange but nice watch... Something told me the watch was his own contraption, it had a very "Colress" type of vibe. And, he had a boat arranged for only him and I.
I was blown away. Why, though? Did he treat all his friends so extravagantly? I hoped so.
"This…is…a lot," I managed to say, so many thoughts on crash course collision that I felt I wasn't even intelligible. "S- so. Where are we going, if…we're…"
I was lost.
Colress chuckled warmly at what I assumed were my pretty strange responses, stepping over to the Aether-decorated boat, opening the side to grant entry, awaiting for me to step upon it first as he beckoned me. My mouth opened and closed, unsure of what to say. I felt almost a bit intimidated by it all and felt weird for feeling that way about it. I might have been born of Kalos, but I'd never really been anywhere else by my own village. Sure, I had to ride a ferry to arrive to Aether Paradise and barely saw a little of Melemele, but that was a few years ago. I hadn't left here since.
"Are you afraid of the water?" Colress asked inquisitively, leaving the small swinging door open as he approached nearer.
"Uh… uh, haha, I'm really not used to this?" I uttered, laughing out of sheer nervousness and embarrassment. I felt so out of place. I always felt out of place, but even moreso at the moment. Colress then offered his hand to me, waiting patiently as he observed.
"Come along, with me."
Oh, well, my heart started beating quicker, that's awesome. A little bit too fast. I felt like a blush was creeping on my face for some reason, but I placed my hand in his and allowed him to lead me onto the boat. He was so careful with me, urging me to be the first to step on, following then after, asking softly if I felt alright. I said I did. That's what I said. But I couldn't deny the butterfrees bumping around inside. The vibe felt really mystifying. But it was strange, also, in the way that it was kinda rousing such things. That's not what it is. A part of me felt imminent dread.
During the ride to one of the islands, Colress explained that I'd indrectly inspired an idea; it'd be a lovely night to travel to Ula'Ula and visit Malie Gardens at dusk. He mentioned how absolutely breathtaking it was there and how I, as a botanist, would most likely absolutely enjoy such a trip. I agreed excitedly! I was stoked, I hadn't any idea that was what it all pertained to. Yet, it made it seem as if… it were special. Or worse, romantic. What if I was reading the mood all wrong? The outing was tailored to my interests specifically, but... Was it that he was a very observant person and enjoyed making those he considered as his friends happy? A very thoughtful friend?
It would be a little bit of a wait during the trip, sitting next to this person in comfortable silence as we flew over waves. The sun dipping below the horizon gave the illusion of a titian ocean, gradients fading into darker blues where shadows were met. It was quite different, being out on the water during the sunset rather than stare at it from afar. From distances, the ocean appeared dormant, a solid mass of stillness. Upon the waves, one could feel so much more involved, it felt much more animate, zoetic. Merrily this soul felt like it could dance along with its rhythms. Maybe it was dancing for some...thing else.
Yet, inside of the shell, nothing but daunting vibrations heaved all around, growing more and more disconcerting. I attempted to mask my probably questionable anxiety, but it felt almost overwhelming as the distance between the boat and the island became closed. I hoped Colress wouldn't notice, but I was also aware of just how discernibly observant he was and I wasn't truly sure if I could pretend otherwise. I'd thought my impeccable thespian facade could fool anybody. I'd been following its script for so long, it almost came naturally, to always have the mask glued to the visage. Could he see right through it? Could he see me?
Could he... see me?
If he had noticed anything out of the ordinary, I imagined he might have brought it up, as he had a habit of nearly always stating what was on his mind directly. Then again, it might have been presumptuous of me to assume he couldn't simply decide to just keep it to himself. Still, he smiled at me as we left the boat behind, but came to a stop as we approached the ferry terminal. Curly strands of hair tickled the sides of my face, always there in my peripherals. I could only hope it didn't look absurd. I stood and waited, looking to him as he watching me. Did he want to say something? I hoped he wouldn't point out the obvious. Maybe I should say something first.
"I- I, uhm," I stuttered and paused, weirdly embarrassed that I stuttered even though it was something I'd dealt with since the dawn of time. Why was I so unusually abashed by it? My thoughts scrambled themselves and suddenly, I was at a loss for words. But he waited, as he tended to do, since I always had to take more than ten seconds to translate thought to actual, understandable language. "H... I'm. I mean, I, uh. W- what's up?"
Wow. Go me.
Colress tittered though, a sort of lazy half-grin on his features I'd never seen before that moment and my cheeks burned. I mean, I considered him to be a handsome fellow, nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with noticing that. Or so I thought. Or so I made myself think. But the more his image ingrained itself into my memory, I found my minds eyes wandering toward it, much more often than I wanted to admit. I was allowing myself to tread through dangerous waters, even though I knew I'd find the ledge and tumble over. Drowned.
"Nothing," he answered softly, holding out his hand to me once more. The burning became so intense. Nothing was up? I wasn't sure what he meant. The expression he wore told me it meant exactly just that. Hesitantly, I placed my own into his for the second time. It certainly couldn't be normal to hold hands with your friends. Or maybe it was a normal thing, but I felt like it wasn't. I was an adult, something so simple and innocent oughtn't arouse such odd feelings... Maybe it only did so for just me, the one who shut themselves off from human contact, unable to open the doors to another, to allow their entry into a private heart. I probably hadn't held hands with any person since late high school... Ill feelings of the past crawled up my spine. I shouldn't be doing this right now.
I felt so dark, inside.
He lead the way to the entrance of Malie Garden, just outside of Malie city. The first structures to welcome were large golden arch bridges over the untouched river and pond throughout the entirety of wildlife and massive florals. The sun may have dived below the skyline, but it subtracted nothing from the scenery. It was utterly gorgeous. And deserted, aside from pokemon wandering about their natural home. The extensive size of the garden had me stumped; it was too large of an area to explore all of it, with the time we'd been designated with. Colress mentioned we could go wherever I deemed most interesting, but the whole damn place was interesting! I felt giddy, like a kid again.
There was a tea shop at the very center of the garden, but at the hour, it was closed, to my dismay. Everything around my vision was beautiful and distracting, but Colress was just as involved, bantering back against my poor attempts of humor to try and ease up my own mood. My brain wanted to question everything about Colress instead of this rare opportunity to enjoy being away from the monotonous work place. Not that the conversion area wasn't very lovely as well, but the same scene for three years could become, well, a little stale. How was it that my close friend was constantly blocking me from any sort of rational thinking?
"Azael."
"Hm?" I turned away from the amass of brush and vegetation I observed, aware of a silence that had loomed between him and I for a minute or two. I'd taken it upon myself to distract my own perplexing internal nagging by staring at the river beyond the plants during it. Colress' gaze kept beholding expressions I couldn't quite describe when mine met with his, a faint smile played on his lips, arched brow as if he were contemplating. It's like I was becoming unraveled right on the spot. "Wh- uhm. Well, s- so. S'there something... on your mind?"
Why'd he always smile and then try to stifle it when I slurred and tripped over my own words like a complete buffoon? I hated being inside of my own head.
"There is," he affirmed. "Please, allow me to... adulate you, for a moment?" He requested in such a gentle tone, an unusual brief pause within his words. It almost sounded as if he... It was almost as if he sounded shy.
I was absolutely floored.
A million thoughts sky-rocketed reverberations throughout my skull and I knew it definitely wasn't a reaction he expected, he looked just as stunned by my mouth hanging open, body frozen like a deerling caught in front of headlight. Not one person that I had ever, ever known, asked permission to compliment me. I'd never met a person who asked for expressed permission for such a thing, period. Under the bright moonlight, in a gorgeous well-preserved garden, an outing with only... us... two...
"Are we on a date?" I blurted out without even taking a second to consider the repercussions of even daring to ask such a wildly stupid question. But I had to know. I had to know if that's what it was supposed to be right then and there, that I wasn't just making up definitions to fit the auras I thought I was reading, when maybe it wasn't like that at all. That's what I expected, that it was nothing at all. It had to be nothing. It had to. If it wasn't, all of it was under horrid false pretenses; it lurched forward through the darkest pit as bile riled up into my gums. I felt so unbearably awkward, I wanted to fling myself into the ocean and let the toxipex have me. He really thought...
"Yes." Zero hesitation.
None, at all, his gaze unwavering from my own petrified in place.
I wanted to run. I wanted to run, until my veins pumped battery acid. Until every vein on my body protruded beneath my flesh, cold sweat drenching my backside and giving me swamp ass. Bust my own face into a window. Shatter my knuckles against cement. Scale the Wela volcano and throw myself into its depths to disintegrate. I'd have readily chose any of those over the impending and inevitable pain I knew was coming. My whole world threatened to crash all around me like inverted gravity sucking itself into a black hole so large that it'd force my soul to become an ouroboros. Everything was going to break, there in that very moment, because my darkness couldn't be hid anymore. If I trusted him, well, the simple thing I'd have to do is just state the truth in clear and concise words. We cannot be together, because you are going to reject me, because -
"Colress..." I began, but I had to take a second, it already began to hurt. But he merely stared at me, awaiting patiently for me to gather myself as he always did. At least he hadn't looked upset by my probably horrible reactions. My hands fidgeted with one another, trying to work up some unfound courage.
"I- It's just, that, I- ...I- I mean, I'm... I- I'm, well... a guy..."
"So?" Immediate reaction.
SO?
SO?
"Wh- whh- w- w- wh," [REDACTED]
[REBOOT]
Ahem. And... just like that. Like it wasn't even a big deal to begin with. 'So', he had said. So. SO. Briefly, I was so stunned I felt like I had transported into an alternate dimension. As if it were just- a normal- every day occurrence, the person whom he had probably perceived as a woman throughout the entirety of the friendship, suddenly not. I was so scared of what he could have said. I'd never told a soul when I'd arrived to Alola, in fear of harsh judgement, something that heavily scarred me before then. I only wanted to be myself, to present myself in the way that felt the most comfortable for me. So I did. What was so wrong with that?
I was crying.
Only then did he finally approach me and close that distance, the gentlest touch I'd ever received from both hands to wipe the wetness away from my cheeks. It was the only time Colress ever touched me without asking to do so first. The tender gaze descended upon me was just too much, caressing my face with his thumbs, sweetly watching over me like some sort of blue-haloed angel. He had cut my armies down. And he had turned my heart.
"I quite enjoy you, you know. You're beautiful, and fascinating. It's because that you are Azael that I found myself adoring and admiring you more and more. I cherish you. I only wanted... for you to be mine, if you desired such a thing."
Those words, filled to the brim with compassion, spoken true as he gazed at my face, I hadn't realized that perhaps much of what transpired may have been an act of courage on his behalf as well. It was the last thing I expected. I never allowed myself to have any sliver of hope. I was so sure that if I trusted anyone enough to share such a thing with them, that they would ridicule or abandon me. I could not pursue men, nor women, out of estrangement and fear, living in isolation for protection. I could just stay alone, I thought. I only needed myself and my pokemon, I thought.
No one had ever seen me.
It really wasn't detrimental? He really still wanted to be with me, regardless? I couldn't speak. I did desire such a thing. I desired it, long before I could even think of admitting it to even myself. I just nodded and kept crying like some foolish waif, while he patiently watched me with a faint smile, his thumbs calmly petting away tears as they rolled.
"May I kiss you?" he whispered gently, and I nodded. And he did.
Such a connection had a feeling fluttering from my stomach into my throat, I'd never felt a kiss so tender. Always so delicate in his choice of words, never impeding over my comfort, respecting even potential, unbeknownst boundaries. I never knew that anyone could be so cordial, so soothing and so considerate. And he didn't even mind that my face was a complete mess of tears and snot and kissed me anyway.
The most wonderful night in the history of my life and I hadn't even said a word. I didn't even know what to do as he asked if he may hold me for a moment, I could only nod. I was afraid if I said any words, they'd become strangled and unintelligible. Did he understand? It was the sweetest, most lovely feeling I thought I'd never get to know. I had cast it away from my mind, accepting that these things were not things that were going to happen to me. But then, it did happen. It was happening. Oh my g-d, it was happening. Embraced like a lover would be, his hand rested upon my skull, cheek pressed into the fabric of his shirt, dirtying it with a stain of drying tears.
I was afraid I might die then and there.
"Th-th...thank you- for-...acceptin'me," I finally managed to say, decently, and he chuckled lightly.
"Aren't you the one whom accepted me, though?"
Would I ever get used to his eloquent way with words? And then, I was blushing again. He loosened his hold, peering down at me and leaning back with that charming lazy-smile, as I liked to call it. He was such an enchanting man, I wanted to scream to try to wake myself up. At least I was calmed down enough to hold an actual conversation, as it turned out, walking around, holding hands and talking was really the most amazing way to spend time. I never would have imagined, in my entire fucking life, that the most romantic line anyone could have ever thrown at me came in the form of, "May I call you darling?"
And I said yes.
Heaven is real and it is called Colress. He is your god now. :)