Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. She's a genius. She's right up there with J.K. Rowling. Also, I'm not making money of this. I'm really not. Please and thank you.

A/N: Alright, I'll be honest. I started this story because I read a bunch of these that were really bad, but I really dug the concept so I tried it out myself. If it's the worst thing you've ever read please let me know. I have four chapters written as of today and I'm going to post them up here. If you'd like me to continue please let me know. Please and thank you

Jacob traced the scars on my wrist lightly; the temperature of his fingers was slightly irritating to my skin. He shook his head, looking up at me. The look on his face told me that he was worried about me, but I knew he wouldn't voice it. Not in the way that a parent, or a boyfriend might anyway. He let out a sigh, shaking his head again.

"I won't tell you how stupid I think you're being, you already know that. And I won't tell you how worried I am, or that you're killing yourself, because you know that too. But I do have to ask…if the bloodsucker…" He glanced at me and because of my wince, let out a frustrated sigh and corrected himself, "If Edward is back…then…" He ran his hand over my scars again, and then pulled my sleeve back down. "Why?"

I shrugged, it was hard to put into words, and I knew that Jacob didn't expect me to try. He nodded, glancing at the clock.

"I should go." He said softly. "The leech'll be here soon and I'm always happy to be here whenever he's not so…" He took my hand in his for a moment and squeezed before quickly exiting the house. Jacob cared far too much about me. If I was any type of a decent person, I would put him out of his misery…but I was far too selfish to end that friendship. I made my way up to my bedroom, falling onto my bed. The hours after school that I had to spend alone, without Edward were most unbearable. I'd been without him for so long that now that I had him…it was unbearably painful to be without him for any period of time. That's where the blade made its way into my life. It was easy, easier to hurt physically then emotionally…It was a release…a bad one…but a release nonetheless.

Keeping it a secret was the only hard part. When you're boyfriend, best friend and future parents and siblings were all vampires…it was a little more difficult to keep things like bleeding yourself a secret. It was easiest with Edward. He often held his breath around me anyway, not wanting to pay any extra attention to my potent smell. I mostly did it in the hours when he wasn't around, when I was alone…alone and deathly afraid that it was going to stay that way…I tried my hardest not to do it directly before I saw him, or directly after he left. But this time was an exception. Jacob had showed up merely minutes before Edward was due and I was already in the middle of one of my melt-downs. I prayed Edward wouldn't notice though…I hadn't bled all that much to begin with. The tapping on the window alerted me to his arrival. I was lucky, he usually didn't make any sound at all. I looked up in time to see him sneak through my window, I pulled down my sleeve as quickly as I could, mustering up a smile.

"Hi." I said, the largest grin I could create, spreading across my face. He smiled back at me, making his way over to the bed, kissing the top of my head lightly.

"How are you?" He said, although it wasn't just an absent question. It was serious. He truly wanted to know exactly how I was feeling.

"Good. Now that you're back." I reached up for him, wanting so badly for his lips to be on mine, but he only watched me for a second. He pulled back slightly, tilting his head to the side.

"What were you doing just now? Before I came in?" He said watching me intently now, his brow furrowed. I bit down on my lip, shrugging lightly.

"Nothing…I was just…I was waiting for you…" I said truthfully. He continued to watch me, his expression becoming more and more upset then his nose wrinkled and he shook his head, his eyes closed for a minute.

"Did you cut yourself?" He asked. My entire body froze. How could he have possibly guessed that right away? I could hardly move, let alone speak, but I didn't have to.

"Did you give yourself a paper cut or something? It just smells really…fresh." He said slowly.

I stared up at him for a long moment and then shook my head quickly. "No. I um…it's…I'm…It's that time of the month…" I mumbled, trying desperately to cover it up. He frowned, and I was sure that if he could blush, he would be right about now. Then he shook his head slowly,

"Um…no. Smells different…" He leaned in closer to me. "And I'd never inquire about that." He gave me a small smile and then pulled back again. "I think…you might've given yourself a paper cut and not realized…may I?" He said holding his hand out for me to give him my own. I hesitantly lifted my hand and placed it in his, he turned over and over again and his own palm and then very slowly he looked up at me, the down at my hand again. He had pushed up my sleeve before I could stop him. The pretty lines all jaggedly drawn across my skin made him drop my hand like it was a hot poker. He stood up quickly, his eyes wide and rounded.

"Isabella Marie Swan." His voice came out harsh and rough. He shook his head sharply. "What are you doing?" He said, putting emphasis on every word. I wanted to cry, yell, hit, scream, shout…but I couldn't…and I wouldn't dare.

He turned away from me for a moment and then began pacing my room, muttering things to himself every now and them, all I could was stare. Then, he stopped pacing. He looked up at me, from across the room, the saddest expression I had ever seen on his face and said the words that completely killed me.

"You lied to me."

I burst into tears and can't remember when I stopped, or when my tears turned into sleep, or when Edward got into bed with me…all I know is that the next morning, I felt like a trunk had hit me.