New Girl From Arcadia:
A "Buffy"/"Joan of Arcadia" crossover.
God brings Joan Girardi to Sunnydale, where "Living on the Hellmouth means that you can get away with almost anything.", and where He has chosen her to be the one who brings "Salvation to the undead."
I do not own any of these characters. They belong to the producers of the TV series "Buffy: the Vampire Slayer", its spin-off series "Angel", and the TV series "Joan of Arcadia".
New Girl From Arcadia:
By MrBillyD
1
By 2:30 PM on Saturday afternoon, the cross-country bus from Los Angeles had been on the road for two and a half hours. We passengers had spent the last 30 minutes riding past patches of wild cactus, along a two-lane asphalt road, through the arid Southern California countryside. Now our trip was almost over. We were approaching Sunnydale.
Everything's just too strange, I, 16 year old Joan Girardi thought, as I sat beside a window on the right side of the vehicle. My mother Helen was seated beside me.
There were heatwave mirage puddles on the road ahead. You never see that, on the roads back in New Jersey, in early February. I was wearing shorts and a halter-top. The air-conditioning had broken down, so I was hot and sweating, in early February.
The bus now reached the outskirts of Sunnydale, driving past a "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign. The local Doublemeat Palace franchise stood on the opposite side of the road.
That sign, I thought, should say "Welcome to Vampire Town". That is this town's claim to fame.
The bus continued on its way, and we were soon moving along Sunnydale's Main Street, passing the Sun Cinema, and a nightclub called the Bronze, among many small shops. A short distance further, along the next block, we passed a small shop with a sign above the door identifying the establishment as the "Magic Box."
This town, I thought, looks just the same as the other small Southern California towns we've just driven through. Without the tropical foliage, it would look like any small town, anywhere in the Country. The people moving along the sidewalks outside the shops look and dress no different from people you'd see in any other town, or city.
I wondered, how do the "Not entirely human" residents I've heard of; the ones "who go bump in night" look, and if they really are as bad as all the stories you hear? What's even more important is how do we deal with them?
I don't want to have to deal with them! I raged silently. I don't want to have to deal with any of this! But what I do or don't want doesn't matter. I'd prayed about it. I'd asked God to keep us in Arcadia, so I could stay with my boyfriend Adam, but now we were here, and I may never see Adam again.
God's ignoring me, I thought. I haven't had an encounter with Him in about a month.
About a month earlier back in Arcadia, during the first week in January, a few hours after classes were dismissed, I'd been at home, seated at the desk in my room, using my lap top computer to check out what was on the Arcadia High student's website. I'd logged on to a page titled "No Longer a Virgin." I scanned down the page, seeing the names and photos of a very large majority of my classmates.
Virgins, I thought, are becoming a quickly diminishing minority in the Junior Class of Arcadia High. Should I add my name to this list? I am finally qualified. Adam and I have fkd a few times, and we've both enjoyed it.
"Well it's about time Girardi." Grace Polk had told me, earlier that day. "Why not add your name to the list, and make it official?"
"I don't know." I spoke with uneasiness. "Some of the kids on that web page are describing all the dirty details. I'd feel very uncomfortable if I did that, and so would Adam."
"I don't know about that." Grace told me, "He's already added his name, and he wrote, 'Joan Girardi has a great cnt', and it's all mine'."
"Oh?" I forced a smile, "I suppose that is a compliment, even if it's the dirty kind, and I'm glad to know he feels that way; but I'd still feel uncomfortable if I wrote anything about his dk."
"No descriptions are necessary. All you've got to write is 'I am now a woman who fks'. That's what I did. "
Okay. I thought, as I sat by my home computer. I'll identify myself as another one, among the rapidly increasing number of officially fkd Arcadia High's Junior Class girls, but without any dirty details. I'll keep Adam's private parts all to myself.
"Joan!" My mother's voice came through the door. "It's time to eat!"
"Be right there Mom!"
I returned my attention to the web page, and added "Joan Girardi" to the list. Then I wrote the words, "I am now a woman who fks." I did not include any descriptions; but I did add a photo of myself with a satisfied smile on my lips.
That's all that's necessary. I thought, and uploaded my entry onto the students' web page.
At the dining room table, my mother and I sat down to a dinner of macaroni with meatballs, sausages and tomato sauce, along with onions and garlic.
Two weeks earlier, my father Will Girardi, who was a detective on the Arcadia Police Force, had been killed in the line of duty. I don't want to say any more about that. Repeating any of the details is just too difficult for me.
My mother worked as an office secretary at Arcadia High School, but without my father's income, things were going to be very difficult for the two of us alone. My mother was looking around for a better paying job. I thought I should be getting one myself, for after school, but she didn't want me doing anything that might interfere with my studies.
This evening, when the meal was finished, she made an announcement.
"Joan. Today I received a phone call from your Aunt Joyce. She's a member of the Sunnydale California School Board. She told me that there is a job opening at the local High School, with a much better salary. She's arranged to have them keep the position open for me, if I want it."
I asked, "There's a job for you in Sunnydale, California? Vampire Town?"
"I asked your Aunt Joyce about all those stories you hear. She says they are greatly exaggerated. The problems they are having are firmly under control. I told her that I'll accept the position."
"You'll accept the position?" I thought of Adam. "We're gonna be moving? To Vampire Town?"
"That's right." She told me, "An agreement has been made, between the live people and the vampires, which will help assure that everyone there, both the living and undead, will be reasonably safe. That will include you and I."
The following morning when I arrived at Arcadia High, I went to my locker, to hang up my overcoat and pick up the books I'd be needing for that morning's classes. I saw a guy who appeared to be around my own age approaching me. The hottest hunk of a guy I'd ever met!
I thought, I'd love to have him fk me, or do anything else he wants to my naked body, any time he wants, any way he wants. No. I shouldn't be thinking that way. I am fking Adam who's actually written, that he likes having my cnt all to himself, so I shouldn't be thinking that way about any other guy.
Fortunately, this Guy isn't what He appears to be. He's God in another one of the forms He takes, when He speaks to me.
He came over and stood beside me, smiled and said, "Good morning Joan."
"Good morning Lord."
He grinned, "I know what you're thinking. Thank you for the compliment."
I looked away from him in embarrassment. Then I whispered, "Do you have to look like such a hunk?"
The Guy beside me asked, "Do you know what you should ask me, when you have those feelings?"
I smiled, still looking away from Him. "Well since you already know what I'm thinking, do I really have to ask?"
"Joan. I said what you should ask. Especially now when you've been fucking Adam who you're in love with, for more than a month."
"Oh. 'Have mercy on me a sinner, Lord', and on Adam too."
"Anything else?"
"'Lead us not into temptation'?"
"And what follows that?"
"'But deliver us from evil.'"
That's when I stopped being embarrassed and turned to face Him.
"What's going on?" I asked, "You've got my Mom and me going to Sunnydale, California of all places? 'Vampire Town'? It's supposed to be located on a hell mouth; and it's another Sodom and Gomorrah."
"That is where you will belong."
"Where I will belong? Are you punishing me for fking Adam? Every other girl in this school fks her boyfriend, but you're not sending any of them off to Hell Town!"
"I haven't appeared to any of them in human form, the way I've been appearing to you, and they haven't received what you've received."
"Okay. I understand. 'To whom much is given, much will be required', so my punishment will be more severe than my classmates will receive; but isn't having me killed by a vampire, kind of excessive?"
"That's not the reason you're leaving Arcadia Joan." He told me, "It's about the well being of all the residents of Sunnydale. When I want something done, I choose the most qualified person available."
"But isn't there anyone else with the same qualifications as me, or even better? And what do I say to Adam? 'I'll write you letters in blood'?"
"You are the one who I have chosen, to bring Salvation to undead in Sunnydale."
Then He just walked away from me.
While we remained in Arcadia, I didn't see Him again.