Hopeful

by lilacutie

Nepeta had always loved him, from her toes to her horns. Only now had she realized that the dream she had been living in was just that of hope, an illusion that she would just continue to carry, to keep because she wouldn't be able to do anything else. / One-shot for a friend, her One-Sided OTP.

"YOU'RE A TERRIBLE FUCKING EXCUSE FOR A TROLL AND I CAN'T BELIVE YOU EVEN /DREW/ THIS!"

The shout seemed to echo through the halls, not like anyone was or wanted to listen.

Olive-tinted tear-tracks in lines down her face she curled up tighter, sobbing, her hat half on.

She took the insults and rants of rage he threw at her, each and every one hitting her heart right where it would embedd and stay.

He would never like her back, and it was all too clear.

Much too clear, infact, for her to just pass off as him 'being Karkat' and that 'he just does that to show affection'. But no matter how many times she had tried, and how many times she would smile at him, he would scowl, grunt or mumble something and turn away, lock himself in his room or go and talk to someone else.

But apparently he had gone looking for her, and he had found something that she had been working on, something that she was hoping to show him when he was her matesprit.

Which she had hoped he would be.

But now she knew, now she knew that it was only that.

Hope.

It would never be anything more then hope that he liked her in a flushed way.

It would never have any solid proof.

She had pulled through many times though, apparently brushing off his wanton comments and judging stares of dissapointment and obvious hate, while quietly wilting like a flower that had long-since grown crooked inside, and she knew that she would do it again.

She'd lock herself up, cry a few times, scrape her "last" shreds of hope and fake optimism back into a pile and start again, drawing, shipping and trying to earn affection from the troll she was flushed so red for.

His endless speel of wrath and hateful words were continuously piercing her as he commented on her latest mastfurpiece. "I-I'm sorry Karkitty I-"

"THAT'S ANOTHER FUCKING THING! DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT FILTHY, DISGUSTING NAME AGAIN! IT'S STUPID, AND CONDESCENDING, AND IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A 'KAWAII' FUCKING HIPSTER!"

And after a few more parting words, he left, storming down the concrete, grey and endless halls, continuing to grumble words of anger under his heated breath. And she crawled away from the light of that door, sharp nails dragging along the ground and painful cries escaping her dry throat.

She would pick up her shards of hope and 'f33ls'and continue to love him, to try to get him to love her back. She had triedand TRIED to be purrrfect for him.

But she would always just follow.

Just float along and never get to where she wanted.

She would

just

continue

to hope.