THIS IS A REPOSTING OF MY STORY, A SEQUEL TO STORMFRONT
REALLY DID NOT LIKE THE ORIGINAL SO, THIS HAS ADDITIONS AND CHANGES BUT AFTER CHAPTER 17 IT IS A COMPLETE REWRITE.
Alex sat on the bed and packed the last of his meagre possessions in his rucksack. He was off to spend three weeks with Sergeant Dixon, who true to his word, had kept in touch with Alex and had kindly offered to help him get his driving and motorcycle tests. In two weeks Alex was seventeen. The teenager had accomplished his game plan within his timescales. He had taken his A levels after a year at Chichester College, and fingers crossed he had passed. Well, it was almost a certainty, he was a straight A student. His last exam had been two days ago and there was no reason for him to stay in his bedsit. He was free of the social care system and now in limbo. Alex still lamented his removal from his foster placement last summer. He'd liked life with Lottie and Miriam but after his sixteenth birthday he'd been moved to a half way house in Chichester. With this semi-independence, he'd worked and saved money for this moment, he was going to travel. Small steps first, Harry, Edward and the Sprintz's had offered him room and board He really wanted to go to Russia and eastern europe before he decided on which university course he wanted to do.
He'd spoken to Karen at CAFCASS, she was happy with Alex's progress and his general life goals. He was no longer on anti depressants. He'd had a full year at college without incident, even with his changes in accommodation. Twice over the last year he'd gone on holiday with both James and his father Dieter and he'd spent several weekends with Edward Pleasure and his family in London. Alex was supposedly right where he should be for his age and development. The 18 months after Ian's death were a blip in his otherwise stellar academic record. He rarely spoke to Jack and irregularly sent her postcards detailing his achievements. He'd had a big fight with Tom last June, over his decision to join the army. Alex had gone to visit all this old year-mates at Brookland to celebrate them taking their GCSE's. The party had been weird to say the least. It was like being trapped in a time capsule. His old classmates had been unsure how to treat him and Alex had withdrawn into his mask of indifference. Tom had told Alex of his decision to go army college in Harrogate, on the fast track for Sandhurst the day after the party. Tom wanted to join the SAS, go figure? Alex treated Tom like he was insane. Alex maybe should not have called the SAS a bunch of tossers, but Tom thought everything Alex had told him about them had been cool. Alex now though he really must apologise to his old friend. The SAS weren't that bad, overall they had been lied to by Blunt as well. Harry Dixon, Doc Pritchard and even Fox were OK. He was sure if the bastards at Brecon had known he was 14 in 2001 they'd have binned him before any training had started. Alex had accepted his fate then and the SAS had followed orders.
Alex could not say he enjoyed the bus journey from Chichester to Wales with its many changes and wait periods. The Sergeant had come to pick him up from the town centre. With a shake of the sergeant's head, he assessed the changes to the boy in front of him, after not seeing him for eighteen months. At base, Alex had been marched straight to Medical. The MO was equally unimpressed when his skeletal frame was exposed when he removed his baggy clothes.
Alex overheard the MO's forceful appraisal to Harry Dixon, when the pair were in the next room as he lay on the examination table... "That child is eight kilos underweight for his height, almost dangerously so. His file from Marius in London stated he controls his eating. He's borderline clinically anorexic. Any serious exertion will put a strain on his heart. If he wanted to join the army he'd be an F. Medically unfit for service."
The Major came into the room and told Alex to get dressed. "Do you eat?"
"Yeah. I've been vegan for three months." Alex told the man truthfully.
"Vegan." the MO dismissed. "Is this an ethical thing then?"
"Umm no. I kept throwing up. I restricted by diet to what didn't make me ill. No dairy, no eggs. I quit meat because it seemed a sensible progression."
The MO looked at Alex like he had two heads "Do you eat any carbohydrate?"
Alex considered what he normally ate "Gluten free bread, brown rice, rice crackers."
"Potatoes?"
"Umm no, not really." Alex could not remember the last time he'd eaten chips or crisps. Lottie and Miriam had weaned him off junk food.
"No pasta?"
"It tends not to be vegan." Alex said honestly.
"Right. Alex, I'm putting you on an emergency high calorie diet. 4000 calories a day. Please eat meat and potatoes. Come back in a week and we'll see if you've put on any weight."
Alex was next shuffled off to see Dr. Pritchard.
It started with the Doc reading the notes from the MO. "Right Alex, what happened to the sports mad teenager who ran, played football, studied karate and swam."
"Umm I've been a bit busy. Weekend job, school and living on my own. I admit I've lost a bit of weight. I still run and swim every week and I bike everyday."
"So you eat three meals a day with two snacks."
Alex rubbed his neck "Maybe not. I tend to skip meals. I've been stressing about my A Levels and college's vegetarian options often contain dairy or eggs. I guess one meal and one snack's about average."
"You really need to look after yourself, as in the whole picture. Healthy body is important as a healthy mind. On the good side, you've been off antidepressants for five months. No depresssion, insomnia, flashbacks or nightmares."
"Nightmares yes at least one every two weeks, sometimes more if I'm stressed. Insomnia is not a problem now. No flashbacks in the last six months. Depression well thats relative I'm just not happy go lucky. I get by."
"Any self harm?"
Alex answered emphatically "No, not since St Jude's."
"Do you still smoke?"
"The occasional drag. A couple a week at most. Its not a habit anymore"
"Drink or take any illegal substances?"
"I'm a law abiding citizen, Doc." Alex said cheekily.
"Answer the question, Alex."
"I smoke a few joints. Drink a few beers OK. Nothing major. Only at parties really."
"Are you sexually active?" the doc looked at Alex intensely.
Alex was slightly unnerved by this and then quipped "Umm. My right hand and I are in a deep, meaningful and mutually inclusive relationship."
The doc shook his head at this and continued "Have you been dating?"
"I have been on a few dates, both males and females, but it did not work out. I did not initiate any physical contact, never mind sexual, with any of them. The only person I let touch me is James."
"James?" queried the doctor.
"James Sprintz. We became friends, best friends really, after St. Jude's. We were roomies. Not that its sexual. I think James is 100% into girls and he is really into girls. Regular playboy."
"Why become Vegan?"
"Oh well, I been feeling a bit off, indigestion and nausea. There was this girl in college, Leanne. She told me about allergies to dairy, eggs and wheat. So I cut them out of my diet. I went to this vegan cafe/wholefood shop and got a saturday job. I stopped eating all meat and fish then. I guess existing on peanut butter on toast and salads is not a good thing for a teenager. I stopped drinking tea and coffee as well."
"Did you go on a date with Leanne?"
"God, no. She's a lesbian. She got me involved in the Gay/Lesbian Society at college. Didn't help with me actually liking anyone as in I'll let you touch me. I tend to make friends with people who have no interest in me, you know sexually. Gay girls and straight boys. Go figure. Not threatening I guess." Alex paused and took a deep breath.
"I've never been completely truthful about Yassen. I had rose tinted spectacles over our whole thing." Alex had to say the words, he paused. "Going over details with friends has really given me perspective." The doc looked his usual calm accepting self and was about to speak when Alex continued. "I think I kind of thought it, the bad bits, had not happened. You know when you have that awful feeling you don't know if its nightmares or actual memories. You know at Kiev, during training... that awful day." Alex stopped not wanting to continue. "After that I did anything for Yassen. We regularly fucked after that. Consensual. I instigated contact mostly. I wanted Yassen to love me. He didn't. I think he pitied me. Called me fucked in the head."
Doc Pritchard knew Alex was drawing a line over the past. The teenager was acknowledging his problems over intimacy. It was a reasoned and mature self awareness that he still had problems but was working on it. "Well Alex, lets look at some inkblots." Alex had actually never been more happy for someone to change the subject.