Disclaimer : don't own anything ...just making it clear.. if I did chace crawford would be my personal slave... and NJ would have happened a long time ago...

A/N : Jenny has been away from NYC for 6 months... spoilers for s3 finale well kind of.. please be kind this is my first fanfic i've published here.

'Miss Humphrey' greeted Arthur as he opened the door of the limo Chuck had sent for her, and within moments the limo sped off into the usual traffic Thanksgiving brought.

As she sat in the back, she was flooded by the memories of the night before she had left, memories and thoughts that she'd tried desperately to forget while staying with her mother in Hudson. There she was just plain old Jenny Humphrey transfer student, not the queen of Constance, little J , or any other title gossip girl had dubbed her. Hudson was a gossip girl free zone, and for the most part she enjoyed spending time with her mother, living the simple life.

Her hasty exit from the city had caused her to pack her belongings in a rush, and she left knowing she'd left something behind. Unpacking in Hudson, Alison had reassured her that anything she left behind, could be sent from her dad or that they could do the mother-daughter 'bonding thing' and go shopping for whatever she needed, and yet a million trips to the local mall could never ease the feeling she had.

The chain of her thoughts was broken by Arthur who announced that they had arrived, and as the door was opened for her, she took a deep breath and pulled her coat closer and walked in, nodding to a bemused Vanya.

Entering the lift of the building she had moved into with her father, anxious to see Dan and Rufus, and even Eric whom she had regularly emailed, and the promise of a Humphrey thanksgiving made her smile.

As she entered, she hid near the Prada sign spying the whole extended family scattered around the penthouse. Lily and Blair sitting on the cream colored sofa wine glasses in hand, a glimpse of Blair's left hand gave away the topic of discussion. Rufus fussing away in the kitchen, she could already smell the pungent aroma that only the famous chili could make. Dan and Serena practically attached by the hip attempting to lay the table for dinner. Chuck standing a little further in the distance conducting some sort of business deal.. obviously who are holidays to stand in the way of ' Chuck Bass' ...

Just as normal she thought, as she walked in and was about to cough to announce her presence.. her eyes met the gaze of the one person she was both most looking forward to and dreading to see again..his brown hair longer and his always clean shaven face covered with stubble, he looked older, more mature.

' Jenny' he whispered but it may as well have been a shout making her heart thump..his gaze never leaving hers not even for a second to blink Why is it that every time she had the confidence to look him in his blue eyes it would seem like the world would go silent and still. Just the two of them in the moment.. the background just fading.. his every word and every glance speaking to her soul..I knew it was too soon to come back she thought.

Somehow things started to speed up again especially since Dan had separated from his Siamese twin and enveloped her tiny frame in a massive bear hug, and that now Blair was boring holes in the sea green dress jenny had decided to wear, the look of disgust on Serena's face.. .It was too soon.. She just needed to get through dinner, tell Rufus and Lily that she needed to go back to Hudson, and she could make arrangements to go back that night.

Dinner had been uneventful accept for Cece almost choking on the chilli, who knew Blair Waldorf knew the Heimlich maneuver. After desert and small talk with those who were still talking to her, It was getting late, and as the guests left, and everyone retired to their bedrooms for the night, Jenny took out a piece of paper and jotted down a quick note telling Rufus that Allison had needed her, she had booked a bus ticket to take her back to Hudson. Walking into the room in which she once slept, she took the opportunity to look for that thing she was missing.. she changed her clothes and zipped up the small suitcase she had brought with her, leaving the note on the kitchen counter top.. taking once last look around, the lights were out and the sound of rain could be heard..she headed for the door..

'Don't run away again Jenny' he uttered, Jenny thought she was going mad, when had his voice become her conscience.. his raspy voice repeated her name as she made out his face masked by the darkness as he blocked her only exit.

' I'...I' stumbled jenny damn him for always making her feel so helpless..

' Don't go' he repeated moving closer to her his soft features illuminated by the faint glow of the kitchen appliances.

' I have to .. I don't belong here anymore' she countered.. looking down at the floor, her eyes not feeling brave enough to look up.

' Jenny you can't go you're the only thing that makes sense in my life.. don't go' the heartbreaking look on his face, making it clear that the girl in front of him held his life in her hands.

' why do u do this Nate?' She asked as she started to make her way to the lift,' tears threatening to spill at any moment.' Blair said it herself, one loves me but my daddy..why do u even care?' tears were free flowing now.. so much for the vow she had made in Hudson.. she would never let Nate Archibald cause her to or see her cry ever again, the lift beeped signaling its arrival she ran into it before he could stop her, and as the doors closed she heard him whisper ' because'..

She managed to get a cab to the port authority bus terminal, glancing at her watch it read 12.15AM , sitting on a nearby bench, the bus wouldn't leave for another 45 mins, she closed her eyes and tried convincing herself that she was 'running away' as Nate put it for the right reasons

Taking a moment to think, Nate grabbed his coat not caring about the rain outside, there was no way he'd let her go again especially without saying goodbye. Running purely on adrenaline he tried to make an educated guess as to where Jenny would be. He instructed the cab driver, and sat back on the seat silently praying that he would get to her in time.

Jenny boarded the bus, willing time to go a little faster, she needed out of new York or so she thought.. maybe Nate was right and that she needed to face up to things. Who cared what Blair or anyone else thought, the old Jenny Humphrey would never have had that get in her way.. but she had changed, her scheming and bitching days were over. She stayed on the bus, and it started to fill with passengers.

A frantic Nate ran into the somewhat empty bus terminal searching the departures board for the right bus number 37 to Hudson. Running to the correct bay in time screaming ' Jenny !' at the top of his voice to see the bus driver pull out of terminal. Feeling broken and out of breath he resigned himself to bench that Jenny had not long ago herself sat on, not caring about the funny looks on the faces of passersby. His head in his hands, his hair damp and clothes soaked in the rain.. how had he once again managed to lose her.. Nate was never a crying kind of guy, he'd generally be a guy about things, play the role of the strong one.. but watching Jenny's bus leave he knew he'd lost her forever, he'd missed his chance, he had wasted so many before even though he knew in his heart of hearts it was always here, he allowed himself to cry.

' Looking for someone ?' he heard as another bus pulled away, he thought he recognized the voice, but it probably was his head trying to trick him, with frustration he looked up to find a tall blonde petite woman in front of him with a slight hint of a smile.

' You know I never get to find out what comes after because' she joked herself getting soaked in the cold rain. Nate a little bit shocked.. running to her.

'because I love you' he spoke capturing whatever part of Jenny's heart he didn't already have.. as she finally admitted what she had felt for him for so long now.. ' I love you Nate' as he pressed his lips to hers and there they stood in each other's arms not caring about getting drenched by the rain...

Later that night, Jenny lay awake thinking, her head resting on Nate's bare chest his arms wrapped around her protectively, at least this time she knew she won't going anywhere ' This is what she was missing..'

The End

Thanks for reading.. :)