fandom - Initial D
title - A prayer God shouldn't have answered.
pairing - Keisuke + Ryousuke
rating - pg-13
description - Keisuke gets a letter from someone unexpected…
Disclaimer – Initial D isn't mine.
He told me not to come.
He specifically said to my face with that monotonous voice of his that I was to, "Not come and cause a commotion that is likely to follow whenever you get too emotionally involved with something. Use that energy for racing."
And being the idiot I am, of COURSE, I won't go against those instructions. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him anyway. That's how ridiculously deep my affection is. You could call it sick if you please.
I don't give a fuck...
…unless he thinks it's something of concern.
And frankly, that's the only opinion I care about.
A prayer God shouldn't have answered.
By miyamoto yui
My hands shook as his yellow sweater slipped from my hands and landed softly onto the ground.
Seven minutes earlier, I'd just finished practicing and came straight home. Well, I wouldn't have called that practicing because it was just releasing all my stress from knowing that my brother was moving out of Gunma for a while to move down to Tokyo in order to research hospitals.
I just stepped into my room while taking off my sweaty, white tanktop. Lifting the shirt over my head, I saw the infamous ugly sweater (the same one I said put my car's color to shame) with a letter on top of it.
"You don't have to drop me off. Even Mom and Dad can't. And I asked Tsugumi not to. She might cry even if she says she won't. What more for us?" Aniki said with a know-it-all chuckle and turned his back to me while he packed his two black bags yesterday.
I just stood there silently at the threshold.
"Liar. Then, what's this?"
Rumble, rumble. Thunder.
I immediately looked out the window to find the weather had changed so quickly. It was that eerie muggy, ugly yellow-beige color before the whole world turned so black you couldn't see anything.
My eyes looked at the letter again. I didn't want to touch it.
But when I picked up the letter, it wasn't even his writing. It was as meticulously small and precise as his, but Aniki, when it came to important matters, wouldn't call me Keisuke. It was just 'Kei'.
This was Fumihiro-san's writing.
It said, "Keisuke-san, you're probably wondering why I am writing to you with Ryousuke-san's sweater next to it. I thought it'd get your attention."
"The sweater always did," I commented to myself with a grimace. "That's why I bought it."
"I came here to drop this off for Ryousuke-san to see him off. And he said to put this in one of his drawers." For a second, my eyes lingered on the sweater and then I resumed reading the letter again. "Since you're still here, he said that he'd leave some of his stuff until he picked it up. That's one thing I don't get if he's going to inherit the house too, but that isn't my business. I don't ever question him.
"To make a long story short, you don't know why I'm even writing to you, do you, Keisuke-san?"
I blinked my eyes. Was he scolding me?
My stomach could feel the moment of dread before my mind could even predict what was going to happen…
"Your brother 'carelessly' left a collage of pictures of you in his closet. Haven't you ever stared at yourself when you pushed through all his ironed coats and pants?"
I took up the sweater in my hand and brought it to Aniki's room along with the now-slightly-crumpled letter squeezed in between my fingers. Rushing to his room, I slammed the door open. That was something I'd never done before, even if I was angry.
Yanking the closet door open, I saw the lab coats, pressed pants, and clean shirts. His shoes were even aligned on the floor. Pushing all the clothing to the right side, I saw that whole closet murdered with tape and staples.
It seemed so unlike him.
It was so unkempt. Probably more crazy than when I decided to cut, spike, and dye my hair blond.
My face was plastered all over with. From every year, birth until now…
My first tooth…when I wore a red yukata at the local matsuri...
Was it possible for me to have all these kinds of expressions?
"No, Keisuke!" It was the first time he ever shouted at me. I was taken aback.
"Under any circumstances, you shouldn't ever open this. I trust you not to. There are some things that should only remain mine," he said when we were little, holding the closet behind him. "Understand?"
Shocked, I just nodded my head until he kissed my forehead to make me stop pouting.
Tears began to fill my eyes and I dropped the letter along with the sweater.
"Baka, Aniki…BAKA!"
You're so smart and yet you-
It was only when I lifted my eyes to keep the prideful tears from falling down did I notice a small piece of paper taped to the top of the closet:
"Aniki, you're an angel, but I never know what you're thinking."
- Keisuke, 8 years-old
Under it, in small red print that read like blood, he'd written in his clean, exacting print,
"Then, why do I keep on doing things that hurt you?
-Ryousuke, 22 years old.
The thunder boomed louder, but I was out the door, holding the sweater in between my fingers. As I drove, the windshield wipers rigorously wiped the windows as fast as my hands pushed the tears from my eyes. I gritted my teeth and cursed everything before me, even myself.
Tip tap tip tap. He stopped typing and lifted his head, "Why are you here all of a sudden?" How could I kiss anyone but him? I closed my eyes tightly. Why did I only feel this way with Aniki? Because I admired him so much? He began to laugh. He poked me on the forehead when I opened my eyes. "What are you imagining, all by yourself?" "Can't I kiss you, Aniki?" I was so disappointed that I kicked him in the stomach and ran away.
I whined, "They're playing a game of kissing girls, so I don't want to play with them."
Aniki sighed and shook his head. He began to type again. "What? Not old enough?"
"I'm big enough! I'm eight!" I plopped onto his bed and my shirt went up my stomach, exposing my belly button.
Aniki refused to look at my direction. He ignored me, scanning the data Dad had given him as a special project.
"What's so special about kissing anyway?" I rolled my eyes.
Tap. He stopped typing all together. It was then that Aniki got up from his desk and stood over me. He leaned forward, putting his hands to each side of my face, almost touching my ears.
I gulped. My heart began to beat faster and faster.
It was then that Aniki gave me those sad eyes that conveyed some kind of human concern he wouldn't give to anyone else. He touched my warm cheek and held it there for a while, watching me closely.
"Nope. I'd end up spoiling you."
Over and over, the lines from Fumihiro-san's letter repeated within me, killing me with each tapping of my forefinger on the steering wheel.
"I know Ryousuke-san as well as you do, Keisuke-san. Why did you let him go all by himself? You know he won't ever ask for help."
I took a deep breath and dropped my bags to the ground. They were soaking up the dirty, puddle water, but I didn't care. In tiny little, splattered snowflakes, the rain turned into liquid form and fell to the ground faster than I could blink. Inside this imaginary wet blanket, I was wrapped so kindly and coldly within. And there you stood before me as if we'd always been here waiting. Just waiting. For each other? Impossible... At 12:30 am, the all-too-familiar FD's lights blinked in front of me as I crossed the lonely, quiet street to get to my new apartment. The rushing of the rain pounded through my ears as if it were a living entity. Yes, even I was cowardly enough to want to runaway. The rails of the train track lifted and I saw you standing there. My lips couldn't even smoothly ask the question, "What are you doing here? Why are you here?!" As if you understood in that slow head of yours, you laughed and said, "I would have been here earlier, but you know traffic in Tokyo. It's merciless, especially on the Tohoku Expressway." I, who had never been allowed to cry, cried with the rain today. "I won't ever leave you alone again," he told me as draped the yellow sweater over my head. He then hugged me, shielding me from anything and anyone seeing my weak face. It was the sweater he gave as a joke for Christmas when we were teenagers, but I cherished it all the same because the idiot hardly ever thought of celebrating the holidays at all. ^^;; I was too arrogant to say, "If I had to give up anything, I would, but I'd do anything to have Keisuke. Even if it is wrong, give him to me." That was a prayer God shouldn't have answered. ...for not forgetting me as you grew up... Kei whispered into my ear, "Thank Fumihiro-san. He wrote something to me. He told me, 'Through everything, you know how pure Ryousuke-san is. That's why for him to choose you could never be wrong.'" I pulled his wet hand to come into my apartment, but then, he pinned me to the wall with his hands and his knee in between my legs. Over and over, as he kissed me on the wooden floor, he told me, "I'm sorry I'm late, Aniki…"
Things seemed unreal and I wanted to runaway.
Quietly, I couldn't say anything but, "Thank you, Kei."
Owari.
-
Author's note: Okay, I had to let that out of my system. *_* That story kept on nagging at me. I'm glad I was able to write it. XD
I had this image in my head of Ryousuke being shocked at seeing Takumi…but then, more and more, I wanted it to be Keisuke.
^_~
Love,
Yui
7/29/2006 8:53:49 AM – Los Angeles
7/30/2006 12:53 AM - Tokyo