Chapter 1

Life is a weird thing.

People are born, go to school for getting a good job when they're grown up, later they work untill their bodies and souls are broken, then they die. Maybe they meet some random people during their periode on earth, calling them their friends or having sex with them, just to be cheated and betrayed one day by them, what makes life lots more interesting.

You may think my point of view is pessimistic, but actually this is how things are. Life is useless, unless you're doing it right. Unless you've got a goal you're trying to reach, a dream to follow, a passion that paints every day of yours in new colours. Otherwise, life sucks pretty much. Just as my does.

My name is Eren Jäger.

I was a german Highschool student in my forlast year before graduation and some months ago I turned 16. There was nothing else to say about me. I wasn't special, at all.

I wasn't playing any instruments. I wasn't doing any kind of sports. I didn't have a passion for collecting anything. I wasn't into parties. I wasjust a lame teenager, a hobbyless outsider, who was spending his afternoons and weekends infront of his Playstation or his computer, waiting for the days to pass.

My grades were between average and bad, so I didn't even stick out in class.

I didn't have many friends. Most of them I was just considering as 'friends' for feeling less lonely, except for Armin, who was my best friend since we went into kindergarden together, but was visiting a school in a different town now. Lately, we haven't met very often.

I have never been so lonely before.

"Welcome home."

It was my sister Mikasa who greeted my when I entered our flat and shutted the door behind me. I kicked my shoes off, threw my bagpack into a corner and went strait to my room.

"Hey sis." I mumbled when I passed by her, nothing else. Just like every day when I came from school. I didn't tell her of the events in school for a long time now, and she stopped asking a long time ago, as she knew she wouldn't get any words out of me. Sometimes I felt sorry about how I treated her, but that didn't make me change my behavior towards her.

"I've prepared you some food for lunch. We could eat together today, if you want to." she said coming out of the kitchen as I slammed my room's door behind me.

She was annoying. She would always have prepared food when I came home, but I never ate it nor even looked at it.

I was so unthankful. I knew very well she was just trying to do her best for me when mother died and father disappered without any sign where he could be now. She wasn't even blood-related to me, but that wouldn't stop her from carring for me.

I pressed the power-button of my Playstation that welcomed me with a lovely starting-sound when I sat down infront of my dusty old TV screen, the wireless controller in my hands. I loved gaming after school until the very late night. I loved how I forgot evertyhing around me, about the time passing, the social contacts I was loosing, the homework I didn't do or the chaos in my room to grow more and more.

Some time ago, Mikasa used to come in around 7 or 8 p.m. with some reheated food from lunch she prepared that day. 'You have to eat properly.' she used to say. 'You can't just live from potato chips and pepsi.' I would have just thrown her out immediately, continuing my game. She always used to leave with words like 'You should clean your room from time to time.' or 'Maybe we could do something together tomorrow.'. Coldhearted as I've become over the last years, I never answered anything.

She stopped coming in. She knew how pointless it was. I didn't need her as mother's replacement. Mother couldn't never be replaced by anyone. She was dead and I didn't want Mikasa to take over her role after she was gone.

The only thing I missed was the plate with food she always has set on my table. I never had to leave my room to get me some food.

When my stomach finally rebelled as cause of hunger in the evening, I paused my game and went out of my room with quick steps. I didn't light the lamps in our small corridor when I headed to our kitchen. Mikasa sat on the living room's sofa, wathcing TV without any lights on. I saw the TV's colourful flickering on the walls and the ground when I took a short look into the room. She would have noticed me if I turned on the lights, but so she didn't.

I made my way into the kitchen. The food Mikasa had prepared for me was now on a plate covered with some wrapping film next to the microwave, ready for being reheated. There was a little note next to it.

"Guten Appetit" it said.

I scrunched it up and threw it into the paper bin. Then I uncovered the plate and placed it into the microwave. Setting the timer, I sighed. I leant back while watching the timer to run down. I counted along with it. Seconds were passing so slow, it annoyed me. I sighed again and took out the plate before the timer fully ran down.

When I headed back to my room, I crossed my way with Mikasa in the corridor. I espected her to say something annoying again, but she didn't. She just looked at me, then her eyes went to the plate in my hand, then back to my face. I think I saw a tiny smile at her face, but I could have also been imagining it. I turned away from her quickly, went back to my room and shut the door behind me.

I spent the rest of the evening with playing video games until my alarm clock started ringing next morning. With dark circles around my eyes I finally turned off my Playstation and yawned. As I said, I do forget about everything when I'm gaming.

"Fuck." I said to myself. I didn't sleep at all. This day would be one of those terrible ones, I thought when I stood up slowly with my ass hurting from sitting on the floor all night long.

I left our flat in the same clothes I wore yesterday. They still were good and didn't smell yet. At least, I thought so.

I didn't eat any breakfast before leaving and the only things I took with me to school were my backpag and a can of energy drink.