Jeff Sterling threw down his pen in frustration as he got yet another question wrong. It made a very satisfying snap against his books but the gratification only lasted a moment: the pen bounced up again and landed noiselessly on his sheets.
Rolling over onto his back and forcing his gaze away from the textbook that seemed to be mocking him, he sighed heavily, an exasperated groan following soon after. He reached up beside him and shoved his books to the floor, completely indifferent to how they landed or whether the pages would bend, before shuffling himself to lie stretched out flat over his bed, his long body at an angle.
His hands fell comfortably over his stomach as he began humming, the background whirr of the desk fan his only accompaniment. The movement of the cool air ruffled his bleach-blonde hair and his tired hazel eyes slid closed as he subconsciously brought his long-fingered hands up to interlock behind his head, crossing his ankles at the same time.
He relished the quiet, relaxing moment but was quickly dragged down from the clouds when he remembered the reason he'd gotten so worked up in the first place. Well, two reasons. One, he didn't understand this stupid calculus. It was ridiculously complex and he wasn't sure why he was even in the class.
The second reason was more indirect.
Having returned from spring break only two weeks ago, some of the things his parents had said still resonated in his mind. 'Well, if they go around the streets holding hands, provoking attention, why shouldn't they be beaten?' and 'It's disgusting and unnatural! They shouldn't have been given rights in the first place. Maybe then the greedy shits wouldn't be pushing for more,' just to give a couple of slightly more pleasant examples.
Yes, Jeff's parents were homophobic and intensely so.
How ironic, then, that their eldest son had turned out bisexual. It was the sadistic, cruel homophobia that they didn't even attempt to hide that had prevented Jeff from coming out to his parents even though he'd known and accepted his sexuality from the age of fourteen. He'd had suspicions for a while but that was when he'd decided that coming out to his parents was a bad idea.
Quite honestly, he would much prefer how he got along with his parents now than if he told them the truth – they might not have the best relationship but it was certainly better than it would be if he shared this particular secret.
Had anyone watched Jeff in the moments these thoughts took this line, they would easily see that it was not pleasant. His eyes had opened and were hard, guarded, even at the mere thought of revealing himself to his family. His jaw was tight and his body seemed to have frozen up, the only movements being the expansion and collapse of his lungs and the jump of his thudding pulse in his taut throat.
It was this moment that Jeff's dorm-mate and best friend, Nick Duval, chose to walk in, having spent the last hour and a half attempting to teach some snotty sophomore with an attitude problem the difference between ionic and covalent bonding. The cocky, immature child probably didn't even realise what subject it was – chemistry, if you were wondering.
Jeff's cold eyes slid to his roommate, watching impassively as Nick tossed his bag at the foot of his bed, shrugged his blazer off and hung it on the back of the chair over Jeff's before loosening his tie and freeing a couple of buttons. He glanced over at Jeff as he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, greeting his best friend at the same time: "Hey, buddy, you alright?"
Just those four words seemed to be the catalyst that made the previously slow reaction become instant; Jeff rolled off his bed and to his feet like a ninja as he advanced angrily on his roommate, trying to use his extra few inches of height to intimidate the shorter boy but Nick wasn't having any of it.
He returned Jeff's enraged gaze with the calm, knowing eyes that were a dark shade of chocolate brown that the blonde glaring at him had always secretly admired. "Am I alright?" Jeff practically growled. "I come back from spring break, not saying a word about it, not for the whole two weeks and you ask if I'm alright?" he continued, his glare never letting up and his voice rising in both volume and pitch, preparing to go into full on rant mode
Nick just sat down and made himself comfortable, his expression blank.
The fact that his supposed best friend had no reaction only fueled Jeff's fury. "You know what my parents are like, man! You know how they feel about people like me, like us. I hate my vacations. I hate that I have to live with them knowing what they would do if they found out. I hate that they put me down without even knowing it because I can't risk coming out to them. I can't be myself there and I hate it more than anything else.
"I'm sick of hiding who I am, I'm fucking sick of it, but I know it'll be worse if I told them the truth. I will never be able to take a boyfriend home to meet my parents. I want to be able to bring him home and show them that he makes me happy and I want them to be happy for me, no matter who it is I love. I want them to accept me, Nick, but I know they never will. You've heard how they talk about people like us. But is that really too much to ask?
"And I don't want my brothers and my sister to get that same attitude. I want them to make up their own minds and I hope to God it won't be the same as my ridiculously homophobic parents.
"And on top of all that shit, I have a calculus test to study for and I can't fucking do calculus!" Breathing heavily, swaying slightly and finally out of words for now, Jeff slumped down onto his bed, facing Nick on the other side of the room, and putting his face in his hands, leaning forward on his knees.
He sighed shakily, several long minutes passing. Nick knew that Jeff wasn't done yet. "I just want them to love me, Nick," he finally murmured in a small, trembling voice as he looked up, allowing Nick to see the tears that had begun to form but refused to fall. "I want them to love me unconditionally because I'm their son and that's what parents are meant to do."
Nick's heart cracked a little at the sight of his best friend so broken. He knew that home life was tough on Jeff but he hadn't realised quite how tough until now. So Nick stood and strode across the room to sit beside the blonde, immediately wrapping Jeff in one of the tightest hugs the guy had ever received. There was no hesitation, no question.
Jeff needed him and that was it.
The blonde hid his face in Nick's shoulder as he was pulled into his best friend's lap, trying desperately to control the choked sobs that were forcing their way out, sobs that wracked his body and made his shoulders spasm even as Nick held him tightly and hummed soothing melodies in his ear. Jeff had Nick's waist in a death grip as the comfort the blonde boy had so desperately needed was finally given to him.
He didn't notice that Nick's humming had become words until he reached the chorus: "Baby, you're not alone, 'cause you're here with me, and nothing's ever gonna bring us down 'cause nothing can keep me from loving you, and you know it's true, it don't matter what'll come to be, our love is all we need to make it through."
As Nick continued to sing, he could feel Jeff calming and relaxing against his body. He could feel the deeper, more controlled breaths of his friend over his throat and the other boy's shoulders were no longer convulsing wildly. The death grip on his waist hadn't released, though, but honestly he didn't really mind. They simply sat against the wall, tangled together and breathing in complete synchronisation.
There were several long minutes of this calm quiet with only the desk fan and their breathing breaking the silence before Nick said softly, "Finally." Jeff made a small noise of confusion and Nick chuckled in reply.
"I know you, Jeffy. I've been waiting for you to explode like that the whole two weeks we've been back." Jeff was still for a moment, then snuggled closer, feeling more childlike than he had done in a while, craving warmth and cuddles.
"I'm sorry," he murmured against Nick's neck. "You don't deserve to have me shouting at you. You didn't do anything wrong, Nicky," he said sadly. Nick squeezed him reassuringly.
"I know. But I know you. I know you needed to rant and rave and I'd rather it was me you shouted at than your parents or some stranger 'cause who knows how either of those could turn out!" They laughed together for a moment and returned to the comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
"So what do I do, Nicky?" Jeff whispered. The only time Nick really allowed this nickname was when his best friend was upset and, although he normally wouldn't, he couldn't help but smile this time. He loved that Jeff would allow himself to be vulnerable with him; the blonde didn't trust just anyone, and Nick cherished the fact that the two of them were so close.
He shrugged one shoulder - the one Jeff wasn't leaning on - in reply to the blonde's question, following it up with a verbal answer: "I don't know, Jeffy."
There was a nudge to his ribs. "Yes you do. I know you, Nicky. You have an idea at least; I can hear it in your voice," Jeff declared, leaving no room for argument.
"Okay, maybe I have ideas but that doesn't mean they're good ones!" Nick exclaimed. Jeff smiled fondly.
"So? Tell me anyway. You know you're going to, Nick," Jeff insisted. Nick sighed. He may as well tell him now or it would be wormed out of him somehow. They couldn't keep secrets from each other, it was physically impossible.
"Fine," he acquiesced reluctantly. "Well, the calculus I'll help you study for after dinner, you know I'm pretty good at math. That's that bit sorted. As for your parents... Well, you're much closer to your siblings than your parents, right?"
Jeff nodded easily. "There's no question about that. But I do still love my parents – I mean, they're my parents." Nick nodded.
"I know, Jeffy, but if you're that much closer to your brothers and sister then I think you should come out to them first. They know what your parents are like and if it comes down to it, they can help you."
Jeff breathed quietly against Nick for a long moment, considering this, and then he froze as a horrible prospect occurred to him. "Nicky, what if they take me out of Dalton?" Nick froze too, his arms tightening around Jeff almost subconsciously.
No! he thought fiercely. They can't take Jeff away! His mind was racing, trying to think of ways to make sure they couldn't and then the light-bulb sparked. "They can't," he said triumphantly.
"They can't?" Jeff asked him, sounding so worried and desperate to be comforted it threw Nick for a minute.
"They can't," he confirmed. "There's one semester left, Jeff, with finals coming up and you're eighteen. They can't do anything." Jeff leaned away from Nick's neck to look up at his friend's grin, a bright smile spreading across his own face as he realised that Nick was right.
"They really can't, can they?" Nick shook his head, his goofy grin not fading at all. Jeff laughed aloud in relief, diving back into Nick's arms, pinning him in a jubilant hug.
"Ow, Jeff!" Nick tried to complain but couldn't help it coming out as laughter as he halfheartedly attempted to push him off. Jeff wasn't going anywhere. His long arms were locked around Nick's broad shoulders and he wasn't letting go anytime soon. There wasn't any way out, Nick realised, as Jeff squirmed happily on top of him.
He tried to ignore the reactions that came with his best friend's movement but it took everything he had. Jeff's lean body was still on top of him and he wasn't sure how much longer his mind could keep control of his body. Geez, the only other time Jeff squirmed so much was when he was being tickled. Nick grinned.
Tickled Jeff was weak; problem solved.
Nick's nimble fingers made their way to Jeff's sides and began tickling him mercilessly. His wriggling became more pronounced and his laughter louder and more breathless.
"Nick-" he gasped. "Nick- st- stop! I can't – breathe!" he was laughing, unable to inhale enough oxygen. When Nick remained silent but his tickling fingers continued, Jeff instinctively shoved his body backwards without releasing his arms from around Nick's shoulders.
Apparently the edge of his bed was closer than he'd realised, too, as he felt himself falling and landing with an impact that knocked the little breath he had out of him. His attempt to draw air was thwarted a half second later as Nick's weight landed on top of him.
"Sorry," the brunette breathed. His face was so close to Jeff's they were almost cross-eyed. Jeff could feel the harsh, shallow breaths of his best friend washing over his face, Nick's wide, dark eyes locked on his. Nick's knees had automatically slid down either side of Jeff's hips, leaving him straddling the tall blonde beneath him. Their chests were pressed together and Nick's hands had wandered to Jeff's, entwining their fingers – an action so natural that neither noticed it had happened.
Nick stared down into Jeff's beautiful eyes, hazel eyes that were wild and wide with confusion as the tension between them grew. His own dark brown gaze traced over each of Jeff's features carefully, sitting up slowly to allow more light on the blonde's face. Jeff followed silently, watching his friend unblinkingly, terrified of breaking the electricity that seemed to have chosen them for a circuit.
As he propped himself on his elbows, Nick still sitting over his hips, his fringe shifted, slipping down over his eye. He would've flicked it back if he wasn't so wary of sudden movements in this short moment that seemed to be lasting a lifetime. Nick detached a hand from one of Jeff's and raised it, using the gentlest of touches to push his fringe away and allow him to see both the blonde's gorgeous eyes again.
Nick's fingertips followed through; they trailed a careful path down over Jeff's temple and curled around his smooth jaw. Jeff's eyes slid closed as he let out a shaky breath, Nick's soft palm finding its way to the side of Jeff's neck, his fingers curling around the back and pulling gently as he himself leaned even closer.
Jeff's pulse thrummed against Nick's hand, anticipation resonating through their bodies. Breathing was shallow, hearts were racing, muscles were tense, brains were disconnected. Jeff's eyes were still closed but he could feel Nick shifting, leaning closer, he could smell the scent of him filling his nose, he could feel the heat from his skin and then...
Their lips touched – just barely, but enough.
Jeff sighed involuntarily, bringing both hands up to tangle in the other boy's hair; Nick wasn't complaining, not at all as he groaned into Jeff's mouth. Their kisses became faster, more heated and interspersed with tongues and teeth, desperate gasps for breath and low moans of pleasure. Nick's spare hand found its way to Jeff's lower back, pushing their frantic bodies closer as the hand at Jeff's neck became firmer.
A particularly strong tug on his hair elicited a sound Nick had never thought he'd make. It was a cross between a whimper and a moan, a noise that became more frequent as Jeff's hands slid from his hair to his chest, undoing a few more buttons and getting rid of the tie all together as the blonde's lips moved from his own to trail across his jaw and down the column of his throat. Nick tilted his head back to help.
As Jeff forced a dark purple mark onto the skin stretched over his collarbone, Nick's hands roamed the blonde's torso uncontrollably, slipping beneath his shirt just to feel the warm skin against his fingertips. He smirked as a small shiver ran through the other boy. Nick felt Jeff's lips leave his skin and whined softly in disapproval, his hands finding the tall boy's face and forcing their lips back together.
He'd completely missed Jeff's wide eyes and sudden lack of breathing. The blonde, however, after running a critical and slightly proud eye over his handiwork on Nick's lightly tanned skin, realised exactly what he'd just done. He wasn't given a chance to process it before his mind and lips were again otherwise occupied, not that he really minded as he gripped Nick's waist.
Finally, the electricity between them seemed to lessen in force, decreasing from a violent flood to a gentler but no less shocking thrum and their kisses slowed, became sweeter and softer, containing meaningful emotion rather than pure lust.
Nick's palms cupped Jeff's face as he leaned their heads together, still pressing light kisses to the taller boy's lips as they gasped for air, eyes tightly shut and their breath mixing in the miniscule space between them.
Eventually, after a little voice in the back of his head that sounded scarily like Blaine said the word, Jeff gathered the courage to open his eyes. He stared at the back of Nick's eyelids for a few seconds, admiring the way his dark lashes fanned over his cheeks, before they pulled back and Nick's dark chocolate, slightly sheepish eyes were revealed.
"Hey," Jeff whispered with a small smile, glad to have regained control of his breathing.
"Hey," Nick returned, unsure of whether or not to smile back. The silence returned, not uncomfortable but not entirely pleasant either, stretching over the pair as incoherent thoughts chased themselves through their minds.
"Nick..." Jeff murmured softly. The sound of his name seemed to bring the other boy out of his thoughts and to his senses.
"We... Jeff, we just made out!" he said quietly, shock coating every syllable. Jeff swallowed.
"Yeah, we did. It was..."
"It was unexpected!" he was cut off by Nick's next comment.
"Yeah it was," agreed the blonde.
"It was... intense," Nick softly as he flushed slightly and refused to meet Jeff's gaze. Jeff huffed a short laugh, looking away from Nick's face.
"Mmhmm," he concurred awkwardly.
"And... it was good."
Jeff laughed more fully at this, continuing with an enthusiastic, "Hell yeah, it was."
Nick chuckled breathlessly in response, leaning away a little and gently turning Jeff's face to lock eyes with him again. "No, seriously," he insisted. "I know I like guys but holy shit, Jeff!" The blonde grinned.
"I'm glad you think so highly of my kissing ability. And people wonder why I'm bi – who wouldn't be with a make out sesh like that?"
The pair giggled to themselves, clearly rather proud of the effect they had on the other, subconsciously leaning closer as they behaved like immature children. Which they kind of were. Jeff pressed another chaste kiss to Nick's lips and stifled another giggle.
"Nick," he said as he pulled away. "You realise that if Trent gets hold of this, he'll never let go?" Nick's eyes suddenly became very round as he realised that Jeff was right.
"Oh, God, he'll be terrible! Oh, I knew it would happen!" he mimicked. Jeff joined in.
"Oh, you're so adorable, why didn't you get together sooner?" They laughed together and continued to mock their friend, all in good fun of course.
"Klaine, move over, there's a new power couple in town!" Nick giggled.
"Niff is on, people!"Jeff shot back.
"I shipped it from the start!" Nick said in a surprisingly good imitation.
"The pool is mine!" Jeff exclaimed.
"Wait, what?" The blonde looked at Nick sceptically.
"You really think they don't have a bet going? It's the Warblers, we bet on everything." Jeff pointed out.
Nick conceded: "Good point. But I don't really care about the pool at the moment because I just want to kiss you again." Jeff smirked.
"Then do." So Nick did. When they pulled back again, Jeff seemed to realise. "Nick..." The brunette frowned in reply.
"Yeah?" Jeff looked down a little uncomfortably.
"Most people would have freaked out by now." Nick seemed confused. "You know, making out with their best friend – enjoying it! – and realising exactly what they've done. You know how it is in all the stories."
Nick was silent for a minute or two as he shifted to sit next to Jeff rather than on top of him (although he did quite like the view), sensing that this was a more serious conversation.
"That's true, I guess," he said slowly. "But we're not most people, are we, Jeffy?" He grinned up at the taller boy, shifting closer to him as a warm arm settled around his broad shoulders.
"No, I guess not," Jeff admitted. "I mean, we did do a lot of coupley stuff anyway." Nick nodded against Jeff's pleasantly warm chest.
"Mmhmm. And then we wondered why Trent shipped us so hard."
They laughed together, fading into a comfortable silence with fingers tracing tiny circles beneath shirts and on arms. "I'm gonna do the really cliché thing now: What does this mean for us?" Nick asked, still holding tightly to Jeff's body. Jeff seemed surprised by the question but, to Nick's relief, answered quickly.
"Well, I don't know about you but I really liked making out with you – let's do that more often –"
That earned a laugh from Nick, which made Jeff smile as well.
"And I liked our short kisses after. I like holding you and I like being held by you and being able to kiss you whenever I want," Jeff said emphasizing the point with a quick kiss to Nick's lips. "So, if you want... Let's make this a permanent thing."
Nick looked up from Jeff's chest to his face with a quirked eyebrow. "You, Sterling, are wonderfully poetic and frustratingly ambiguous," he stated with a half-hearted glare. Jeff winked down at him.
"That, Duval, was the idea."
The brunette pouted. "You're mean."
Jeff smirked again. "You love me."
Nick rolled his eyes and said, "Be that as it may, you're mean."
The blonde laughed, shaking underneath the head on his chest. "'Be that as it may'? Who says that anymore?" he mocked playfully.
"Clearly me," Nick retorted. "Now as you're so God-damn vague, I'll just say it, shall I?"
Jeff grinned widely. "Go ahead," he said with a chuckle. Nick rolled his eyes again.
"Jeffrey Sterling, will you be my boyfriend?" Nick asked, gazing up at the gorgeous blonde. Jeff smiled and leaned closer.
"With pleasure, Nicholas Duval," he replied, closing the last distance between them and kissing him fiercely. A few moments later a Trent-like squeal echoed from the hall.
"Guys, that pool is mine!" they heard the sassy Warbler insist as they pulled apart to glance at each other and then the door.
"Damn it, Trent, why are you always right?" they heard Thad complain in response.
"It's a gift, Thaddeus," Trent replied. "Now go make sure the others cough up!" Nick and Jeff just shrugged and returned to kissing, becoming so engrossed with the other that they didn't notice the door swing open or realise that Trent was there until a camera shutter went off.
By the time they looked up, Trent was a Trent-shaped puff of smoke like you see in the cartoons. They could hear him squealing though; "Guys, call an emergency meeting! I have photographic and audio-visual evidence that Niff is on!"
'Niff' laughed at their friend again but simply resumed their earlier activities.
Although their presence wasn't exactly necessary, they eventually showed up to the Warblers meeting hand-in-hand and surprised to find Trent still showing the picture. They hadn't been noticed yet, they realised, glancing at each other in the doorway. It also occurred to them that they weren't the most presentable of peoples: swollen pink lips, messy hair, ruffled uniform and ridiculously bright grins were sure signs that they'd been making out. They glanced at each other again and crafted wicked grins onto their faces, stepping into the room and drawing the attention of every single Warbler.
"You know, guys, if you're really that fascinated by us kissing," Jeff began mischievously. Nick knew where this was going and the wicked glint to his eye was more pronounced than ever.
"I'm sure we could give you a live show!" he finished, throwing a wink to the room before giving Jeff a grin and tugging him closer. There was a mix of groans, laughs, horrified looks, a few 'ew!'s and most surprisingly, a few mildly intrigued expressions. Trent just beamed. "C'mon guys, tell us the goss! How'd it happen?" Nick rolled his eyes again as Jeff grinned.
"Well, long story short, this idiot kissed me," he said, gesturing at Nick.
"No I didn't! You kissed me!"
They turned to face each other head on as Jeff insisted, "No, you kissed me!" This went on for a longer than would be considered playful and the two seemed to be getting genuinely angry. The Warblers were getting worried – they never fought and they'd only just got together. Were they going to break up already?
And then, so fast that no-one saw who moved first, they were kissing again – hands grabbing and roaming, teeth clashing, tongues tangling. "God, you're so hot when you're angry," Nick muttered against Jeff's lips.
"I'm hot all the time," the blonde replied. "Now shut up and kiss me."
They barely registered Kurt's exclamation of, "Oh my Gaga, it's like gay porn!", David's cheeky reply, "You would know, Kurt," and the following banter. It was completely ignored as they instead chose to leave and continue their, ahem, activities in the privacy of their own dorm.
A/N: So guys? What did you think? This is slightly more intense than my normal writing but I think it turned out pretty well. Yeah? I think this is the longest one-shot I've written so far and I think I got a bit of everything in there: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, humour. Overall I'm pretty pleased but tell me what you think? I love reviews like I love fifteen minute hugs (this has happened. It was awesome). So review! Yes? Yes. Good. xD Thanks again, you guys, and I love you all!
~Maddy (: x