In Plain Sight

Rated: T

Genre: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Isshin

Summary: Isshin struggles in the wake of Masaki's death, coming to new realizations, and ultimately learning how to live again.

Last night, I thought about killing myself. I know you would take offense to that. You're supposed to be the happy one, remember? That's what you would say. Then you would give me a light-hearted elbow in the arm and go on some quirky soliloquy about how fun the world is.

And I agree. But it was only fun when you were in it.

Now I spend most days just wondering how I'm going to be a single father to three children. It hurts to look at Yuzu, who has your eyes and your strawberry-blonde hair. I think my affection and protectiveness has grown for her with this realization. Not just because of her blinding resemblance to you, but because I can't bear to lose someone else.

Dear god, Masaki, why did you have to leave us? Where was the justice in such a vile Hollow killing you?

I suddenly find myself second-guessing our life together. If I only hadn't acted and come back to the Living World for you. Or even met you at all. Would you still be alive today? You were a gift to me and I failed you. I failed you in every way that mattered. It's all my fault.

I almost can't accept that you are gone, the truth is so devastating. Still I fight the very idea that I will never see you again. I must hold onto the hope that you are still out there. That one day I will hold you in my arms again. Because nothing hurts more intensely then thinking otherwise. For now I have hope. Because I have insider's knowledge that this isn't the end. There's a life beyond this one. And whatever it takes, I'll raise our kids right and come find you when my time arrives.

I'll listen to your voice telling me to live life to the fullest. I'll live it how you would have lived it, and love our children as you would have loved them. I'll live for you.

The pain is fresh, but I have your memory to get me through it, your words of encouragement.

I see you reflected in our son, and I know beyond that mask of grief he is still a gentle and compassionate person, Don't worry, Masaki. I'll make sure he stays on his toes. My methods may be unorthodox by your standards, but no matter how far off the beaten path he strays, I'll get him to come back.

Yuzu is already trying to take your place. She's started making our meals, and I guess its partly my fault because I can't cook worth a damn. But it seems to keep her busy, and as long as that makes her happy who am I to tell her otherwise? I know she's sensitive, and she gets her tender heart from you. I probably coddle her a bit too much, but I'm a softy when it comes to her.

Karin keeps herself busy by caring for Yuzu, and I think between keeping me in line and watching over her sister, she's going to be just fine.

And me? I'm not single father of the year by any stretch of the imagination. But I'm trying. I spoil my girls as often as I can, and I rough Ichigo up every morning so he doesn't get too depressed.

I still get to see your face everyday on that poster of you I hung up on the wall. And it reminds me why I'm human and not a Soul Reaper anymore- and why that's also something to smile about.

I tell myself you're not really gone.

You're just hiding in plain sight.

A/N: The title of this fic is actually very symbolic for me. It goes to show that Misaki colors every aspect of the Kurosaki family's daily lives even after her death. She's not alive anymore, but she lives on in her children and continues to influence them. So in a way, she never really left.