He comes and goes, like a cold breeze in the night, but she's cocooned like a caterpillar tucked away from anything real. His touch is enough to drive her crazy, to send her senses reeling and to make her heart pound like a drum. She never knows what he's thinking, if he'll come back at the end of the night or if he'll make it through.
But there's a deafening silence through it all.
He's always in pain, a silent numbing kind of pain. It comes to him in forms, bad memories, nightmares, visions and darkness. Sometimes he yells out, at nothing. He won't talk about it to anyone but her, he doesn't let anyone else in. He suffers in agony until they are alone and things can be said through kisses and tender moments.
But still, silence.
He sometimes screams at her and she cries because she's scared. He'll break a few ornaments, have to buy a new table but he'll never hurt her. He knows he could never live with himself if he did. They'll fight viciously. She'll walk away but then he's grabbing her back into his touch and kissing her passionately, urgently. He knows that when she's gone he's uncontrollable and needs her. They scream, fight, kiss in the rain. They stay awake till four, just drinking cold tea and saying each other's names. He's angry that he can't be her hero anymore, that he's too weak to save her.
There's a silence hanging around them, that stings Hermione's ears.
He hasn't said I love you in months. He does, he loves her more than she knows but it hurts to say it incase she disappears. She loves him, like she always has, like a burning fire blazing on and on. But she just wants to hear him say it, more than anything. In the mornings, she'll open her own stinging eyes into his. She'll know he barely slept, that he held her all night, peering into the darkness. He's always guarded, like something is coming. He spends all his time protecting her just staring out with her big, pain-filled eyes. She holds him in the night, clutching to his chest as if he could disappear any second. She cries for him, for everyone that's gone but never for her own heart. It's already shattered.
Silence.
He looks into his eyes, knowing he's out of his mind. He can't see anything because he's blinded by the pain. She's under his skin, always pulling him in to her. He's lost in her and he knows he'll never awake from this trance. There are good times, when time is forgotten and they can learn from each other again. They can feel each others warmth and can feel the cold of the night. Ron likes to smell Hermione's hair, to twirl her curls in his fingers. Hermione loves his eyes because it reminds her of everything they've been through, the pain she can see building up. He'll hold her as they lie by the small, crackling fire, placing kisses up and down her jaw holding her close to her and forgetting the pain even just for a while. He'll feel her skin, soft and smooth beneath his fingertips. It's his escape, a remedy and a way to keep him sane. He talks in patterns, riddles and myths but she loves it. He never stays away for more than a day because he can't stand it, not seeing her face, her body.
Silence.
They lay in silence in their bed, hearts beating together like they have for years. His big arms circle her and his lips lay beside her left ear. He inhales and takes in the smell of her hair, stroking down her side. She jumps a little, shocked that he is awake at this time of night. She exhales heavily, and turns to face him.
"Hey," she mumbles. "-you alright Ronald? You okay?" She knows he won't reply, she knows he's hurting too much to reply.
He pauses and breathes in sharply as if thinking about something. His lips seem to form something but he squeezes them tight and closes his eyes as if he is in pain. Suddenly, he whispers to her. "I love you Hermione."
She blinks in astonishment, barely moving. Tears form in her eyes and bubble over the edges. "You love me?"
"I love you." he states with a little smile. She exhales gently and smiles back. She sobs into him with relief as it's the first smile she's seen in ages. He kisses her forehead.
"I love you too Ron. I love you. I love you. Oh, god."
He kisses every inch of her face, cradling her in his big hands. "I'm sorry, I'm okay. We're going to be okay."
The silence is broken.