Darkwarrior17: Well, here we are again. I'm about to take a stab at HUMOR! Yes. You heard me. Oh, never mind. On with the show!
Darkwarrior17: Okay, I wrote out a bunch of chapters beforehand, so this is before I'm about to update. The date is November 5, 2005. I will be updating every Sunday. If I don't, it will be because of (A) laziness, (B) time constraints, or (C) wasn't at the computer on Sunday.
Disclaimer: I would be happy with even owning a GameCube, let alone the Super Smash Brothers.
One Smashing Vacation
I
Broke and Out Of Money
One sunny and quiet morning, those that were more hyperactive then others were already up and bouncing off the walls. Those that weren't as hyper were busy trying to sleep or throw things at those who were hyper. But that's beside the point.
"NESS! NESS! I BET I CAN EAT MORE BOWLS OF SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR BOMBS IN 5 SECONDS!" Young Link shouted, pouring himself some of the "cereal".
"OKAY!" yelled the equally loud Ness.
5 seconds later…
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I WIN!" Said Link, even louder then before.
"BEST TWO OUT OF THREE!"
10 seconds later…
"YOULOSEYOULOSEYOULOSEYOULOSEYOULOSEYOULOSE!" Young Link shouted, still louder.
"HEY! I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA!"
"GO UP AND PUT ARMY ANTS IN CAPTAIN FALCONS BED!"
"WELL, THAT AND…"
A few seconds of whispering…
"YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!"
Five minutes later, at the Smashers runway, Young Link and Ness were buckling into the Air Wings of Fox and Falco.
"READY!" Young Link shouted over the radio.
"YEAH!"
"BLAST OFFFFFFF!"
The Air Wings took off, making an amazing amount of noise.
"TURN DOWN THE T.V. OTHERWISE I'LL COME DOWN AND WRING YOUR NECKS!" Master Hand shouted. There was silence. He sighed peacefully. Maybe they'd have a quiet morning for once.
30 minutes later….
Ding-dong!
"Master Hand, someone's at the door!" Someone shouted.
"I heard, you moron!" Mumbling to himself, he got out of bed and headed downstairs.
There was an old lady at the door, looking quite angry.
"Can I help?" Master Hand said, wondering to himself if he could punt her and get away with it. Not a terribly unusual thought for Master Hand, but he was probably tired enough to do it.
"Look at what your jets did to my lawn!" she said in a voice that's saying "You know I want to kill you, but I like to see you squirm."
Master Hand didn't squirm. In fact, he slammed the door.
DING-DONG!
He opened it again.
"LOOK AT THIS! IT'S OUTRAGOUS!" She had lost all composure now, and was shoving photos of her lawn into his face.
"Lady, look. Those jets have not been used for THREE YEARS. NO ONE takes them out. IT WAS NOT our jets that ravaged your lawn."
"Sir, look. I DO NOT get up this early in the morning with out good cause. I DO NOT walk half a mile up hill for no reason. I DO NOT stand in front of a moron for-"
SLAM!
Master Hand was not one to be insulted this early in the morning. In fact, he wasn't typically one to be insulted any time in the day.
DING-DONG!
DING-DONG!
Master Hand opened the door again.
"LOOK, lady…" He trailed off. If he had a mouth it would have been gaping. Angry mobs have a way of doing that.
"LOOK AT THIS! DO YOU REALIZE-"
"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO MY TREE-"
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING SO EARLY IN THE MORNING, RAVAGING LAWNS AND-"
"HOW COULD YOU FLY SO LOW!"
"YEAH!"
"YEAH!"
"LET'S GET 'EM'"
He quickly slammed the door. Angry mobs weren't uncommon for the smashers, but never this early in the morning, or to this scale. If he knew what it was, that would have been a different matter.
He quickly pushed the Angry Mob button, conveniently place several inches from the door. A computerized voice boomed over the P.A.
"Emergency Mob System, Code 152542, Locking down. Initiating."
Red lights began flashing, and an alarm bell was sounding, waking anybody who hadn't already been awoken by the angry mob.
In the Smasher's Hanger, Sixty Minutes later…
"HA HA! THAT WAS GREAT!" Ness shouted climbing out of the Air Wings.
"And you know what the best part is? Everyone was asleep!" Young Link said, turning a corner.
"Yeah!" Ness turned the corner, and ran into Fox, Falco, and a giant hand with veins nearly popping out of it.
"Oh, hi Fox, Falco, Crazy."
"This is Master Hand." Falco said coldly.
"Oh…" Young Link looked at Ness. "Something wrong?"
Master Hand at this point exploded. Almost literally.
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE! DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS IS GOING TO COST US! 'SOMETHING WRONG!' HA! You have no idea how dead you are…"
Zelda suddenly called from the kitchen. "Ripley's Believe it Or Not just called. They want to feature us as 'The Most Angry Mobs Against Organization in a Matter of Five Years.'"
"TELL THEM TO GET A LIFE! Now you two…" He seethed. "You two are so dead, I'm-"
"Wait a minute." Fox said thoughtfully. "If were in lockdown, how did they get into the hangar…" His voice trailed off as he heard shouts from out side.
"HEY! THERE'S AN ENTRANCE OVER HERE! C'MON!"
"YEAH!"
"LETS RANSACK THERE HOUSE LIKE THEY RANSACKED OUR HOUSES!"
"D-E-A-D. Dead…"
Twelve Hours Later, In the Dining Room…
Master Hand was slumped in his chair. This had been the longest day of his entire life. Not only had he had to pay all of the people back, but some were pressing charges. He silently groaned at the thought.
"They won't win." Mewtwo said, floating through the hall.
"I know."
"I know you know."
"Then why were you trying to console me?"
"I wasn't…"
"… Call a meeting. Now."
Ten Minutes later…
The smashers were all sitting down and waiting to here what sort of punishment would befall the two who had caused the mob.
Master Hand stood up at the head of the table. "As you should all know, we had an angry mob attack us this morning."
"Angry mob! AHHHHH! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Crazy shouted, and ran into a wall.
Ignoring this, Master Hand continued. "We are now in the worst financial crisis since Monday. I'm afraid I'm going to have to revoke your credit cards," Peach broke down sobbing- "and we're all going to have to cut back on destroying the house." Master Hand paused to let it sink in. "Now, onto more important business, may Young Link and Ness come forward."
Ness and Young Link slowly got out of there chairs. As they walked forward, Crazy began playing funeral music on a violin. Master Hand grabbed it and snapped it in two.
"Play on your own time. Now," He said, turning to the unfortunate duo, "you are being accused of property damage, vehicular damage, vehicular theft, and a number of other things. How do you plead?"
"We plead-"
"Guilty!" Master Hand slammed down a gavel that he had grabbed from Popo. "I sentence you to torture." The two began to whimper. "Now, Zelda, I believe you have a medieval torture device chamber in your room." Zelda turned red and muttered "Legal business." and Young Link and Ness began to sob. "And Mewtwo, you will carry out the sentencing, in any way you see fit." Mewtwo's tale began to curl in a sign of joy, and Young Link and Ness fainted.
"Excellent. Now, this leaves the problem of figuring out who sorts our financial problem. Now, I'm going to nominate-"
"ALL IN FAVOR OF MASTER HAND!" Link shouted.
"AYE!" Everyone else shouted.
"Um, Nay?"
"Right. That settles it. Master Hand, you have been appointed to find a way to save money. Make up some sort of plan so we can ignore it."
"Fine! As long as I get to choose four assistants."
"Two."
"Three and I'll let you smack your younger self around for awhile."
"Done!"
In Master Hand's Office, Half an Hour Later…
"How come we got assigned to this!" Mewtwo, Zelda, and Link shouted simultaneously.
"Because (A), you're all good at sorting stuff, (B), Mewtwo and Zelda got the job of torturing Young Link and Ness, and (C), Link was kind enough to nominate me for this job." Master Hand replied. "Oh, and by the way, thanks for letting me have assistants. Right. Zelda, you make the coffee, Link, get pencils and pens, and Mewtwo, get the copier in here."
Fifty Minutes Later…
"Okay, what if we had a coupon night, where everyone got together with newspapers and stuff, and just cut stuff out so we could save money? Great idea, right?"
"Link, that's the fourth-stupidest idea you've come up with in the past five minutes. You obviously need more coffee."
"But-"
"DRINK THE COFFEE, DAMN YOU!"
"Master Hand, shut up! This is obviously getting us nowhere!"
"Alright, what we need is a plan that will get us out of trouble, or land the trouble onto someone else. So, we'll probably need to be really, really slimy." Mewtwo said, looking thoughtful.
There were a few moments of silence as everyone thought about it.
"How 'bout we go on a vacation and leave some sucker in charge?" Zelda said.
"Hey…"
"That could work…"
"YEAH! We'll go on a vacation!"
"Not so loud!"
The door suddenly creaked open. Marth and Roy poked their heads in.
"Um, we couldn't help overhearing, but…"
"By the way, how do you spell 'extortion'?"
"You're in."
"YES!"
Master Hand stood up. "Right, I'll go get our passports, Mewtwo, you get the tickets and choose where we go. Marth, I hide the credit cards behind the picture of Crazy. Roy, start packing stuff. And Zelda, help me find a sucker…"
In the Lounge, Five Minutes Later…
Captain Falcon was watching T.V. as Zelda and Master Hand approached.
"Hey, Captain Falcon… Would you do us a great favor?" Zelda said, as cutely as possible.
Captain Falcon was dumbfounded. As long as he had known her, Zelda had had no interest in him. Either something was up, or Zelda really liked him. Being stupid, Captain Falcon figured the latter.
"What would you need?" Captain Falcon said, smiling.
"Well, me, Master Hand and several others are going to the Nintendo headquarters to see if we can get some money. And Master Hand needs someone to be in charge for a while. Would you please do us a great big favor and keep things under control for a while when we're gone?"
Captain Falcon was emotionally moved, for not only did Zelda like him, but that someone would trust him so much to leave him in charge for a while. He actually began to cry as Master Hand handed him a contract.
"Thank much so you. I take know I good care." He babbled, as he signed.
As Zelda and Master Hand left, Master Hand said to Zelda, "I think he bought it."
Captain Falcon did not hear this. He was too busy thinking of how well he would run things, and how Master Hand would finally respect him and no longer think of him as a sucker. He hugged the contract and tried to figure out who he would show first.
"Yep. Definitely bought it."
Darkwarrior17: Date completed: Oct. 29, 05. As you can see, I'm taking a different route and writing a bunch of chapters before I publish anything. I hope to lessen my workload this way. Also, I can update based on reviews. HA HA!