Title: Sacraments
Pairing: Demyx/Axel, mentions of Axel/Roxas
Warnings: Religion kink, underage activities, serious business. Oh, and a little priest kink.
Rating: R.
Word Count: 2500 or so
A/N: So here's the thing: This is actually a prequel to another set of stories that honestly can't be posted here. They've got some serious kink, but if this piques your interest feel free to hop on over to my LJ ~ click on the 'Our Fathers' fic tag. This series deals with some sensitive material given the current state of affairs with the Catholic Church, but it was a request from my BetaWife originally. To make it worse, I wrote most of them (and a lot of this) in my former apartment two blocks away from the Vatican.
Yes, I am surely going to hell – but I'm going in a Maserati, man. If you don't like the premise or the warnings turn you off, simply don't read it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I do get a kick out of writing for the fandom.
Axel was baptized in a small corner chapel of Saint Susanna of the Sacred Heart, a large church on the outskirts of the city. Monastic hymns filtered through the chapel, drowning out the sounds of the baptism in progress. There were no spectators or family in attendance of this sacrament, only the boy and his baptizer. Axel himself was twelve when this took place; it only fit that, since Axel rather distrusted the older priests vehemently, he was baptized not by a priest, but by a peer only a few months his senior. Axel found his sins annulled and forgiven not by the cleansing power of holy water, but in the soft press of another boy's lips against his.
Seated in the pews of the empty chapel, they were meant to be cleaning the altar and extinguishing the tiny votive candles while the priest had a meeting with some parishioners. They could hear the organist practicing down the hall, and in that place they shared their first kisses.
"It's ok, I know what to do," Axel says, bravado masking his uncertainty.
"Only mommies and daddies are supposed to," Demyx protests, "boys aren't supposed to kiss boys."
"But you already said you wanted to," Axel fires back, knowing Demyx is just looking for excuses. "You said you wanted to kiss me," he says a little quieter, disappointment creeping into his tone.
"What if someone sees, Axel?" Demyx demands. "We could get in trouble."
"They won't," Axel assures him, and leans in. "We won't," he adds, breath ghosting against Demyx's parted lips.
Axel's confirmation took place in a more private setting, two years and some months later. Demyx was closer to fifteen and Axel's room mate at their private Catholic school when Axel's wet dreams got really intense. An embarrassing circumstance for any other teenage boy, but Axel was incredibly lucky in this sense. The first time he had one in Demyx's presence, the older boy did not tease or mock him.
When he woke to Axel's dream-induced moans that night, he watched for a long while as Axel's head tossed on the pillow and his hips lifted in response to hands or imagined friction. His own arousal piqued, Demyx flung his blanket away and clambered into Axel's bed, climbing on top of the redhead and thrusting their hips together.
Axel woke with a start, panting and in full blush as he took in the sight of the older boy perched on top of him. Demyx put a finger to his lips to indicate silence, and Axel nodded shortly. Then the blonde leaned down to kiss Axel while rolling their hips together. In the last moments before they achieved orgasm Axel swore his undying teenage devotion to the kind and cruel god above him; though Axel would stray in the future it was condoned by his god with the understanding that Demyx would always have Axel's love.
"Demyx," Axel keens, his voice high and hitched with pleasure.
"It's ok," Demyx says reassuringly, kissing the side of Axel's face as he thrusts their hips together again. "It's a lot more intense when you've got someone on top of you, huh?"
Axel can barely think enough to string more than a few words together, much less an answer to a question. White-hot sensations are shooting up his spine from his groin as he and Demyx rub their still-clothed erections together. When Demyx shifts to straddle him Axel gasps as the older boy's thigh presses insistently against his throbbing cock. He can feel Demyx's erection against his hip, can feel its heat through their clothes. As if in apology Demyx moves his thigh away from Axel's groin leaving Axel to whimper at the loss, but only until the pressure of Demyx's leg is replaced by the touch of his long fingers reaching into Axel's sleep pants.
They don't speak much after that.
Even though they've both been taught throughout their lives that what they do together is a sin, neither Axel nor Demyx ever seek God's forgiveness in confession. This is their secret, and if God wants to watch that's His prerogative. Hope He enjoys the show, Axel would say.
Demyx giggles at this talk; Axel thinks he would probably like it if someone caught them when they snuck away into the hidden recesses during school hours. In fact, Axel's pretty sure that's exactly what Demyx is imagining when they quietly sneak into a confessional after the church has closed; he's seeing Father Even swinging open the cherry wood doors and staring as Demyx guides Axel's head in his lap, the weight of God's disapproval heavy in his gaze. There's no doubt that Demyx is waiting for someone to see, he'd confessed far too many sexual fantasies to his younger partner as they practiced their sin.
It was, very simply, just something about Demyx that Axel had discerned; the older boy was wholly willing to confess his deepest and most erotic fantasies as long as Axel's mouth was on his cock. And Axel, as confessor, would never decline the opportunity to hear his confessions.
Demyx moaned, his fingers threading and tightening in Axel's hair as he pushed him to take his cock deeper. Axel obliged, sucking the shaft and pressing his tongue to the underside, while the words begin tumbling from Demyx's mouth: erotic sounds, demands, secrets, Axel takes them all.
"Oh God, mmm your mouth is so hot, deeper . . . uhhhhgh that's it. I really, really wanna watch you fuck that little choir boy, what's his name, Z something, and I want him in his choir robes when you do it 'cuz that'd be hot, bet he's a screamer once you get his pants down . . ."
The Eucharist devised by Demyx was actually rather similar to the traditional Eucharist offered by their church every week; however while they did not feast upon bread and wine as the body and blood of Jesus they did feast upon each other. Axel had finally hit a growth spurt, and he used his new height advantage at every possible moment with Demyx, taking control of situations his friend formerly commanded. He could push Demyx's head down so he'd suck Axel off, and now when they tussled for positioning Demyx would 'entertain' Axel's newfound dominance when they moved together on the redhead's bed.
They were getting bolder too, making out in hidden corners or closets where teachers or other students might potentially find them. Axel was truly beginning to consider that Demyx might have a thing for voyeurism, and that maybe he wanted to get caught in the act.
Axel and Demyx both knew better than to really want that, though – just as Axel knew better than to take a pliant Demyx for granted.
When Axel captured Demyx's wrists and pinned them to the mattress on either side of the blond teenager's head, Demyx lifted his chin just slightly to indicate his acquiescence. Axel grinned and leaned in to lick and nip at the other boy's ear lobe, producing a shudder from the body below him. Straddling Demyx's hips, Axel ground against him, his eyelids fluttering at the jolts of pleasure firing through his spine. He was hot, so hot, and he wanted to come – then he suddenly thought, come with Demyx inside, and he nearly choked on the very air he was breathing.
'Fuck me,' he whispered, eyes glowing brightly in the dim lighting.
Demyx groaned deep in his throat, but shook his head. 'We're not ready,' he grunted. 'For that step.'
'But I want -'
'Shh. We can practice, though,' Demyx said with a secretive grin, reaching down into the crevice between his mattress and the wall and producing a dildo. 'Want to?'
Axel nodded vigorously, and Demyx pulled him down against his body.
Slick fingers and a well-lubed dildo, combined with Demyx thrusting against him from below, brought Axel to orgasm shortly thereafter, shouting the heavenly oaths he had come so used to using in prayer.
When the time was right, Demyx decided that they should be bonded in a ceremony that would bring them together physically and spiritually; they would make love to each other, claiming each other's bodies and souls for the other.
At first Axel had been apprehensive about this next step; until he thought about all of their transgressions and realized that one more sin wouldn't make much of a difference. So they both went about gathering their supplies for their consummation – a task easier said than done. If caught condoms and lubricant were a little difficult to explain, especially to a Sister. Nevertheless they succeeded.
Theirs was a solitary ceremony, witnessed only by the Lord and the four wall of their dormitory, the sounds of their ecstasy never leaving the enclosed space. Axel made no comments about His voyeurism, especially given this was such an important occasion.
The syllables flowing haltingly from Axel's mouth were tremulous, beautiful, and belonged only to Demyx. These were the sounds of a man possessed and in love, maybe with God or maybe even with the god Demyx played when he was sinking deeper into the redhead's tight, hot virgin channel.
"So, hot, fuck," Demyx panted as he pistoned his hips, hard and erratic thrusts signaling his imminent climax.
When Axel finally comes in Demyx's hand moments later, his blood is singing hallelujah in his ears, he thinks in that shining moment of divine pleasure that maybe this was the path to God. He lays with Demyx afterwards, holding him and contemplating this theory, wondering if everything he'd ever been taught by the church was wrong. Noticing his preoccupation Demyx begins teasing him again, touching and fondling him back to hardness.
Later, once they'd recovered, Demyx would allow Axel to fuck him, returning the promises of trust and eternal love as they completed their vows.
The day Axel and Demyx took their holy orders, the seminary where they'd been studying breathed a sigh of relief. The two had been regular troublemakers at the start, but now it appeared that the boys had become devout, religious-minded men, their hearts with God and His gifts.
Axel and Demyx, in turn, also breathed their own sighs of relief on that day; over the course of their many years, through Catholic school and Seminary, only two other people had become privy to the knowledge of their relationship. One was the choir boy Zexion, with whom they'd initiated in the same way Axel had been; the other was the Mother Superior at the adjacent convent, who, upon finding the troublesome two sneaking around the convent in nuns' habits, had blackmailed them into performing for her. However it seemed she had grown bored with them, for she no longer brought up the situation.
Upon taking their holy orders however both Axel and Demyx were informed that their apprenticeships would take them to different parts of the country. They'd been expecting this, and took the opportunity as a chance to grow – however with the promise that what they had shared would never reach another's ears, that they would keep their private sins between themselves and themselves alone.
Demyx found Axel the night after the ceremony kneeling at the altar where, not hours before, they had stood with their fellow now-priests taking their holy orders. Head bent in supplication Axel was obviously praying, and Demyx was overcome for a moment, realizing now how they had become such an integral part of each other's lives, had grown to welcome the other's presence as one does a shadow.
Demyx laid a comforting hand on Axel's shoulder and, rather than making the sign of the cross as would be expected, leaned in and kissed Axel fully on the lips, distracting him away from his prayers. Then they came together, as two parts become whole – and their union was perfection incarnate.
Then Axel, Demyx thought years later, fucked it all up. He fucked it all up, and some blond brat replaced Demyx in Axel's heart.
Demyx administered their last rights silently after Axel told him of his decision to leave the Church; they'd long been falling away from each other, but with each word the reality of Axel's choice sunk in deeper and deeper. The younger man remained firm in his speech, his staunch faith in the much younger boy now evident to Demyx's ears.
Demyx was utterly horrified; what the hell was Axel doing, throwing away his life and future like it didn't matter in the slightest – like he'd do it again, a thousand times over? He wanted to rage at his best friend and former lover and call him coward, traitor, Judas, weak, idiot – but it appeared that not even those charges would simply fall from his ears. He knew Axel was no pedophile, this boy was a case all unto himself. Unique. Special.
Axel's . . . messiah, perhaps, if Demyx was feeling generous. Temptation, most likely. It was the question of reconciling those two that gave Demyx problems.
'I don't believe this,' Demyx hissed as Axel turned to walk away, 'you're going to give everything – your life, your church, your faith, me – for some kid?'
'He's not just 'some kid' Demyx, and you know it,' Axel said quietly as he packed up his office, now in his regular clothes – jeans and a nice button-down, he was still in church. 'He's different.'
'He left you,' Demyx reminded him. 'As I recall he said, and I quote, 'fuck off, I never want to speak to you again.' Sounds like an awesome kid, Axel. You'll make a wonderful couple.'
'That was because I was behaving hypocritically. I could not have both in this situation, Demyx. I have to choose.'
'Relationships aren't meant to be born or based on illicit trysts in confessionals. Not only are you violating His expectations of us, you're violating rules of common sense.'
'I love him, Dem.'
'You're being foolish.'
'I'm being honest.'
'Don't come crawling back to me when he beats your ass for going to see him.'
'I won't,' Axel promised, and sealed the last box. He looked over at Demyx and they shared a strange, stilted pause; they'd known each other for so long they didn't have much need for words any more.
And so Axel left, leaving his parish and life as a priest behind. Demyx did hear from him from time to time, but it was never to complain about his woes or to beg his forgiveness; in fact, Demyx could tell Axel was happy.
That was all he needed.