Prison.

That's where I am, where I've been for the past month, and where I will be for quite a while. I don't like it here. The people scare me. They threaten me and I can't say anything back. Actually, I can't say anything at all. Remember that throat infection I had about a year ago? Well it came back and this time the doctors told me that my vocal chords were too damaged for me to ever talk again. That's what got me into this mess.

I didn't know what I was doing. I just wanted to feel better. I didn't know how much it would hurt her. I never meant for her to die. All I wanted was for her to be like me. Mute.

Jade.

My best friend was also my first victim, my only victim. I was upset about never speaking again. Scratch that, I was upset about never singing again. I could deal with learning how to communicate through sign language or even using that special phone app Lane showed me. It was knowing that I'd never be able to sing again that turned me into an emotional train wreck. I went to Jade's house one day after school, hoping she could cheer me up but all she wanted to do was read a stupid novel.

Flashback

Jade had been sitting on her couch for over half an hour, eyes never leaving the printed pages in her hands. I furiously scribbled the words 'How much longer are you going to read, Jadey?' on the dry-erase board that I was using to communicate and shoved it in front of her face.

She took a moment to read it and replied, "Let me just finish this chapter." Then she turned her attention back to the book and read the last few sentences aloud. "Darrel dragged me into a plain looking room with nothing more than a coat of white paint decorating the walls. After securing me to a chair so I wouldn't escape, he turned around and left. For hours, I sat there alone until the lights suddenly switched off, blackening the room. I heard a slight buzzing sound in my right ear. 'Are you in?' his voice crackled in my earpiece. I paused for a moment, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness.

"'I'm in.'

"There Cat, I'm all done. Happy now?" I would have been happy, yes, but when she read all that aloud I was overcome with jealousy. It reminded me of how I could never, ever talk again. I tried to hold them back but the tears found a way to escape my eyes. "Cat? What's wrong?" Jade asked me. I didn't feel like writing it down so I didn't answer at all. Then, in an effort to make me stop crying, she started to sing to me. Normally I would have appreciated this gesture but now it just made me feel worse. She could sing…she could sing and I couldn't.

I tried motioning for her to stop but she didn't. Oh, how I wish she would have stopped, then she might still be here. Instead she kept on singing, song after song after song until I had had enough. I just had to make her stop. I completely lost control and grabbed the closest thing to me, Jade's favorite pair of scissors. The ones with the extra sharp blades. Before she had time to react, before I had time to think, I reached my hand inside her mouth, grabbed her tongue, and, using all of my strength, cut it out. I immediately felt better, we could be mute together, but my relief was quickly replaced with regret. What had I done?

Blood. So much blood.

Did you know if someone loses too much of their blood they die? You did? Really? Because I didn't. I watched in shock as the gooey red liquid flowed from Jade's mouth. It wasn't long before her skin became ghostly pale and her body fell limp. I ran. I ran and I ran and I ran, never once looking back, until I was at my house, in my bedroom. Safe, for now.

Soon the news of Jade's death had spread like wildfire. They all thought it was suicide, that she did it to herself. Only I knew the truth and the guilt was becoming too much for me to bear. So, I went to Robbie, the only person that I could trust. Standing on his front porch, the wind tossing my hair, I rang the doorbell. A few moments later the door opened, revealing a saddened Robbie. "Did you hear?" He paused for a second then added, "About Jade?" I was the first to know, but of course Robbie didn't know that, no one did, so I just nodded. He pulled me in for a hug and we stayed like that for a while, tears streaming down both our faces. It felt good, like he was going to protect me, like, in his arms, nothing could ever hurt me. It was at that moment that I realized my feelings for him. I'd known he had liked me, I mean, come on, it was so obvious. I just never thought I'd feel the same about him, but I did.

He led me inside and told me to sit down. I did and he walked into another room, returning a minute later with a notebook and a pen. Looking at them, I remembered that I'd left my dry-erase board at Jade's house. Jade. I had almost forgotten why I was there in the first place. I had to tell Robbie the truth. I couldn't keep this from him. Without wasting any time I took the items from him and wrote down everything, the whole story. When I was finished I slid the notebook across the table so he could read it. He stared at the paper for what seemed like forever before he finally looked at me. "You-you killed her?" I nodded.

After a few moments he stood up and reached for the phone on the nearby counter. As he dialed he walked into the living room so I wouldn't hear what he said. When he came back, he looked at me, eyes full of sorrow. He pulled me into another hug as he said, "I called the police, Cat. It's for your own good. They can help you. It's going to be okay." I could hear it in his voice that he really, truly believed that.

End Flashback

"Hey redhead," I turn around and come face to face with Riley, the meanest, toughest girl in all of California. I wave at her and smile feebly. "Something wrong?" she asks in mock concern. "Cat got your tongue?" The tears welled up in my eyes once again.

No, but she got Jade's.