Going Batty
((A dark room, dirty and unkempt. A lamp is on in front of a mirror, where a man sits, staring into it.))
You were in the news again today.
Both of you.
Why are you so focused on him? He's scum; you know that. Why don't you just kill him?
((Pauses, thinking.))
But you won't, will you?
You'd rather protect the life of that… that… that guy! Rather than the lives of innocent people, people… people like us!
((Pauses again, calms))
I could kill him.
((longer pause, fingers a gun, wide eyed. Licks his lips and breathes shakily))
He's inhuman… but I bet he bleeds like we do. One shot should do it. In the head.
The chest wouldn't do.
Scum like him don't have hearts.
((tone gets lighter))
They say that you're scum. That we should call the cops on sight.
You're doing all their work.
((Pause))
I could help you, you know.
It can't be so hard.
I mean… what makes you so different from me?
Apart from… nobody knows who you are.
Where you live.
What you eat.
Nobody cares.
((Pause))
I could be like that. Like you.
What makes you so different?
It could be me… in your suit.
And I could kill him. Drown him in the slime he was born from.
A bad Joker-
-Joke, I mean.
A bad joke.
That's all he is.
My boss won't get off my case.
Says I should work out more; I'm too fat.
Says I should cut down on the food, I haven't had a date in years.
Hah.
You don't have to worry about that. You may be one of the Most Wanted, but there's no way you'd have trouble getting a date. There isn't a girl around that wouldn't, if you know what I mean. You'd just have to take off that mask and that suit first – not hockey pads, I know – and I can't see that happening for anyone.
I could be like that. Because we aren't so different.
We both hide, though you just hide your face and your voice.
We're both hated, though it's never been my fault, and you don't deserve it.
Nobody knows who we really are, though… it's not like they'd care. I don't really need to explain that one, do I?
I'm smarter, but you're faster. I could kill that madman easily, but you can't… then again, I can't see myself lasting long against Gotham's Finest.
((Pauses, thinks))
We'd make a great team. I mean, we've already met.
You remember.
We'd be a good team because we aren't so different. But… Batman works alone, doesn't he- I mean, you?
It'd be neat, being your sidekick. I could do that! I'm not fit, but it can't be that hard, and I'd do it!
((Looks out window, pauses, tone of voice turns to admiration))
You're a symbol that… we don't have to be scared… afraid, of scum like him.
I will be like that.
((Stands, puts mask over face. Leaves room, determined. Lights turn off. Through the window, a bat-shaped floodlight shines against low clouds.))