This story takes place two weeks after the Season 4 Finale. CHANGES: Debbie Pelt didn't break into Sookie's house, Tara didn't get killed (and turned), and Bill and Eric didn't stake Nan Flanagan. Sookie is back to waitressing at Merlotte's and doesn't have anybody's death on her hands, Bill is back to being the mopey King of Louisiana, and Eric is back to sexily brooding at Fangtasia. You know, same old, same old.

There is no smut in this prologue, only mentions of sex. After this, though, expect regular lemons, so if you're under 18, immature, or likely to report me, consider this your warning. You will be reading erotica, so turn back now if you don't want to.

These characters were created by Charlaine Harris and, to a lesser extent, Alan Ball, both of whom are slowly fucking them up. Mentions of show plotlines belong to HBO, but the rest of the plot is my own.

PROLOGUE

Two weeks.

It had been two weeks since Sookie Stackhouse had given both me and Compton our walking papers. Two week since I'd last seen her, smelled her, tasted her. Two weeks since I'd last been inside her, or any woman, for that matter.

Hell, it'd been two weeks since I'd last seen my balls. As far as I could tell, I'd left them at Sookie's house.

Since then, I'd been fluctuating wildly between emotional states, something I hadn't done since I was around 400 years old. I used to pride myself on being able to compartmentalize my feelings and maintain an excellent poker face. Of course, Sookie didn't give a fuck what I took pride in; she destroyed any advantages I'd built up for myself over the years the moment she walked into my bar on Compton's arm. After that, any semblance of control I still managed to hold over myself shattered a little over two weeks ago when I first slid myself inside her.

After she sent me away, I generally found myself in one of two intense emotional states. The first one was an overcompensation for my loss of control and involved me violently lashing out at any underling who dared approach me. It succeeded in striking fear into the undead hearts of lesser vampires and perverse desire into the hearts of the fangbangers, and helped re-establish me as someone to be respected and obeyed. Not that everyone knew that a delectable fairy waitress had used me for my (impressive) cock, but word had spread that the Sheriff of Area 5 had lost his memory for a brief period of time. Many weaker vampires were eager to see if I had lost my touch, and when I mercilessly lashed out, it helped convince them that I was still a capable sheriff.

It was therefore equally important that I hide myself away in my office every time my second mood struck, because it was a sulking, pouting beast the likes of which I had never felt before. It wasn't like the deep depression I had gone into after Godric met the sun, but only because I knew that Sookie was still alive and well. She came across as sad through the blood bond I shared with her. Her sadness sometimes overwhelmed me to the point where I considered flying to Bon Temps to comfort her, but she had made that particular bed, and now she had to lie in it. So I remained in my office each night, and that was where I found myself now when Pam entered without knocking.

"Eric," she greeted me.

"Pamela," I responded. My progeny had been my only source of comfort these past few weeks, for I did not trust anyone else with the knowledge of my emotional turmoil. The fog that had clouded my judgment outside the Moon Goddess Emporium had lifted, and I had forgiven Pam for saving my life after I had so foolishly and unnecessarily put it on the line. That Sookie was able to override one thousand years of survival instinct spoke volumes about her sway over me.

"You're still upset," said Pam. It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"I don't enjoy seeing you like this. It's not like you, Eric. You're acting like a lovesick, whiny teenager. If I didn't know that it would cause you more pain, I would've already drained that little fairy bitch dry for what she's done to you."

I dropped fang and snarled at her, knowing she meant every word. She raised her hands up in a gesture of surrender and continued.

"But since that's not an option, I figured I should get you two together. You're starting to actually frighten the vermin with your mood swings, and I'm hoping a few rounds with her magic cunt will put you back to rights."

My ears perked up at her suggestion of Sookie and I together, as did my cock at the mention of being back inside Sookie's luscious warmth. "What do you propose?"

"You court her. Or, as they're calling it these days, you 'date' her."

"Absolutely not," I replied immediately. "I'm Eric fucking Northman. I seduce. I do not court. And I most certainly do not date. Why make the effort when women are quite willing to fall into my bed after a little seduction?"

"How's that working out with Sookie?" Pam snarked, rolling her eyes at me.

My Child had a point. Sookie had only yielded to me after I stopped trying to seduce her, after I lost my memory and my craving for her submission.

After a pause, I said, "I'm listening."

"Ginger has recommended Dear Abby as an effective source of relationship advice, so I took it upon myself to look for anything that might help you. Apparently many of today's human women prefer to be taken out repeatedly on dates before having sex with a partner. This confirms, in their mind, that he or she is interested in more than just sex with them. No one can deny that sex with you is incredible, Eric, but I believe Sookie wants a relationship." I could practically hear her disdain dripping from the word.

I mulled this over. "I've been trying to convey to her that I want her to be completely mine, just as I'd be completely hers, if she'd let me."

Pam made a retching noise that I pointedly ignored. "Yes, but using sex to convey that you want more than sex doesn't work, according to Dear Abby. You need to court her, Eric."

"Does sex factor in eventually?" Because I hadn't had it since our lovely shower, and though all other sex had become undesirable to me, I could only go without for so long.

"If you do this right, then yes."

"Excellent. I want a chance to have her while in my right mind. I am naturally gifted, but I wasn't performing with my thousand years' worth of sexual experience when she let me into her bed."

My progeny smirked at me. "Just don't rush it, though, or she'll reject you again, and I don't want you pouting around the bar for another month. Now, let's go over how you're supposed to propose this to her."

I could have kissed Pam at that point, if displays of affection were common between us. Instead, I sent gratitude through our bond as she sat down to help me draw up a plan. "First order of business: when she finally lets you back between her legs, don't fuck it up by gloating. I know that's what you're going to do, don't give me that look. Your 'you finally yielded to me' shit isn't going to do anything but make her angry, and pissed-off fairies seem to favor their microwave fingers."

Even when she used air quotes, Pam was brilliant. I nodded to her to show that I understood (although I would never fully understand women), and as she continued to educate me on courtship, I began to feel an almost predatory sense of glee. Soon enough, I would have Sookie Stackhouse in my arms again… and this time, I would never let her go.

I'm actually so excited to write this story. It's my first one for True Blood, and once I write the initial Eric-and-Sookie-get-together fic, it can pave the way for all sorts of delicious one-shots and spinoffs! Yay!