He hadn't meant it.
The news that everyone from Castle Oblivion had been eliminated had been unfortunate, but it hadn't really affected Xigbar much. They were Nobodies, they weren't supposed to exist anyway, so what did it matter if someday they just stopped?
No, their destruction hadn't impacted Xigbar.
But it had taken a toll on Demyx.
The kid had always seemed to think that they as Nobodies were indestructible for some reason, that their missions, while dangerous, really couldn't lead to their demise. So while he really didn't care much for the members who had gone to CO, he couldn't seem to get past the fact that they were gone.
The questions that morning were endless.
"Did you know this could happen?"
"How much does it take for us to be destroyed?"
"Do you think that will happen to us?"
By the time Roxas wandered into the Grey Area, Xigbar was wishing Saix would just show up and give Demyx a mission as far away from him as possible.
Roxas was almost as bad, although he didn't even seem to understand what it meant. Xigbar felt like ripping his hair out as he did his best to explain.
"So do you think any of them are coming back?" Roxas had asked, wide eyed.
"As if. If they went to Castle Oblivion, they're gone. Done. No more."
"I'm glad I didn't go." Demyx chimed in weakly, and Xigbar's patience ran out.
"I wish you had." He snapped, and Demyx flinched.
Roxas opened his mouth again, but they were all interrupted by Saix and sent on their missions. Demyx seemed to have recovered by that night, and Xigbar put the exchange out of his head.
Now it was echoing loudly, painfully throughout his mind. The news of Demyx's extermination had hit hard, even if it wasn't exactly unexpected.
Had Demyx remembered what he had said as he disappeared?
He hadn't meant it.
Now it was too late to take it back.