"Brendan, I know you're in there." He knocked on the door with his balled up hand. "I'm sorry. Man, I'm so sorry." The young man continued to knock and profusely apologize through the door. "I didn't mean what I said back there. It was just… it was just the heat of the moment!" Taking a deep breath Terry rested his hand on the cool surface of the wooden door. To him it was more than a door. It was a reminder of the mistakes he had made, of the things he had said, at the Cave of Origin. The heat of the cavern was intense, blistering the skin on their arms and neck. Static hung in the air with the occasional flash of electricity coursing through the air. Primal Groudon stood before both Terry and Brendan, readying itself for its next attack. The ghost master's Golurk stood between the two parties arms stretched wide to receive the full brunt of the attack. Brendan you have to get out of here! You're just going to get yourself hurt! The 18 year old looked at him and shook his head in defiance. He was not going to leave his friend to face this thing alone. Running was not an option, it had to be defeated or Hoenn - or worse- would be destroyed. You think you know what you're doing, that you're a pokemon trainer. But you're not, Brendan! An all too familiar ache began to grow in his stomach. Brendan, you're a coordinator! Get out of here! Leave this to me and Golurk! Groudon roared and a trail of rock spires erupted from the ground almost immediately heading in the direction of the blue giant! Golurk, iron defense! Terry shouted as he lunged at Brendan to protect him from the blast, ignoring the cry of pain from his friend as he crushed his broken arm. Brendan! I'm not fucking joking! Get out of here! He yanked his friend to his feet and gave him a menacing look. Brendan, you think you can do these things but you just can't! The last thing he remembered was the broken look etched on Brendan's face; eyes widened by shock.
Terry tried to knock on the door once more but could not bring himself to do so. They were meant to be friends, the best of, since they had traveled the Hoenn region over eight years ago together. To other Brendan came off as a cheerful and confident young man; always ready to face the next day with a smile and a bounce in his step. Terry knew different though. On one of many nights Brendan had brought up his biggest insecurity, his only insecurity, and shared how it affected him with Terry. This information was private and he was the only one privy to it. He had shared how it made him feel, how he would cry about it in bed until he fell asleep. Back at the Cave of Origin Terry had unknowingly crossed a line. The very same live that he had managed to push back time and time again with his words of encouragement and validation. A line he vowed to never touch and steer clear of. Unfortunately that was not the case. Out of rage born from hesitation Terry had snapped out at his friend and hit him where he really hurt. "Brendan, please, can we talk about this?"
"There's nothing to talk about." Terry looked up and half expected the door to be open, but Brendan was a stubborn young man. "I'm ok. Don't waste your time." His voice came out monotone yet bitter.
"Brendan, we both know that's a fucking lie." Terry pretend to scoff and gently knocked on the door again. "I know you're hurting because of me. And I want to make things right. At least give me a chance, trust me."
"Trust you?" Brendan opened the door; eyes sad and sunken in. "I've trusted you before and look how it turned out. You lied to me. You said you'd always be there for me and then you go and pull that stunt." Terry tried his hardest to not yell back in defense as Brendan himself was not yelling. "Now please, leave me alone. I can handle this by myself." He made his way back and attempted to close the door just as Terry quickly wedged his foot in between to keep it propped open.
"No, no you can't, Brendan. You think you can do these things on your own but you just can't." The painful words echoed once more and Terry felt bad for using them again. It was true though. Brendan could not handle this problem alone. It was about way more than a simple slip up in the cave. Way heavier than the rocks that tumbled and crashed on their way down from the cavern's overhead. A problem that singed way more than the heat in that damned cave could ever accomplish. "Now please, I'm sorry." The plea fell on deaf ears as Brendan dropped his gaze and turned towards his bed. "Brendan, please, just talk to me man." Terry grabbed his friend's good arm and pulled him back.
"Let go of me!" Brendan tried his hardest to pull away but Terry was both older and stronger than him. His attempts at freedom were in vain for he was determined to talk to him, and Brendan only had one arm that was not broken.
"You've got to stop leaving me out of things buddy. I know how you get. And I'm sorry." Brendan fought back as Terry brought him in close for an embrace. He tried his hardest to push against him, break free from his grasp. He fought valiantly but eventually caved in when Terry spoke. "Brendan, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. You're more than just a coordinator, you're a pokemon trainer. And even then, you're my friend." As he spoke Brendan's eyes frantically scanned the room for something to focus on. Something that would allow him to block out what Terry was saying, it brought up feelings of pain. "Brendan, I can't stress this enough. I'm sorry, man. I know what it's like to feel like I'm not good enough, that I still have to-"
"You not good enough? You're a goddamn elite four member, with a type handicap!" Brendan's remark was cheeky and his voice was filled with that same sassy tone that Terry had grown accustomed to hearing. He smiled down at the younger male and Brendan just looked up with wide awe inspired eyes; blushing at the sudden outburst.
"Now those are the eyes I remember." Terry chuckled as he gave Brendan a light noogie ruffling up his hair. He laughed at the "do" that he had given him and Brendan just pushed him back.
"It's not funny, jerk." Brendan quickly brushed his hair down with hand and returned to his bed. Taking a seat next to him Terry put an arm around his shoulder.
"So, you wanna talk about this, or should we play with your pokedolls instead?" Brendan punched Terry as hard as he could with his left had, he was right handed. "Ow, haha, don't hit me." He feigned pain at the sorry excuse for a strike.
"They're not mine! I'm holding them for May!" Brendan smiled at the expression of disbelief that Terry gave him as he pointed to the Swablu plush lying at the head of the bed. "Ok, maybe just that one is mine."
"Sure it is, man." They both laughed. Terry continued laughing, having not noticed that Brendan had stopped a minute earlier. Placing a hand on his friend's shoulder he looked up at the ceiling. "So you going to tell me what's wrong?" Brendan looked away, ashamed to be back in the position of his youth. "Brendan, no need to keep it in. Besides, they're's nothing you can't tell me. Remember that." The younger boy took a deep breath and lied perpendicular to the bed to stare up at the ceiling.
"You already know the story, Terry." Brendan cleared his throat and grabbed his beaten Swablu doll.
"Refresh my memory, Bren." He cringed at the nickname but quickly felt relieve wash over him. No matter how ridiculous the name it always managed to have that affect on him; feeling loved.
"You know how I'm not really a pokemon trainer? How I'm more of a coordinator? I love pokemon contests and showing them off more than battling with them." He looked his toy right in the button eyes. "My dad, Norman, is the gym leader of Petalburg City and he never really wanted me to be a coordinator. He always said that he had asked for a son, but that he instead got… me." His voice wavered at the end. Terry helped the younger boy sit up by grabbing his good arm. "There was a time that I gave up pokemon contests to become more like my dad. But I could never quit get to his level. On those rare times he'd come home he would always talk about May. May this, May that, May's the greatest. He'd completely overlook me."
"I know, Bren. And that's a terrible thing to do to your kids. Make them feel inadequate." Brendan was clutching the faux Swablu even harder now, feeling ridiculous and immature for clinging onto a toy at the age of 18, a doll no less. But this doll, this toy, was his source of comfort when he had no one around him. He was glad that it was Terry who was with him right now for if it had been anyone else he would have quickly discarded the stupid toy.
"Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. That's why I tried so hard to impress him. I wanted him to have a son he could be proud of, not one he was embarrassed to talk about." If Brendan had clutched that toy even harder the poor thing's eyes would have shot right off. By now he was beginning to tremble while Terry held on to him. "It's like… no- no matter what I d-do. N-no matter where I-I go. I'll-ll never be good enough-f…" He fought back the tears that had started to leak from his eyes.
"There there, let it out Brendan. You're doing fine." Terry rubbed circles on his back and held him there next to him. "No need to hold it in." They sat there as the boy continued to cry, sob like he had when they were 12 and 16 year old camping out underneath the trees and starry skies. As Brendan cried his breathing hitched and he hiccuped with enough force to send a few stray tears unto the toy Swablu, staining the old toy and giving it the impression of weeping. They sat together like that, Terry holding him close, for about 25 minutes. The whole time Brendan would mutter words of gratitude like 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you, you're my brother.'
"I-I think I'm done now." Brendan sniffed as he wiped his nose on his sleeve, a trail of green mucus bridging between; only to be wiped on his shirt.
"Haha, dude! So gross." Both boys laughed and Brendan wiped his face with the clean side of his hand. "You feeling better now? And I'm sorry dude. I promise it won't happen again." Brendan looked up and gave his friend a smile.
"Yeah, thanks, Terry. I really appreciate it man. Only you would be as stubborn as to keep banging on my door."
"I do it 'cause I care about you, Brendan. I love you. Never forget that." Brendan blushed at the words of intimacy. "You're my brother and we'll always stick it through until the end. Nothing can ever tear us apart." Brendan began to get teary eyed. "Aw dude, don't tell me you're going to cry again. Haha, you just finished." Terry pretended to get up and head for the door. "Naw, just messing with you. But remember this, we will always be friends, and I will always be there for you. Even though I may not act like it sometimes, I really do care about you. So we good?"
"Yeah, we good." Their shared fist bump being the official sealing of the deal. "What time is it, I'm starved."
"I think it's around dinner time. And after what you just went through I'd be surprised if you weren't hungry." Both boys laughed and Terry helped Brendan get up from the bed. The younger boy was about to open the door when the older called out to him and wrapped him in a hug once again.
"Thanks, Terry."
"Any time buddy, any time."