Disclaimer – yeah yeah, none of this is my intellectual property short of the plot such as it is and the 'insights' into the characters.
Today it was Nagi who unlocked my room and undid the straitjacket before he stumbled to the bathroom for his morning shower. I got to the kitchen for a bowl of semi-liquid milky porridge and watched our intrepid leader. In my more lucid moments I watch Bradley Crawford. It's the small things that are the most intriguing about him. He comes across as a callous manipulative and calculating bastard. He is, too, but not entirely.
He sits at the kitchen table, cradling his plain coffee mug in the palms of his hands and staring at the table surface. After a while I noticed that he loves to hold things when relaxing, usually a mug of coffee, a newspaper or his pocket square. Warmth and softness appeal to him it seems, although he'd die rather than admit it.
It occurs to me that since Crawford runs on discipline and keeps we three at a distance he needs some sort of human surrogate. He has a warm mug instead of a loving embrace, CDs and books instead of fulfilling conversation. A thing is reassurance, a comforting presence that demands nothing in return, holds no secrets over your head as blackmail and is not an emotional weak spot like a human is. No enemy, no matter how deranged would try taking Crawford's mug hostage.
Sometimes it's very easy to imagine child Brad and wonder exactly what it was that happened to leave him so damaged. What did Estet do to break him?
-He'd kill you if he could hear this train of thought.-
-True.- I reply softly to a real voice in my head. –But then, the truth hurts. – Schu laughed softly within my head, silently agreeing.