The Gundam Team's Day Off 2: The Bad Hair Day!
By: Gengar and Dewgong
Rating: G
Genre: Comedy!
Here's a little work made primarily by the OTHER author, Gengar (a.k.a. Author #2). Enjoy dudes!
(In a scary looking house in the mountains, a man is seen laughing crazily.)
???: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! I will get my revenge on all those who have hair! I, Mr. Clean, will rule over all the baldies! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
(Thunder flashes in background.)
Mr. Clean: HAHAHAHA!!
(Lightening strikes Mr. Clean.)
Mr. Clean: Fried or extra crispy... ugh... ***faints***
~IN DALLAS, TEXAS~
(The Gundam Team is seen in a van driving toward a Monty Python Convention.)
Heero: ***driving*** Darn Texas... pretty darn dry here...
Quatre: o/' 85 Bottles of Coke on the Wall! 85 Bottles of Coke! Take one down, pass it around, 84 Bottles of Coke on the Wall! o/'
Wufei: Not this weak song again! INJUSTICE!!! ***turns on GameBoy and plays The Smurf's Mighty Adventure 3: The Waterfall's Revenge***
Duo: ***stiffling a laugh*** Wow, Wufei! Great choice in gaming! What a MANLY game! ***bursts into laughter***
Wufei: I will not have my gaming selection be insulted by this weakling! INJUSTICE!!
Trowa: ...python...
Heero: Eh? What about Monty Python?
Trowa: No... big... python... huge jaws... dangerous...
Quatre: o/' 79 Bottles of Coke on the wall! 79 Bottles of... o/' What do you see Trowa?
Trowa: ***pales*** Huge... python... at... 6 o'clock...
Duo: What? ***looks through the rear window*** Oh {censored}!! HEERO, DRIVE!!!
Heero: ***looks at rear veiw mirror, then speeds up considerably***
(The snake behind the Gundam Gang's van is about 54 feet long, and 7 feet wide, with 15 inch fangs.)
Wufei: ***turns off GameBoy and looks out the rear window*** WEAKLING!!! YOU CAN'T CATCH US!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Huge Python: What?!?!?! I'll show you! ***speeds up and wraps around the van***
Heero: {censored} {censored} {censored} WUFEI!!!!!!!
Wufei: Hmph!
Duo: We need to get rid of this thing! I know! Wufei, SING!!
Wufei: Hmph! Singing is for weaklings!
Duo: Wanna be a dead weakling?
Wufei: Oh, okay! Just ONCE!! o/' Row, row, row your boat, gently down the streeeaaaaaaaammmm!!! Merrilyyyyyy, Merrilyyyy, Merrilyyy, Merilyyyyyy!!! Life is but a DREEEEEEAAAAAAMM!!! o/'
Huge Python: GAAAAAAAHHH!!! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!! NOOOOO!!! ***slithers away***
Heero: That was close. ***continues driving***
~5 HOURS LATER~
Heero: We're here.
Duo: WOOOOOOO!!
Trowa: Uh, oh...
(Relena runs up.)
Relena: Heero! I didn't know you liked Monty Python!
(A giant foot lands on Relena.)
Quatre: Heero, were did you get that large foot?
Heero: I have my ways.
Duo: Cool! This foot says, 'Made in Antarctica'!
Wufei: Antarctica is weak!
Penguin: ***walks up*** Hey! ***beats up Wufei***
Trowa: Listen to this! ***holds up radio***
Radio: And now the penguin beating up a Chinese boy will explode!
(Penguin explodes, sending Wufei into the sky.)
Wufei: Looks like Wufei is blasting off again! *DING*
Trowa: (To radio) How did you know that!?
Radio: Just a lucky guess! ***disappears***
Trowa: NOOOO!! My FM/AM RADIO!!!
Heero: Just buy another one!
Duo: ***with handkerchief on his head*** WEEEEE!!
Quatre: ***wearing a bowler hat*** WOOOHOOO!! ***does a silly walk***
Wufei: ***lands on the ground, making a Wufei-shaped hole*** Hmph! ***slaps Trowa with a salmon***
Trowa: ***slaps Wufei with a huge bass***
Heero: Yeesh... ***walks off to the convention***
Relena: ***underneath foot*** Hey! Heero! Help meeee!!
Duo: ***in Nester voice*** Ha-ha! ***sillywalks off to the convention***
~IN THE CONVENTION~
Heero: I've never seen so many handkerchiefs in my entire life...
Duo: Ditto...
Wild Ditto: ***slithers up to Duo*** Dit Ditto Ditto?
Duo: I wasn't talking to you!
Wild Ditto: Dittoooo... ***slithers away***
Wufei: Blobs are weak!
Wild Ditto: DITTO!!! ***transforms into Altron***
Wufei: Nataku!! How are... OOOUUUCH!!! ***gets stomped by Ditto/Altron***
Wild Ditto: ***transforms back*** Dit-TOOO!! ***slithers off***
Duo: I'm hungry!
Quatre: Let's look at that restaurant over there!
(The Gundam Gang walks over to the restaurant.)
Quatre: It serves nothing but Spam!
Duo: What about Spaghetti-Os?
Wufei: NOOOOOOO!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE NAME, SPAGHETTI-OS, EVER AGAIN!!! GAAAAAAAH!!!
Duo: Ooookaaay...
Heero: I like Spam...
Relena: ***runs up*** You do? OUCH!! ***gets hit with a waffle and falls unconscious***
Trowa: I think you've gone too far this time, Heero...
Heero: She needed it. Anyway, knowing her, she should be fine, right Duo? Duo?
Duo: ***eating a lot of Spam*** Urp! This is pretty good!
Wufei: SPAM IS WEAK!! GAAAH!! ***gets beat up by a bunch of Vikings***
Vikings: o/' SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM!! o/'
Quatre: I'll look at the menu... Spam, Bacon, and Spam... Span, Eggs, Spam, and Spam... Cheese, Eggs, Spam, Bacon, Spam, and Spam... WHAT DOESN'T HAVE SPAM?!?!
Waitress: Nothing...
Quatre: I'll just eat nothing then...
Trowa: Hey... my fork is a bit dirty!
Heero: ***stops eating and has a scared look on his face***
~AT MR. CLEAN'S HIDEOUT~
Mr. Clean: Hmmm... maybe I can strike Dallas, Texas first! I heard they're having a Monty Python convention down there! Bwahahahahahaha!!
(Lightning strikes Mr. Clean again.)
Mr. Clean: ...I've got to put up a lightening rod outside... ugh... ***faints***
~OUTSIDE THE MONTY PYTHON CONVENTION~
Quatre: Well that was fun.
Duo: Yup!!
Heero: ...
Trowa: Why are you making the little dots?
Duo: Like you HAVEN'T Mr. Silence!
Trowa: ...
Heero: Vacume... huge... run...
Trowa: Are you insulting me!?!?
Heero: RUN!! GAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
(The vacume sucks all the Gundam Pilots up.)
Bus Driver: ***operating vacume with a remote*** Gotcha! ***hits a button on the vacume that causes it to shrink into a GameBoy*** HAHAHA!! Gundamon!
Background Voice: Gotta catch 'em all!
Bus Driver: WEEEEEEE!!! A wild OZ Pilot! Gotta catch it!
-GAME BOY MODE-
BusDr: Go, WUFEI!
Wild OZ PILOT used GUN ATTACK
WUFEI used GAAAH!! ATTACK
Wild OZ PILOT's defense lowered!
Wild OZ PILOT used SLAP
WUFEI used INJUSTICE ATTACK
Wild OZ PILOT fainted!
WUFEI gained 435 EXP
WUFEI raised to level 18! Attack=14 Defense=15 Special=8 Speed=45 HP=145/145
-GAME BOY MODE OFF-
Bus Driver: DARN!! I wanted that OZ Pilot! Oh well! Wufei raised a level!
~INSIDE GAME BOY~
Heero: I thought these things were nothing but programming and electronics...
Duo: I told you people lived in these things!
Wufei: INJUSTICE!! INJUSTICE!! INJUSTICE!!
Quatre: Thank lord we didn't get sucked into The Smurf's Mighty Adventure 3: The Waterfall's Revenge!
Wufei: Hmph!
Trowa: We must find a way out of here.
Heero: Maybe we should go through that door over there.
Duo: Wha? ***sees the door*** Cool beans!
~AT THE OUTHOUSE~
Mystical Cactus: Hey! That's my line!
Author #2: Shut up! This isn't your scene!
Mystical Cactus: Darn! Hey...
Author #2: NO!!
Author #1: Told ya he's insane over burritos...
Author #2: Darn, he needs a flusher and some air freshener! Geez!! ***runs out***
Author #1: ***grabs some freshener and gives it to the cactus*** You need to clean out your out house...
Mr. Clean: Then buy my products today!
Author #1: AHHHH!! ***runs out***
~AT THE BUS DRIVER'S LOCATION~
Bus Driver: FUN!! FUN!! FUN!! FU... wha?
(The Gundam Pilots climb out of the battery case, and are only 2 inches tall and in Chibi mode and have high pitched, squeaky voices.)
Bus Driver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Chibi Heero: Oh no! We're chibis!
Chibi Duo: ***looks at self*** Bwahahahahaha!! Eat your heart out, Pikachu!
Chibi Wufei: INJUSTICE!!
Chibi Trowa: I thought you'd say, "GAAAHH!! Pikachu is weak!"
Chibi Wufei: Ooops... forgot...
Chibi Quatre: Let's get out of here! ***runs***
All others except Bus Driver: Right! ***runs***
Bus Driver: GAAAAHH!! Get back here, shrimps! ***gives chase***
Chibi Quatre: Holy Cheese Nips!
Chibi Trowa: How do we solve this predicament?
Chibi Heero: Into the tumbleweed!
Chibi Duo: Tumbleweed? Where!?!? I'm hungry! I need some Mexican food!
~AT THE OUTHOUSE~
Mystical Cactus: Cool Beans! Tumbleweed, Food of Champions and Cactuses that live in Outhouses!
Author #2: Quit that!
~INSIDE THE TUMBLEWEED (Object, not Restaurant.)~
Chibi Heero: Good thing we got in here while that goofy cactus was babling on! The author didn't need to explain our escape!
Chibi Duo: What are you talking about!?
Chibi Heero: Never mind.
Chibi Quatre: Think he finally cracked?
Chibi Duo: Maybe...
~LATER~
Chibi Trowa: Uh oh! The tumbleweed is breaking apart!
~IN AN OFFICE~
Man: Hello, I'm Fred Frump, Head of the National Cheese Supply, and these are my toes! ***wiggles toes***
Man behind camera: Uh, Mr. Frump, what does this have to do with The Gundam Team's Day Off?
Mr. Frump: I don't know, I just wanted to show everyone my toes! Oh, and I have a message, never waste your cheese. Cheese is a wonderful thing, it should never be wasted. Remember, by never wasting your cheese, you are saving me a whole mess of trouble. Thank you. ***wiggles toes***
Announcer: And now, back to our originally schedueled fic...
~WHERE THE GUNDAM TEAM IS~
Chibi Heero: Man, we almost got killed!
Chibi Trowa: That was the most amazing that will probably ever happen in our life! ... ... nevermind...
Chibi Duo: Too bad the readers had to miss it!
Chibi Heero: Now what are YOU talking about, Duo?
Chibi Duo: ...shut up...
Chibi Wufei: INJUSTICE!
Chibi Quatre: INJUSTICE what?
Chibi Trowa: I wonder if he is talking about the rattle snake over there.
Chibi Pilots: !!!
Rattlesnake: GRRR!! That Chinese boy tortured my homie, Monty the Python!
Chibi Wufei: You are weak!
Rattlesnake: GRRRRRRR!! ***eats Chibi Wufei***
Chibi Wufei: ***inside Rattlesnake*** GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!
Chibi Heero: Let's just leave him. He'll just cause more harm than good.
Chibi Duo: Yeah, let's go! ***walks off***
Chibi Quatre: Okay! ***also walks off***
Chibi Trowa: ... ***walks off***
Chibi Heero: ***walks off***
Chibi Wufei: ***inside Rattlesnake*** GAAAAAAHH!! Come back here you weaklings! GAAAAHH!!
Rattlesnake: Shut up in there, will ya? Geeeze!
~AT THE OUTHOUSE~
Chibi Heero: We're here.
Chibi Duo: Why are we going to this smelly dump?
Chibi Quatre: Maybe because the inhabitant is mystical?
Chibi Duo: Good point...
Chibi Trowa: Everyone, hold your breath! ***holds breath***
Remaining Chibi Pilots: Right! ***holds breath and enters outhouse***
Mystical Cactus: Hey, Company! Cool beans!
Chibi Heero: We... need... to be... restored to our... original... selves...
Mystical Cactus: No problemo! HYA!!
(All the present Gundam Pilots are restored to their original selves.)
Heero: Thanks... ***runs out of the outhouse***
Other Piltos: ***run out of the outhouse***
Trowa: Now we need to get back home...
Duo: To bad all our houses except for Quatre's were taken by the IRS...
Quatre: (to himself) Suckers...
Heero: What was that?
Quatre: (innocently) Nothing...
~LATER, AT QUATRE'S HOUSE~
Duo: Where'd all the sea bass go?
Quatre: I put them in another room... the smell got annoying.
Trowa: ***coming out of the backyard*** How did the Dragon Balls get in your backyard, Quatre?
Quatre: ...I have no clue...
Duo: Let's use 'em!
Heero: We could wish Wufei back...
Duo: Awww... do we hafta?
Heero: Yes, we 'hafta.'
~IN THE BACKYARD~
Heero: (To the Dragon Balls) Arise, dragon!
Shenlong: ***pops up*** Who awakens me from my eternal slumber? SPEAK!!
Quatre: We would like to make a wish, 'o powerful one.
Shenlong: Then speak of your wish now so I can return to my eternal slumber and not get cranky.
Duo: How 'bout a life-time supply of... mph!! ***mouth gets covered by Heero's hand***
Heero: We would like to bring Wufei back to this dimension.
Shenlong: It shall be done. ***eyes start to glow***
(Chibi Wufei pops up.)
Chibi Wufei: INJUSTICE!! I'm still tiny! INJUSTICE!!
Shenlong: Goodbye. ***disappears and the Dragon Balls blast off***
Heero: Now we have to get Wufei back to his original self...
Duo: Yup! ***stuffs Wufei in a bottle*** Mwahahahahaha!!
Chibi Wufei: GAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! INJUSTICE!! LET ME OUT YOU WEAKLING!!
Duo: How about... No!! ***shakes the bottle***
Chibi Wufei: GAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! MY HEAD HURTS!! GAAAAAAAAH!! NATAKU SAVE ME!!! WHERE ARE YOU PAPA SMURF?!?! GAAAAAHH!!
Quatre: Let's get him to the cactus before his lungs explode.
Trowa: Right.
Heero: ***spots Quatre's BMW SUV with GPS and smiles*** I'm driving!
Duo: SHOTGUN!!
Chibi Wufei: GAAAAAAH!! MY EARS!!! NATAKU, I NEED YOOOOOUUU!!
DUo: Shut up!
~AT THE OUTHOUSE~
Heero: I'm driving on the way back.
Trowa: I call shotgun on the way back.
Duo: No! Crap!
~INSIDE THE MYSTICAL CACTUS'S LAIR~
Mystical Cactus: Hey! Your back! Cool Beans!
Heero: We... need... you... to... return Wufei... to his... original... size...
Mystical Cactus: Okeydokey! HEEEEERE WEEEEEE GOOOOOOO!!
(Chibi Wufei transforms into Wufei and breaks the bottle.)
Wufei: GAAAAAAAAHH!! THE GLASS IS HURTING ME!!!
Duo: ***laughing his posterior off***
Mystical Cactus: Hey, that BMW looks like mine! Cool Beans! BTW, does any of you want a bean burrito?
All Pilots: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! ***runs out***
Mystical Cactus: What I say? What I say!?
Banana Boat Aloe After Sun Lotion: I dunno.
Mystical Cactus: Cool beans!
~LATER, AT QUATRE'S HOUSE~
Wufei: ***inside hot tub*** HOT TUBS ARE STRONG!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
Trowa: ***sneaks up behind Wufei and gives him a sedative shot*** There...
Wufei: Bwahahahaha...zzzZzzzZzzzZzzz...
Trowa: ***drags Wufei out of the Hot tub*** He needs to eat more...
Heero: My ears were beginning to ring, thanks Trowa.
Trowa: No problem.
Quatre: ***eating Cheese Nips*** Hey guys... gulp...chomp...gulp... The Holy Grail is on! Chomp...gulp...chew...
Heero & Trowa: ***look at each other then run towards the TV at breakneck speed***
Duo: WOOOOOOO!! ***jumps on the TV veiwing couch*** We need popcorn!
Heero: Already taken care of. ***gets the popcorn out of the microwave***
Wufei: ***wakes up*** Wha? Huh? MONTY PYTHON!! WEEEEEEEEE!! ***runs into the TV veiwing room*** YAY!!
~AFTER THE MOVIE~
(Everyone is asleep.)
G-Pilots: ZzzZzzZzz...
(Some bald men run into the room.)
Baldie #1: Hey! VICTIMS!! ***sprays a substance on Wufei's hair***
Baldie #2: ***sprays something on Heero's hair***
Baldie #3: We gotta hurry! ***sprays Duo's hair***
Baldie #2: Yeah! ***sprays Quatre***
Baldie #4: Someone already did this guy! ***points to Trowa***
Baldie #1: Who cares? ***sprays Trowa's hair***
Baldies: Let's bolt! ***all jump out an open window***
~IN THE MORNING~
(Wufei's Tissue Box Alarm clock goes off.)
Wufei: Yawn... ah, a STRONG day, Nataku! Wha?? ***feels hair*** GAAAAAAAHH!!
Heero: Ugh... ***gets up*** Darn it, Wufei... ***looks in mirror*** My god! ***faints***
Duo: YAWN!!! WOOO!! I feel good! ***looks in a mini-mirror*** Hello beautif... GAAAAAAAAAHH!! ***faints***
Quatre: ***wakes up*** Why is everyone yelling? Huh? Were'd my bangs go...? GAAAAAAAAH!! ***runs around insanely***
Trowa: ***awakens*** Huh? I can see through my other eye!! MY head feels lighter too! ***looks in a mirror*** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! MY HAIR IS GONE!!!!! GAAAAAAAHH!!
(All the Gundam pilots discovered that their hairstyle changed overnight. Heero got the Einstein look, with mustache, Duo got a beehive, Quatre got a flat top, Wufei got a Vegeta hairstyle (you know, huge maidens peak, side burns, and goes almost totally straight up.) and Trowa went bald.)
Wufei: GAAAAAAAAAHH!! VEGETA IS WEAK!! INJUSTICE!!
Vegeta: ***blasts through roof*** Weak, huh? I'LL SHOW YOU WEAK!! ***goes Super Saiyan Lv. 3***
Heero: Er... he didn't mean it, Mr. Vegeta... sir... person... man...
Vegeta: BIG BANG ATTACK!!!!! ***blasts Wufei through the roof***
Quatre: My house! GAAAAAHH!! As if I didn't have enough problems already!
Wufei: Looks like Wufei is blasting off again...! (ding)
Vegeta: See ya later, chumps! HAHAHAHA!! ***blasts through the roof***
Quatre: ***sobbing*** First my hair... sniff... then my house! What's next?!?!?!
Duo: ***panicking*** MUST COMB HAIR!!! ***keeps putting combs in hair, but they keep breaking*** GAAAAAAHH!!
Heero: Maybe I can... HEY MR. SPAGHETTI-O!!! WE NEED YOU FOR A SECOND!!!
Wufei: ***lands on top of Quatre*** Spaghetti-O? GAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
Quatre: OOOUUUCH!! Now my back! WHY!?!?! ***sobs***
Rashid: ***runs through door*** Master Quatre!! What's wrong!?
Quatre: ***looks at Rashid*** What happened to your hair?!
Rashid: Wha? ***looks in mirror*** GAAAAH!!
Duo: It looks like Goku's! Cool!
Rashid: NOOOOO!!! I HATE DBZ!!
Gundam Pilots: WHAT!?!?! GAAAAAAAHH!!! ***throws Rashid into the freezer***
Rashid: GAAAAAAA... cool beans! Klondike Bars! WEEEEEEE!!!
To be continued...