Hey, cold's back with a new style. Now that I've realized that any serious
fiction on here can be changed around and exploited, then published (no
copyright), I've decided to stick with parodies and the like. I hope all
y'all dedicated readers will like this almost as much as you liked my other
schtuff. Enjoy!
A/N:(blah blah) means thhoughts. Got it? Goooooood boy. Now read,
dammit!
* * * * *
The Introduction-Exodus, Shmexodus, we're getting the hell outta here
( Thrall walks out of his ratty shack, complete with wolf and all. It's eerie how he dresses so fast.)
Thrall: What a screwed up dream! There were humans, orcs, rabid bunnies, birds of all colors, an old man singing the theme song from "Cheers", and a big thing of confetti? WTF??
The Prophet: Ee he he..sorry, sent you the wrong dream ..damn you, "Old dead wizard dance/karaoke lounge"....anyways, you're gonna follow the damn waypointsi set out for no good frickin reason. Now.
Thrall: (looking at map of area) Uhhhh....couldn't you save more time by going DIRECTLY? I'm supposed to be a dumass and I know that!
The Prophet: Uhh...no.
Thrall: Why not?
The Prophet: Cause there wouldn't BE a level if we did that. Now follow!!
(Turns into a bird, flies off, smacks into tree)
The Prophet:!@#$!!@$!@#$!@#$!$(flies off)
Thrall: I gotta learn howta do that. Turn into a bird, I mean, not curse in scribbly-talk. Anyway... ( walks on, eventually reaches encampment)
Grunts: (jump out of buildings randomly) BOOO!
Thrall: AAA!! GREEN MEN!( rides off, comes back quick) neva mind, im one too..s'whats up?
Grunts: Uhh...you're our general??
Thrall: ....ya..i knew that. So, onward! ( march off; Thrall pricks up ears like cat) hmmmm....I sense a cat!
Gnoll: No, retard, it's me.
Thrall: Like I said a cat....a big ugly bipedal cat.
Gnoll: ...hell with this, it dont pay enough..attack!!( rushes Thrall, gets trounced horribly)
Thrall: Wtf is trounced, anyway?
(Uhhhh...its something SOME people do to sheep)
Thrall: Ohhhhh.Anyways!did not need to know that.. ( keep going, see more cats..I mean gnolls)
Thrall: Ja, anyway..( starts slaughtering) whoo-hoo! This is fun!( gains a level) Ohh, pretty lights.
Narrator guy who's been sleeping on the job: wha..that's because you gained a level..you now have chain lightning..too much Bud..(passes out drunkenly)
Thrall: Ooo, lets try it on those helpless Murlocs over there(zaps them) whee! This is fun.
Murlocs: Ow! !@#$!@#$!@#$ing mother@#$@#$@er!
Thrall: HAHA HA!!
(Murlocs run off; Thrall comes up to the sleeping ogre)
Thrall: Hehehe, a sitting duck had more of a chance... (Thrall leaves the ogre, who is now superglued to his sleeping ground)
Thrall: I love superglue... (notices the forest trolls)
Thrall: As far as I can remember, THAT one(pointing to the biggest) owes me money, and lots of it. ( wakes up troll) Hey, YOU! Pay up!
Troll: (dazed, tired) huh...what?
Thrall: Nerzhul got his ass kicked, so you lose. Pay!
Troll: (gettin' really pissed) I told you before, Nerzhul got resurrected by the demon dude! ....In fact, you owe ME money.
Thrall: hehe, I have to go now..(runs like hell) (reaches the midpoint just in time)
The Prophet: Well, ya passed yer first test. Now, go over to Kalimdor. Now.
Thrall: Well, aren't we bossy? First I had to go through the damn waypoints, now this? Why would I go there, anyway?
The Prophet: Uhhh..they have fast food over there?
Thrall: All right! I'm going! .....Now how do I get there??
The Prophet: Sail west.
Thrall: o_O mysterious answer...so complex in its wording, and verbose...
The Prophet: Yeah, yeah, shaddap. Oh yeah, and bring Hellscream with you.
Thrall: Aight, just talk normal for a while. ***** (Some indefinite length of time later...) Thrall: So, where's Hellscream at?
Nerdy Peon: Uh, sir, we of class don't end sesnences with prepostions.
Thrall: Fine then, where's Hellscream at, asshole?
Nerdy Peon: I haven't seen him in 1.3245 months, sir.
Thrall: ..right. Dammit, where the hell are you??
(Builds base, does shit, eventualy the footmen come across the bridge)
Footman: Orcish fools! Turn yourselves in, or we'll capture you!
Thrall: Big frickin difference--attack! (Footmen get slaughtered; Thrall crosses bridge, sacks the town, kills footmen, etc, gets to hellscream)
Thrall: Hellscream, you wuss! How could you get captured if even I could escape from here?
Hellscream: Uhhh....they lured me in with what I thought was a karaoke party..
Thrall: -,- riiight. Anyway, we're going to Kalimdor. I'm needing a Big Mac, sooner rather than later.
Hellscream: All right, so we're going by ship. (Somehow hijacks ships on water--how does he DO that?)Ride, bessie, ride!!(sails into distance) * * * * * And so ends the first few sections of stuff, hopefully the funniest parody ya've ever seen(hehe, wishful thinking). I'll try to come up with stuff FAST, so review ASAP: it's easier for me to write.
( Thrall walks out of his ratty shack, complete with wolf and all. It's eerie how he dresses so fast.)
Thrall: What a screwed up dream! There were humans, orcs, rabid bunnies, birds of all colors, an old man singing the theme song from "Cheers", and a big thing of confetti? WTF??
The Prophet: Ee he he..sorry, sent you the wrong dream ..damn you, "Old dead wizard dance/karaoke lounge"....anyways, you're gonna follow the damn waypointsi set out for no good frickin reason. Now.
Thrall: (looking at map of area) Uhhhh....couldn't you save more time by going DIRECTLY? I'm supposed to be a dumass and I know that!
The Prophet: Uhh...no.
Thrall: Why not?
The Prophet: Cause there wouldn't BE a level if we did that. Now follow!!
(Turns into a bird, flies off, smacks into tree)
The Prophet:!@#$!!@$!@#$!@#$!$(flies off)
Thrall: I gotta learn howta do that. Turn into a bird, I mean, not curse in scribbly-talk. Anyway... ( walks on, eventually reaches encampment)
Grunts: (jump out of buildings randomly) BOOO!
Thrall: AAA!! GREEN MEN!( rides off, comes back quick) neva mind, im one too..s'whats up?
Grunts: Uhh...you're our general??
Thrall: ....ya..i knew that. So, onward! ( march off; Thrall pricks up ears like cat) hmmmm....I sense a cat!
Gnoll: No, retard, it's me.
Thrall: Like I said a cat....a big ugly bipedal cat.
Gnoll: ...hell with this, it dont pay enough..attack!!( rushes Thrall, gets trounced horribly)
Thrall: Wtf is trounced, anyway?
(Uhhhh...its something SOME people do to sheep)
Thrall: Ohhhhh.Anyways!did not need to know that.. ( keep going, see more cats..I mean gnolls)
Thrall: Ja, anyway..( starts slaughtering) whoo-hoo! This is fun!( gains a level) Ohh, pretty lights.
Narrator guy who's been sleeping on the job: wha..that's because you gained a level..you now have chain lightning..too much Bud..(passes out drunkenly)
Thrall: Ooo, lets try it on those helpless Murlocs over there(zaps them) whee! This is fun.
Murlocs: Ow! !@#$!@#$!@#$ing mother@#$@#$@er!
Thrall: HAHA HA!!
(Murlocs run off; Thrall comes up to the sleeping ogre)
Thrall: Hehehe, a sitting duck had more of a chance... (Thrall leaves the ogre, who is now superglued to his sleeping ground)
Thrall: I love superglue... (notices the forest trolls)
Thrall: As far as I can remember, THAT one(pointing to the biggest) owes me money, and lots of it. ( wakes up troll) Hey, YOU! Pay up!
Troll: (dazed, tired) huh...what?
Thrall: Nerzhul got his ass kicked, so you lose. Pay!
Troll: (gettin' really pissed) I told you before, Nerzhul got resurrected by the demon dude! ....In fact, you owe ME money.
Thrall: hehe, I have to go now..(runs like hell) (reaches the midpoint just in time)
The Prophet: Well, ya passed yer first test. Now, go over to Kalimdor. Now.
Thrall: Well, aren't we bossy? First I had to go through the damn waypoints, now this? Why would I go there, anyway?
The Prophet: Uhhh..they have fast food over there?
Thrall: All right! I'm going! .....Now how do I get there??
The Prophet: Sail west.
Thrall: o_O mysterious answer...so complex in its wording, and verbose...
The Prophet: Yeah, yeah, shaddap. Oh yeah, and bring Hellscream with you.
Thrall: Aight, just talk normal for a while. ***** (Some indefinite length of time later...) Thrall: So, where's Hellscream at?
Nerdy Peon: Uh, sir, we of class don't end sesnences with prepostions.
Thrall: Fine then, where's Hellscream at, asshole?
Nerdy Peon: I haven't seen him in 1.3245 months, sir.
Thrall: ..right. Dammit, where the hell are you??
(Builds base, does shit, eventualy the footmen come across the bridge)
Footman: Orcish fools! Turn yourselves in, or we'll capture you!
Thrall: Big frickin difference--attack! (Footmen get slaughtered; Thrall crosses bridge, sacks the town, kills footmen, etc, gets to hellscream)
Thrall: Hellscream, you wuss! How could you get captured if even I could escape from here?
Hellscream: Uhhh....they lured me in with what I thought was a karaoke party..
Thrall: -,- riiight. Anyway, we're going to Kalimdor. I'm needing a Big Mac, sooner rather than later.
Hellscream: All right, so we're going by ship. (Somehow hijacks ships on water--how does he DO that?)Ride, bessie, ride!!(sails into distance) * * * * * And so ends the first few sections of stuff, hopefully the funniest parody ya've ever seen(hehe, wishful thinking). I'll try to come up with stuff FAST, so review ASAP: it's easier for me to write.