Title: All The Small Things
Summary: He is strong and rash and sarcastic. I am scared and weak and in love. Together, it's beautiful.
Dedicated to: My sister, who is currently keeping up with her bi-annual tradition of watching the Winx seasons.
Note: Old, written for my favorite pairing in the history of Winx, done during science
I fear for him.
He is so bold, always jumping into dangerous situations. He's brave- well actually, he's probably just rash and unafraid.
Unafraid. To not be scared. How does that feel? I wonder.
Perhaps he just doesn't care. I wouldn't be surprised if that were the truth. Not surprised- but still afraid.
What if this mission is his last?
What if he dies out there?
What if he stops loving me?
Okay, so maybe I had lied. Maybe I also fear for me, for what would happen if he was...gone. Maybe I'm also worried he'll stop loving me- or at least not love me enough to stop him from going on a suicidal mission.
I know Riven. I know that he has a huge ego and still believes himself capable enough to defeat anything. Maybe he notices that charging the beast headfirst might not be the smartest idea but that doesn't stop him. When it's just him and the enemy, consequences be damned because somebody was going down and it had better not be him.
I just wish he'd be more careful. I just wish he cared for me enough to take care of himself. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I'm taking away his fun, his thrills. But what would you do?
Just seeing him rush into battle sends chills up my spine. Knowing that every day of his life is fraught with peril. I know him enough to know that the demons aren't all outside. They're in his head too. Every time I look into those eyes and see the pain, I know he's had a nightmare.
The worst part is, I can't possibly protect him from himself. Maybe I could give him a sleeping drought but that wouldn't make it go away. Nothing can. Perhaps the thing I fear most is that I am not enough. That one day he's wake up depressed as hell and I won't be able to do anything. He'll go off and get himself killed and it will be my fault for not being good enough. And then I'll have lost him anyhow, too soon, too fast.
Even the thought makes my heart beat anxiously.
Riven wonders why I sneak glances at him while we're together, why I'm so angry at him when he gets back from a mission.
I'm not really angry. Not at him.
I'm angry at myself for being so afraid.
For being so weak.
What has love done to me?
It had made me afraid. A fear that will never leave because it is so far inside me.
I fear for him because he never does.
He is strong and rash and sarcastic and beautiful.
I am scared and weak and in love.
But for some reason it's okay to be so scared.
Maybe because I know he needs someone to fear for him.