The Many Ways of Saying I…
by Jeannette Lara
"Ah, you have done quite well moving up levels so quickly. You see here, it says you are already number 4 of your class."
Over at the Go school in a Northern part of Japan, a young girl with black pigtails compliments a younger Go student for his achievement level throughout the year. As important as a rise to fourth out of 200 students may seem, it did not matter as much as a compliment from this particular 16-year-old girl. A compliment from her meant everything in the world for any aspiring Go professional. The exact location of this school is not all that important, yet to clarify, this is not the Go institute, if not a school that has a beautiful architecture similar to an immense ancient shrine. This year, the competitions attracted Go players as well as professionals from all over Japan. It was quite a sight to see top players of the sport mingling with amateurs in celebrating this annual event.
It had been 2 years since the girl last visited the school. Not wanting to be noticed, she blended in with the crowd of people, dressing unusually plain and comfortable. She was there to observe other players and help out in any way she could, even if that meant doing errands. Although quite content with her three-day job, she could not help but feel a bit awkward. Had it truly been two years? She was not sure about attending the event in the first place, but her mother had managed to convince her by telling her "it would have pleased your Grandfather." Her momentary lost in thoughts was interrupted when one of the Go instructors asked her if she could get some refreshments for the rest of the observers.
"Of course." The girl returned a cheerful smile.
"It is so nice of you to volunteer like this, yet at the same time it feels weird to ask you of all people to do such unworthy errands, especially when I myself feel so below you."
"Sensei, please don't speak that way, I do this because I want to, it would be a change for, once."
"Then perhaps there is yet hope for you, perhaps one day you might reconsider becoming a…"
"Sensei," she interrupted, "how many refreshments should I get?"
The Sensei felt a bit thrown off by the sudden change of subject.
"Oh yes, of course, sorry. Ten should suffice. You might want to hurry, it seems it will rain soon."
True enough, the skies were somewhat gray. It would rain but not be pouring like a hurricane. It might even be somewhat pleasant. She hurried along to get the refreshments.
***
On the other side of the building, waiting by the lobby was an impatient Waya along with a now 20 year old Touya, who still in a sense had a boyish look yet had grown more handsome than before. Wearing his hair slightly longer still in the same fashion, the now 6 Dan waited along with Waya 4 Dan, for the arrival of Hikaru. During the past years, things had settled between Akira and Hikaru, enough for a firm friendship to be established. Waya had not changed much; he got along with Touya although he still did not understand his obsession towards Shindou. No matter, at the moment, Hikaru was unusually late. Every passing minute made Waya more impatient. The second round of the competition would start in 20 minutes or so and Hikaru was nowhere to be seen.
"He said he could not be present for the first session, yet he would be here in time for the second part, and yet he was nowhere to be seen. "What the hell is he doing?" Waya complained, roughly scuffing his shoes against the ground.
"I am sure Shindou has his reasons. There was a lot of traffic on the way up here." Touya tried reasoning with Waya.
Indeed, people were still arriving, while others went out for refreshments and food before the competition resumed.
"I guess you're right. I am just tired of waiting out here like an idiot and it looks like it's going to rain too."
"He'll be here, Shindou would never miss out on an event like this." Touya reassured Waya.
The young girl rushed pass the masses of people. The numbers that were present today amazed her. When she finally reached the lobby, it had commenced raining a little. She hesitated a bit but decided to go under the rain. Waya remained on the look out for Hikaru; on the other hand Touya caught the girl at the corner of his eye, passing him in such a hurry. It seemed like a momentary lack of oxygen flow to his brain. He took one step realizing who she was.
"Yukino?" He said in a low tone. His aspect changed forgetting the world that surrounded him. He took a couple of paces more and was about to dash off when Waya called his attention.
"Hey, Touya where are you going? Do you see Shindou?"
With only a split second to think he turned to Waya and told him he would be back.
"Excuse me, wait for Shindou, I'll meet you guys inside, let me borrow this." He said referring to Waya's big umbrella.
Waya had no time to answer. Touya took the umbrella and was off.
"Hey, the next round starts soon!" Waya's efforts were useless. Touya seemed to be in such a hurry that he did not hear him.
"Oy! Waya!" Hikaru called out not far from the lobby. He was out of breath, indication of some serious running up those steps. "Sorry I'm late." He said panting,
"Where were you, we have been waiting over 30 minutes for you?"
"There was some traffic and delay. Hey where's Touya?"
"I don't know he just went off just about now and told me to wait for you."
"Well, let's go get him, the next second round will start soon right?"
Waya looked at his watch, the next round was 15 minutes shy from beginning.
"Well we better hurry, the rain is staring to pick up a little, and Touya just took my umbrella."
"We can share mine." Hikaru suggested.
Waya looked at the small thing with disdain.
"That crappy little thing couldn't even protect a frog, let's just hurry up."
***
Akira raced against the big crowd of people. His heart pounding with every step, he was sure he had seen her just now. He stopped momentarily searching all angles to see if he could catch any glimpse of her. At last, heading towards the Kiosks, he saw the average height girl with pigtails. His heart pounded even harder as he began to gather up courage to approach her.
The drops of rain felt a bit cold on Yukino's face. She knew she would have to speed up if she wanted to avoid getting a cold from being drenched. Momentarily the rain looked as if it had stopped; yet she could still feel the splat of water drops against her legs. It was then, that she noticed a huge umbrella hovering over her accompanied by the presence of another.
"Akira-kun?" She was surprised to see him, as he was to see her.
"I saw you running out of the lobby, unmistakably I was sure it was you." He said a bit out of breath.
"Well… I, I was on my way to get refreshments before the competition resumed. How have you been Akira –kun?"
She was still in a sort of state of shock to see Akira, there, in the flesh, right in front of her.
"I'll tell you if you permit me to accompany you, it is raining." Touya's warm and friendly manner was something she could not say no to, although Yukino did not know what to expect from this encounter. She agreed since they both appeared like fools standing in the middle of people's paths. She hooked him by the right arm so that he could follow closely.
"Well how lucky I am, Akira –kun has saved the day. How are your parents?" Not knowing really what to say, Yukino thought it appropriate to ask for his parents since she had great regard for them, especially for Akira's father.
"They are quite fine, how have you been?"
"Well you know, studying as usual. I decided to take a breather and come up here for a while, just to distract myself from my studies."
"What studies do you refer to?" Akira's question, she knew, would provide entrance for the topic that she was surely trying to avoid.
"You can be so silly at times, what other studies would I refer to, high school naturally, I have the top grades in my class." She said smiling all along.
"When are you planning to take the Pro test?" He had detected her avoidance towards the subject; therefore a direct approach became necessary.
"I heard you rose to 6th dan, your father must be proud." She said attempting to evade the question before.
"Yes, I have, yet it seems meaningless to play against such weak players when I could be playing you at a professional level."
Yukino let go of his arm walking a little ahead. "I don't play Go anymore, it's not for me." She continued on, leaving the protection Akira had placed upon her with the umbrella. Akira commenced a faster pace to catch up to her.
"That is nonsense, Go is a part of your life."
They had reached a balcony like area where the whole city could be overlooked.
"I don't even like Go!" She darted out at Akira who felt the pain of those words.
"Since when?"
"Look, I did not agree to let you accompany me just so that you could lecture me! I don't like Go so take it as it is." She stopped a couple of feet away from Akira just to tell him that.
"So why did you come here then?"
The question was expected; she knew she would have to answer smartly.
"My mother made me."
"Or you made yourself."
"Could we talk another day, because I really have to get going. Look Akira-kun, I am very happy for you, you have done well, you have reached a position that is huge in the Go world, that is incredible!"
"Why are you denying your love for Go?"
Yukino was starting to feel agitated. Akira as well, he knew the potential of Yukino, she was even better than most of the higher ranking pros. A worthy opponent for even someone like Shindou, the person he considered his eternal rival.
"I have no part in Go and Go has no part in me."
"Then you deny your Grandfather, you even deny me."
Yukino's eyes became wide; she felt her heart skip a beat. His comment pained her, and could no longer stand to listen to him. She turned away but was stopped by Akira's words that were daggers to her heart.
"I know you loved your Grandfather, believe me, we all did. The world of Go mourned deeply losing such an inspiration. Even now, that I hold a title that was once his, even now I cannot compare to his greatness, but I hold his title in his honor and in honor of those that held it before him. You love this sport as much as I do, and you loved your grandfather deeply. He taught you the sport with pride since you were little, and you are a prodigy of it. But by turning your back on what you love, you betray him and your dreams!"
"I am not!" She yelled back with such rage that Akira felt startled. "You don't understand! I can't do this anymore, not without him!! My inspiration is gone; I have no one to show off for! Can't you see that! Damn you Touya, Damn You!"
Akira did not know what over came him, but he grabbed Yukino by the wrist during her fit of rage and pulled her towards him. He embraced her tightly as she came out of her stage of shock. With the umbrella now on the floor Akira became exposed to the refreshing raindrops. Both of their hearts pounded from the explosive exchange of emotions. Yukino began to calm down, as he warmed her up. She rested her forehead on his chest. Akira rarely expressed his emotions, at least not like this. It was an odd yet good feeling that she could witness such actions.
"It's funny, I don't know why I am here. No, that would be a lie. I wanted to see him again, feel his presence, I thought that by coming here today I would some how feel that he was here."
"But he is here, he is within you. Every moment of your life whether you play or not play, yet I assure you, if you play again, you can relive those many years growing up with him. Every stone you put into play, is a resurrection of him. That is where you will find your inspiration."
Yukino felt overwhelmed by his words. Deep down inside he was right. She wanted to play, she loved playing, how could she let her passion die out, how could she let her grandfather down.
"You know, my grandfather liked you, he liked you very much. He did not show it often but he was quite fond of you, funny thing, he once told me that you and I would make a great couple, two pros could make an invincible team. But, if I became a pro, I may just have to marry you." She chuckled jokingly.
"Then become one." His answer surprised her. She looked up at him who in turn returned a tender smile and look. He meant his words and said them with conviction. "Become a pro soon, and when you become of age, by then I should have I won a title or two more, and with that money we will open the school you always wanted, and our little ones will grow loving Go as much as we love each…"
Akira paused as he observed the tears beginning to flow down her cheeks, he did not give her sufficient time to react. He could not help himself; he pulled her closer, sealing her lips with a kiss. Yukino was caught off guard, she seemed to struggle a little but not for long. She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment as they pulled themselves closer to one another. It was a refreshing feeling and yet the association reminded her that she needed to get refreshments. With out warning, she pushed away surprising Akira and herself as well.
"Touya, you jerk! How dare you pull that stunt on me!" A bit baffled, she went off in the opposite direction, but then came back realizing she headed the wrong way. "Fine! I'll become a pro, I'll make my grandfather proud and beat your ass!" Now back on the correct path towards the Kiosks, she could not leave without saying a thing or two. "Fine! I'll have your babies! But if you ever, ever do that again without my permission, I swear, next time we play I will make you eat the Go stones along with the board! Now out of my way! I'll see you later!" Yukino dashed off for good this time, outraged and arguing with herself as she resumed the path down to the Kiosks. Akira could not help but smile. He knew he finally got through to her. They had played against each other numerous times before her grandfather died. Although he always won, the matches were difficult. Never had he played against a girl that made him feel so alive. Indeed, they knew each other so well; they were alike and yet so different. That's what Akira liked most about Yukino, she was a unique specimen, and no matter how many times they argued, he knew it was one of their many ways of saying… I love you.
Fin