Hello there!
Well, I don't really know what is happening with me, but it seems that Reira and Shin really caught my attention. I have been founding myself wondering about their relationship and a new idea came to my mind. I was inspired by "A Little Pain – Olivia Lufkin" in a way. I didn't want to exactly "involve you", I wanted to pass an idea of could and, deep beneath and disguised, warm dangerous fire. I find it cute, I hope you can feel it. Also, English is not my mother language, as you may know if you've read another fic of mine in English (and I bet you can discover that by reading this one too). I do make some mistakes, but I just can't detect them, so, if they're really there, I apologize to you, I've done my best.
Eternal Disclaimer: NANA doesn't belong to me (oh, really?) and I made this only for fun.
Please enjoy :D
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Listen Closely
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There was only dark as always and she was lying on that bed. It was Monday, the worst day on the week. The day that everyone is used to wish just skip it or simply pass by as fast as a hurricane. She wanted to pass through it fast too.
Always dying to see the sun going down, waiting impatiently for the night and then, just then, the time could stop.
Yes, she was on that point, she thought while was looking to the young man next to her. Oh, she really didn't mind if they were stuck there for eternity... at that little apartment unknown to reporters and fans, where the dark was always the emperor.
Inside that bed, the only place where she was allowed to hear his heartbeat, where she could, at least, feel that vicious warmth of his while his smell is filling every place of her mind, getting her dizzier and dizzier.
It was the only place… she could finally reach him with her own fingers and feelings.
- I love you.
He raised his head; those gray and blue eyes were trying to read her soul.
- What does that mean?
It means "I want to be with you. Always", doesn't it? It is the best way to express the urge need, the passion and childish dreams of a woman, isn't it?
- I… I don't know… Isn't it enough to feel like saying it? I mean, if my heart is wavering and I need to put it into words, these strong feelings of mine, can't I just say it?
- You sure are a successful song writer – he giggled. That woman was interesting, she could be everything: seductive, sweet, determinate, cute, skilled, innocent, headstrong, among a lot of other things. But suddenly that smile vanished and he felt the need of break a dream. – But people shouldn't say things without knowing what their meaning is.
She felt the warmth was fading away while the body distanced from her. All that she could see were his delightful back and rebellious hair. What was that? Was it a signal that he had no strong feelings for her?
It was getting cold.
She wanted to hear him say those three words, was that wrong? Something inside her started aching and provoked some king of angst. Was it a polite way to run away? Did it mean that the other person in that bed sees her in a different way? Like the unique woman who can satisfy without being annoying, until she starts talking about feelings?
Colder and colder…
Even in the dark, she could see his silhouette, thanks to the moonlight that was coming from the big window. And after his body, all the city lights were shining, so far away, so small… The sky ruled out there, big, merciless, smashing the tiny hopes of those ridiculous starts. And, lost in the middle, there was the moon, who couldn't shine alone, who was permanently stealing the light of the Sun and desiring to get his warmth too… Such a pitiful moon…
- Those are unreliable words… - his voice resonated in the room, echoing in her head. She didn't want to hear the rest. – "I love you"… how many times do people say it, without even know its dimension? How many times do they say it, without realizing that sooner or later, they'll abandon the ones they say they love? I hate it. I hate when someone say it because I know it won't last. I don't need to hear those words Reira. They aren't reliable.
- I won't aband-…
- Don't you dare to finish that sentence! Do you really expect me to believe it?
She did not answer; she couldn't understand what he was trying to say. Was it something like her love wasn't reliable? But, if it was so, what was that big speech about the meaning of love for? And plus, why was it that she got the impression of a tiny fear in his voice?
- I… even if my body isn't there, I'll always be. Even if it doesn't last, in this moment, now, I really, really mean it…
That stupid mouth which just can't shut up, why was it that it always said what it shouldn't? The shame and embarrass made her dig her head in the pillow.
The silence came and staid for so long… the woman imagined thousands of painful things at the same time. The more she thought, the more she ached inside.
- Oi.
Finally that voice rescued her, who only could be confused at first.
- Heh?
- Embrace me.
- What?
- Just do it.
Slowly, he started to feel cold among her hesitation. A milky arm was now surrounding his belly and one of her fingers was drawing in a shy way invisible mazes in his skin. He loved the shivers she could provoke, but they vanished quickly. Suddenly there was no more cold, just warmth. His warmth that was transferred to her and now was being shared.
Through the window glass he could see the universe. The lights were glowing in the dark night, the movement of the big city. But that wasn't just it. There was reflected his universe as well.
And it was so much more important…
- Is it wrong to have the need of being told "I love you"? – her reflection in the window was deeply looking at him, afraid of having said some foolish stuff, of being rejected.
- It isn't.
- I don't understand, then.
- Would you like if I said it?
- Of course.
- Even if I'm not sure of my feelings? Even if I don't know what it really is?
- Would it be like a lie then?
- I think it would be just like something said just for being said. Something half-heartedly said.
She didn't say a thing for a while.
- But that doesn't mean you don't love me… is that what you're trying to say?
He smiled a little.
- You're smart.
- Of course I am!
He giggled again. She loved when he did it. It was seductive and sweet at the same time. It was a disguised invitation.
- I don't really know what it means, "I love you"… but I want to say it to you, I only want to say it to you…
- I like it.
- Huh?
- I like the way you are.
- That's not the same thing. You can like so many things…
- And you can love many things too. There are different kinds of liking and loving, did you know it?
- You're the kid here Shin-chan, have you forgotten?
- Oh, I'm sorry my lady.
- But tell me... what do you like about me?
- Do you need to feed your egocentric self? Isn't it enough your legions of fans?
- My fans are my fans, they don't know the real Reira. Please say it!
It was an order. The silence came again. It was okay if she wanted to feel, at least, desired, wasn't it? No it wasn't. She wanted more, now she really wanted more.
- I like your smile. I like the way you see the world, pretty cruel put still "pinkish". You can't just give up on your dreams. Basically you're a little spoiled kid living on a wonderful woman's body.
- That was mean! – she cried.
He turned his back to the outside universe and dove in those brown eyes.
- It was not. – he said, while holding her chin. Then his hand stopped in her neck, filling almost all the flesh in there.
He had grown up.
- Can you feel it?
- What?
Those eyes were totally pushing her rationality away.
- What I make you feel, is important too. You can't always rely on words, they deceive you. You need to look deeper, you need to get deeper. Learn how to read a person's attitude, learn how to hear the unspoken words. Listen closely.
He kissed her, a desire of possessing that woman only for him, only to satisfy his selfish desires. He had the need of giving her support and protection; the irritation of being unable to tell her a real "No".
He wanted it; he wanted everything for his own. Always.
She struggled and broke the kiss, her teeth craved in his neck and on the next minute, she was fooling around that area. Then, suddenly stopped and looked at him. He had a complex expression, she could tell. Some contradictory feelings were dancing and, with them, there was passion too.
She smiled and sat, then put one arm on each side of him. All those hanks of hair were falling to his body and framing her face… such a beautiful face.
- I got it. You're mine.
There was no reply, but she felt her body being pushed and smashed against his. And, beneath the glorious sky, lost in the outside universe, she understood the answer while he was taking over her.
Yes, he was.
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Thank you for reading, I'd love to know your opinion :D
Neffer-Tari
