Athos and Constance walked together towards the altar, where a happy faced D'artagnan was waiting for his beautiful bride impatiently. After completing his small mission, Athos just stood there, letting his mind swim in the pool of different thoughts. He remembered his own wedding in a small village. He was just as eager as D'artagnan, so young and naïve. Seeing his bride dressed in white dress with forget me nots in her hair made his heart skip a beat. When he finally took her narrow hand in his, he felt like he just got a key of the whole universe. And he truly got. She was his world, his breath, his angel. Athos never felt so in love with anyone before. Even with Catherine. He saw her as a target and their marriage was a mission he had to complete to please his family. But it all changed when he met Anne. Dark hair, twinkling green eyes, swan like neck… It was all her, so pure and so his in every sense of the word. He still remembered the feeling of her hands caressing his cheek, moving down to his jaw, running a thumb across his rough beard. God, he still loved her. Despite everything he did. It didn't matter how many times he reminded himself that she had killed his own brother, that he was just her another victim, that her love was nothing but a beautiful illusion which was ruined in the blink of an eye. Nothing helped. His heart was the only thing he couldn't order, couldn't frighten with his famous glare. Instead, it ruled him, made him weak and insecure. But yet… Maybe that was what he needed.
A loud cheers broke him out of his reverie. Athos turned his head to see the newlyweds kissing. Suddenly he felt his palms sweating realizing he was supposed to meet her and was running late. Wait a second, when did he firmly decide to accept her offer? Who cares. It feels right, meant to be. An unexpected wave of emotions makes his body move forward almost automatically, makes him ignore Treville's offer, the approaching war, even Porthos' warning look. Instead, his mind focuses on the road ahead and the only woman he has ever loved. Athos rode as fast as he could, a glint of hope of seeing her again never leaving his heart.
She had been waiting impatiently many times in the past. Waiting for a chance to start better life, waiting for him to ask her hand, waiting for him to hang her, waiting for revenge, but none of them had caused so much worry inside her. She was sitting in that carriage, for more than an hour, waiting for him to show up and agree to go with her. Only then she would be happy, only then she would start believing in god's existence. Knowing a sinner like her deserved nothing more than hell, she felt her hopes shattering one by one. She had lost him so many times that it was already a familiar sensation. A sudden jolt of pain rushing through her body, realization of being unworthy of everything was something she wasn't ready to admit. Never was, never would. She believed by wishing to be with him again, she was asking for nothing much, but her heart knew that one wish cost more than she could afford.
Suddenly she heard someone approaching her and the hope in her eyes got clear. Maybe god decided to give her another chance. Maybe she wasn't so bad person, maybe they were meant to be together, maybe…
Never bothering to tire her mind by possible reasons, she swiftly got out of the carriage, wanting to meet him properly with a warm smile on her face, which immediately fell realizing it wasn't her Athos. Her heart clenched painfully once again. How much longer did she have to wait? Why wasn't he coming? Oh, he couldn't abandon his brothers, stupid honor and his country, could he? This is who he was. A liar, a thief, a bloody fool. Stealing her heart only to break it into millions of pieces, giving her false hopes only to shatter them by the first chance, making her believe in his love, only to find his heart stone cold and empty for her. How could he be like this? No, how could she still love him this much despite him being such a cruel one? It's been said you can't order your heart who you should love and who you shouldn't. She always thought she could easily control her feelings, but even their first kiss was enough to make her change her mind. She could still feel it on her lips. Soft and sweet, like wind caressing her lips. Sadly, everything was over. She couldn't be the same woman she used to be with him. Couldn't if she ended up alone again. She needed him to wake that woman inside her once again and let her live in peace with a slightly clearer soul. She was tired of being Milady, but it was her only armor against the cruel world she was stuck in. Everything would be easier with him. He was her candle in the dark, her sun in the storm, her shelter in the rain…
She sighed and was about to open the carriage door, when she heard horse's neighing again. Closing her eyes, she forced herself not to look towards the approaching person, but instead open that damn door, get inside and go to England, where a new life was waiting for her. It would be another stranger, hurrying somewhere away from Paris and she would be disappointed again. Yet, somehow she couldn't bring herself together to do it. She just stood there, leaning against the carriage door, eyes closed, heart in hand, waiting for a stranger to stop or continue his journey. She almost felt like she was waiting for the verdict that would send her to heaven or hell.
The horse stopped near her carriage, but she remained in the same position, unmoving. Not daring to open her eyes, barely breathing, convincing herself it wasn't him.
"Anne." – Athos said in his usual rich voice, making her lose herself for a moment.
"You are late." – She replied, finally looking towards his direction. Despite the sharpness of the words, her eyes are warm and grateful.
"I am sorry." – He said as if he had missed a date and added after the following silence - "We need to talk."
"We need to talk since that day." – She replied, forcing herself to calm down.
"Will you ever tell me the truth?" – He nearly begged.
She sighed, knowing he would demand it one day. Thomas trying to rape her was a tale she had created to calm her conscience, to let herself and everyone believe she had no choice. How could she tell him that she had killed his younger brother to shut his loud mouth? It didn't matter if Athos knew everything or not, he would never forgive her anyway.
"Please." – He continued his plea, - "I promise to listen and make a rational decision."
"Thomas didn't rape me". – Her mind wanted to think of another lie, but her tongue didn't support it. – "He just found out the truth and confronted me. Accused me in loving only your title and money. It made me lose my senses. I truly loved you and a pain of losing you blinded me. I couldn't let him take you away from me. It wasn't your money or your title, but your simplicity, greatness and beautiful soul. I loved you more than anything else. You were the best gift I had ever received from god. I know it's hard to believe me, but I didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted to talk to him normally, but he was coming closer, then grabbed my wrist and wanted to drag me to you for accusation. I took a small blade out of my boot in order to just scare him, but when it didn't have the desired effect, instead caused him to tighten his grip, I stabbed him in anger."
She watched his expression changing several times, before settling on a broken, dazed one. Athos wasn't shocked or surprised. Everything happened almost the way he had expected, but it was still painful to think of it.
"Athos?" – Her soft voice, filled with fear forced his mind to focus on reality. But he remains silent. The look on his face convinces her he would never forgive her, let alone go with her, so with a heavy sigh she goes to open the carriage door, when someone tugs at her wrist. She freezes for a moment, but turns around to find him looking at her. His face is a mixture of different feelings. She stood there, waiting for him to break the spell again. He keeps looking at her and holding her wrist gently.
"I can't go with you." – He finally says after a few minutes of silence.
"I know and I understand why." – She looked into his blue eyes, drowning into them, searching for any signs of love and warmth, but despite their beauty, his eyes are unreadable just as his expression.
"You don't." – He says calmly, his eyes boring into hers, - "There will be a war with Spain soon, so Treville asked me to stay and lead the men."
She looks at him silently for a little while, letting her mind sink his words.
"So, it means you…" – She left the sentence unfinished, wanting him to finish it.
"Yes, he wants me to be a captain". – Athos nodded, but he didn't seem happy or proud, but looked like his usual self.
His words made her last hope of persuading him fade away. When it came to honor and duty, Athos was quick to put them above everything else, especially his own happiness. It was painful, but she would bear it. It wasn't the first time he had hurt her with words or actions.
"Congratulations". – She blurted out, throat burning as if she had been holding a fire ball inside her.
He nodded briefly.
"So, I guess it's time for me to go now. Goodbye, Athos and good luck. I hope you will forgive me someday". – She said, turning on her heel to get inside the carriage, when she felt a tug on her wrist once again.
Athos used her wrist to pull her against him. She was stunned, but said nothing, just kept waiting for his next move. Her husband didn't make her wait for long. Cupping her face gently, he sealed her lips with his, kissing her first gently, then more and more passionately. Her hand sneaked around his neck, pulling him closer, while the other one moved into his hair, playing with his curls.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, letting out a contented sigh. This woman was both a curse and a blessing at the same time. However, living without her seemed impossible. He had endured her absence long enough and never wished to feel the same emptiness ever again. Letting her go now meant to say goodbye to the future that would surely be bright with her. Secretly he had always been trying to find a new love, or at least forget the old one, but his heart guided him strictly towards her. That's why their paths were always crossing again. He just wanted to give himself another chance to prove that he was worth of everything he had or wished to have. And having her by his side was one of his greatest desires. He couldn't let her go after feeling the absolute rightness in being with her. They were made for each other and denying it would be the stupidest decision ever made by him.
"Please, stay." – He whispered.
Anne looked at him stunned, mouth slightly open. How could he ask her to stay after getting to know the truth? No, it wasn't supposed to be like this. He must be angry and yell at her, but look at him! Standing here, looking at her with oh so soft expression. She held back a sob, knowing she didn't deserve such kind of love. But maybe god knew better as he gave them another choice and she was hardly going to complain about that.
"I will stay." – She said finally, smiling at him. Her eyes wet.
Athos hugged her tightly, resting his head on her shoulder. Her hands stroked his hair as he kept murmuring her name like a prayer. It felt too good to be real, too tempting to resist, so she didn't.
After pulling away, Athos helped her onto his horse and they headed back home with their future shining in their eyes. They were together again, as it was meant to be.