Disclaimer: Don't own them.

Notes: Never thought I'd be writing one of these again. But it's not a true "The One With..." one shot so it's not in that timeline so anyone can read it. I just liked the idea of using the title again and the characters. This does contain my OC, Kelly Higgins. Oh, this is a SATIRE. Also try to find the Heroes hints. Like always, enjoy.

The One Without a Stalker

Mac looked up quickly and glanced around the lab. For once, everyone seemed to be working hard. Danny was doing a reconstruction with Sheldon. Stella and Lindsay were working on the Petrelli case. Kelly was talking to Adam about something. It was almost too good to be true. There had to be something wrong. There just had to be. He glanced out the window. In the last six years, things had not gone well for people in the lab. Especially him. Two stalkers. Two. Most people never have to deal with one stalker but not Mac Taylor. Mac Taylor has dealt with two.

Nothing was out of the usual outside. But then again what isn't normal for any other city is just happenstance in New York. And of course at the end of the day, Mac Taylor had a stalker to look forward to. Not that that was much to look forward to. There were many more things to look forward to. Dinner was one. Food was always good. A semi-decent night of sleep also ranked up there. Stalkers just remained one of those things to avoid.

To Mac, however, they had begun to lose their power of creepiness. They still creeped him out, and maybe third time really was the charm. Maybe the third one would be the last one.

A knock at his office door interrupted his thoughts. "Come in."

He watched the newest of his CSIs come in followed by Adam. "Hey, Boss, I think I finally figured out where this screw goes." She held up a small platinum screw. He nodded to go on. "The brand's called Sylar. I-"

"We," Adam interrupted.

"Yes, we found that out, but it's a pretty popular brand of watch so we don't know who sells it. But you wanted to know if we found anything off of it," she handed him the evidence.

"Thank you," he told her absentmindedly.

"Yo, Boss, somethin' up? 'Cause it looks like you've seen a ghost."

"I'm fine," he lied easily. She nodded and went away humming the theme to Ghostbusters. He went back to looking out his office window. He recognized a man waiting on the street below. He had been waiting there just five minutes before. Just waiting.

Mac watched him for a few minutes as the man began to pace back and forth. The head of the crime lab waited with baited breath for something to happen. After ten or so minutes, the man was met by a woman, and the two hugged. Mac felt rather thick for believing this man was a stalker. Yet as the saying goes 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' Mac was already 0 for 2 on that one. He had been fooled twice. Sitting down at his desk, he took the time to think about those two times.

The first time almost ended with him in a body bag or worse, one of the team. But he had gotten out of this one with minor injuries. Maybe a bruised ego. Maybe. The second had left the stalker more damaged than him. He despised that he helped that girl that much, but if he had not have, she would have died. But she had forged evidence which, of course, justified her almost dying. He needed to have just stopped that train of thought before he went through her messy past.

Then this past fall there was the case with the girl who killed her stalker. It broke the entire team's heart to have to arrest her, but the law must be upheld. So they did. But Hawkes did get in that word. As pained as it was to admit that although she deserved to be locked up, Hawkes did the right thing. She did not deserve prison after what she went through.

Another knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Mac," Stella bursted through the door. "I've gotten nowhere with this Petrelli case. The footprints just stop. Like he just flew out of there or something. The radiation there was off the charts. Also there are at least five other unidentified shoeprints. One we know is from Officer Parkman, but the others are dust in the wind."

He turned around and shook his head. "Stell, Nathan Petrelli is a U.S. congressman. It'll be hard to take him down."

"I know. That wasn't why I came in here, Mac."

He raised his eyebrow.

"The team's worried about you."

"I appreciate your concern, but-"

"You're okay?" she finished for him. "You don't have to lie to me."

He thought for a moment. "I feel like I'm being watched."

"That's understandable."

"You don't think it's too –"

She cut him off. "Conceited? Vain? Smug? Arrogant? Self-righteous? Sno-"

"Thank you, Stella. I get the picture," Mac cut her off.

"Sorry, just helping you paint it. Oh, before I forget, the blood at my crime scene matches DNA from Kelly's scene which matches DNA from Danny's scene. We're guessing they're connected," she told him with a sarcastic smile. "I'm going to see if I can find the 'flying' Nathan Petrelli." She left him without another word.

Mac sat at his desk for a minute or so. For the first time in a while, his thoughts were clear of his many stalkers. He didn't plead 'what did I ever do to You, God?' and 'when will this ever end?'. He just thought of the case. He stood up and walked over to the door to meet the rest of the team in the layout room. They had a case to solve.

He missed the cold eyes that watched him from across the street, waiting for him.

A/N: Not my best, but it's meant to be funny. Oh and if you guess what the scenes were you get a cookie XD Hope you liked it. Please review. I'd love to know what you think. Have a fantastic day! XD