FIVE MINUTES OF FAIRIES
by an awesome blossom
While smoking stolen cigarettes, modern Link and Ilia discuss their lives.
An AU drabble series spawned from Five Minutes Of. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is property of Nintendo and co.
They sat on the stone wall of someone's fence, huddling against each other for warmth against the crisp autumn air while smoking stolen cigarettes.
Link put his arm around her and drew her closer as he talked. "And then he was all, 'Well how come you'll flirt with Shad and not me' and I just looked at him and said, 'Look honey, all you want is money. If I flirt with you, I'm afraid you'll charge me for the experience.'"
Ilia laughed. "And what did Purlo say?"
"Nothing," Link chuckled as he took a drag. "He kissed me."
"Oh my goddesses! Are you serious? ...Did he charge you?"
"Tried to!"
Laughter overcame them as they doubled over, Link going so far as to fall mere feet off the wall. He held out his cigarette as he fell, only concerned about saving it. This of course didn't help Ilia's laughter.
When things in their lungs settled down, Link took another puff amidst the damp leaves. "So yeah, men kind of suck."
"I wouldn't know," Ilia said as she jumped off the wall. "I'm a lesbian."
"Since when?! Girl, you need to tell me this stuff."
She laughed. "I'm telling you now, aren't I?"
"Not cool, Ilia, not cool!"
"Don't worry!" Ilia smirked as she walked off. "You'll be the first one to meet her...tomorrow."
"H-HER?" Link stammered as he rose to catch up.