A Mother's Touch
By Violetlight
Disclaimer: Anne and Todd McCaffrey are the owners of the Dragonriders of Pern series. I'm simply borrowing their world to tell a story. Thank you, Anne, and R.I.P.
Dedicated to my own little toddler, Arden. Mommy loves you!
Silly Holder girls, only good for bearing children. That is, unless they are lucky enough to be Searched.
How many times had Jani heard that mantra, growing up? Only good for bearing children, as if having children was the lowest, most insignificant thing a woman could do with her life?
Of course, being in a Weyr, a lot of things took precedence. Caring for dragons came first, as it should, as did all the other necessary tasks that made Igen an efficient, thread fighting machine. Everyone in the Lower Caverns, the non-dragonriders whose support enabled the riders to do their jobs, were almost as proud of their service as their counterparts a-dragonback. Even without dragons of their own, they knew their lot was much better than the Holders that made up the majority of Pern's population. Here in the Weyr, they had freedoms that their Hold-bound counterparts could barely dream of.
Of course, for girls like her, that freedom was conditional on one detail: that they didn't have children 'holding them down'. Even for those who never stood on the Hatching Sands, there was authority in supervising the Weyr creche, organizing tithes and supplies, in learning Dragonhealing or doing any of the tasks that required that something be present between one's ears. An ambitious woman could even apprentice to one of the Craft Halls, and bring the skills learned there back to her Weyr of birth, with far less hassle than her Holder sisters could.
Jani herself had dreams of becoming a Weyrwoman's Records Assistant. She had always been clever with her letters and numbers, every Weyr Harper had said so, and could have even been apprenticed to Harper Hall if she had a shred of musical inclination. What she lacked in rhythm and tone, however, she more than made up for with her eye for detail, her steady, neat writing and her ability to find even the most obscure and hidden of hides in the organized chaos that was the Weyr Records room. The Records Assistant position wasn't one widely advertised, but was still essential. After all, caring for a Gold dragon and dealing with politics, both Weyr and Hold, took up more than enough of a Weyrwoman's time, even without factoring in her responsibilities during Threadfall. Any Weyrwoman worth her dragon valued skilled assistance, and was grateful for the help, especially for a task that many Goldriders considered a boring chore, unless, of course, they were looking for something that solved a Larger Problem. Senior Weyrwoman Rozza had been no exception, although she did demand one thing of her assistants – that they were not "distracted" by other duties, with motherhood being the largest distraction of them all, in her opinion.
Jani had known this when she found out that her dalliance with a certain Brownrider had … an unexpected consequence. She knew she could have asked Rozza, or any of the female dragonriders, for a quick trip between if she had really wanted, and none of them would have denied her. Not here. Not in the Weyr. She even could have fostered the child off on one of the other Lower Caverns women, and nobody would have batted an eye.
But as soon as she had seen little Saran open his bright, brown eyes and look up at her, his sweet, innocent little face … she couldn't do it. She loved her son. She loved him with all her heart. He was hers, her baby, and there was nothing on Pern that could ever change that.
Was this what Impression was like?
So it was for the next two and a half Turns, her "job" may have been as just another Lower Caverns worker, but her passion and pleasure had been to watch her son grow. She watched with pride as the squirmy, skinny little newborn that spent most of his days curled up against her in his sling while she worked, grew into an amazingly chubby, pre-crawling infant. Watched as he ate his first baby cereal, had learned to crawl, as his cries turned to delightful little babbles. Watched as he explored a world that was so brand new, as everyday things like a lost sock on the floor became something exciting. As he grew from baby to toddler, he shied away from the other children, staying near her almost all the time, except when the Weyr Harper found time to sing to the youngest children. He especially loved stories, not only the "Littlest Fire Lizard" and other tales that Harper Alyos had kindly lent to her, but the stories Jani would make up for him as he curled sleepily up in her lap at night. It was in those moments especially, holding her tuckered out little boy, that the doubts that nagged at the back of Jani's mind melted away.
He was worth it. He was completely, utterly worth it, and shards to anyone who said otherwise!
It was for Saran that Jani found herself excused from the usual Lower Caverns hustle of a Hatching Day. Brownrider L'nard – Saran's father – had insisted that their son have a chance to see the Hatching, even as a toddler. Maybe it was just to show off, to see which of the Candidates he had Searched would end up Impressing. Jani had overheard him swearing up and down to anyone who would listen about how Saran himself had a better chance than some of the Candidates the other Search Riders had found. Whether he was just blowing smoke to the Blueriders who made up most of the other Search Riders didn't matter to Jani. It got her out from the kitchens and gave her a nice, relatively relaxing day with Saran instead. She was grateful, not only for the break, but that both L'nard and Brown Salith were as attentive as they were to their boy. Most children with rider fathers didn't have that luxury.
Jani smiled at the thought, and at little Saran, who had started humming along to the dragons' pre-hatching humming, or at least trying to. She held the rambunctious toddler close to her at their spot beside the visitor stands, making sure he couldn't run out onto the sands himself. Hatching dragonets were often clumsy, and could accidently be dangerous even to the young adult candidates. It was obviously no place for a baby human. As the first egg started to crack, however, she could tell she didn't need to worry so much. Saran was starring, with the same intense focus she had when looking up a particularly obscure detail in a centuries-old record. L'nard was right – Saran would make a fine dragonrider one day.
The Hatching went like most others she had observed, or had even stood for a few times in her youth, before her obsession with writing and records had taken over, and, of course, before Saran had been born. The eggs cracked, the baby dragons had tumbled out and had toddled over to their chosen candidates with tiny, baby steps that reminded Jani so much of Saran, that same clumsiness mixed with certainty that it seemed only dragonets and 2 Turn-olds could pull off. Jani had avoided Hatchings since a few turns before Saran's birth. She had been too old to stand a chance, everyone had said, in her late twenties. Now, in her mid-thirties and with a young child, there was no way a baby dragon would want her, so where was the harm in watching? Besides, the pangs of wanting she had once felt at Hatchings was now replaced by happy reminders of her own son's babyhood. It was actually rather … nice.
Around Gold Tazzeth's pride, her Queen egg, a scattering of Searched Holder girls and a few hopeful weyrbred watched with the nervous anticipation expected of potential queenriders. Jani shook her head at the weyrbred girls. For Faranth only knew what reason, Queens had the tendency to almost always pick Holder girls as their riders. In all the records she had read of Igen's past, Jani had only come across an instance where a Gold dragonet had picked a weyrbred girl twice, and both had been fostered at Holds for a significant portion of their childhoods, before claiming their weyrbred right to Stand. No, it was the fighting dragons who liked sensible, hard-working weyrbred girls – greens, and occasionally blues. Indeed, one of the girls, an older, raven-haired young woman with a no-nonsense air about her, turned her attention away from the now-rocking Queen egg and towards a wandering Green dragonet. Her eyes lit up as the Green toddled towards her, and buried her little head in her rider's lap with the same enthusiasm as Saran when he gave her a hug.
"Dagun." Jani looked down at her son, as he pointed at the hatchlings and said his newest, and almost only, word. He smiled a big, adorable toddler grin, and repeated. "Dagun. Rrraawww!"
"That's right, my sweet. Dragons say 'rawr!'" Jani assured him. Saran was a late talker. The other mothers assured her that he would learn to speak on his own time, and once he started, he was likely to never stop ("Just like his father!" L'nard's own mother, Bev, had said proudly). Still, it couldn't hurt to encourage him.
"Rawr," Saran repeated, almost whispering the 'word'.
Jani noticed her son's attention shift once again to the Hatching Sands as he continued to 'rawr' to himself, and followed his gaze, to the Queen egg. All but one of the weyrbred girls had left, either they had Impressed other dragons, or had given up, Jani didn't know. The Holder girls still surrounded the egg, which was now a patchwork of cracks, just waiting now for the little Gold to break through. Jani saw one of them, a little blonde girl, not much more than a child herself, maybe 13 turns old, mouthing silently at the egg. She could guess what she was doing, pleading with the dragonet inside, saying how much she didn't want to go 'home'. Not like the Weyr would ever force a failed Candidate to leave. There were always other clutches to Stand for, and the freedom of the Weyr either way. It was likely no one had got around to telling the girl as such. Still, Jani hadn't expected a little Blue dragonet, not the Gold, to be the one to answer the girl's plead. It seemed she could still be surprised by Hatchings after all.
Jani turned her attention to the other eggs, as the much more numerous boy candidates surrounded the three eggs left, almost to the point where Jani couldn't see. She could hardly blame them – three dragonets left for almost 20 boys, not to mention if any of those three were greens or blues who would prefer a girl instead. She caught a glimpse of klah-brown hide, almost like a miniature Salith, and pointed it out to Saran. "Look, my little flit. Just like Daddy's Salith!" she said, as Saran started 'rawring' again happily. The boy the dragonet had chosen looked somewhat familiar. She scanned the ledges, to where L'nard and Salith were watching the Hatching, and quickly found his familiar smile as easily as a wayward record date. The baby brown's rider had been one of his boys, she was sure of it.
L'nard's expression, even from so far away, then changed from a proud grin, to shock. Puzzled, Jani wondered why, until she heard Saran's happy, and loud shriek from her arms. "Dagun!" the toddler squeaked and giggled ecstatically, as his little hand patted a little golden snout.
Jani … brother Saran … my name is Miketh. I love you!
"I love you too, my beautiful Miketh …" Jani said, as she felt the wonder of innocent little eyes looking up at her for the second time. For a second time, Jani would have the pleasure of watching a baby grow up, this time, her own baby dragon. And her first baby didn't preclude that from happening at all!
I'm hungry …
Miketh butted her little golden head against Jani, as Saran shrieked and threw his little toddler arms around his dragonic 'sister'. L'nard picked their son up, and said "now, now, let Mommy get Baby Miketh her dinner. How would you like a Sali-back ride?"
As Goldrider Jani helped the newest addition to her little family get her first meal, one wayward thought came to mind:
This is a new one for the Records!