Behold, my first Kingdom Hearts fanfiction EVER. It's nothing to be proud of, it's more or less something to get me into the groove of writing with a new set of characters. Hopefully, I'll write more one-shots and series' in the future...!
"I will always be beside you until the very end,
Wiping all your tears away, being your best friend.
I will smile when you smile,
Feel all the pain you do.
And if you cry a single tear,
I promise I will cry too."
The soft crinkling of paper echoed against four walls that belonged to a certain redhead. A redhead, who in fact, had been faced with one of his least favourite metaphors.
A brick wall.
Another sigh escaped Axel's lips as he stared blankly at the paper in his grasp. His brain barely processed the words that were scrawled along the lines neatly; after reading the rhyme hundreds of times give or take, he knew that poem like the back of his hand. He'd been sitting there for nearly an hour now, and he couldn't get this dilemma off of his mind. To be more exact, that same metaphorical brick wall was keeping him at square one, making him incapable of moving on. To say the least, Axel was stuck.
See, the builder of this so-called "wall" knew Axel inside and out. Unfortunately, the only thing he couldn't read from the redhead were the emotions that stayed locked up in the pit of his heart. For Axel, this obliviousness frustrated him to no bounds. But to the builder, he would never know. His innocence managed to pull the wool over his eyes and leave Axel a complete wreck.
Being the professional wreck that he was, the redhead left himself to be cooped up in his room on a lively Saturday night, refusing any invites to go partying or socializing with his friends. Instead, he decided to position himself comfortably on his bed to spend countless hours having a staring contest with a simple piece of paper. Luckily, this piece of paper held meaning, or Axel would have felt like a complete dumb-ass by that point.
"What don't you get?" He mumbled to himself, not sure if it was directed towards himself or the paper, but the thought vocalized itself anyway. "He doesn't love you."
"Roxyyy! Oh Roxas!" Axel wailed from down the street and he and Riku jogged behind a set of twins that were trying their best to keep looking forward.
"Sora, I swear to God, just keep walking." Roxas muttered, clutching a notebook to his chest tightly with one hand while adjusting his backpack strap with the other. It wasn't that he didn't want to hang out with Axel, but he knew that his mother would be upset with the blonde and his brother if they came home late for the third time that week.
"But Riku is supposed to help me study today, Rox!" His older brother whined, and Roxas tried not to face-palm. He forgot that the brunette and the silver-haired boy needed to brush up on their Biology grades so they decided to set up a two-person study group.
"Then let Ri catch up with us, but we can't let Ax-AHH!" Roxas stopped abruptly in a surprised cry as he was tackled from behind, almost getting a face-full of pavement if his hands hadn't broken his fall. "What the fuck, Axel?"
"Excuse me, Mr. Cranky, but I'm not the one ignoring their best friend. Either that, or you seriously need to get a hearing aid. I was like, screaming at you back there. Quite louder than usual, too. Don't you think, Riku?" Axel asked, still straddling Roxas' back with the hint of a smirk on his lips as he looked up at the silver-haired teen.
"I think you need to learn the 'light tap on the shoulder' technique. It's a lot easier and doesn't risk anyone receiving damage to their face from the sidewalk." Riku replied, kicking Axel in the thigh lightly to nudge him off. "You okay down there, Roxas?"
"Ooh, just peachy. I love me the taste of asphalt in the late afternoon." He grumbled, wiggling under his redhead deadweight in an attempt to get up. "Am I allowed to stand now?"
"Who, you? Why of course, Roximus! Why didn't you just ask earlier?" Axel stood up with a chuckle, holding out a hand as he assisted the fallen blonde and Roxas dusted himself off. "So what are you doing today?"
"Riku and I are going to study for Bio. I don't think Roxy has any plans, though." Sora responded, and Roxas sighed at his brother's daft demeanor. He didn't mean to seem rude, but fifty percent of the time, Sora knew how to say all the wrong things.
"Oh, really?" Axel inquired as he raised an eyebrow, slinging an arm over the smaller blonde's shoulders. "Does that mean we're hanging out again today, Roxy? I'm almost getting tired of you." The redhead said sarcastically, a cheshire grin donning lips and Roxas rolled his eyes. He knew Axel was only kidding, considering the thought of ever getting tired of one another seemed impossible.
"We can't go walking around Twilight Town today since my mom wants me home at a decent time, but I suppose you could come over." Roxas shrugged, his face still stoic after his unexpected attack from the boisterous redhead.
Said boisterous redhead pumped his fist into the air in triumph. "Yes! That means I totally get to spend time with your mom again- Ow, Jesus Christ, Roxas!" He cursed as the blonde smacked him swiftly upside the head, causing Axel to stumble forward a little. "I was just kidding! That's Riku's job." He grinned.
Riku held his hands up defensively, beginning to walk away with Sora in tow, who was shaking his head and giggled. "Nuh-uh. Do not bring me into this." The silver-haired boy said sternly before picking up his pace. Roxas and Axel stayed behind, watching the other two teens walk away.
"...Does Riku really have a thing for my mom?" Roxas mumbled, and Axel burst into uncontrollable laughter as they began walking as well.
Axel had to scold himself for that one. He really couldn't blame Roxas for being so unaware of his attraction for the small blonde if the redhead was sending all the wrong signs. The "friendship" signs.
"Wiping all your tears away, being your best friend."
That was probably all he ever thought of him. Just a friend, nothing more. Sure, him and Roxas were close friends, but that didn't mean they had to take it any farther than what it already was. Besides, he wasn't even sure if Roxas was gay as well. Axel was pretty sure that joking about Roxas' mom didn't help his questionable sexuality, either. He knew that the blonde had a few girlfriends in the past, and Axel had heard that Roxas had a drunken stumble with a guy named Hayner a few months back, but that didn't mean anything. Just because Axel and Roxas hugged a lot and could be physically and emotionally close without things getting uncomfortable didn't mean there were any deeper feelings being passed between one another. Well, as far as reciprocation went.
Axel zoned back to reality as he rested the back of his head against the wall with a hollow 'thump', sitting the paper at his feet as the redhead pulled his knees to his chest. He had to get this stupid poem off of his mind. But it haunted him, and as soon as he closed his eyes, another flashback ensued.
"I think you've been hanging out with Demyx too much," Roxas commented as he scribbled a few more words into the notebook he was writing in, and Axel gave him a quick glance before looking back to the computer. "Why do say that?"
The two had been lounging around in the blonde's bedroom for several hours now since Riku and Sora had staked their claim on the dining room for the evening to study. Axel had resorted to playing mindless games on Roxas' laptop while the blonde occupied himself with his flimsy green notebook, gaze intently focused.
"You're so..." "Bubbly?" Axel finished his sentence before chuckling. "Yeah, that'd be Dem. I swear he sneaks crack into my Cheerios every morning."
"Then you're a drug addict, not a bubbly person. There's a pretty big difference." Roxas countered with a small smirk, and Axel rolled his eyes before peering over the laptop screen curiously.
"What are you doing?" The redhead asked, and Roxas let out an airy laugh. "There goes the crack, giving you the focus of a five-year old. You should tell Demyx to stop feeding you that stuff."
Roxas' response increased the Axel's curiosity ten-fold. "You avoided the question." "Maybe I don't want to tell you what I'm doing."
"I'll tell you what I'm doing if you tell me what you're doing." The redhead offered, and Roxas looked up from his current activity. "I know what you're doing, Axel."
"Oh really? What am I doing?"
"You're playing Save the Sheriff."
"...No."
"It's either that or you're watching pornography on mute; which one would you like me to believe?" Roxas quirked an eyebrow and Axel found himself cornered before he chuckled lightly. "I'll go with Save the Sheriff. Porn needs volume, y'know," The redhead winked before looking back down at the screen. Axel barely caught the blonde's face flush at his daring remark, and he felt his lips curl up into a grin before he realized Roxas had led him off track. "Wait!" He exclaimed, causing the smaller teen to jump slightly, startled. "You still didn't tell me what you're doing."
Roxas looked up from his notebook, shocking the redhead when his expression was cold. "Can you just let it go, Axel? It's nothing important." Axel noticed the light blush hadn't left the blonde's cheeks as he snapped, but he didn't deem it of any significance. Instead, he wondered why Roxas was so tense with him about the "medial" task he was working on.
"...Alright." Axel sat up in his seat, closing the windows on the laptop before standing up and grabbing his jacket off the back of the chair. Roxas looked up questioningly. "What are you doing?"
"Leaving," the redhead replied nonchalantly, "You seem pretty caught up with what you're doing anyway; I'll just talk to you later, okay?" Axel barely had time to pull one arm of his sweater on before Roxas stood up, holding the notebook behind his back and shifting his weight between each leg. It was the classic Guilty Roxas pose, and the redhead had to resist the urge to grin from ear-to-ear.
"I'm sorry." The blonde apologized, and Axel shook his head, but Roxas continued anyway, his tone hinting a sense of pleading. "You don't have to go, I just... It's sort of a project I'm working on. It's not even done yet." Roxas took a small step towards Axel, wrapping his arms around his torso and the redhead returned the hug willingly. They held that stance for a few moments before the blonde spoke up again. "...I guess you could see what I have so far."
"Really?" Axel inquired, not minding the new door that had opened, but he wondered what kind of boundaries he would cross if he said yes. He'd learned over the years that just because Roxas would say something was alright did not mean it truly was. "If you want to."
Axel carefully moved his hands down the smaller boy's back, sliding until his fingertips made contact with the notebook. Grabbing it, he felt Roxas hesitate before letting go and watching the redhead cast his gaze over the open page.
I shouldn't have pried... The redhead thought to himself in a reprimanding tone. He knew, and Roxas knew that what he was doing was a bad idea- even if their reasons were on different ends of the spectrum. If Axel had just stayed in that calming embrace they found each other in, it would have been perfect. That was all the redhead was looking for; a deeper connection with this boy who had no clue how much Axel cared for him. That hug was just a taste of paradise, the vision that Axel had for him and Roxas. Then he had to go and throw it all away by being nosy.
Of course, when the poem first hit him the taller teen was at a loss for words. Something had been written for him, about him. Axel had to reread it several times in awe just to know that what he had seen was really true. Looking back on that moment, he realized the large contrasts in emotion from how he felt then and now. Now, even glancing at the piece of paper made his stomach turn, knowing things would probably never change for the two best friends.
Best friends... Axel was starting to hate that title.
"Roxas..." The redhead barely ever used the smaller boy's full name, only during the appropriate occasions. He was sure Roxas' parents would be weirded out if Axel started calling him "Roxy" right out of the blue. "...This is amazing."
When he looked up from the paper he could see Roxas' face had tinted a deep shade of red, and a small chuckle escaped the redhead's lips as he wrapped his arms around the blonde once again. "...Is this about me?"
"Who else would it be about? Besides Riku and Sora, you're the only real friend I've got." Axel knew the meaning behind that statement. Roxas did have other friends. Hayner, Pence, and Olette to be exact. Unfortunately, after the previously mentioned "drunken stumble" with the first of the three, Hayner backed off and when he would interact with Roxas, he would treat him like trash. With that, the blonde had let Hayner go about on his own way, and it turned out Pence and Olette were nothing but followers and left as well. Axel didn't mind, though; it meant him and Roxas could spend more time together and he could get special treatment. A prime example? What was occurring at that very moment.
"Oh well, I'm touched, Roxy." Axel teased and received a grumpy shove in return. "Aw, don't be such a spoil sport." Axel ran a hand through the golden locks, a small smile returning on Roxas' complexion. "I really do like it, Rox."
"Really?" "Yeah." Axel grinned softly, pulling Roxas back into the hug for a third time. "Can I keep it?"
"I-it's not finished yet." The blonde stuttered, and Axel scoffed. "Finished, shminished. I like it just the way it is for now."
If only Axel had realized sooner that he didn't like it just the way it was. In fact, it infuriated him to realize how many stupid moves he had pulled because he was so caught up being Roxas' friend, not his potential lover.
Lover... He ran the word over a few times in his mind. He loved Roxas. As a friend, and as something more. He knew that every time they would hang out together, it was bigger than just a simple walk around town or a sea salt ice cream on the clock tower. It was time he got to spend with Roxas. /His/ Roxas. Or at least that was what he wanted, anyway.
"I will always be beside you until the very end."
As what? As a friend? Even though that was exactly what the poem said in the next line, the redhead wished there was just a double meaning behind the blonde's words. Instead, every syllable on that page was read for face value. Nothing more, nothing less. Roxas cared, but not the way Axel wished and hoped for him to.
Axel had managed to hang onto that poem for almost a month's time, reading it nightly and trying to force the words to rearrange and tell him a different story with his mind. Of course, they didn't, but something inside the redhead told him to keep trying. That was when Demyx finally decided to confront him.
"It's been three and a half weeks, Axel." Demyx sat back in his booth seat as the two teens sat across from each other, enjoying a brunch on a Saturday morning. The redhead and the mull-hawked boy had shared a two-bedroom suite after both rebelling against their parents and deciding to leave home without any second thoughts. There were no regrets considering both boys got along with one another particularly well, so long as they both kept steady jobs to pay the rent problems never arose. "Seriously, dude. I don't know how you can be so hung up on this."
Axel sighed dejectedly, resting his warm forehead on the cool, faux marble surface of the table, giving Demyx a weak shrug. "I don't know, Dem. It's just... I don't think I've ever made a relationship so difficult on myself." The redhead sat back up, meeting the quirky yet knowledgeable pair of ocean depths that stared him down in questioning. "I really do love him, you know? And he has no idea! That's no what bothers me. I mean, we've been friends for so long, and it seems like that's all we're gonna stay... What if he's not even gay, Dem? What if he's completely straight as a log and then I blurt it out somehow in the middle of a conversation and- what if he hates me after that? Oh god, I don't know what I would do after that-"
"Axel? Axel! Ax, come on, now," It was barely ever Demyx to be the laid back and relaxed one of the pair, but ever since the poetic incident three weeks prior to the brunch intervention, the lanky redhead had been anything but calm. "Keep the word diarrhea to a minimum, honey. We don't need you exploding anytime soon." Demyx crossed his arms over his chest and sat for a moment in thought before speaking again. "I honestly think you're overreacting. So he wrote you a poem? Big whoop. He's being a good friend; you shouldn't be so overwhelmed by it considering you two have been besties for forever now."
"I know." Axel sighed, lolling his head back against the seat to stair at the ceiling blankly, unable to come up with a more detailed response. "I just can't get it off of my mind."
"Then you need something to shove it out of the way for the time being." The mull-hawked teen said with a cheery grin. "Come on, Romeo! Get the stick out of your ass and let's go dancing tonight. You seriously need to loosen up; this whole 'angst-y teenager' thing doesn't suit you at all."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that role belonged to that emo kid you're hooking up with. Is he coming with us too?" Axel said sarcastically, and he could see the blush forming on Demyx' cheeks at the mention of the slate-haired teen he had been seeing for just over a month. The redhead knew it was wrong to tease Dem about it, especially since Zexion was a decent guy, but in his foul mood there was no holding back his tongue. "Sorry."
"No, don't worry about it." Demyx mumbled before regaining his composure and meeting Axel with a look. "So are you coming?" "If he's going, I'll pass. I don't need to be around a couple right now." The redhead realized what he had said and quickly scrambled for a cover before the mull-hawked teen's expression became too offended. "I-I didn't mean it like that, Dem. Zexion's awesome and all, I just-"
"Really, don't worry about it, Axel. I understand what you're going through." Demyx held a hand up to silence the other, leaning an elbow on the table while pushing his eggs around on the plate with his fork with his free hand. "What are you gonna do instead? You can't just sit around and wallow in your thoughts again. I hope you realize how stupid of an idea that is."
"Well, I don't want to go out, what else am I supposed to do?" "Maybe you should invite Roxas over?" Demyx offered, and Axel let out an acidic scoff. "Thanks, but no thanks. I think I should probably loosen the reigns on our friendship until I can get my fucking thoughts in order. But thanks for the input anyway, Demyx. I'll see you back at the place later." With that, the redhead got up and started on his way out of the diner in one fluid motion, throwing on his jacket without any last words from Demyx.
And here he was. Alone on a Saturday night because he was too idiotic and pushed everyone away. Even if it was just for one night, he'd never felt so dense. Maybe he was dampening his own spirits, but who cared? Demyx was probably having the time of his life with Zexion, and the redhead was sure that Roxas, Sora, and Riku were probably all smiles back at the twins' house. And Axel was alone.
He started to realize how silly he had made this whole situation. Demyx did have a valid point; he was letting this thing get way out of hand. Axel had let his emotions get in the way, and now he was paying for it. At first, he didn't care. He was honestly just living a life behind rose-tinted glasses with all of his friends, never really thinking what would happen if he took them off. Then he did, and started to view everything differently. Instead of a kind, heartfelt poem from his best friend who he wouldn't trade for the world, he saw it as a death sentence for his love life. Never mind the effort or emotion that the blonde boy probably put into the small rhyme scheme; Axel was too caught up with the cause and effect, rather than what was happening right then and now.
And that was when the regret kicked in.
The redhead finally managed to neatly fold the piece of paper and tuck it in his back pocket before flopping back onto his bed, the only sound resonating throughout the room being the squeaking off his mattress and a gloomy sigh from the one lonely soul in the entire house. At least, that was what he thought.
"Axel."
The sound of his name being voiced almost made the redhead jump six feet in the air, but as soon as he realized who it was he merely turned his head and offered a small smile. "Hey. How did you get in here?" He asked, and the quiet voice whispered from the doorway.
"Well, I called your phone several times but you didn't answer, so I called Demyx and he said you were at home. I wondered why you weren't out with him, so I came over here." The small shadow that once stood leaning against the doorframe moved the several strides across the redhead's room and sat on the foot of his bed. Axel tried his best to hide the grin that threatened to spread across his lips, but he couldn't help it. Blonde's looked so damn gorgeous in the moonlight.
"I knocked on your door a few times, but you never answered. Turns out it was unlocked, so I let myself in." Roxas let out an airy laugh, and Axel's eyes trailed down his body until they locked onto the hands that were fiddling with something in his lap. He continued to gaze at the small object in wonder until the smaller teen broke him out of his reverie. "Why weren't you answering your phone?"
Axel's eyes snapped back up to the blonde's face, feeling slightly embarrassed for staring. "I was... distracted." Yes, that was honestly the best answer he could come up with. And now he felt quite stupid for putting it that way when Roxas laughed again. "Distracted with what? It doesn't seem very eventful in here."
"You really want to know?" Axel question, and Roxas nodded in response. The redhead sat up slightly to reach into his pocket, the blonde's eyebrows furrowing together curiously. He had to admit, the expression on Roxas' face was absolutely adorable. As he pulled out the slip of paper, he could see in the other's eyes that everything clicked together, and a silent 'ah' of understanding left Roxas' lips. "This." He handed the folded up poem to the blonde, sitting up so they could meet eye to eye, and Roxas unfolded it to examine every crease in the paper as if it was evidence. "Why did you write it?"
"I wanted you to know how I feel about you." Axel could feel his heart literally shatter in his chest as Roxas answered, and he had to refrain from letting a pained expression flash on his face as the blonde spoke every word. "Is there something wrong with that?"
"No, not at all." Axel replied quickly, and Roxas quirked an eyebrow at the strange behaviour. "...I was just curious."
A silence engulfed the two boys as they sat in the dark of the redhead's room, almost sharing a conversation of body language as they held eye contact for what seemed like a lifetime. On several occasions the blonde's gaze faltered, and the last time it occurred a small blush crept its way onto Roxas' cheeks. Axel was more confused than ever at that point. "What is it, Rox?"
"I.." Roxas looked like he desperately wanted to spit out what he had to say, but his vocal chords wouldn't cooperate and he was searching for the right words. Once he did, he met Axel's emerald gaze with a pristine sapphire one. "I told you I hadn't finished yet."
Roxas' face rivalled the fire truck tint of Axel's hair by that point as he copied the redhead's actions and pulled out his own slip of paper, holding it between his thumbs and forefingers as if it was something sacred. Axel's found himself gaping slightly at the sight. "You finished it?"
"Why wouldn't I? Just because you took the original copy didn't mean I'd lost the mental one as well." Roxas tapped one of his temples before he went back to holding it in his hands, staring at with just as much anxiety as Axel was. They were quiet for a few more moments before Axel found the courage to speak up. "...Will you read it to me?"
"If you want to." Roxas said, just like he had when Axel asked the first time, except now he didn't hesitate and nodded quickly. He wanted to know what was on that paper. As Roxas unfolded it, the redhead didn't watch the blonde's hands, but rather the smaller boy's expression. He looked extremely nervous.
Roxas smoothed the paper out several times before casting his eyes on the words and clearing his throat quietly. The first half of the poem Axel knew quite well, silently mouthing the words as Roxas vocalized them.
"I will always be beside you until the very end,
Wiping all your tears away, being your best friend.
I will smile when you smile,
Feel all the pain you do.
And if you cry a single tear,
I promise I will cry too."
Roxas looked up from the paper to meet Axel's eyes, realizing how tense the whole moment seemed. As he looked back down, he hesitated on every word, stuttering now and again as he read slowly, but surely. Every line was sincere.
"I'll always remember, I'll never forget.
How you took my breath away,
The first time we met."
Axel didn't stop his jaw from hitting the floor as he took a double-take to realize what the blonde in front of him was saying was completely real. He almost felt like he should have pinched him self to check if it wasn't a dream.
Just in case... y'know.
"No matter what happens, no matter what we do," A small smile spread across Roxas' lips, and as much as Axel wanted to return it, as soon as the blonde made eye contact with him, the only thing he could do was try to not melt into a puddle of glee.
"I need you to know that..." Roxas hesitated, but his gaze stayed firm as he read out the final words of the poem.
"...Axel, I love you."
So yes. That was cheesy and short. I was just inspired the other day to write it and this is where it got me. I was going to continue the story further but it just all came together so well for me I just had to end it here. :) So, yeah. Let me know what you think and I hope to write more in the months to come!
- DecorusEverto
