Making Home, a girl meets world fanfic

Time 1~Make It Stop

January 21st 2018, I missed my time of month last month, the month before that and this month. I gave into Riley's constant, nagging worry and walked to the nearest mom and pop shop with a twisting lump settled in my stomach. Quickly as possible, I snatched a pregnancy test and paid, keeping my eyes firmly pasted on a sign disencouraging drugs. I ran home and slammed the apartment door rattling the walls of the building, I slithered along the wall to the bathroom and eased the door shut hoping not to alarm my mother.

I peed on the pink stick and set a timer for five minutes. At first, I paced then I striped from my school clothes and took a shower using the timer to time my shower as well. I stepped out as the timer rang and silenced it with a tap. I dressed quickly and flipped the stick and let the lines register.

Two pink lines.

According to the box, I was pregnant. I let tear fill my eyes and breech the brim. I was too young for this. Too young for parenting and responsibility and bills and a life where I was the rock. I cried and cried and cried too young I thought over and over. At eighteen I was gonna have a baby.

Five months later, my baby was born premature by c-section after my mothers car was slammed by a drunk driver almost killing me and more importantly my baby. Six treacherous months later my baby went home for the first time. On March 8th, 2018 Holden Ryder was born to terrified teenage parents.

Time 2~ Holding My Breath

When I was in year two of college managing life as a small, young family Lucas proposed to me. He said that way we could be an official family and grow a bigger one, he promised to never leave me. I was so shocked that I held out my hand and let him slide on the ring. On this rainy and gloomy September twelfth I was walking to a drugstore Holden in one arm an umbrella in the other. I let him chose the test and he chose a bright pink box guaranteeing accurate results. Those results better be negative. Purchased test in my toddler's grasp we headed home to where Lucas was waiting for us. He was not surprisingly pacing and muttering how two kids out of wedlock was just plain stupidity in his part.

I put Holden down and took both of our rain gear off before scooping him up again and moving toward the bathroom in our apartment. I peed on the stick while my fiancee held our son and then retrieved my baby and placed the stick on the counter, face down. I held my son closer hoping this would all go away… I was not ready for another kid yet. I felt Lucas' arms around me and we stood there as a family for the next stressful five minutes. When the timer rang Lucas silenced it and looked at me. I look back and flip the pink stick.

Blue line.

The box tells me that means I'm not pregnant. I breathe a sigh of relief, and think thank god, I'm not ready for more.

I could not be more relieved. I release the squirming toddler from my arms and let him toddle around the bathroom as I lean in and kiss my blue eyed fiancee.

Time 3~Holding Myself Together

Three days ago I became Mrs. Maya Penelope Friar. There are four more days of my honeymoon but on day three of our marriage, I hold my head in my hands as I wait to flip yet another pregnancy test. Huckleberry stands by me as I flip the test that tells us our family is growing. I break down in fear… of losing my baby this time or delivering another premie. Sundance took me into his arms and kisses my head. He tells me everything will go smoothly and I should have no fears, but I do. Each day he tells me that everything will go smoothly and our baby will be on term.

And he was right. After nine stressful months that put me on bedrest, Harper Jade Friar was born on May eleventh, 2022. She came into the world by c-section with parents securely out of school and with jobs in place. Teacher and vet. Mother and father. Holden and Harper. Brother and sister.

Time 4~ Hoping for the Best

One measly year after I had delivered my first daughter and second child, I found myself pacing the small space between the customers around me in the drugstore line. I could not believe that only twelve months after a child I was standing with a pregnancy test in my basket. Even as a married woman I felt terrible buying pregnancy tests. I subwayed home and checked the time on my watch again making sure Holden and Harper would not be home when I arrived. One glanced assured me I still had two hours to take the test before Riley dropped the devil children off on her way home.

At home in our teal, black, and grey apartment I walked towards the bathroom stopping in the hallway to look at pictures. Ultrasounds from the first two babies. High school and middle school graduations. College graduation. Delivering the kids. Our wedding. Our engagement. Riley and Farkle engagement. Their wedding. Pictures of family gatherings. Family and friends with us and just in general. I hoped to be adding a picture soon of Holden and Harper in world's best siblings shirts posed next to their father. And more ultrasounds. And another delivery and hopefully a updated Friar family shot.

I finally went to the bathroom and peed on the provided pink stick, set a timer for three minutes and went to the study to grade papers. I went back to the bathroom when the timer ran to see the results and as I turned the knob I realised I was finally okay with any outcome.

Blue.

I cried. A lot. I was devastated I was not expanding the clan, as I wanted to so badly. I cried and cried and cried until finally I heard the door unlock and the click of my husbands cowboy boots enter the apartment. I trashed the test and wiped my eyes hoping to hide my devastation. I emerged into the hallway and went to peck my husband's cheek but her put his hands on my chest.

"You look upset. How did the test go?" he said, holding my eye contact.

"No baby," I whispered suddenly ashamed. I tried to hide my face with my hands.

"It's ok. It is for the best." He pulled me close, picking me up and twirling me around.

I knew he was right. Maybe the timing was not right. But I had a feeling soon enough I would swallow another watermelon.

Time 5~Give Me a Break

When I woke up, the sun was barely above the horizon, and I felt acid burning in the back of my throat. I scrambled to the master bathroom, trying not to wake my sleeping family, and emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I laid my head on the cool porcelain of the polished toilet before I heard Huckleberry come in and start to rub my back, yawning drowsily. Eventually, the sound of Holden and Harper stirring moved us from peaceful lovers to hectic parents. I made breakfast, packed lunches, called into work and made sure Riley would be picking the kids up. Lucas emerged from the kids shared bedroom with two dressed and groomed children, who attacked me with kisses and the settled in for a lazy breakfast of freezer waffles, strawberry applesauce and a strawberry banana smoothie. Lucas took them to school and daycare as I moved towards the study to grade since I would get no teaching done today.

As the day neared noon, I dressed and went to the nearby pharmacy. I purchased a pregnancy test and neared the stores restrooms. I ducked inside and choose a stall. I peed on the stick and pulled out my phone to whittle the fateful three minutes away. Eventually, I flipped the tiny, thing, yet obnoxiously pink stick over.

Two pink lines. Baby! The box declares.

I beamed. Silently cheering and prepping everything in my head. I was gonna be a mother of THREE. I couldn't wait. Actually yes, I could since we would now need a bigger apartment or a house. Preferably a house, but in New York you take what you can grab.

Eight and a half months later Piper Taylor Friar was born. I remember being elated seeing the looks of joy when Holden and Harper saw her for the first time. Lucas looked at us just smiling to himself. I felt so content then.

Time 6~Promise to Love You

I knew I was bearing another child when I woke up to burning bile in my esophagus. After thoroughly throwing up anything in my stomach I felt a stabbing pain in my abdomen. I should have yielded the warning signs then.

Taking another peed on pregnancy seemed like a waste of time. It would only tell me what I only knew, another baby. I called Sundance, ecstatically. And we told our children two days later. All the appointments were fine, nothing weird in the ultrasounds, blood work ... great. So when I woke up to blood six months later I was shocked.

We rushed to the hospital quickly as possible. But it was too late. Hunter Oliver Friar was gone. I don't understand where I went wrong. Everything was going fine. Why were there no warning signs? Why did I lose my baby? Did I deserve this? Was I a murderer now? Was this all my fault?

Everyone told me I had nothing to do with it I felt responsible. Lucas hugged me and told me it would be ok. I had to go on for my children, I know. But it seemed useless. What could a failure like me do for them. They had Lucas and Riley, why did they need me. My depression lasted weeks, until one day Ma and Shawn brought Holden, Harper and Piper to see me. They climbed into the bed and attacked me with hugs and kisses. When Lucas and I told them we lost the baby. We cried as a family for what seemed like ages. Then I realised they would never move on if I left them. And I couldn't do that to my family. So I swallowed my guilt, with an ibuprofen for my headache, and carried on with life like always.

But everyday, I pray, and I pray Hunter knows his sissies and brother, and his momma and his daddy love him so much, even if he isn't with us.

Time 7~Scared Thoughts

Three days in a row I have had terrible nausea and morning sickness. But I won't take another pregnancy test. No, I can't do it. I won't think about another baby ever again. Ever, they can't make me. Ever since I lost Hunter I swore off pregnancies. Forever.

For another week I suffered through morning sickness. One night after Riley had dropped off my kids and Lucas walked in the front door, I saw the CVS bag right away. I walked over and kissed his cheek sweeping the bag from his hand. I had made it to the kitchen and opened the garbage can when he said I had to take it.

"Why? Why, Lucas? For me to find out I'm pregnant and possibly lose another baby. No," I said screaming in a whisper. By now the kids had run down stairs and were attacking Lucas with affection. I shoved the bag into the nearest drawer. After the children were tucked away into bed Lucas resurfaced the bag. After cornering me into bathroom he undid the test and watched. Witing. For me to take the test. I sighed. He had made a point yesterday when he said if i put off a test I could harm this potential baby. So I gave in, and peed on a vibrant stick the size of a pencil.

Three minutes and a fearful staring contest later the test was flipped.

Two pink lines. Baby. Oh joy.

I started crying and I cried for days, I couldn't leave the bed. Work was out of the question for a few days. I was so scared. I could not lose this baby, it would ruin me. I would never be able to go on. I had so many scares in the past, all of which could reoccur. Unlikely? Yes. But in my head? So likely. Lucas held me every night and whispered assurances into my ear as I sobbed.

Finally, I came to accept this time would be different. So we told Holden, Harper and Piper. They were thrilled, and it rubbed off on me. I smiled for the first time in a while, and placed my hands on the small, small bump gracing us with its presence. Soon, everyone found out and the building excitement was suffocating, but I was ready. I could do it. I would have this baby. And it would go well. The fear eventually ebbed away and was replaced by sheer excitement. But my due date came and went. I started to worry. After four days of pacing and pacing I called Riley. She told me it was perfectly normal to deliver after your due date but I was wary. So I decided to drive to the birthing center and demand a C-section, since I was to have one anyway. As I sat at a red light I felt a pain in my abdomen. I waited it out and it went away. But a few blocks later another wave of pain hit. I grabbed the wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. I was having contractions! Instead of the pre delivery nerves I should have felt I was relieved. I called everyone and kept driving to the hospital, but the traffic was barely moving, and the contractions kept coming and the were getting closer as I pulled into the hospital and hastily valeted my car I rushed to the elevator. As the elevator slowly crept up I felt a tickling sensation between my legs before my yoga pants were soaked.

"Eep!" I screeched, my water brooke in an elevator. Finally, the elevator doors opened and the crowd split for me. Just as I walked past the threshold, another contraction hit, sending me stumbling forward. The baby wanted out and now. Thank goodness a nurse saw and hurried to get me into a room.

Minutes later I was under the anesthesia for my C-section and it seemed like seconds late I was being woken from my peaceful place. I rubbed my numb eyes, and yawned. But no one looked happy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Lucas asked, insecurity settled in his brow.

"Whaddya mean?" I slurred, still out of it.

"That we had twins?"

"What?!" I shouted. I was with it now. I scrambled to sit up. "Twins?"

"Yeah, twins. Two more girls." he said sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

"I didn't know," I said, the word twins settling in.

"Oh," he said, I guess he was looking for closure. "What will we name them?"

"The first one is still Noah Finely Brooke. And you pick the second one."

"I choose Peyton Bel. Noah Finely Brooke and Sadie Peyton Bel." he said with finality. And so I went home a mother of five.

Wow!wow!wow!

Time 8~ I'm Too Motherly

I was late this month. By the third day of pacing and waiting, I hurried to a drug store between dropping Holden, Harper, Piper, Noah, and Sadie off at various day cares and schools and going to my job at the local high school. I slid into the teacher's lounge unnoticed, and into the bathroom without gaining attention. I peed on the slender, pink, and oddly familiar stick. I dropped it into a baggie and into my purse, before popping on a pot of coffee and tracing my finger along the counter. I gathered my coffee and went to class. The test could wait.

By three fifteen I was a wreck with nerves. I couldn't do it again. Near brushes with death and actual death. I had four perfect girls and an amazingson and a handsome memory of a son. I was content with my large, Mathews style family, and yet I somehow felt like I would deliver again. I ran home so anxious to rip the test out of my purse. When I got home I yanked a Ziploc out of my purse and muttered a hasty 'thank goodness'. Lucas raised an eyebrow and five little heads turned.

"False alarm," I said.

"Oh," Holden said, knowing the deal. And then they all started laughing and I did to. This was ridiculous, way to many pregnancy test, more than anyone should ever have to take anyway.

l so hard my knuckles turned white. I was having contractions! Instead of the pre delivery nerves I should have felt I was relieved. I called everyone and kept driving to the hospital, but the traffic was barely moving, and the contractions kept coming and the were getting closer as I pulled into the hospital and hastily valeted my car I rushed to the elevator. As the elevator slowly crept up I felt a tickling sensation between my legs before my yoga pants were soaked.