If I Die Young, a sailor moon fanfic

She popped the buds into her ears, laid down in the bottom of the small boat, and closed her eyes. She did this often, mostly when she needed to think or just wanted to be alone. Her long blond hair laying around her, wrapping her in its silk strands as the gentle rocking of the boat smoothed her soul.

It was just everything happening around her, was happening so fast, so quick. Usagi didn't mind the rapid pace of Tokyo life, loved the joy of the city; but it seemed like lately, everything was just going too fast for her. She needed some air, some time to think. In less than a week, she would be graduating and then next fall, she'd be heading off to college. How did time go by so quick? To her, it felt like it was just the first day of school, her uniform neat and pressed as it should be for any first year. And now she was a third year? How did that happen?

The music in her ear changed, rock going to pop country. She had begun to listen to more western style music, than J-pop and so far, she couldn't find any flaws with it. She pretty much like anyone, as long as the music had a good beat. So far, her favorite song was If I Die Young by the Band Perry. Although, she couldn't really understand what they were saying, she did look up the lyrics on the web and found a Japanese version she could read, and found that she could relate to the words being sung. After all, she'd died how many times now? More times than she could count.

Mamoru would be looking for her soon, she knew this. Knew the girls already were. And in knowing all this, she'd purposely left her phone at home. She wanted to be alone, and the constant ringing of her small pink cell wouldn't give her that. They might get angry at her for leaving her phone at home, the small pink device sitting on her freshly made bed, but she figured they'd also get over it too.

"Usako!"

Her big, blue eyes flew open. No… He couldn't have found me so fast… She didn't move, just waited for her name to be called again and when it wasn't, she let loose the breath she'd been holding and closed her eyes again. It was just her mind playing tricks on her, had to be.

Besides, she was in a boat, in the middle of the lake. No way she'd be able to hear their voices so far out from shore. She liked laying in the bottom of the boat, the sound of the water rocking in her ears as she rolled with the waves. It was relaxing and comforting, to know that something so big, so wide could be so calming.

School wasn't her only problem, either. Being seventeen meant so much to her, more than her parents could ever image. She was seventeen when she died in her last life, when the Moon Kingdom had been taken over and everyone she'd ever loved in her short life had been murdered. In five short years, she'll be a queen and have a daughter. Sailor Moon will be gone, until Chibi Usa is old enough to take over; but Usagi was Sailor Moon.

Blinking back the tears that threaten to roll down her cheeks, she closed her eyes and willed herself not to think about the future. But what else was there to think about? The girls were so excited, making plans to do this and that. Of course, she was invited; but felt no excitement and decline each offer. She knew they were worried about her, but Usagi would just put on a fake smile and say she needed to study. Which wasn't a total lie.

She'd been Sailor Moon for three years. She'd been the one to evolve into the skilled warrior, her heart pure and loving. How could they take that away from her? She didn't want a kingdom, a whole nation looking to her for guidance. She didn't want it when she was the princess on the Moon either. She just wanted to…"Float away in a boat," she whispered to the blue sky above her. Almost as soon as the words left her mouth, the irony hit her and she giggled softly.

"Usako!"

Once more big blue eyes came flying open. Mamoru…. And what about him? He hadn't asked her to marry him, however the ring on her finger imply that they were engaged. That had gone over good with her father, the day she'd come home from the airport with a ring on her finger. But Daddy had gotten over it, thanks to Mama. He'd been gone for a whole year, before returning to her; but that was short lived.

"Mamo-chan had gone back to America, after only being home for two weeks," she whispered to the sky. The clouds rolled by, lazy but listening to her soft whispered words. Realizing that the song had stopped, she lifted the small pink iPod off of her chest and looked at it. Pushing a button, Usagi made the song play again; this time her soft voice humming the words.

"If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song. Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors."

Usagi knew her mother from her past life had never gotten to say good-bye to her. She'd committed suicide before she'd given it another thought, and Queen Serenity wasn't quick enough to stop her. But back then, there was no life without Endymion. She hadn't had the friends she had now, her senshi were guards and nothing more. They only protected her, never interacted with her.

"How lonely I must have been back then," Usagi said to the sky. "To go looking for friendship, love on Earth."

"Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no. Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby. The sharp knife of a short life. Well, I've had just enough time. If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song."

No, life ain't what you think it ought to be. In some ways, Usagi figured hers had turned out pretty good. She had the most loyal friends in the whole universe. Everyone was always so surprised to see that not only did the Crown Princess of the Silver Millennium fight along side her court, but she was best of friends with them as well. Things were different this time, she was free to be whatever she wanted to be. She had no royal rules to follow, no one telling her where to go, what to wear, that she couldn't speak unless spoken to. She was her own person, not just the princess of the Moon.

She was Tsukino Usagi, as well as Sailor Moon.

"That's right," she said. "I am Tsukino Usagi. I'm the protector of this star, as is Mamo-chan.

"The sharp knife of a short life. Well, I've had just enough time. And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom. I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger. I've never known the loving of a man. But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand.

There's a boy here in town…," Kimberly Perry sang in her ear.

With everything that she was worrying about, none of it really mattered. She wasn't going to die, not in this life. She was destined to rule with Mamoru beside her, loving her and supporting her as he'd always done in the last three years. If she hadn't become Sailor Moon, then she never would have met her friends or Mamoru. She wouldn't have become the strong, independent woman she was now. And she mostly would never have been able to save the world so many times if it hadn't been for the love and support she got from her friends and family. (Even if her family didn't know she was Sailor Moon).

Sitting up, the buds popped out of her ears and fell onto the bottom of the boat. She smiled as she stretched her arms above her, up towards the sky and grabbed the ore to began to paddle back to shore.

Looking towards the green shore, where the trees and grass waved in the summer breeze, Usagi could see Mamoru standing there, one hand on his forehead as he shielded his eyes from the blinding sunlight, waiting for her. Her smile grew in size, and she began to paddle faster.

"…says he'll love me forever. Who would have thought forever could be severed by, the sharp knife of a short life. Well, I've had just enough time.

So, put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls, What I never did is done. A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar. They're worth so much more after I'm a goner. And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing. Funny, when you're dead how people start listening."

Usagi reached the shore, and tied the boat to the deck before she carefully got up and out of the small boat. Mamoru had already reached the deck, and when she met up with him, threw her arms around his neck and kissed him; the words from the song blowing softly in the breeze from where the ear buds sat at the bottom of the small boat.

"If I die young, bury me in satin. Lay me down on a bed of roses. Sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away with the words of a love song. The ballad of a dove. Go with peace and love. Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket. Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them.

"The sharp knife of a short life. Well, I've had just enough time. So put on your best, boys. And I'll wear my pearls," Kimberly Perry's voice lift up as she finished the song, the music ending on a sweet note.

Usagi and Mamoru were still kissing on the deck. And while her arms were wrapped around her lover's neck and her lips upon his, a single thought went though her mind. I love my life.

Nothing belongs to me.

Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi