"…But that completely goes against almost every single ordinance made by the Goblin Bill of Rights…Or at least the ones that were agreed on before that riot, so of course I had to step in or no one else-"

"Hermione."

"-would have said anything! What they were talking about was completely ridiculous and barbaric! We're not going-"

"Hermione."

"-to get anything done if we lock them into Gringotts. If anything it will create more problems. I would have thought-"

"Hermione!"

"-that these idiots we're working for would have at least remembered one Goblin riot that was a direct result of-"

"Hermione!" Ron fought of a chuckle as his wife fell silent. She was trying not to look guilty, and as a result looked like she'd committed a murder of some sort. He sighed and leaned heavily on the doorframe. Hermione sat straighter in her chair and sniffed delicately.

"What, Ronald?"

And he almost laughed again. Even in the situation she was in now she still could act like the most proper brat known to mankind.

"Hermione, none of that explains why you punched Malcolm Bizzley in the face." He crossed his arms and awaited what had to be a fascinating explanation.

"He was talking about chaining house elves to boilers, Ron! He wouldn't even listen to me! It was like talking to a wall that yelled over you so that you both looked like fools!" Hermione sat back and also crossed her arms. "I may have gotten a bit carried away…"

"Really? Do you think so? Just a little bit?"

She scowled back at him. He smiled charmingly back at her. At least, in a way that she'd told him was charming. Her frown deepened.

"So, then, I suppose that's how I wound up here." She arched her eyebrow at him as if daring him to question her logic. He nodded in an understanding way.

"And you called for me." He said.

"Well, yes." She looked rather affronted, as if this happened every day and he was questioning an old habit. He nodded again.

"Yes, you called for me…um…Why?" He tried to seem as delicate as possible while also trying not to laugh. Hermione jerked as if she'd been hit. Her hands slammed down onto the sides of her metal chair and she gaped at him.

"Because….Because I'm in jail!" She hissed. Her eyes glanced furtively around as if someone was going to overhear. Ron thought that if someone were already down in the single holding cell within the Ministry, they'd probably already be aware of her captive status.

Ron waved his hand around at the bars separating them. "Yes, I can see that. What I can't see is why I have to be here." He told her. Her eyes popped out of her head.

"You…you can't…Ron, I'm in JAIL!" She raised her voice at him.

"Right."

"And… I mean…You have the keys!"

This time Ron couldn't help it and burst out with laughter. Hermione looked shocked and shoved to her feet.

"Ron it's not funny!" She banged on one of the bars for emphasis, which only made Ron laugh harder. He clutched a hand to his stomach and tried to breathe normally. When he looked back up and had himself mildly under control, Hermione was looking mutinous.

"As my husband, you should probably care that your wife has been arrested."

"As your husband, I should probably tell you that attacking your superior is a bad idea." He replied, walking to the opposite wall and picking up the clipboard and parchment that were hanging there. "And you haven't been arrested. You've been detained. There's a difference." He told her patiently, as if she were a small child.

"It's not funny." She repeated sullenly, sitting back down and crossing her arms resignedly, as if she really were a child. Ron shook his head, still smiling and flipped through the pages, scanning the details of her case. He frowned when he came to her sentence.

How did he manage that…? Ron wondered. Aggravated assault was a pretty hefty charge to be throwing around, especially when, according to the report, all she'd really done was slapped him a bit, not punched him.

"What does it say?" She demanded, rising to walk across her cell to him. Ron shook his head.

"They're trying to charge for aggravated assault. Robards signed off on it, but I can't believe he read the whole thing…" Ron tried to ignore Hermione's protest and cry of disbelief. He flipped to the last page and his frown deepened.

Hermione almost wailed when he turned on his heel and made to walk out of the room.

"Ron! Where are you going? What are you-"

Ron turned suddenly. "Are you okay in here for a while? Like an hour?" He asked. Hermione visibly paled at his voice. His auror voice. She swallowed.

"What is it?" She asked. "You're not just going to be able to let me out of here, are you?"

Ron gave her a look. "You think I'm going to leave you in there? My own wife, in a jail cell?" Hermione bit her lip, shaking her head. "Right. I'm not. Just…one hour, yes? Do you want some water or something?" He asked.

"You've got your auror face on." She told him. "Water is the farthest thing from my mind right now. I'm rather wondering if someone should bring me my pajamas and a toothbrush."

Ron sighed.

"Now you're just being difficult on purpose. Of course I look like an Auror, Aurors deal with detainees and their cases. And of course I can get you out of here in an hour." Ron scoffed and gave her a wry look. "Do you even know who I am?"

While his words gave Hermione a small measure of relief, that small measure had all but evaporated two hours later when Harry walked in with a glass of water and a package under his arm.

"Have you seen Ron?" She demanded, jumping up from the chair. Harry grinned at her.

"In the face, Hermione? Punching? Really, this isn't Hogwarts." He told her, gathering the keys from the wall and crossing to open her cell door. Hermione rushed at it but Harry held her back.

"You're not being released. I'm just here to give you this." He handed her the package and water. Hermione gaped at him.

"What do you mean 'not released?'" Her voice hit a shrill key that made Harry wince.

"I mean 'not released yet'." He said, easing back and closing the door. "Ron's still working out some kinks. He's hit a snag in…procedure."

"Procedure?" She wheezed out. Harry shrugged.

"I'm not allowed to tell you anything else. He should be done in a bit." He winked at her and left. Hermione was once again alone. She sipped the water and opened the brown paper package. Inside was a book she'd been reading on Goblin Rights, several sheets of parchment and a quill. She sighed and figured she might as well work while she had the time.

Ron walked in an hour later and she stood up so fast, she all but crashed into the bars of her cell.

"Well?" She asked.

"You're a free woman, Weasley." He told her, unlocking the cell. He staggered back when she launched herself at him.

" Thank goodness. It was horrible!" She said, Ron chuckled at her, but rubbed soothing circles into her back all the same.

"You were in there for three hours, Hermione."

"But there was something wrong! I knew there was. You left so quickly…" She started, but Ron stopped her.

"You want to know what happened?" He asked. He looped an arm around her shoulders and steered her out of the detainment room. "Bizzley exaggerated the charges so that you'd be kept her overnight and into tomorrow."

"But the hearing for the new goblin legislation is tomorrow!"

"Yes." Ron continued, leading them into the hall. "He provoked you on purpose so that you'd be held for questioning and maybe a psych eval and miss the hearing."

They walked in silence for a moment before turning a corner. Hermione stopped in her tracks.

Harry, along with two other aurors were escorting Bizzley down the corridor. It looked like they were headed straight to the detainment cell that Hermione'd just evacuated. As they passed each other, Bizzley scowled at her, but didn't speak.

Ron tugged her forward.

"But…but…why is he being arrested?" She asked, watching as her husband checked out her briefcase from security and slung it carelessly over his shoulder before leading her out the doors and into the atrium.

"Not arrested, Hermione. Detained, for now. Probably arrested later. I found some interesting documents in his desk relating directly to the new appointment of the head of the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. He's bribing people. Nasty business. Best to stay away altogether."

"In his…how did you search his desk?" Hermione asked as they entered the line for the fireplaces. She was beginning to grasp just how much she'd missed during her time in the cell. She'd never worked with Ron professionally before, but she was finding that he was an entirely different person than she was used to.

"Well, it was what you said about the house-elves. Chaining them to boilers, right? Well, the ministry is clearly never going to go for that, but there had to be a reason he brought that into a discussion of Goblin rights." Ron shook his head at the long line of wizards and witches ahead of them. "So I got a warrant to search his office. He's been bribing people behind your back to approve his proposal to treat House-elves and goblins as the same species. That way, he could have more backing to pass the legislation for required working hours…"

Ron trailed off. Hermione could connect the rest of the dots herself. She was a smart witch. He caught a glimpse of her outraged face as he pushed her into the fireplace and watched her spin up through the flames. He followed a moment later to find her kicking off her shoes and cursing.

"That completely undermines my new proposal for elvish equality!" She yelled. "That…that…complete…Arsehole!" She tore her robe off and spun to face Ron. "How did you know?"

He shrugged and took off his own robe, reaching up to unbutton the top of his shirt. Hermione's brow furrowed and she lifted her shoulder in a mocking exaggeration of his movement.

"I just took a guess." He shrugged again. "Had a feeling."

"How did you get a warrant to search his desk with just a feeling? There's no evidence…no…no proof…"

Ron took pity on her and reached out to pull her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his waist as he buried his nose in her hair.

"I can be very persuasive." He told her, nuzzling her neck. "Especially when something I really care about is at stake."

Hermione shivered as his teeth scraped gently against her skin.

"And if there's one thing I take very, very seriously...it's Goblin rights." He pulled back to brush his lips across hers.

"Goblin rights, you say?" she asked. They walked backwards as one to drift onto the sofa.

"Mmmhmm. Goblin rights. I'm very dedicated to the cause…"

For the rest of the night, Ron Weasley showed his wife just exactly how dedicated he was to…ahem…Goblin's rights.