Title: Halitosis... Remember?
Author: scolastik
Beta: vicodinaddict
Pairing: Huddy
Rating: PG-13
Genre : Humor/Romance
Spoilers: None. (I mean until Top Secret maybe xD)
Disclaimer: House MD and its character don't belong to me. And that's sad, sooo sad ....

Summary: Cuddy's dating and House can't leave her alone.
I guess you could say it's set in late Season 3 after the Tritter stuff.

N/A: I want to thank for vicodinaddict the bêta work and soraa for her thoughts and time she took to answer me.
There has been pessimism around the fandom lately and I haven't always beeen optimistic ... So here it is ... My love letter to the ship because I love them so much. It's some kind of old-fashioned Huddyness ... Don't get me wrong I love Season 5 for the most part ... But that's what came to my mind.

Feedback is more than welcomed ... I'm looking forward to them more than the chocolate cake I just cooked.
English is not my mother tongue ... I hope I didn't mess-up too much.
This was prompt by a line of Accidental Babies by Damien Rice and I mention Camembert, Snails and Frogs but this was written while listening to songs like The Bad Touch (Bloodhound Gang) and eating strawberry jam buns (just like cinnamon buns except you put strawberry jam instead of the cinnamon stuff).
Here ... you know everything!

Halitosis ... Remember?

"I bet he's making you brush your teeth."

Last joker before he exited the devil's office, House had said it sarcastically. He was sure she wouldn't even bother to ask him what she had in mind. He had been nagging her about her new boyfriend for at least half an hour. To be honest, he himself was beginning to get bored with the predictable jokes about Jared's unfortunate shortness. However as much as Cuddy had been relieved to see him turn around, finally going back to his patient, leaving her just enough time to finish scheduling next pediatric's meeting before getting ready for her date, she had been more than intrigued by his last retort.

"He doesn't have to. I'm a grown-up woman ... a grown-up and healthy woman" She added quickly."

"You know, that's not what I meant..."

Well-played she thought. He had been leaving and now he was turning back with an evil grin on his face. But, and she was hating her for it, she really wanted to know what he'd meant, and at the same time she was afraid she knew it well too much. He leaned toward her quietly whispering in her ear:

"What I meant was, does he know how much you like French Camenbert ?"

She automatically flushed. Being reminded of her most shameful dating experience could do that to her. Especially, when the other person involved in this memory was standing right besides her.

"House ..." She tried.

"All I'm saying is, if he only knows the Colgate-sterilized version of your mouth, he's not gonna be around very long. Am I wrong?"

She hated him for being right, but he was, Jared was nowhere near the man she needed him to be and she was just enjoying this, knowing the relationship was doomed anyway. That didn't mean she wanted House to be aware of that though.

"Because obviously an onion-flavored mouth is the best way to prove your long-lasting commitment to a relationship. If I was still looking for a explanation to your celibacy I've found it now."

She could have sworn he had flinched while listeningto her, but he snapped out of it in an instant and quickly answered.

"I swear I can recall a time you thought onion-flavored kiss was better than annoying smurf-kiss.

It's a pity your tastes are this bad now ..."

Saying that he had walked to the door and he finally exited the office leaving her with bittersweet memories.

It had begun on their first date. He was in Medschool she was still an Undergraduate, they had met at a party where she had drunk a few more drinks than she should have. She had given him her phone number and told him to call if he wanted to hang out ...

She would have forgotten about the whole thing if her roommate hadn't received a "strange call from a boy who says he really wants to spend another evening with your boobs". She had called back, of course, first calling him a jerk, then mellowed by his witty retorts she had found herself agreeing to go out with him. It was only because he had promised a French restaurant she had told herself and really not because he had a charming voice and as much as she can recall, even more charming eyes.

It could have been a nice night out, but seeing the so-called restaurant she resisted the urge to call him a jerk again.

"We're supposed to eat here ?" she said pointing the flashing lights of a shabby snack shop.

"Yeah, why not ?"

There hadn't been a bit of sarcasm in his voice so Lisa could only assume he was seriously thinking of eating here ...

"Well, let's see, first reason that comes to my mind: you told me we were eating in a French Restaurant, and ..."

"I told you French food, not French restaurant, and they happen to be the place in town with the best Camembert I've ever tasted."

He answered so quietly, she could swear he had no idea how much angry she was. After all if he thought she wasn't even worth a restaurant with a waiter and a decent table, she didn't really know why she was wasting her evening going out with him.

"Well in that case maybe I'll let you enjoy your "Camembert" alone. I don't see why they make a big deal out of this French things anyway. They eat frogs ."

She had no idea where the last part came from. She had just said it out of anger, as if her not appreciating French cooking habits could somehow communicate her resentment.

"Which is exactly why we're not in a French restaurant where they also propose disgusting snails. Listen ... I get it you're angry because you thought you would get a romantic venue and all. So ... Evening will end earlier than we thought. You'll hate my guts for two weeks and forget about me. Big deal ! We're both hungry, we're just next to a place where they happen to make decent food. Could we forget the offended act and go inside eat something before I drive you home?"

She had to admit, his argument made some sense and she followed him inside the shop which funnily enough happened to be called "The Loner's Diner". He ordered two sandwiches, two cokes, a diet one and a regular one, waited for the teenage boy working there to finish preparing the stuff and gave her what she was supposed to eat. Annoyed he hadn't even asked her what she wanted she asked him why he assumed she wanted diet coke. He answered her, after sighing heavily.

"Girls are either dieting or pretending they are. Both cases they take diet coke. If you don't want it, I can have it. I'm in the wrestling team I have to watch what I eat."

She knew it was a blatant lie but she let it slip not wanting to make things become even more tense they still have to eat a sandwich and to drive back to herself together. Maybe there was still someway to enjoy herself before the end of the evening ...

Surprisingly things got better, he was clever, saying things bluntly rather than beating around the bush, he had a nasty humor and to top it all his eyes were even more charming than what she had remembered. She found herself delaying the moment they would have to drive back to her place, ordering another sandwich, with French onions this time. She could have considered going out with him again if it hadn't been for the previous incident.

"Why didn't you take me to a normal restaurant?"

This wasn't mean to be rude, curiosity on the highest level.

"Already told you ... they serve snails in French Restaurants. Wouldn't want you eating your Crème brûlée while your neighbor ... Marcel would have been eating gastropods."

"Don't give me this! You've been honest all evening? Why lying now?"

"You've no way of knowing I've been honest before."

She gave him a blank look.

"All right ... Exam week. I was busy studying. Yeah it does happen to me too."

He gave her a smile.

"I forgot to call the restaurant. When I did they were full. I didn't want to cancel the date you would have thought I was sending mix-signals or something, and I really wouldn't have wanted you to think that. Besides I hate the formal dating thing. Why do you girls always associate the price of the meals with the quality of the evening? A date should be more about the exchange between two people and less about the setting and what's going on in their plates. It's either that or I'm a jerk" he finished.

She felt stupid, he had a point. She had assumed he took older girls to nice restaurants but since she was still an undergraduate he had chosen the cheapest thing.

"You were right anyway their sandwiches are good." She said trying to break the awkward silence.

"Yeah, well, we better get going, they close early here and I wouldn't them to throw us out. Not good for my ego."

They gathered their belongings and walked back to the car. The drive back to her place was quiet, neither of them wanting to initiate the discussion. They reached her dormitory, far too soon, and she was the one to talk.

"Wait!"

He turned to look at her and once again Lisa found herself madly attracted to his damn eyes. It hadn't been the greatest date ever, far from being it to be honest. But there was something about him, about the things he had said, there was something. And maybe because of that something, she decided to kiss him. Shyly first, but they soon shared a passionate kiss. She couldn't tell who broke it, but when she looked up she found out he was silently laughing.

"What? Is making out with me so ridiculous you can't wait I'm out of the car to laugh at the idea?"

"No it's not that ... it's just ... this might have been the smelliest kiss I've ever shared"

She considered making a scene, but she looked at him and found herself unable to stop her own laugh. She did though, several minutes later, stating quietly before opening the car's door.

"I hate you."

He looked at her still laughing.

"I'll call you?"

She smiled at him before heading to the dormitory's door.

It was getting late, much later than she had expected. House had, once again, succeeded in making her late at one of her date. She hurried up, barely taking time to go home have a shower, make up and dress-up. She was just ready when Jared showed up to pick her up, her hair still wet and one eye missing its eye-liner.

She smiled to herself when she saw he had chosen a Swiss restaurant for them to have diner, a charming place which had just opened ...

She thought of House when she ordered her cheese fondue. She knew well enough that the twitch she would see on Jared's face when they would kiss later on would be the beginning of the end.