Note: I'm influenced by british english, so the american, australian etc readers will find the spelling and/or words looking a little different here and there. Just so you're prepared. And it was quite some time since I read the X "ending", but hopefully I have been able to capture some of the elements in the "final confrontation"... Now please enjoy!
Shards Of A Forgotten Wish
Broken glass mirroring lost souls, buildings screaming their death as they crumbled brutally to the ground with dust twirling like the flames possessed by a demon – the dark beauty they held was impossible to describe. Almost like they did not belong in this world filled with flaws. But no matter how magical or unearthly their beauty was, they could not compare to the breath-taking image of the two "kamuis" - not according to Subaru.
The boys' image was perfect – so dramatic and forbidden it was choking you. The torn clothes, their positions, the dust dancing around them and occasionally playing with their garments. Everything just brutally sang utter, forbidden perfection... though Subaru could bet that Kamui did not agree with him, not the slightest – He looked too troubled and pained for that. To him, this must be hell's greatest nightmare...
"My wish is to bring Fuuma back, even if I hurt Fuuma himself. There is no other wish...!" Kamui almost screamed in frustration and desperation as he gazed up at his childhood friend towering over him. His gaze was somewhat unsteady because of the wounds and emotional battle, but he still radiated determination. Not even the blade almost pressed above his heart seemed to worry or affect him – all he saw was Fuuma...
It was almost comical, the way humans never seemed to see what was right in front of their eyes. They just seemed to always lose what meant the most to them without even realizing it... How could the small black haired youth not see the wish almost suffocating his heart?
Pulling his cloak back slowly, Subaru gave Kamui a sad and pittying look. "There is one, Kamui." He began as he stepped closer, the young one on the ground looking at him with wider eyes – almost as if he hadn't seen him at all until now... "You don't realize it, but... it's in there. If you don't realize it, nothing will change." He finished lowly, feeling bad for his beloved Kamui. Watching the boy struggle so hard was tearing at him, but this was the only way. If Kamui didn't realize it, he would never be free and nothing would change – especially not the male's own heart...
As the wind licked tauntingly at them all, the boy looked lost where he still lay on the ground. For some reason he just couldn't understand the meaning in Subaru's words, the sentences instead clawing mercilessly at his heart. He felt betrayed... and completely helpless... it seemed like he wouldn't be able to save anyone, the world most likely being consumed by the Harbringers, and Fuuma... Fuuma would never be himself again...
But he wanted him to come back! That was his only wish. If Fuuma granted wishes, why wouldn't he then grant Kamui his?
"That's why you can't beat me." The 'Dark Kamui' then said neutrally and Kamui found his gaze wander along the sword at his chest to lock with Fuuma's deep gems. ""If you don't realize your deepest, most pure and raw wish – You'll never beat me." He added before he pushed the sword effortlessly through Kamui's right shoulder, drawing a hoarse scream from the other's delicate throat. The sound was like a lullaby and Fuuma smiled darkly down at his 'other', feeling utterly superior and satisfied. He was on top and in the lead – in his right element. Now the only thing he wanted was for Kamui to realize what he tried to keep hidden and had locked away in his 'wishbox'...
Kneeling slowly, Fuuma leaned forward and almost gently so caressed the smaller one's cheek as the smile remained on his face. Had one not known better, one could have thought he had returned to normal as he sat there beside his smaller friend wounded on the ground...
At first he had tried to avoid it, but after a while Kamui found himself unable to fight back or resist and soon gave into the touch. The pain from having the sword piercing his body was too much to handle to let him fight anything else but the blazing throbbing assaulting him. But amist the burning pain and blazing pants, a warmth slowly flowed through him as well and soothed his battlewounded soul... The gentle touch that was so inviting... so similar to the ones he had received years before during hard times and thus devilishly sucked him in without escape no matter how much he struggled against it...
They were so hard to resist when caresses like these always had been given to him in comfort during hard times... They reminded him of his childhood with his best friends an his mother and all of the times Fuuma had been the one to care for him when something happened... But this time was different. Now there was no affection in the slow movements and he knew this Dark Fuuma didn't care for him at all. The male was only cruely toying with him before he would deal the finishing blow – as always. That was the truth, and a painful one...
Then, as if he had given up, Fuuma suddenly rose to his feet again and forcefully pulled out the sword from Kamui's own shoulder, drawing a hoarse groan from the smaller male. Smirking as he traced the bloodstained blade with his finger, Fuuma then repositioned the edge of the blade just above Kamui's heart with a sick smile.
This couldn't be the end! Kamui just couldn't allow his life to end here – he had to save Fuuma, bring him back! No matter what he would bring Fuuma back, it was his only wish.
Clentching his numb fingers around his sword tightly, Kamui closed his eyes in a way of trying to deny reality. To close out the harsh truth that he wouldn't be able to save his beloved friend or the earth he fought so hard to protect... He couldn't accept it. He had already decided to save the other no matter what, for Fuuma... There was nothing else he fought for, nothing else he desired...
Then, as if something had hit him, fragments of a memory flashed before his eyes, speaking of why humans lose sight of what's most important. It scolded him, slapped him for his ignorance to see his true wish – what was most important to him.
Snapping his eyes open in shocked realization, he was unable to hold back the words slipping from his lips as a tear trickled down his cheek. "I..." he began as he was met with the sight of the sword being brought down towards him quickly. But it didn't matter if he died like this, because now when he knew his true wish, death was better than finding his desire never coming true... He just wanted to say it before his life flickered and left the living. "I've realized... My true wish – More than wanting to save Fuuma, I want him to love me..." Kamui whispered helplessly as he lost his grip on his sword when all fighting spirit left him and he closed his eyes. All he wanted now was to rest, to escape what his heart desired that he knew would probably never come true...
But instead of darkness greeting him, a pain assaulted his right shoulder again and he snapped his eyes open while a scream left his supple lips.
"Finally you've accepted and seen your most deepest wish, Kamui..." Fuuma said with a dark smile as he gazed down at the shocked male under him. "I'm pleased to hear it..."
"So am I." Subaru whispered with a small smile, releaved and happy to hear Kamui finally setting his true and locked away feelings free. That he had finally accepted his love for Fuuma that Subaru had always seen swimming inside the youth's dark pools. Now when the wish was spoken, perhaps the faith of Kamui would change... Subaru hoped so. One of the reasons for him joining the Harbringers, apart from Seishirou, was that he hoped it could help change the future for his small friend... Now all he could do was stand there and wait, wishing for the best outcome...
"I've waited a long time for you to admit this specific wish, Kamui..." Fuuma continued as he lowered himself to the other's level with a smile still adorning those evil lips. Oh the look on Kamui's face was so amusing, the smaller one seemingly unable to understand the meaning behind his last sentence. Or was it that he was torn between allowing himself to hope for his Fuuma to return and accepting his wish or refusing to allow himself such hope and 'useless' feelings?
Crawling closer, Fuuma positioned himself completely above the panting body of the other without letting their bodies touch. Smirking down at the lost and hopeless face of his Twin Star, Fuuma slowly let another sentence he new would tear at the other leave his lips. "Now I just have one more thing to ask you." He says almost teasingly as he leans even closer, their breaths now mingling with each other because of their closeness. "How do you feel about the possibility that your Fuuma might never return? Do you wish for death or desire to wait, hoping for your Fuuma to one day return? There is no guarantee that your wish will be granted in the exact way you want it to since there really is two Fuuma..."
A hollow silence followed after that, the only thing breaking the silence being Kamui's exhausted pants and forced breathing that mingled almost sickingly sweet together with his friend's breath.
Brutally, Kamui knew almost immediately what he wanted, but could he allow himself to feel that way? Everyone had told him that he had to follow his own heart and his own wishes, but could he really do that? He wanted to, but since he didn't know the outcome, was chansing the right option?
When no reply came after a few minutes, Fuuma locked his gaze with his Seal's deep eyes with an unreadable smile caused by the emotions greeting him from the other's wonderful pools. The emotions were so strong, yet chaotic and uncertain Fuuma felt his insides laugh lightly at them. Kamui was such an interesting being who always seemed to sacrifice himself for the good of others, but was it possible to make him pick the 'better' road for himself this time? An interesting question indeed...
Changing his position, the Dark Fuuma placed himself on top of Kamui's hips while he let his face remain dangerously close to the other's lips. "Should I take your silence as a wish for release into the silent darkness of death, Kamui?" he asked almost sweetly as he grabbed a hold of the smaller one's black locks of hair and breathed in the sent of the other.
It was so heartbreaking when Fuuma was like that, acting so much like his childhood friend and love. Every small affectionate gesture he did made Kamui's heart bleed and scream for more, desperately craving to forever be the object for the other's love. But this wasn't his Fuuma, this was the dark demon possessing his body... the other 'Kamui'. This was someone who tried to kill him, yet why did he act so much like Fuuma at times and had spared his life so many times?
Because of the twisted personality, Kamui found himself doubt his view of the other. Was his Fuuma there and influenced the 'demon' controling him?...
"I..." Kamui began, feeling the taller male licking away a tear trickling down his cheek again.
Saving Fuuma was something he desperately craved for, but to be loved by the other was what his heart really wished wholeheartedly for. But death meant he would have neither of them... while living meant facing this twisted version of Fuuma.
Though did it really matter how much of the real Fuuma who was there as long as he was alive?...
To his own shock it didn't matter. As long as he could imagine Fuuma loved him, it was enough. It made him feel disgusted and hate himself but in truth, as long as there was a Fuuma around him – even this twisted one – he didn't want to die. The illusion and odd hate-love behaviour of the other was enough for his desperation for love from Fuuma...
"I... don't care what happens to me, as long as you love me..." Kamui admitted as more tears fell from his guilty eyes, the boy feeling angry with himself but knowing there was nothing he could do about his own feelings. This was what he wished for and he couldn't escape, no matter how madly he wanted to be able to... "I just want you to love me." He whispered again as he finally completely broke. "I don't care what happens to the world, as long as you're here to love me... even if your love is just my own illusions..." he sobbed as he covered his eyes with one arm, wanting to hide from the world, feeling utterly ashamed with himself.
At the confession, Fuuma was unable to restrain himself and he smirked widely before he grabbed a hold on Kamui and sat up, craddling the other close as he burried his face in the smaller one's neck. Taking in the other one's sent again, Fuuma dug in and bit down on the slender skin offered there, surprising the still crying youth.
"You have no idea how your words affect me." The Harbringer admits almost playfully as his lips starts to wander along the jaw, feeling and exploring every inch of the perfect skin.
At the ministrations, Kamui can't do anything but accept them, knowing it's what he wants. Even if it's from the Harbringer Fuuma, it's still a twisted love he still desperately craves for. Fuuma was all he wanted...
"You're irresistable." Fuuma breaths as he laps at the smaller one's lips, teasing the skin and leaving a burning sensation after every touch, drawing a small moan from Kamui. At the heavenly sound, Fuuma is unable to take any more and dives for the tempting lips, finally claiming them fully.
It was intoxicating, the feeling of finally having Kamui's lips on his own, but there was still this minor thing gawing at Fuuma's mind when Kamui wasn't too overly responsive to his actions... Even though he understood he wasn't the Fuuma Kamui fully wanted, he still seemed enough for the Seal. However the lack of want and the reluctant replies to his affection said something else and forced him to ask a final question he himself wanted - needed to know.
"You don't seem overjoyed, Kamui. Are you sure I'm enough for you? Your Fuuma might never return, so are you certain you can settle with me if you never get him back?" he asks, gazing down into the eyes of his other, seeming uncharacteristically desperate to know the answer. He didn't seem hurt or worried, but there still was this intense need to know...
Hearing the possible future from Fuuma himself actually sent Kamui doubting his feelings somewhat. Of course he longed for his Fuuma, the one he had always been around. But his desperation for Fuuma's love was still so intense this Fuuma might be enough... Kamui had seen some of his Fuuma in the actions of the one currently having the body... so did that mean this Fuuma was only enough as long as Kamui had hopes for seeing his Fuuma, or was he really ok with forever being around the one currently holding him...?
At the doubt arising in Kamui's eyes, Fuuma smiles darkly as he tastes the fresh blood on the smaller one's forhead. "I think I have to reveal to you my wish as well..." he whispers teasingly in the other's ear, feeling a shudder travel through the other's body. " My wish is almost like your Fuuma's..." he begins as his left hand travels over the other's lower back in want. "Like him, I wish for your love. Though while that's the only thing he wants, my wish has morphed into me wanting you to love me as much as 'your' Fuuma. I crave - madly want the affection you hold for the other Fuuma as well. I want you to accept me as a part of Fuuma and love me equally..." he explains and nibbles at Kamui's earlobe before he's unable to hold back and pushes Kamui down onto the ground.
Gazing with burning want at the smaller one, Fuuma presses their hips more closely together before he pulls the hem of the other's shirt up a little bit, revealing the tender skin under it. Leaning down, the Harbringer allows his tongue to tease the skin there, taste the wonderfulness that was Kamui. "I want you to crave me as much as 'him." Fuuma admits as his hands feels the sides of his object of want up and down, drawing a gasp from the slightly emotionally torn youth.
"I want you to give yourself completely to me in the same way as you would for 'your' Fuuma. Want you to accept that I really am a part of your Fuuma." He continues to explain with lust overflowing his voice.
At the last sentence, Kamui looks slightly confused and Fuuma stops in his ministrations and sits up, giving his love object a dark smirk. So Kamui really hadn't realized after all? Well, he had to explain it then, didn't he.
"I see you didn't know." The Harbringer says with a knowing smirk on his face as he brings his face closer to Kamui's again. "Even though I don't like to view myself as such, I really am a part of Fuuma. I am the darker side of him, weither I like it or not. Even though Fuuma's darker side isn't fully like me, I am him – a fragment of him. The choices of the Twin Star affects the one getting the 'evil' side, but in the end the personality is a stronger personification of the person..." Fuuma ends and twists a glass shard in Kamui's arm, smirking darkly. "I love you, but being the one I am, my love can not only be sunshine." He ends and licks at the blood he had made flow from the wound.
As Fuuma continues his twisted show of affection, Kamui feels his heart surrender. Even if this Fuuma wasn't the one he had longed for in the past, this was still Fuuma. Before him was still the male he had dreamt about wanting only him, loving only him. And wasn't that what this 'Darker' Fuuma was doing, even though it was in a brutal way? The world was a twisted place, so Fuuma's 'bad' side wasn't that uncommon or odd really. His affection and love was twisted and flawed like the world, but did that make them more untrue?...
The love was not the one he had first sought for, but with it being presented to him by what really was a part of his Fuuma, how could it not be enough? Anything Fuuma did was enough...
"I've always wanted to be with you and if this is the way, it's enough for me... If there is no more fighting awaiting me, my life will be placed in your hands..." Kamui whispers lowly in complete honesty before lips quickly covers his in a deep and bruising kiss, almost like they had hoped and waited for that answer...
Yes, this was a Fuuma and it was his Fuuma...
Feeling exhaustion and bloodloss taking their toll on him, Kamui responds to the kiss weakly as his eyes begins to flutter shut, despite his want and struggles to stay awake.
Smirking into the kiss, Fuuma breaks it and gathers Kamui in his arms before he stands up, ready to leave.
The others still present looks shocked and scared, but they make no move to fight Fuuma, fearing they would end up putting Kamui in danger as well if they did.
"The world has come to its end." Fuuma informs with a sick smile as he glances back at Subaru. "Kamui has joined the Seven Harbringers and together we'll watch the world which needs to start over crumble and die..." he ends and jumps out of sight quickly, leaving the remaining Seals confused and at a loss when they realized that now, they had really failed to protect the world...
As they jump through the air, Subaru glances at the now unconscious Kamui in Fuuma's arms. Most likely Kamui would undergo a slight change in personality now when under Fuuma's influence and care, but in the end he was able to be with the one he loved and that was the most important thing. According to Subaru, Kamui had won, no matter the faith of the world – it didn't matter when Fuuma was the only thing Kamui had left... And like this, Subaru was also able to stay beside and protect Kamui - one of the few people aside from Seishirou that had deeply affected and claimed his heart...
The world was a sick and twisted place, but for them – it was perfect...
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So, this is what I thought the end would look like if it followed my love for the pairing, a more fanfiction influenced way … and my love for angst...
Usually I don't like writing one-shots and I mostly keep away from unfinished endings etc. But I had to make an exception for this one... couldn't keep from writing it. Hope you liked it! If you did and I feel inspired enough personally, I'll probably write the multi chaptered story I have for the FuumaxKamui pairing in the Tsubasa RC universe. Then I'll also get to write my favourite – vampire characters!
I'm really curious to hear what you think about this 'end', so please drop me an opinion.
Love
D.B Rose