1
Memories
5th Year
"Are you sure about this?"
"Yeah," I replied, nodding my head. Severus hovered above me, our bodies barely touching. We had discussed this for a long while, both unsure as to whether we truly wanted this or not. I mean, this was better than doing it with someone else and getting hurt later on, wasn't it? And Sev and I would always be friends. Right?
Sev nodded, too, letting out a long, shaky breath. He was nervous, but then again, so was I. It was our first time, after all.
He raised his hand slowly, placing it on my waist, just above my hip. I swallowed at the contact, nerves and lack of comfort filling the air. The silence was a bit awkward, at least, on my part. Severus merely looked too shocked for words.
"Er," I said, uncomfortable, "Do you think we should... I dunno, kiss or something? Make it a bit less awkward?" I asked.
For a moment, Severus stared at me, clearly confused. It took a moment or two, but he finally caught on. "Oh...," he looked completely dumbfounded, "Um...sure? Whatever makes you comfortable."
He leaned forward, his face now mere inches from mine. He stayed like that, frozen, as if afraid to make the next move. Gathering up as much courage as I could muster, I closed the distance, pressing my lips against his gently.
Sev seemed to know what to do from there. His hand began to move up from my waist as he kissed me, stopping just before he met my breast. I had to admit, he was a good kisser. And he seemed to know what would startle me and what wouldn't. He took it slowly, easing his way towards the bottom of my shirt, reassuring me with his kisses that everything was going to be okay. He was gentle, caring.
I'm so glad I picked him as my first, I thought to myself as the night wore on...
The Next Day
"You - wait," Severus panted, staring up at Potter with an expression of purest loathing. "You - wait...."
"Wait for what?" Sirius said coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"
Severus let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but his wand was nowhere to be seen, as far as I was concerned. I began to stomp up from the lake, leaving Mary behind with a confused expression on her face. When she saw the Marauders, however, she bothered not to pursue me furthur.
"Wash out your mouth," Potter retorted coldly, "Scourgify!"
Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, chocking him--
I could take this no longer. "Leave him ALONE!" I screamed, immediately causing the infamous duo to look around. Potter's hand disappeared into his hair, a disgusting habit to her, especially when it came to him.
"All right, Evans?" Potter asked, his tone of voice suddenly deeper, more mature...at least, in his opinion.
"Leave him alone," I repeated, glaring at him with as much anger and hate as she could muster. "What's he done to you?" I demanded.
"Well," he replied, looking as if he were truly deliberating the point. Bloody git, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean...."
Several onlookers in the crowd laughed at this, all except for Lupin, who was aparently intent on his book. Good job, Remus, I congradulated him silently in my mind, I knew there was at least ONE Marauder worth liking.
I didn't dare take my gaze from Potter. "You think you're funny," I said venomously, "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."
"I will if you go out with me, Evans," Potter replied quickly, "Go on... Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."
I frowned at him, barely noting that Severus was beginning to edge towards his wand, the Impediment Jinx finally wearing off. "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," I growled.
"Bad luck, Prongs," Black said briskly, turning back towards Sev. "OY!"
But it was too late; Sev had his wand back, directing it straight at Potter. There was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of his face, spattering his robes with blood. I would have scolded Severus for this, if Potter hadn't deserved it so much. Potter whirled about, muttering a curse at him, and suddenly, Sev was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.
As the crowd cheered, three of the Marauders roaring with laughter, I had to work hard to keep a straight face. I hadn't noticed his underwear before now, and it was, indeed, a bit comical to really see them now. I screamed at Potter even louder to make up for it, "Let him down!"
"Certainly," Potter agreed, jerking his wand upward. Sev fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. He began to rise quickly to his feet, wand in hand, when Black shouted, "Petrificus Totalus!" and he keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.
Far more angry than I had ever been with the Marauders before, they had finally gone too far. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I shouted, drawing my wand. Potter and Black eyed it warily.
"Ah Evans, don't make me hex you," Potter said earnestly.
"Take the curse off him, then!"
Potter sighed deeply, clearly disappointed, and turned to Sev, muttering the countercurse.
"There you go," he said, as Severus struggled to his feet again, "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"
I stared at Sev in amazement, blinking. Had he really just said that? That awful, horrid word, on me? As my heart nearly ripped into two, taking my breath away, I glared at him cooly, "Fine," I replied, my voice as sharp and cold as my gaze, "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus."
"Apologize to Evans!" Potter roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.
"I don't want you to make him apologize," I yelled, rounding on Potter, "You're as bad as he is..."
"What?" He yelped, "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"
"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"
And with that, I turned on my heel, walking away from both an idiotic git, and the slimeball she'd amazingly claimed to be her friend for the past seven years.
"Evans!" Potter shouted after me, "Hey, EVANS!"
I didn't even bother to look back....
End of 6th Year
I sighed in relief as I stepped out of the gateway to King's Cross Station. I was excited. Not only had I managed to keep myself from acknowledging both Snape and Potter, but today I got to go home, got to see my parents again. I was so happy to finally be away from it all, if only for a little while. Hogwarts was my home away from home, and I would consider it my only home if it weren't for my parents. If it were just Tuney and myself, I would be horrified of the summer.
If I was lucky, and had Mum and Dad's permission, I'd be able to visit with Mary over the summer, in Paris. I wanted to go so badly, and, even though I would miss my parents more than anything else, she needed to see her best friend. It was already torture enough that she had to be without her only tie to the Wizarding World for four weeks.
I scanned the crowd hungrily, hunting, searching....
There, standing a mere twenty feet from the portal, stood Petunia, next to her plump boulder of a fiance, Vernon Dursley. I tried to hide my look of distaste as I walked over to the hideously happy couple. I didn't bother hugging her; I'd given up on that after third year. My sister claimed she didn't want to be touched, much less embraced by a freak.
"Hello, Petunia," I greeted formally, "Vernon," I nodded to the Pillsbury-doe-boy curtly, before turning back to my sister. "Where's Mum and Dad?" I asked.
Petunia's face, much to my surprise, crumpled dramatically, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but found that she couldn't. Instead, Vernon, the fat oaf, decided to reply curtly, "Car crash. Daniel died on impact; they pulled the plug on Rose yesterday."
He said it nonchalantely, as if it didn't matter. I turned to stare at Petunia, "You're joking," I said immediately, refusing to believe what Santa had just told her. "Tuney, don't mess with me like that. They're not...." But as I stared into her eyes, I saw the truth. The world started shaking around me, and it took a moment to realize that it was me. Sobbing. I walked forward, towards Tuney, to embrace her, only to have her push me away. "No!" She nearly yelled, causing heads to turn. "It's your fault they're gone! Don't come near me," She screeched as I came forward again, "Freak! I want you out of the house, do you hear me? Gone!"
And with that, she spit at my shoes, shaking with fury and grief. I stared at her, wide-eyed, "Tuney don't-don't do this," I stuttered.
"It's already done!" She hissed, clinging to her fiance's arm as if it were a life-vest. Without another word, she turned, dragging Vernon with her out of the station. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling nothing, seeing nothing. I was alone, alone and with nothing. No where to go.
"Evans?"
I lifted my gaze instinctively at the name, only to come face to face with none other than Potter. Turning away from him quickly, she wiped her eyes, not wanting him to see her tears. She refused to show any weakness, especially around him.
"Lily," His hand landed on her shoulder, pushing at it gently, trying to make me turn around. Gathering up as much composure as she possibly could, she turned to glare at Potter.
"What do you want?" I demanded, skipping the introductions.
"Are-are you alright?" He asked, trying to look her in the eye. She easily avoided his gaze. Over his shoulder, she could faintly see three other figures, openly staring at the scene taking place.
I took a deep breath before answering. "Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you look like your about to pass out," he replied, a hint of a smirk on his face.
I scowled at him, "It's none of your business, Potter, so if you don't mind-"
"You are my business," he interrupted, "I hate seeing you sad, Lily. What's wrong?"
"Since when am I your business?!" I shouted, glaring at him, ignoring the last comment, "You don't own me, you have no right to butt into my life!" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mary standing beside her mother and father. Good. Maybe they could help me.
"I-" Potter stopped. She hid her smirk of satisfaction. Of course he would be stumped there.
"I've got to go, Potter, I've just spotted someone of more importance than you." I said, "Then again," I frowned, "Everyone is of more importance than you, aren't they?"
Quickly and successfully making my escape, I ran straight to Mary, hugging her as hard as I possibly could, tears beginning to stream down my face. "They're gone, Mary," I sobbed into her shoulder, "They're gone...."
I sighed, stepping onto Platform 9 3/4 with Mary. Her parents had been such loving people, and they had been kind enough to welcome me into their home. They had treated me as if I was their own child, including the disiplining part, which surprised me, to say the least. What had surprised me more, the very thing that finally broke through my state of numbness was a letter from Professor Dumbledore, informing me that I was to be this year's Head Girl. I had felt a small bit of emotion. Happiness? Yes, that had been the one. Though it had only been celebrated for a little while. Nothing could break through her emotion barrier for long unless it was anger or sadness.
"You ready, Lil?" Mary asked, a big smile on her face. I looked at her for a moment, nodded, then stepped onto the train.
This was sure to be a lovely year. Just perfect.