It can't be that bad, she figures. She'd already felt how Enraged went. Just a seizing of one's mind, an unexplainable anger, a desire to wound, to hurt, to break. She'd been Confused - mistaking Yukiko for a Shadow. Thank god Amaterasu just absorbed the Agi spells.
So she figures Fear would be the same. Just this nausatingly terrifying feeling washing over you, maybe causing you to run, maybe causing you to stand there. Either way, it would be over soon enough, and you'd feel silly for being scared of nothing.
Oh, how wrong she was.
Souji was first priority. She knew that, enforced it. It was only thanks to Souji that they were doing what they were doing. That they were able to accept themselves for who they were.
So, when Souji gets hit with Poison roughly the same time that god freaking damned fish decided to target her, she understands that Yukiko would be busy for a bit.
But it was when everything - the strobing lights, that freaky music, the Shadows - faded into white and silence that she begins to feel that something was terribly, terribly wrong.
White walls, white floors, no real kind of decorations or anything.... where was she? The question is soon pushed out as the smell of antiseptics and soap completely overwhelm her, nearly causing her to lose her lunch right then and there.
She knows that smell, and feels everything begin locking up as she jerks her head around. Faceless nurses and doctors, all kinds of medical equipment on the desks, the sounds of screaming and agony - her sister's pain, her father's suffering.
She tries to throw up. Oh god, how she wants to throw up and scream. But she can't. Her throat is paralyzed, offering no sound. Her body is paralyzed, giving her no way to get out. She wants to go, to leave, to die, anything to get out of this place!
She suddenly feels a comforting, warming presence spread across her, the hospital disappearing before her eyes to be replaced by the wall of the strip club. But it wasn't right. It wasn't the wall. It was the floor. She even tastes the carpet.
White noise buzzes in her ears, eventually melding into individual voices. Souji, yelling for Yosuke to cover Yukiko. Yukiko, asking if she was all right. And Kanji screaming profanities as he breaks the riot shield on the Shadow's head.
She takes a deep, heavy breath, resisting the urge to gag right there as she gets to her feet.
Out, into the still day. Souji mentions she's pale, begins to ask if she's okay, then decides that the answer is no when she begins vomiting uncontrollably into the plants. Chie, ever quick, pulls her hair back, and she knows that Souji sees her like no one has. Sees into her somehow. Sobbing. Sick. Afraid. In pain. She knows he's seeing right through her, knows he knows. She knows he knows she doesn't want anyone to see her like he's seeing her.
Kanji's brings her a bottle of water to wash out the taste. She thanks him, eyes dry and face blank. Souji mentions someone should walk her home. Kanji volenteers. She gives an idle nod and thanks him.
She resists the urge to ask everyone to come. Resists the urge to beg them to stay, to keep her from going back into that place. Instead, she simply closes the door.
Later on, it changes. She doesn't go to the hospital anymore. Instead, she's back in school. But no one looks at her. No one notices her. She finds Souji and everyone, and calls out to them. But they just stare, then turn their backs. She's alone again. Everyone's gone. She's back to that crushing loneliness.
She doesn't say anything when she feels Yosuke scream into her ears. Still is quiet when they get out.
It's only when she gets home now that she cries and throws up. She locks the door, though she can hear Teddie yelling worriedly at her. She locks the door and cries and vomits, then comes out and assures Teddie that she's okay.
Even though she feels like she wants to die.