Summary: Eric has lost the love of his life.

In the morgue

I never imagined seeing you on a autopsy table. A thing like that just never existed. It couldn't happen.

Alex's has just finished the autopsy, I don't know how she did it, but somehow she managed to cut you open.

And now you're lying here, on a cold table. No heartbeats can be heard from you, no breathing. Your eyes will never open again.

I remember watching you sleep this morning, you were so sweet and I saw you chest rise with every breath you took. I listened to your heartbeat. You were hard to wake up, and I must have jumped up and down the bed fifty times before you even opened your eyes. You smiled, I always loved you smile.

I try to listen to your heartbeat, there is none. I want to scream, but I can't.

Your skin is cold, like every other dead person we've seen at work, but this time it's different.

You're not dead right?

Please open your eyes and tell me this is all a bad dream!

But your eyes remain closed.

You shouldn't even have been at that bank today, it was my call, but then my dad called and told me that my mother was in the hospital. You told me to go see my mom, and I did. I regret that so much, I should have been shot, not you.

Why you? Why not me, or maybe even Ryan? No, that's awful to think about, but I can't help it.

I want you back!

I guess heaven missed its angel. ´Cause that's was you were, an angel sent to protect mankind, and you did. Everyman man you've ever met, you touched in a way no one else can, and you've taught me so much in life. No I have to go home to an empty bed, and I have to wake up without you by my side.

Why? Because some jerk felt he had to shoot you.

I try to listen again, still no heartbeat.

-I-

The Funeral

Calleigh squeezes my hand, tears roll down her cheeks. Alex is also crying. Everybody is crying.

They're lowering your casket down. Its going down in the ground. I will never be able to hold you and again.

All I have left now is pictures.

Pictures of you and me. Pictures of happy moments.

Frank is standing on the other side of the grave. I want to hit him, he could have taken the bullet for you! He was there, why didn't he take the bullet for you?

If you were here you'd tell me to knock it off, and it's not Franks fault. I know that.

It's my fault. It should have been me! Me! Me! Me!

I'm going to destroy my cross tonight, to show God that I want you back!

Everybody starts to leave now. Very soon you will be buried under tons of dirt. Alone in the dark.

You're going to be sleeping alone in the casket, instead of sleeping next to me!

It's not fair, it's not right. I believe I'm still dreaming, and one day I'll wake up and I'll see you.

One day we'll meet again.

-I-

Two weeks later

I still haven't cleaned the apartment. I want to be able to remember you in everything I see, so I will never take away any of your things.

Cal, Alex, Nat and Ryan are telling me all the time that I can call them if I want something. But I want what they can't give me. You.

For every day that passes I miss you even more, and every day I walk into your office, just to check if you're still there.

One of these days you might be sitting in you chair, doing paperwork, completely forgetting time, as usual.

I'll walk in and we'd go home together. Like we used to do.

I never got the chance to tell you how much I loved you before you died.

One moment you were giving a huge smile and the next you were laying on a stretcher, dead.

There is a lot of flowers ate you gravestone, and pictures. One is on you and Cal, and then there is one on you and me, kissing.

We didn't even get a year together, only nine months.

Nine months, one week and three days. That's all we got.

I will never forget you, and no one will ever be able to melt my heart like you did.

I miss falling asleep to the sound of you voice, as you read something written by Stephen King.

I miss all the prank you used to pull on Frank.

I miss your whistling as you drove the car.

I miss your snarling. I miss your laughter. I miss you smile.

I miss you so much it hurts. It hurts every time I see a picture of you, every time I hear your favorite song.

It hurts, hurts more than any bullet.

And I still can't understand why, why it had to be you. Out of all people, why you?

I don't think I'll ever understand, I'll never forgive, and it'll never stop hurting.

It hurts every time I see your gravestone.

I miss you so much it hurts, Horatio.

THE END

(update from 2011- some spell- checking and other things)

A very big thank you to Queen Sunstar, and to those who review!