Name: In the Night
Summary: She goes to sleep at night, knowing very well that the next day she might be dead. Post-Destiny, Cagalli-centric.
Rating: T
Features: Cagalli
Genre: Angst, tiny click of Romance.
Notes: Hah. I know some people are thinking 'How does this affect Cagalli?', but you'll see. -sigh- I love Cagalli so much, and looking at her makes me wonder how much she's under and goes through. /
She doesn't sleep much. She doesn't have much time, anyways, she's too busy trying to protect those she cared about. Namely ORB. And her family, friends, and the others that she didn't know much about, but needed protection anyway. But it was hard - she had been forced to grow up too soon. Her innocence and laughter had been forcibly stripped away from her, and she had been thrust into a world of politics, lies, and betrayl.
And she hated it. She knew that others hated her too, because of who she was and her position. Not many, but they were still the small group of people.
She'd been manipulated so easily by the council, and to think that she was the Head. She knew very well that they secretly hated her, and only acted polite to her because they knew that her death would throw ORB into an uproar. And they couldn't risk that - unless they managed to make her death look like the blame of ZAFT. Then they could start another war, another war to wipe out the Coordinators. And she couldn't have that.
She'd known very well, that last month, someone had tried to shoot her. Thank god for Kira, who was lucky enough to visit her that day, managed to throw her off, therefore getting shot in the sholder. But he'd brushed it off, saying he had to protect his younger sister. She pummeled him for that. But she knew that wasn't ZAFT. She just knew it.
She hadn't lost her ability to laugh or smile. She hadn't lost the fire that burned her insides, the fire that made her the Lioness of ORB. They'd simply been misplaced, carelessly thrown somewhere while she searched for the truth of who she was - and what her duty was.
There was him. The love of her life. The one who had left her to re-inlist with ZAFT, the same one who had come back to her apologizing to her and spouting about how he made mistakes and still loved her. Of course she took him back, she knew without him, she'd fall apart. And she'd already fallen apart so many times, only to have the pieces picked up after they'd been chipped. Shes already lost part of herself that way. And after falling numerous times, she had lost him.
Then there was ORB. Her father's dream. Everything her father was, everything her father worked for, his dreams, his visions, his hopes was all reflected in ORB. It was a reassuring prescence to her, letting her know that she was their leader, and she helped her people, that they needed her. Once a day, she stared out her window at the civilians walking by, ignorant of war and loss, simply happy with their lives.
She loved them and hated them.
She loved in the aspect, because they were her people. She knew they loved her, and needed her, and in return, she loved them back. They were hers to protect, hers to take care of.
And yet she hated them. They could laugh, and smile, living in their imaginary, naive, dream of human peace and flowers of sunflowers. The innocent lie that they'd made up, to shield themselves from the pain and cruelness of humanity. She lived in that dream once, until it was brutally ripped apart.
And the truth was, no matter how superficial the dream, she still missed it.
o.o I am insane for righting this. really old piece I found. :P