I don't own these characters, they just rock my world. All hail Joss!
"What are ya'll arguin' about?" Kaylee asked when she noticed Jayne and River making a scene in the cargo bay. Jayne sat on the weight bench; River was perched on a crate near him.
"Jayne seems to think he is superior to me," River stated, while narrowing her eyes at him.
"Now I didn't say that exactly," Jayne defended. "All I'm sayin' is just 'cause you got a ruttin' huge, slightly damaged brain, don't mean you good at everythin'."
"Besides social interactions, which are getting better," River explained. "Where do you excel that I don't?"
"Well, I sure as hell got more street knowin' that you do and sexin', we all know I got more practice with that." Jayne waggled his eyebrows and smiled smugly.
"What causes you to make such an assumption?" River inquired.
"You got snatched on Jiangyin, then, ya almost got burned at the stake, then I had to hang outta the ship armed, so's we could rescue ya. Wouldn't say you got a whole lotta common sense."
"No," River conceded. "I'll agree that my practical knowledge of such things is less than yours, I meant the lack of sexual experience."
"Funny," Jayne chuckled "but, unless you got some action 'fore you went off to that uh, place," Jayne paused, making sure she didn't react badly to the mention of the Alliance Academy that had tortured her. "When have you had time to get laid?"
"Three months ago, when we were on Shadow, visiting Captain's mother," River explained.
Jayne looked confused a minute. "All you did was giggle with that Rachael girl, I remember 'cause ya'll bugged the go se outta me."
"Rachael and I had fun together." River's eyes glazed a moment then she looked at him with parted lips.
Jayne's jaw went slack as he watched River's face heat and her eyes darken. His breathing hitched and he swallowed. "You mean? Uh, nah, oh, I'll, uh, um…"
"You'll be in your bunk," River supplied, smiling impishly.
"Yeah," he said, stumbling off the weight bench and up the stairs.
"River," Kaylee scolded. "I was with you the whole time we were on that planet, remember? Simon insulted the engine again, and I got all mad, so I tagged along with you and Rachael."
"Yes," River said, straightening her stance and smiling sweetly at Kaylee. "I remember."
"You're messin' with him." Kaylee shook her head disapprovingly. "That ain't nice."
"Him saying that he's more competent than me is not nice," River reminded her, taking a few deep breathes. "Excuse me. I need to take a few moments to center myself."
"Why for?"
"All pranks have their consequences." River closed her eyes. "I'm already feeling them, so I must control my mind so that I can shut out the consequences of my actions, otherwise my mind will be a very dirty place."
"Still think it was worth it?" Kaylee asked. "Playin' with him like that?"
River pulled air into her nose and exhaled out her mouth. "Jayne is especially worth it."