Komaeda sighed, knowing he shouldn't open the letter, but some unknown force moved his fingers without his permission, and looked inside the envelope. Despite not wanting to, he never tried to stop himself as he lifted the single note inside.

Dear Komaeda,

I miss you.

Komaeda lowered the letter and closed his eyes. They hurt. Those words hurt. They stung like a hive of hornets. But again, he found himself picking up the letter again. Why did he put himself through this?

I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry.

"Hinata-kun…"

I never want to fight again. I never want to see you hurt again. Please, please come home. I feel like I drove you out… and I probably did, too. I never want that to happen again… I really don't. I want you to come back. I want to see you again. It's all I could ever want, honestly.

Not much has changed here. No… nothing has changed at all. That's what drives me mad, it's like nothing happened, at all. But I know… everything happened. You're not here, and that's all. But that… that makes all the difference in the world. We both know I'm terrible at writing this kind of stuff, but… I really, really needed to say it.

I don't want anything from you, Komaeda. You don't need to do anything, I just… want to see you. Please. You don't need to say anything, you don't have to forgive me. All I want is to see your face again. One more time…

I don't deserve to see you again, I know that. I don't deserve you to come back at all. I want to see you, to be near you, for you just to be… there. With me. That's a lot to ask, and I don't deserve it. It's funny, really, you always called yourself human trash all the time, didn't you… well, now we know who the real human trash is, don't we. Heh...

"Is that… a tear stain on the paper? No… no… he was probably just… drinking water when writing this… yeah…" Then, a new tear stain fell onto the paper, right next to the one that was already there. Komaeda did not rub his eyes. He did not try to stop the tears from falling. So, they fell.

Komaeda, you deserve so much more than me, you know? Someone who can reassure you that you aren't garbage, who you'll actually believe. Someone you can rely on. Someone who won't ever yell at you… so, not me. I've only hurt you more that I've helped you, and you know it. I know I'm selfish for even thinking that I could see you again. I want you to have a happier life, with someone else, anyone else. I tried, and failed. Terribly, I know. Trust me... I really know. But if one day… I can see you, I can feel your presence, listen to your breathe, you laugh, see that perfect, beautiful smile… maybe one day you could even forgive me- eh, selfish thoughts again.

This is really dumb, you know. You don't have to read this. Throw it out, it might even be better for you. Again, I can't really write these sort of things well, but… all I wanted to say, overall is just… I'm sorry. I am so, so, sorry.

The penmanship seemed to get more and more coarse as the letter went down. Komaeda couldn't take his eyes off every word. He couldn't take the aching pain out of his heart.

He didn't know if he could forgive him. He didn't know if he deserved the ability to forgive him.

I didn't know I could miss someone so much. I just want you here. I just want you happy. I'm so sorry.

His head and heart were swamped with confusion and chaos, unknown emotions going this way and that, and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't think. He couldn't piece anything together. But amidst the swarm of uncertainty, there was one thing, and only one thing he did truly did know.

He wanted to see Hinata again.

I love you, Komaeda.

-Hinata Hajime