Chapter One
And the Joint
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"Hi, my name's right here-"

Steve watched, taken back by how boldly the pretty brown haired waitress with killer plump ruby-red lips approached him, and pointed to her nametag with her pen. He was distracted and thoroughly confused by how fast she was talking, trying his best not to gaze at the curve of her large breast that hid temptingly under her nametag.

He, like any gentleman would, managed to comprehend that her name read Max Black on her nametag before lifting his gaze back up to meet her eyes.

"-I'll get you a glass of water and let you look through the menu. Really, take your time, 'cus I'm gifting myself to a ten minute break." Max spoke fast and with confidence, her tone deadpanned with a hint of mischief.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows, before handing her back the menu she had thrusted towards him. "I'd like a cheese burger."

Max popped her white peppermint gum in a bubble, with her hand on her hip as she frowned at him, before pulling out her notepad to pretend she was writing down his order.

"Cheeseburger, got it." She drew a picture of a dick with a hairy set of balls.

Steve folded his hands against the table, looking downright exhausted. Before Max could depart, he made sure to tell her in a warm, but stern tone, "And I'd like some hot coffee if you could, ma'am."

Max frowned as she took the menu from his hands, "Sure thing," She forced a smile, as if mockingly, and turned around with a big huff as she marched over to Caroline, scrunching her face together as she silently mimicked the young man's 'ma'am'.

Caroline, her co-worker slash business partner slash roommate, grabbed a hold of Max's shoulders and quickly steered her to the corner behind the register.

"Is that Captain America?!"

"Captain who?" Max replied indifferently, writing the word 'cheeseburger' underneath her lewd picture of a mans genitals and then flipped the notepad over to show her masterpiece to Caroline.

Caroline looked absolutely scandalized by the picture, "Oh my God- do you not know who Captain America is?"

"Well, my mom couldn't afford a T.V growing up. Or a roof. Or an abortion." Max shrugged off Caroline's excitement.

"Or a history book!" Caroline was nearly shouting as Max cashed his order in. "Max- erase that dick from his order!"

Steve rested his face in his palm, groaning while he burned with embarrassment as he could hear the two waitress's whispers clearly from across the diner.

"Anyways," Max said as she filled a mug up with hot coffee and dumped a creamer into it. "I'm gonna take my ten and go finish that joint with Earl. Hopefully he hasn't started without me."

"Order up." Oleg placed a beautiful looking tomato lettuce and onion burger on the counter for Max to take. "Made extra special, for Captain America."

"God damnit-!" She cursed as she took a hold of his plate angrily. Even their chef Oleg knew who this Captain America dude was, and he wasn't even from America!

"Oh, and Earl's already in the freezer with the joint. I just came out from there," Oleg leaned against the window sill that connected the kitchen and diner. "Shit's good."

Max was walking the delicious looking cheeseburger over to the so-called-Captain-dude. She placed his order along with a hot cup of coffee on his table. "Here you go, man." Max had less energy than before, crestfallen that Earl had finished his joint without her.

"You better hurry Max, if you go in there now I'm sure you can get contact high," Earl was grinning lazily as he walked back over to his chair next to the entrance so he can finish cashing in checks and greeting customers.

Max grinned and pulled a rag out of her apron, wiping her hands off as she sent a cheeky grin to Steve, completely oblivious of the fact he was aware of every conversation word that was coming out of their mouths.

"I'll be going on my ten minute break now," She told him with a grin, hand propped on her hip. "I got a meat cooler thats callin' my name."
Steve finished his meal soon after that. Just one burger was fine, since he was still mourning the loss (er- return?) of his friend and couldn't stomach much more to eat. Really he had just visited the diner in Brooklyn for a small reminiscent of his past, and was surprised and a bit overwhelmed that the diner he frequented in his past life, was still here standing strong when he woke up seventy years later.

Though, of course, the company is a lot different now then it was back then. And the prices are much more different. But the interior looked the same.

He paid and left the waitress a small tip.

Steve wasn't sure if he'd be returning anytime soon.

But he'd be damned if those still weren't the best burgers he's ever tasted.

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"Hi, my name is Max because the doctor said my mom couldn't name me 'oops'."

Max shifted her weight to the side of her hip, and scanned her customers at her table with her usual narrowed eyes, and obviously forced pepped up tone. "What can I get you guys today?"

Steve recognized Max first. Honestly, he was rather surprised to see she managed to keep her job for this long now, two months later. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat next to Tony, feeling uncomfortable under her criticizing scowl.

Normally, with Clint's hawk like gaze, he would of noticed Steve's uncomfortable manner any day, but at the moment he was currently occupied with his plastic yellow and white menu. The menu had a few options that varied between burgers, pastas, and sandwiches, and a few soups for appetizers, but that was pretty much it.

Tony, however, being the one next to Steve was able to notice his change in demeanor when he shifted and cleared his throat. "What's got your panties in a twist, pal?"

Steve turned to shoot a dirty glare at Tony, but was never able to form a reply before Max cut them off.

You see, now after the incident two months ago with the whole Meeting-Captain-America and drawing-a-dick-on-his-order thing, Caroline took Max straight to the museum to give Max a little history lesson on Hydra, Red Skull, and America's icon, Captain America.

So, this time, Max was able to recognize that buff body, bright blond hair, and those cheekbones anywhere. Upon recognizing him, she immediately turned her back on the group of men and cursed, tailing it over to where Earl was sitting while trying her best to say in a hushed whisper, "Oh shit, Earl, undercover feds! Hide the stash, hide the stash-!"

Tony pulled off his sunglasses, looking bewildered and obnoxiously offended. Clint set his menu down to raise an eyebrow at Steve, who groaned and buried his hands into his face with frustration and a hint of embarrassment. He was the one who suggested to Tony to come try the best burger in his life. Well, more like Tony offered to accompany him when he saw the Cap' sitting alone, still brooding over the fact that he couldn't find Bucky.

Clint had just overhead through the air vents and tagged along.

In the end, four burgers were placed on the table (two for the captain, because one just did not quite cut it last time) and Tony and Clint both agreed, through a mouthful of food that these were indeed the best burgers they had tasted.

They paid and left, but not before Tony made a comment to the busty brunette who stood (rather then serving their other customers) next to her blond friend, "Oh, and I am so not undercover, girlie. Gotta stash of my own, in fact I keep it around for when my buddy Hulks out."

Max pressed her lips together in appreciation, hands on her hips and she gave the man ("Who knew he'd end up being Iron Man?" Max cried out after being scolded by Caroline, who decided she was going to be more thorough with her research this time as she pointed to various articles on her laptop) a begrudging smile of approval.

Tony slipped the girls a bill from his wallet and pulled on his sunglasses, "Delicious burger, ladies." Before turning and leaving to return to the van.

"He gave us twenty dollars!" Max cried when she examined the bill. "I can't remember the last time I held a twenty in my hand!" She paused before remembering, "Oh wait.. 6th grade Ronnie said he'd give me ten bucks if I touch his balls. I kicked both of them and took all his money." She then beamed back down at the bill. "Awesome, same amount, less effort!"

Caroline shook her head trying not to get sidetracked by Max's story.

"Was that Tony Stark-?"

"Tony Who?"

"-playboy billionaire?!" Caroline was in her own world now, recalling all the parties she went to that Tony was supposed-to-but-didn't show up at.

Oleg perched himself against the window sill. "Did Iron Man just compliment my food?"

"WHAT!"

In which, Max nearly drops the food due to her frustration that even Oleg knew who Iron Man was, before her.

A/N: Hi guys! I have this story posted on AO3 under Tsundereism. I decided to post it on fanfiction, although I doubt it'll get as much recognition on here then it does on AO3 (30 comments on 3 chapters! Awesome fans are awesome.)