I stuffed my books in my bag along with my lunch, careful to place the crisps at the top so they wouldn't get too badly damaged. I then grabbed my little sister and brother's hands as I dragged them out the door; they didn't want to go to school at all.

"No! Kimmy we don't wanna go!" Ignoring their pleas to let them stay at home I opened the door and pushed them in the car, strapping their seatbelts on in record time so they wouldn't be able to escape.

"You guys have to and you know that. Don't worry, year 3 isn't even that bad" It was their first day back to school after summer holidays and I felt quite evil, locking them in the car and forcing them to go to school just like mum had made me years ago. At that moment I was acting like the mum they'd never had, without them even realising it.

"Pwease? With chewie on top and spwinkles?"

"Not going to work Blue I know you stopped talking like that when you turned four." I looked back for a second and found her pouting at me from the back and Gray with his arms crossed over his chest, the most indignant expression he could give me plastered on his face. "You guys are just going to have to suck it up, alright?"

"Whatever." He was going for the teenage response and I chuckled a little in amusement. He was going to make one hell of a teenager; if he never turned into one it would be too soon. The car went into the parking space and a simultaneous sigh was heard at the back, once again I had to cover the laugh that rose up to my lips and threatened to spill out.

"Ok, everybody out!" The doors opened in time with each other and they both walked their separate ways in step with the twin that was walking on the other side of the patio. The way they did most things in sync without noticing would never stop scaring the hell out of me, even after eight years of living with them. They even dressed like the other, albeit one in bright "princess" pink and the other in "epic" blue, as they had described it. Waving goodbye one last time I pulled out, watching them wave back in the exact same way and turn their heads towards me to see me before I left at the exact same time. Still weird.

I hurried to class, pushing kids that were smaller than me out of the way and dodging the hands and elbows of kids that were older than me. Oh hallway privileges, scaring year 7s since 1947. I finally arrived at home room and smiled at my waving friends in the corner, directing myself towards them and taking their choice to change seats in my stride. They'd never done it before but new year new rules, right? Ok, not right but there was nothing I could do about it. Even if it meant I wouldn't be able to stare at Jared as easily from there it looked like a decision they'd made together and I'd be against a majority vote. Instead I just sat down with them and tried many different ways of twisting and craning my neck to try to see his seat but it was an impossible feat, I didn't even manage to get a glimpse of his black hair.

"How'd your summer go?" Alice, my best friend, asked me after watching my futile attempts of catching Jared's eye or his anything if I was honest, catching his arm or hand wouldn't even be that bad. "

You know, apart from the usual not much." The usual was obsessing over Jared and daydreaming about him noticing me one day. We'd started using that code word after some of the other people on our table got kind of weirded out when they found out that that was the only thing I'd consistently done for a whole month, whereas the rest of them went down to Port angles or the beach even.

"You've got to be kidding me. We need to get you a hobby." She looked me up and down and then smiled a very evil looking smile. "I'd say basket ball but, well..." I hit her round the back of the head and she ducked to avoid it, giving me a momentary glance at my all time crush. Jared...

"The thing's I'd do to get that boy to notice me."

"Next time you get mad at me in form time I'll just duck for two seconds, it saved me from a good spanking." In response I just stepped hard on her foot without looking away, even if he wasn't in my line of sight anymore because she'd stopped hunching down to avoid getting hit again. "Yup, you definitely need a hobby. How does painting sound?" I did need something to do so that "the usual" stopped being exactly that but she knew just as well as I did that I loathed painting more than anything else in the world. I shot her an unamused look that got her to flash a smile that screamed you-love-me-really and finished the conversation even though we'd never talked about what she'd done over break. I didn't know about her but the flash I'd got of Jared suggested he'd spent his holidays in a body-builder training centre and a barber shop. Not that he didn't look cute, it was just weird, 'tis all. How can you get that buff in a month? Maybe it was my eyes playing with me again and a play with perspective; a glance didn't mean I'd seen him properly. So he probably didn't even have more muscles, just that weird buzz cut I was sure I'd seen.

The bell rung and I was once again pushed out to the hallways for yet another hit and dodge game. In fact I didn't mind them at all, I enjoyed them actually; it was the only time I felt even remotely graceful. Because I didn't have my next period with any of my nearby friends I could play to the fullest of my ability without having to grab anyone's hand and tug them through or be stopped by the sluggish moving of one of my friends in front of me. I could truly be free and fast when shifting and wiggling through crowds that scared my little sister and brother. Last time I'd taken them remotely close to a crowd I had to give them a double piggy back that made me get stuck in the middle of it when I could have easily navigated through it on my own. I was sure though that as soon as they got into high-school they'd develop the ability just like I had. When you're small you have to learn to squeeze through.

That day was different to say the least. Some year sevens weren't following the rules and pushed past me which made me outright furious, two years ago I hadn't even dreamt of pushing a year 11 out of the way and I was already in year 9, it just seemed like suicide. Which it was. I turned around swiftly and pulled down hard on one of their bags, it made the kid turn around indignantly but stop in his tracks when he saw my tie. The year eleven tie. He back peddled, the words "mission abort" flashing through his eyes for me to see. As soon as he could he turned around and ran as fast as he could back to his group of friends which wasn't very fast because the seconds he'd stopped had allowed a crowd to form between him and his pals, one he wouldn't be able to cross in a while, that much I could tell from experience.

He had it coming so with that I turned around and left the poor kid gaping as he tried to steer himself clear of me and over to his group of friends. Not gonna happen buddy. I mentally calculated the quickest route to English and finally decided on my favourite way down the back of the main building where only a few people went down. It was peaceful and quiet and I estimated it might take me a bit less but considering I'd never worn a watch in my life and that the difference was minute it was hard to tell. I finally arrived at English and took my seat and sighed, waiting for the moment I was really waiting for. Waiting for my whole life.

"Ok class, settle down!" Jared still hadn't arrived and I was starting to get nervous. English had passed slowly and tediously with the teacher explaining the rules that were taught in every lesson and Science had finally arrived.

I loved Science more than the world but still couldn't find it in me to try to enjoy my first chemistry lesson without Jared sitting next to me. I was just staring at the empty seat beside me in despair when it pulled back and I jumped about two metres, successfully falling out of my seat. Jared was surprised by my outburst and started looking down in shock.

"Oh sorry did I scare-" He suddenly cut himself off, just staring at me while I shuffled uncomfortably under his gaze on the floor, trying to get myself up. I finally did and I took a moment to adjust my skirt, sitting down and finding Jared still staring at me. I blushed a deep red and opened my notebook accidentally to the wrong page: The Jared Page. It was staring straight at me, daring me to close it quickly but draw attention back to myself or close it slowly, risking Jared seeing it. I decided on a mix of the two and was relieved when I saw him still staring at my face instead of the now closed notebook. Wait a minute, staring at me?

"Hi." I squeaked nervously, hoping it would get him out of his reverie but it never did, he just uttered a breathy hello back and that was that. He kept looking at me without even blinking unless he had to and I kept trying, that being the key word, to concentrate on protons and chemical changes or whatever. I loved chemistry so by the end of the lesson I was quite worried, I couldn't have possibly let someone distract me so easily, could I have? I had and I knew it, because I loved him more. Oh I loved him so much it hurt and just the thought of him staring at me sent my head spinning and my heart into a race to see how much it could beat in one minute. Needless to say that lesson it broke the record, beating so much and so loudly that I feared he'd hear it. I kept wiping my hands on my tights and praying for him to stop looking while at the same time hoping he'd never turn away. It was what I'd been waiting for my whole life and yet when I finally faced it I hid behind a curtain of hair and sweaty palms.

"I'm Jared." And there it was again. Puncture straight to my heart. I floated down from my frenzy and decided I'd never wanted him to look away but that was worse. Even if he did notice me for the first time in my life he thought it was the first time I had too which was downright offensive. I stalk the guy for twelve years and the least you'd expect was for him to at least acknowledge my presence or realise that he has a girl following him like a lost puppy. Nope, not even that.

"I know. Jared we've sat next to eachother for the past two years." I explained in a voice that surprisingly sounded full of mock patience and that had an outright patronizing ring to it. "I'm Kim." Deciding it was my chance I threw it in there casually just like it didn't matter but in fact it was a massive deal. He knows my name! I shrieked so loud I was sure my ears would have rung if it hadn't been inside my head.

"Can I call you Kimmy?"

"Yes!" I jumped straight for it and kind of regretted sounding a bit too straight forwards afterwards but my mouth and mind were so jumbled that my word filter was broken making it better to just give up so that it didn't hurt as much when I made a fool of myself. If I hadn't been trying then it didn't matter, right? "I mean yeah, sure." I turned bright read and kind of half smiled in embarrassment. Trying or not it was still awful.

"Cool." After a few minutes of an awkward silence forming between us and a lot of nodding and shuffling I burst out laughing, not being able to take the pressure anymore. "What?"

"That was just so-" Another bout of giggles escaped my mouth and I muffled it with my blazer. "Awkward." I finished but was left panting for air in the small classroom while we waited for the teacher to begin the lesson. "I'm- not- good with-" deep breath. "Awkwardness."

"You say that word a lot."

"That's because I am. Really awkward. Just ask my one and only friend."

"I wouldn't call it awkward, just..." He stopped for a minute and phrased his words carefully. "You just react differently to other people." A small pause that made me think he was done came but before I could change the conversation topic onto the work on the board his eyes grew to the size of saucers and he sped to "finish" his otherwise already terminated sentence. "In a good way. Of course in a good way, how could it not be in a good way? Everything you do is amazing and awesome and different in a perfect way... I'll shut up now."

"Did you just call me perfect?" I pinched my leg a little under the table and when nothing happened pinched it harder making it hurt like hell. I wasn't waking up which meant I was in a dream. Yeah, right.

"Maybe." Ok, definitely a dream./

I guessed it didn't matter because in reality I'd soon wake up anyway, injured leg or no and Jared would return to the smaller less ripped and shabbier version of himself, also the one that didn't notice me. But you know what my mum always used to tell me in times of difficulty?

Dreams are there to give you another shot at something else so that you can take a brake from everything. So enjoy them Kimmy and never let them go, no matter how impossible they seem./p